The Hudson Tridecaplets' 7th Birthday Party

Katie decides the theme
Katie: "Okay, what theme your and your tridecaplet siblings' birthday party would be?"

Alice: "Candy Crush Saga!"

Katie: "Great idea! I'll call Grandma Susie, the parents of all your classmates and your friends and Aunty Theresa."

Katie picks up Aunt Theresa, Brett, Joel, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom
[Katie drops off to Brett and Joel's house in Boulder, Colorado]

[Jessica rings the doorbell]

Grandma Susie: "Bye Jessica, see you later! Have fun with Audrey!"

To Chuck E. Cheese's
[Katie drives her van with the 22 people]

[The tridectuplets, Brett and Joel are playing Candy Crush Saga on their respective iPods and iPads]

[Juan, Jose and Antonio snatches Aunt Theresa's iPad and writes on her notes saying, "Brett and Joel are stupid (bleep)s!"]

Aunt Theresa: (reading) "Brett and Joel are stupid (bleeps)s."

[Aunt Theresa examines the bad note and deletes it]

At Chuck E. Cheese's
Juan: "WE WANTED TO GO TO BURGER KING AND WE WANTED A GANGNAM STYLE THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY!"

Katie: "Too bad, there's no Gangnam Style and we're not at Burger King. We're at Chuck E. Cheese's and their theme is Candy Crush Saga."

Jose: "WE HATE CHUCK E. CHEESE'S AND CANDY CRUSH SAGA! WE ONLY LIKE BURGER KING AND GANGNAM STYLE!"

Antonio: "CANDY CRUSH SAGA STINKS!"

Juan: "So f*** you!"

Katie: "You don't say that to people, that is unacceptable and you can have Gangnam Style for your thirteenth birthday at Burger King. Now calm down and don't even think about changing the theme."

Jose: "We'll blow up this dump!"

Antonio: "I WISH CANDY CRUSH SAGA NEVER EXISTED AND I ALSO WISH EVERY CANDY CRUSH SAGA PLAYER IN THE SEVEN CONTINENTS TO BE DEAD!"

[Juan kicks Katie's seat while Jose kicks Aunt Theresa's seat and Antonio kicks Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom's seat respectively]

The Birthday Starts
[Before the party, Juan, Jose, Antonio, Chester, Steven, William, and Gabe are all drawing a picture of someone resembling Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Mrs. Phoebe Wilson (the tridectuplets teacher), Brett, Joel, the tridectuplets, their friends, their friends' family, and the triplets' friends' parents being hit by a bullet train and blasted into Godzilla's mouth]

[Juan destroys all the games with viruses]

[Jose karate kicks one of the employees, causing him to faint]

[Antonio breaks all the Candy balloons with a pin]

[Steven pushes a customer to a wall]

[Chester flips off Katie]

[William bullies the tridectuplets, Brett, Joel and their friends]

[Gabe runs to the boy's room and beats up a kid in there]

Katie: "OMG!"

[The triplets and their friends get a box a knifes and lacerates Brett, Joel their tridecaplet siblings and their friends]

Grandma Susie: "Oh my lord!"

[The triplets and their friends smash the Candy Crush Saga birthday ice cream cake on Brett, Joel and their tridecaplet siblings and their friends]

Alice: "Yuck!"

[The triplets and their friends change the Candy Crush Saga theme song to Gangnam Style, takes off their clothes and dances on the table naked, spitting on all the guests]

[Grandpa Tom changes the music back to the Candy Crush Saga theme song]

Aunt Theresa: "Since I work at Chuck E. Cheese's, I'm going to fix all the games."

[Aunt Theresa fixes all the broken games]

[A 17 year old female worker sees all the chaos]

17 year old female worker: "What the h*** is going on?"

[Juan pushes 17 year old female worker to the garbage]

Antonio: "Leave her alone, she's garbage!"

Katie: "Juan, Antonio and Jose, take some tokens and go play some games for a while until they our pizza is ready. Go on and keep out of trouble."

[Juan defecates, farts and pees in the ball pit]

[Jose pours some bugs on the table]

[Antonio flips Chuck E. the bird off]

[The triplets and their friends are throwing 400 rocks and bricks on Katie, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Aunt Theresa, Mrs. Wilson, Brett, Joel, the tridectuplets, their friends, their friends' family members, and the parents of the triplets' friends, causing them to be knocked down]

Mrs. Wilson: "Okay, boys and girls and everybody! Time to gather round at the and sing Happy Birthday!"

