Britiana Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Kathryn: "Michaela, oh my god!"

Announcer: "Jo gets the shock of her life..."

Michaela: "Off with your head!"

Announcer: "Jo meets a family with a modern day's Lizzie Borden..."

Kathryn: "Michaela killed our mom and dad by beheading them."

Announcer: "...who's been kicked out of over 200 schools."

Announcer: "Can this family be saved or will it be off with Jo's head?"

Michaela: "Supernanny's head is next!"

Submission Reel
Jo: "Here I am in Oregon, ready to help yet another family. Let's see who we got here,"

???: "Hi, I'm Kathryn Britiana, and this is my fiancé, Adam."

Adam: "Michaela's been kicked out of about 200 schools. She went totally insane and killed both her parents, forcing Kathryn to become a third parent."

Michaela: "I'm gonna get you, (bleep)!"

Adam: "She is now being homeschooled."

Allyson: "I'm scared of my sister. I'm scared that she will kill me too."

Kathryn: "Michaela killed our mom and dad by beheading them. I was 17 years old when I lost my mother Tabitha."

[We see a picture of Tabitha]

Kathryn: "I couldn't believe that would happen."

[We see a picture of Michaela beheading Tabitha, most of it is censored]

Kathryn: "Michaela got a knife from the kitchen and chopped our mom's head off. We were at her funeral."

[We see a picture of Kathryn, Allyson, Noel, and Conrad at Tabitha's funeral]

Kathryn: "Michaela's behavior at the funeral was very embarrasing and appalling."

[We see a picture of Michaela dancing around the cemetery naked, her privates are censored.]

Kathryn: "Just the last two years, [We see a picture of Conrad] Conrad was killed by Michaela because he forbade her from seeing her boyfriend Robert."

[We see a picture of Robert]

Kathryn: "Robert's the same age as me. Michaela did the same thing that she did to Tabitha's funeral to Conrad's."

[Cut back to Kathryn talking.]

Kathryn: "I also have two well-behaved siblings: Noel is 10 and Allyson is 8. When Noel was 4, Michaela stabbed Noel in both legs with a knife and lacerated them. Noel was at the hospital for a week. Michaela beheaded her mother afterward because she was grounded for a year."

Adam: "After Michaela beheaded her father, Kathryn and I tried Behavior Modification Camp, Military School."

Jo Arrives at the Britiana Doorstep
[Jo rings the doorbell]

Michaela: "Off with your head!"

[Noel is hiding underneath the bed]

Jo: "Noel, what are you doing under that bed?"

Noel: "Hiding from Michaela. I'm scared of her because she wants to kill me and the whole family."

Jo: "Maybe I should talk to her and find out why she does this."

Noel: "Don't! She'll go insane!"

[Jo finds Michaela in another room]

Jo: "Michaela, why do you behead people?"

Michaela: "I don't know. I do get really angry."

Jo: "Noel tells me that you go insane. Is this true? Maybe you should try to find counseling."

Noel: "She hates it when the lights are off during the daytime causing her evil state."

Michaela's Homeschooling
[Michaela's English homeschool teacher Melanie rings the doorbell]

[Adam opens the door]

Melanie: "Hi, Adam."

Adam: "Hello, come on in."

Melanie: "Thank you."

Kathryn: "Hello, how are you?"

Melanie: "Hi, Kathryn, I'm Melanie, Michaela's English homeschool teacher."

Kathryn: "Michaela, Melanie's here, she's brought her laptop computer."

[Michaela looks unfazed]

[Adam and Kathryn help Noel and Allyson get ready for school]

Melanie: "Ready to begin your lesson?"

Observation Continues
???: "Hey, Michaela! Are you coming? We got a date!"

Michaela: "Coming, Robert!"

Jo: "Who was that?"

Kathryn: "That happens to be Michaela's 23-year-old boyfriend, Robert. Dad didn't approve of him due to a huge age difference and because of his criminal record."

Michaela: "See ya later, losers!"

Robert: "Yeah!"

[Robert and Michaela drive off on Robert's motorcycle]

Kathryn: "Michaela beheaded dad because he forbade her from seeing Robert."

Jo: "My word..."

Adult Meeting
Kathryn: "I am so scared of Michaela right now. She's mentally insane, she's mad, she's crazy! I think she has...snapped!"

Jo: "I spoke to a phyciatrist and he told me that Michaela is emotionally disturbed. Michaela feels like there is a dark side of her welling up inside of her."

Kathryn: "The last school she had been expelled from....it was set on fire."

Jo: "Michaela needs to calm down and collect her thoughts, otherwise she will be in jail for beheadings."

Kathryn: "After she beheaded mom, she said to dad if he dare snatches her to the police, she'll kill him and the whole family."

Jo: "Let's talk about her boyfriend, Robert."

Kathryn: "When she is in her calm state her hair is in a ponytail and wears a dress. But in her murderous state, she has blood all over herself and and her hair is in a messy pony tail and red tears runs down her eyes. I think she has what they call, a split personality."

Introduction to the Relfection Room
[Jo takes Michaela into the dining room] Jo: "Micahela, this room is going to be your Reflection Room. If Michaela does anything naughty, then Adam and Kathryn, you are to give her a warning and give her eye contact and say in a low toned voice "

Dinner Time
Jo: " "

Adam: "Michaela. Michaela, look at me please. I'm going to give you one warning. I'm going to put you in the Reflection Room if you don't "

Adam: "You will stay in here for 12 minutes and think about what you did."

