Kodansa Family/Transcript

Tonight
Announcer: "Tonight,"

[Michelle smashes a young girl's pelvis]

[The young girl falls down crying]

Announcer: "Gloria visits a large family facing the unthinkable having to detect problems."

[Cruise wails loudly and bawls]

[Frederick smuggles a drug]

[Phillip chokes a young girl]

Announcer: "Exceeding shocks and dirty language."

[Michelle chokes an 11-year-old kid with glasses]

Michelle: "TAKE THAT FOUR-EYES!"

[Phillip beats a fat kid with a mace]

Phillip: "THAT KID IS SO FAT HE EATS MCDONALD'S!"

Meryn: "SHUT THE (bleep) UP!"

Announcer: "Everything abundant with expulsion,"

[Bryce screams]

Principal: "On this day, Josef and Bryce will be expelled from this school."

Announcer: "Everything is a disaster."

Josef: "SUCK MY MOTHER(bleep)ING (bleep)!"

Announcer: "Can Gloria help the family since Neeleman Family?"

Josef: "I HATE YOU!"

Gloria: "It's been a long time."

Announcer: "Or will this family deal with more crisis?"

Meryn: "Supernanny shall fail, I GUARANTEE!"

Josef: "Me too!"

Celine: "Yeah!"

Submission Reel
Gloria: "I am here at Cedar Rapids, Iowa and this is what we have here."

???: "Hi I'm Olan and this is Kristen. We have 20 children. Larson, Landon, Lester, and Luther who are 12, Meryn who is 11. Ember is 22, Simon is 20, Michelle is 15, Frederick is 14, Phillip, Roberta, Nora and Verona are 13, Rain, Ice and Cloud are 7, Josef and Bryce are 4, Celine, Nicholas, Cameron, Emma and Aidan are 3. Cruise is 3 and Brooke is 20 months."

Kristen: "Ember and Simon are well-behaved and so are Cruise and Brooke."

The torture of Cruise
Gloria: "What came next was the unthinkable."

[The amok runners are holding several boxes containing bugs that Cruise hates as well as harmful ones]

Meryn (in a nasty voice): "We all have a surprise for you!"

Cruise: "I hope it's something good!"

[Cruise opens each box and bees, wasps, roaches, beetles, flies, ants, worms, spiders, and slugs come out of their respective boxes]

[Cruise screams]

Lester: "YOU REALLY DESERVED IT ANYWAY!"

Rain: "YEAH!"

Meryn: "I agree!"

[The released bugs crawl over Cruise's body while the bees and wasps begin stinging Cruise]

[Cruise starts crying]

Lester: "THAT KID DESERVES IT!"

[Ember comes in and examines Cruise's body covered in bugs, as the little boy begins wheezing and breaking out due to an allergy reaction]

[Ember calls 911]

Failed bullying attempt
Gloria: "Since I've did what I can but nothing worked, the only thing that I didn't do was with the piece of paper."

[Celine crumbles up the paper and throws it into the ground]

Gloria gives up
Gloria: "I'm afraid I have some bad news about the amok runners: Their behaviors were no better after I tried to get them to turn over a new leaf."

N.O.: "Oh dear, that just stinks."

Bryce: "Ha, Ha! Gloria, you lose! Nothing can stop us now!"

Lester: "I hope you've learned your lesson, B****ES!!!"

[Lester slaps Gloria twice]

Gloria: "Lester. We don't do that."

Lester: "Sorry."

Gloria: "Good bye, guys."

Meryn: "Goodbye, Gloria!"

Gloria: "I hope you be good. If you misbehave, I will come back to check with the other nannies."

[We hear police sirens off-screen]

Aftermath
N.O.: "That's it! My sisters and I are gonna find other various television programs to tame all mean nieces and nephews!"

Bryce: "Everything's gonna fail!"

Gloria: "This is my first loss, but I will come back later this season."

Lester: "You want some more?"

Meryn: "I guess nannies can never stop me!"