[Chuck E. and his pals gather]

Katie/Aunt Theresa/Guests/Brett/Joel/Grandma Susie/Grandpa Tom/Mrs. Wilson (singing): "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to the Hudson tridecaplets, happy birthday to you."

[Juan smacks Mrs. Wilson on the face]

[Jose bites Mrs. Wilson on the leg]

[Antonio flips Mrs. Wilson the bird off]

[Steven hits the tridectuplets, Brett, Joel and their friends]

[Chester spits on the families of the tridectuplets' friends]

[William flips off all the adults]

[Gabe slaps Chuck E. on the face]

17 year old female worker (to Juan, Jose, Antonio, Steven, Chester, William and Gabe): "You boys, we don't tolerate this behavior in public, thank you.".

William: "SHUT UP YOU A***!"

[Gabe kicks the 17 year old female worker on the face]

Brett and Joel: "Mom, we're up to Level 2,977 and we can't pass it due to its difficulty."

Aunt Theresa: "Do you want me to help you?"

Brett and Joel: "YES!"

30 minutes later

Katie: "Guys! We're leaving!"

Brett: "Why?"

Aunt Theresa: "Because your adoptive cousins ruined this celebration."

[Aunt Theresa notices the tridecaplets, their friends, Brett and Joel's laceration and dials 911]

A few minutes later

[Paramedics arrive on the scene]

[Brett, Joel and the tridecaplets and their friends are taken to the hospital by ambulances]

[Some parents of the tridecaplets' friends go with them in the ambulances, while their spouses stay with the siblings of the tridecaplets' friends]

[Katie sobs]

[Juan, Jose, Antonio, Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Mrs. Wilson, and the families of the tridecaplets' friends go home]

Katie Loses It
[Katie and her family gets home]

[A minute later, the triplets are about to hit Katie]

[Katie's temper explodes]

Katie: "JUAN DIEGO, JOSE LUIS AND ANTONIO FRANCESCO HUDSON, YOU'RE BANNED FROM SEEING YOUR FRIENDS FOR 20 WEEKS, YOU WILL NOT BE NEAR A SCREEN FOR A MONTH! YOU WILL NOT PLAY OUTSIDE FOR 6 MONTHS, AND YOU WILL DO HOMEWORK EVERYDAY, ESPECIALLY ON WEEKENDS AND YOU WILL ALSO EAT GRAPE NUTS AND BABY FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES!

Antonio: "This wouldn't have happened if you let us stay home, you stupid sl**y b****!"

Katie: "YOU'RE ALSO LUCKY THAT AUNT THERESA, GRANDMA SUSIE, GRANDPA TOM, MRS. WILSON  AND THE PARENTS OF YOUR TRIDECAPLET SIBLINGS' FRIENDS DIDN'T PRESS CHARGES AGAINST YOU MISTERS!!!!!!!!!!!

Jose: "F*** you!"

Katie: "YOU DO NOT CHANGE WHERE WE'RE GOING TO AND CHANGE THE THEME, YOU THINK CANDY CRUSH SAGA IS BORING BUT GANGNAM STYLE IS FUN, BUT CANDY CRUSH SAGA IS NOT! YOU RUINED THEIR BIRTHDAY, YOU RUINED THEIR LIVES, YOU RUINED THEIR CHANCE TO PLAY WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND ESPECIALLY BRETT AND JOEL, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU RUINED THEIR CHANCE TO HAVE FUN!!!! HOW DEPRESSING!"

Juan: "I wish you were dead!"

FROM NOW ON UNTIL YOU BEHAVE THE RIGHT WAY, YOU WILL NOT BE GOING TO CHUCK E. CHEESE'S FOR LIFE! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR LIFE!!!!! GO WRITE AN ESSAY ON WHAT YOU DONE AND SORRY NOTES TO THE PEOPLE AT THE PARTY AND DELIVER THEM PERSONALLY TO ALL THE KIDS AT THE HOSPITAL, TO MRS. WILSON AND TO THE PARENTS AND THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF THE TRIDECAPLETS' FRIENDS!!!!!"

[Aunt Theresa and Grandma Susie arrive at the Hudsons' house with wooden spoons]

[Katie goes into the kitchen and grabs herself a wooden spoon]

Katie, Aunt Theresa & Grandma Susie: "Juan, Jose and Antonio, you will be hit by the wooden spoons for 5 minutes and also, don't move."

