Teavee Family 2028 Christmas

December 6: writing to Santa
(The kids are writing letters)

Time to Go to Hannah's Christmas Play
Nicole: " "

Mike: "Matthew Christopher and Kyle Steven Teavee, hurry up or we're gonna miss it!"

Hannah's Christmas Play
[We see Hannah, dressed as the Spirit of Christmas Past for the school play, A Christmas Carol]

Hannah: "Hey Dad, how do I look?"

Mike: "Why, you look absolutely beautiful!"

Time to Go to Grandma and Grandpa's House
Nicole: " "

Mike: "Boys, we're going to miss the plane to Marble Falls if you don't hurry up!"

At Grandma and Grandpa's House
[Mike is chatting to his parents Stephanie and Lawrence via FaceTime]

Mike: "This is going to be our first Christmas since Sharon and I divorced. She was such a filthy harlett!"

Matt: "I wish I could see and talk to Mom."

[The doorbell rings]

Grandma Stephanie: "Hello, who is this?"

[Aunt Mary-Beth, Uncle Jerry and their kids Mia, Nicole, Sarah and Misty arrive]

At the Mall
Nicole: " "

Hannah: "I'm going to buy a gift for you, dad, so you mustn't look."

[Matt shoplifts an iPhone X]

Mike: "Matthew Christopher Teavee! What are you doing?"

[Kyle shoplifts a Nintendo 2DS]

Mike: "Kyle Steven Teavee!"

Kyle: "Ha Ha!"

[But it is too late for Mike because now Matt is encouraging Kyle to steal a toy and an Elf DVD]

Aftermath
Mike: "STEALING?! How could you boys? What is bothering you? Why did you do it?"

Matt: "You never let us see mom."

Kyle: "We want to live with mom."

Mike: "Absolutely not! Your mom was a hooker! She never bothered taking care of you! All she did was go out to parties, drink, take drugs, gamble and smoke! She also stole money from me and my parents so that she could keep up her gambling habits, purchase unaffordable vacation properties, and even bought things she couldn't afford!"

The Christmas Eve Service
[Matt yawns loudly]

Aftermath
Hannah: "Dad, look! The cookies and fudge are all gone!"

Time to Open Presents
Mike: "Okay you three, let's look inside your stockings."

[Hannah looks inside her stocking]

Hannah: "Look dad! I've got a new iPod nano, mermaid slime, candy, earbuds, a gift card to iTunes and these fabulous earmuffs!"

[Matt and Kyle look inside their stockings and find nothing but sticks and big, fat, dirty lumps of coal]

Matt: "What?! COAL?!!!"

Kyle: "Aw, phooey!""

Mike: "Because, I think you both probably deserve them."

Grandma Stephanie: "Now children, shall we open presents?"

[Hannah opens up all her presents]

Hannah: "Oh wow! I've got an Easy Bake Ultimate Oven, a Nintendo Switch with games, a Furby, a Razor Spark scooter, Easy Bake Ultimate Oven Red Velvet cupcakes mix, Easy Bake Oven pretzel dipper mixes, Easy Bake Ultimate Oven Dessert Dippers mix, Easy Bake Ultimate Oven cheese pizza mix, Scientific Explorer Spa Science and a Criss Angel Mind Freak Platinum Magic Kit!"

[Matt opens up his present to find a note from Santa saying, "Matt, Sprite the Elf told me all about you. He says that you have been very bad this year. You ruined your sister Hannah's Christmas play, asked to live with your mother who never took care of you, tormented your teacher, bullied other children, shoplifted from stores, tortured your daddy and encouraged your younger brother Kyle to be naughty. Signed, Santa Claus" in cursive]

Matt: "Ah, phooey..."

[Kyle opens up his present to find a note from Santa saying, "Kyle, you have been very naughty this year. You shoplifted from stores, ruined the Christmas pageant, tortured your sister Hannah, hit your teacher, followed your big brother's bad example, asked to live with your mother who never took care of you, terrorized the kids in the neighborhood and even vandalized a neighbor's house by throwing eggs at it. Signed, Santa Claus" in cursive]

Kyle: "Screw Santa..."

Mike: "Well for that, Matt and Kyle, you have now lost all of your privileges for the rest of the year."

Kyle: "Boo!"

Matt: "Come on Kyle, LET'S KILL HANNAH!!!!!!"

Hannah: "DADDY, HELP ME!"

Mike: "Don't worry Hannah! Daddy's coming!"

[Mike pulls Matt and Kyle away from Hannah]

The Missing Presents
[The cousins come downstairs along with Aunt Mary-Beth and Uncle Jerry]

Nicole: "Mummy, Daddy, Uncle Mike, "

Mike: "Well kids, let's find out who took them."

Dinnertime
Matt and Kyle: "FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!"

[Hannah hides under the table]

Grandma Stephanie: "Oh, my lord!"

Mike: "Guys."

Matt: "NO!!!!!"

Kyle: "No way!"

Mike: "Break it up, you guys. Can't we all have a nice family Christmas dinner for once? Wouldn't it kill you to sit still for at least ten minutes without causing havoc? This is the holidays."

Kyle: "NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Aftermath
[The family arrives home]