Jo: "Because you did not listen to Adam. Come down to her level and talk to her in a low, authoritative voice."

Adam: "Michaela, listen to me. Michaela, the reason why I put you in the Reflection Room is because you did not listen to me."

Jo: "Walk away."

[Adam walks away and closes the door]

Jo: "Look at her, put your arms out and tell her to say sorry."

[Adam did as Jo tells him to do]

Adam: "Say sorry."

Jo: "Say sorry to Adam."

Adam: "Give me a hug and tell me you're sorry."

Michaela: "Sorry."

Adam: "Thank you. Give me a hug."

Jo: "And some kisses."

Trip to the Mall
Jo: "Later on, Kathryn was trying to get Michaela to go shopping with her and Noel, and Allyson is staying at home with Adam. But Michaela refused to go."

Kathryn: "Michaela! Noel! We're going to the mall to buy Allyson some birthday presents!"

Noel: "Coming, Kathryn!"

Michaela: "FUCK OFF! I AIN'T GOING!"

Kathryn: "Oh come on, Michaela. You should know that you must pick a present to give to our sister for her birthday. And Noel and I will have to do it too."

Noel: "I can't wait to buy Allyson a gift because I love her!"

Michaela: "Why does Allyson get to stay home with Adam?"

Kathryn: "Because..."

Michaela: "LA,LA,LA, SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Kathryn: "Because I said so."

{Little does Michaela know, she has a shock device attatched to her leg}

At the Mall
[Kathryn, Noel, Jo and Michaela arrive at the mall]

[Michaela sees her boyfriend, Robert, working at a Hot Dog on a Stick]

Robert: "Hi, Michaela. How are you doing?"

Michaela: "Hey, Kathryn, can I have a hot dog on a stick?"

Kathryn: "What?"

Michaela: "I said, can I have a hot dog on a stick?"

Kathryn: "Later. But right now, we have to focus on one task. Finding a gift for Aly."

[They arrive at a cute little store called Build-a-Bear workshop and see the Powerpuff Girls Build-a-Bear dolls]

Allyson's Birthday Party
Jo: "The next day was Allyson's birthday. To celebrate her birthday, she was having a Powerpuff Girls-themed birthday party and she invited her friends, Amaya, Emily, Samantha, Jessie, Leah, Hannah, Olivia and Leslie."

Jo: "Why, happy birthday, Allyson."

Kathyn: "Remember, Michaela, no beheading anybody. This is supposed to be a happy occasion."

Adam: "And you mustn't say bad words to anybody at the party, okay?"

Michaela: "It is very hard for me not to behead anyone because I just get really angry and start to get the urge to behead someone."

Allyson: [dressed in a Blossom costume] "Amaya, Emily, Hannah, Jessie, Leah, Leslie, Olivia, Samantha! Hi!"

Amaya: [dressed in a Bubbles costume] "Happy Birthday, Allyson!"

Leah: [dressed in a Buttercup costume] "Thanks for inviting us, Allyson,"

Adam: "Allyson, Amaya, Leah, can you come over here for a minute?"

Kathryn: "Amaya and Leah, can you stand between Allyson for us?"

[Kathryn poses Amaya and Leah between Allyson for a photograph]

Adam: "Okay, girls, smile and say 'cheese'!"

Allyson, Amaya & Leah: "CHEESE!"

[Adam takes a picture of Allyson, Amaya and Leah with his camera]

[Kathryn brings out the Blossom cupcakes and the Powerpuff girls birthday cake]

[We see a table with a huge pile of presents]

Kathryn: "Michaela, oh my god! What are you doing?"

Adam: "Michaela, Robert, no! Please calm down!"

[Kathryn places a shock collar around Michaela's neck]

Kathryn: (thinking) "Trust me, this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you..."

[Suddenly, a jolt of electricity surges right through Michaela, stunning her]

Michaela vs. the Babysitter
Jo: "Kathryn and Adam have decided to go out for dinner at an Italian restaurant called The Olive Garden. So they decided to leave Michaela, Noel and Allyson with a young babysitter named Tina Dumais."

Tina: "I have my babysitting notebook here so I'll write down some things that you're telling me."

Kathryn: "That's Michaela's Reflection Room which is in the dining room."

[Tina writes down all the information in her babysitting notebook]

Kathryn: "Now if Michaela misbehaves, give her a warning and if she will have to sit in the Reflection Room if she carries on and will sit down at the dining room table for 12 minutes."

[Tina writes it down in her babysitting notebook]

Adam: "And if Michaela swears, all you need to do is give her a Green Smoothie."

[Adam hands Tina a recipe for the Green Smoothie]

Adam: "You can find all the ingredients on this list anywhere in the kitchen."

Tina: "Okay."

[Kathryn hands Tina a long list of emergency numbers]

Kathryn: "If anything goes wrong, I have added the number to The Olive Garden, that's the place where we'll be going to."

Adam: "And here's a list of everything else."

Tina: "Great, I'll see you guys tonight."

Michaela: "Why do I have to be stuck with a sitter? I'm not a little kid anymore."

[Kathryn and Adam leave]