Katie: "Hold still please."

Juan: "Why?"

[Katie puts Juan across her lap while Grandma Susie and Aunt Theresa do the same to Jose and Antonio respectively]

[The three women start spanking the triplets with wooden spoons]

Grandpa Tom: "DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU THREE ARE GETTING A SPANKING?!"

Jose: (crying and wailing) "BECAUSE WE RUINED THE TRIDECAPLETS' BIRTHDAY! The reason we did it is because you a stupid, ugly cow! I wish you never adopted us in the first place, you smelly w****!"

Juan: "GO F*** YOURSELF, F***OTS!!!!"

Antonio: "YEAH ALSO, WE HATE CANDY CRUSH SAGA!"

Adults: "IF YOU WANT TO CRY WE WILL DO IT HARDER!"

5 minutes later

Katie: "GO WRITE AN ESSAY, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Antonio: "No!"

Grandma Susie: "WELL, TOO BAD! YOU HAVE TO!"

Juan: "F*** you!"

Jose: "You are a stupid, fat cow!"

Aunt Theresa: "IF YOU DON'T DO IT BY THE TIME I COUNT TO 30, THEN YOU WILL GET ANOTHER 5 MINUTE SPANKING!!!!! The only programs on TV you will only be allowed to watch from now on are baby shows like Sesame Street, Barney, Blue's Clues, Teletubbies, Dora the Explorer and Dragon Tales!"

Writing an Essay
[The triplets reluctantly begin writing, under the 4 adults' supervision]

[Juan's essay says, "Candy Crush Saga should be killed by Godzilla!"]

[Jose's essay says, "Chuck E. is a (bleep)!"]

[Antonio's essay says, "I wish you're all dead!"]

[Juan's letter says, "I'm not sorry!"]

[Jose's letter says, "Go to hell, Candy Crush Saga fans!"]

[Antonio's letter says, "Candy Crush Saga would never exist before they recover!"]

[Katie reads the essays and sorry letters out loud, then rubs them with a eraser]

Jose: "Let's go and kill mom, too!"

Steven
Ellen: "Steven you are not going to see Juan, Jose and Antonio anymore until your behavior gets much better."

Carl: "You will not see, talk or play with these boys."

[Steven flips off Ellen and Carl]

Chester
Arlene: "CHESTER! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SEE JUAN, JOSE AND ANTONIO ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY ARE A POOR INFLUENCE ON YOU!"

James: "FIRST OF ALL, THEY HAVE TO BE GROUNDED, SECOND OF ALL, THEY HAVE TO BE IN TIMEOUT, AND LASTLY, THEY ARE BANNED FROM SEEING, YOU, STEVEN, WILLIAM AND GABE Permanently!"

[Chester bites Arlene on the hand and hits James on the neck]

William
Marisol: "William, you'll not see Juan, Jose and Antonio anymore until you learn how to behave!"

Daryl: "These boys have a very bad influence."

[William smacks Marisol on the face and kicks Daryl on the stomach]

Gabe
Janet: "You know what Gabe, you will not hang out with Juan, Jose and Antonio anymore!"

Kevin: "I'll call their mother and them her not to play with you permanently."

[Gabe punches Janet's breasts and strikes Kevin on the hip]

Katie visits Brett, Joel, the tridectuplets and their friends
[Katie, Aunt Theresa & Grandma Susie drag Juan, Jose & Antonio to Katie's car]

[Grandpa Tom follows them]

Visiting Brett and Joel
Aunt Theresa: ""

Visiting the Tridecaplets
Katie: ""

Visiting the Tridecaplets' Friends
[Katie drives to Mrs. Wilson's house]

Mrs. Wilson: ""

Katie books the cruise
[Katie is on her phone playing Candy Crush Saga]

[The phone rings]

Katie: "Hello?"

Waiter: "Are you here to call me for your tridectuplets' birthday?"

Katie: "Yes."

Waiter: "How many people do you need?"

Katie: "218 people. My tridectuplets have 3 friends and each friend has 1 brother, 1 sister, 1 mother and 1 father. Their teacher Mrs. Phoebe Wilson is also coming too and so are my parents, my sister and my two nephews."

Waiter: "The cruise has 5 stories, and each story has 50 tables, and each table has 5 chairs so I think it is a perfect number for that celebration."

Katie: "I tell my triplets not to bring their friends over because the tridectuplets can make their own party. As a matter of fact, I decided to end the friendships."

At the Cruise Party
[The Hudson Family, the families of the tridectuplets' friends and Mrs. Wilson are all seated at the table]

[The tridectuplets, their friends and Brett and Joel are all playing Candy Crush Saga on their respective iPods and iPads]

[Mrs. Wilson is also playing Candy Crush Saga on her cell phone]

Mrs. Wilson: "D*** it! I can't get past my Level 3,501! I can't get that 2 chocolate balls with another chocolate balls in 40 moves with 5 colors! This is so crazy and how did King.com make this level like that!"

Katie: "Me too! I can't get passed Level 4,672! I can't get all the jellies cleared in a short amount of moves with 6 colors and too many layers of the icing!"

[The family (except for Juan, Jose and Antonio), the tridectuplets' friends and their families, and Mrs. Wilson continue playing Candy Crush Saga]

[Juan, Jose and Antonio snatch one of the waiters' iPods, then play Gangnam Style on YouTube and dances it on one of the tables naked]

Antonio: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BOYS AND GIRLS OF ALL AGES, PRESENTING, THE GANGNAM STYLE BY JUAN, JOSE AND ANTONIO!"

[All the people get distracted, even the Hudson Family while playing Candy Crush Saga]

Juan: "Ahhhhhh, sexy ladies! Wop, wop, wop, wop, Oppa Gangnam Style!"

[Everyone covers their ears]

Katie: "SIT DOWN! JUAN, JOSE AND ANTONIO!"

[Jose runs to a 25 year old woman and tries to knock down her baby's high chair, then the baby cries]

25 year old woman: "Oh no, are you okay?"

[Juan pokes a waitress's face with a fork]

Waitress: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!"

[Antonio runs to the employee's cooking room and smashes the ovens with a frying pan]

Waiter: "Young man, you do not go to this room and a guardian or parent is not with you and now you've damaged the ovens! They costed over thousands of dollars in total!"

Antonio: "BURN IN H***!" (laughs)

[Waiter ignores the rude comment]

[One of the waiters serves some vegetable soup]

[Everyone eats the vegetable soup]

Everyone: "Delicious."

30 minutes later

Mrs. Wilson: "Okay! Let's sing the Best Day of My Life!"

[Juan, Jose, Antonio, Mrs. Wilson, Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie, Grandpa Tom, Brett, Joel, the tridectuplets, their friends and their families join together to sing]

1 hour later

[The triplets try to escape from the cruise and run to their friends, Steven, Chester, William and Gabe with their clothes off]

Alice: "Mom, what are Juan, Jose and Antonio doing?"

Katie: "Looks like "

[Katie, Aunt Theresa, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom scoop the triplets up from seeing Steven, William, Chester and Gabe]

Juan, Jose and Antonio (crying, screaming and wailing): "WE WANTED STEVEN, CHESTER, WILLIAM AND GABE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid f***ing b****!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Kyle, Jonathan and Ryan try to forbid the triplets from seeing their friends]

Jonathan: "Juan, Jose and Antonio, you do not escape from the cruise just because you three wanted to see your friends. You're here to celebrate the birthday party with me and my tridectuplet sisters and brothers, our friends and my family."

[Antonio grabs a sledgehammer and hits Jonathan on the face with it]

Antonio: "This is for being a horrible person!"

[Jonathan runs crying to Brett and Joel]

Brett; "Jonathan, are you okay?"

Jonathan (sobbing): "Juan, Jose and Antonio hurt me!"

[Joel tries to confiscate the sledgehammer from Juan, Jose and Antonio, but Joel missed and slipped, and also came crying to Alice]

Alice: ""

2 hours later

[Everyone goes into the dancing room]

[Juan, Jose and Antonio are seasick and not interested in dancing]

[The triplets from a conga line and run around the dance room]

Jose: "ALL ABOARD THE MEXICAN EXPRESS, COMING THROUGH!"

Julia: "IT IS NOT THE MEXICAN EXPRESS!"

[They bump into everyone else one by one, causing him or her to fall down and injure his or herself]

Katie: "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DONE FOR THE DAY!"

Antonio: "Get back, or else I'll set off the pipe bomb in the engine room, and then the ship goes KA-BOOM!"

[Antonio is carrying a pipe bomb]

[An adult in a Tiffi (the main character of Candy Crush Saga) costume arrives from the bathroom]

Adult in Tiffi Costume: "Are you guys ready to play Candy Crush Saga on the Smartboard?"

[Juan smacks Adult in Tiffi costume on the face]

[Jose bites Adult in Tiffi costume on the leg]

[Antonio flips Adult in Tiffi costume the bird off]

Adult in Tiffi Costume: "OW! YOU'RE H***ING ME!"

[The triplets take off the head of the Tiffi costume, revealing Mrs. Wilson's face]

Mrs. Wilson: "AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Mrs. Wilson screams in horror while the triplets laugh at her]

Joel "Sorry, it was my adoptive Mexican triplet cousins who did it."

Mrs. Wilson: "It's okay, Joel Hudson."

Joel: "Just call me Joel."

Antonio: (with the megaphone) "Attention, everybody on this ship! We have planted a pipe bomb in the engine room and it will explode in 3 minutes! If mom does not let us talk to our friends on FaceBook, we will blow up the ship right now!"

[Mrs. Wilson puts her head back in the costume]

Mrs. Wilson: "Are you ready to play Candy Crush Saga?"

[The tridectuplets, their friends, Brett, and Joel raise their hands]

Captain: "Somebody placed a pipe bomb in the engine room! Will anyone please remove it?"

Aftermath
Katie: "OH MY GOD, JUAN DIEGO HUDSON, JUAN LUIS HUDSON AND ANTONIO FRANCESCO HUDSON! YOU'VE RUINED ANOTHER PARTY FOR THEM WHICH MEANS I'LL DOUBLE YOUR GROUNDING TIME WHICH MEANS YOU WILL BE GROUNDED FOR A DOUBLE LIFE, YOU WILL NOT SEE, PLAY AND TALK TO STEVEN, CHESTER, WILLIAM AND GABE FOR 40 WEEKS, YOU WILL ALSO EAT ALL THE HEALTHY FOODS THAT WE ARE EATING, ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES! YOU WILL NOT BE NEAR A SCREEN FOR 2 MONTHS! YOU WILL ALSO NOT PLAY OUTSIDE FOR A YEAR! YOU RUINED THEIR PARTIES, YOU RUINED THEIR LIVES, YOU ALSO RUINED THEIR CHANCE TO PLAY WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND ESPECIALLY BRETT AND JOEL, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU RUINED THEIR CHANCE TO HAVE FUN! YOU'RE ALSO LUCKY THAT YOUR TRIDECTUPLETS, BRETT, JOEL AND THEIR FRIENDS DIDN'T GO TO HOSPITAL AGAIN AND ME, AUNT THERESA, GRANDMA SUSIE, GRANDPA TOM, MRS. WILSON, AND THE PARENTS OF YOUR TRIDECTUPLETS FRIENDS DIDN'T PRESS CHARGES ON YOU! NOW YOU WILL DEFINITELY WRITE A DOUBLE ESSAY ON WHAT YOU DONE AND SORRY LETTERS TO THE PEOPLE PARTICIPATING IN THE PARTY EXCEPT FOR YOURSELVES BECAUSE YOU THREE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE BANNED FROM THE CRUISE FOR LIFE, JUST LIKE I GROUNDED YOU AFTER THE CHUCK E. CHEESE'S PARTY! I'M EXTREMELY SERIOUS WITH YOU AND ME, AUNT THERESA, AND GRANDMA SUSIE WILL GIVE YOU A TEN MINUTE SPANKING THAT IS 2 TIMES HARDER AND LONGER THAN THE LAST SPANKING!"

[The triplets fart on the tridectuplets, Brett and Joel]

Alice "Ewwww! Disgusting!"

[The adults (except for Grandpa Tom) grab wooden spoons, send the triplets to their room and spank their rear ends]

Katie, Aunt Theresa and Grandma Susie: "Juan, Jose and Antonio. You three will get a 10 minute spanking."

Katie: "Hold still please."

Antonio: "Why?"

[The 3 women spank the triplets with the wooden spoons]

The tridectuplets reveal their birthday presents
[The tridectuplets reveal their presents from Brett, Joel, their friends, Aunt Theresa, Katie, Mrs. Wilson, Grandma Susie and Grandpa Tom]