Kalime Family/Transcript

Tonight on Supernanny...

''Jo faces her toughest family yet. With five children - two extremely naughty and one Internet-addicted, it'll take a lot of work to control these kids.''

Jo: [opens her DVD player] Let's see who we've got here.

Kalistiano: We are the Kalime family. I'm Kalistiano.

John: And I am John.

Kalistiano: We have five children - Kim, who is 14, Kelly and Karla, who are 11, Kalistiano Jr., who is 7, and Ken, who is 4.

John: Ken is 4, and is still not potty trained. He will kick, scream, hit, and even attempt to MURDER people if he doesn't get his way.

Jo: Oh dear.

Kalistiano: Kalistiano Jr. often peppers her sentences with profanity and sometimes roams around outside completely naked.

Jo: This family needs some serious help. I'm on my way!

[at the house]

John: Hi, Jo.

Kalistiano Jr.: Can someone get this b**ch out of my f**kin' house?

John: Kalistiano Jr., NO SWEARING.

Kalistiano Jr.: F**k off.

John: That's it! You are getting Sriracha sauce in your mouth! [carries Kalistiano Jr. to the kitchen]

Kalistiano Jr.: F**K YOU!

John: Young lady, do you want soap?

Kalistiano Jr.: NO!

John: Then stop swearing. One last chance, and only one last chance.

Supernanny: Already, Kalistiano Jr. was acting up! And Dad was threatening to put sauce in her mouth. I do congratulate his firm attitude, though.

Kalistiano: Hi honey, I'm home! How's Ken doing?

John: He's been sleeping.

Kalistiano: Man, we really need to potty train that kid.

John: I'll go wake him up. [wakes up Ken] Good afternoon, Ken. [puts a bright blue shirt on Ken]

Ken: [pees in his diaper] Daddy, Daddy!

John: Today, you're gonna be potty trained and wearing big boy underpants!

Kalistiano: Hi, Ken! Here's some underwear, a potty, a potty seat and a potty stool! [pulls off Ken's diaper and throws it out the window]

Ken: NO! NO! NO! DIAPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Kalistiano: No diapers. Diapers are only for bedtime.

Ken: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kalistiano: Which pair of underwear would you like?

Ken: A diapie!

Kalistiano: A diaper isn't a pair of underwear.

John: Here, I'll leave you to pick a pair of underwear.

Ken: Diapie! [falls on his back and cries] Tiffany! TIFFANY! I NEED DIAPIE!

Tiffany: I'm sorry, Ken, but Kalistiano and John told me you're only allowed to wear a nappy if you're going to bed, going on a trip for more than 15 minutes or have a stomach bug.

Sarah: What's going on, mummy?

Tiffany: Ken's demanding for a nappy.

Sarah: I stopped wearing nappies when I was 1.

Tiffany: That's right!

Ken: No diapie, no nothing! [runs downstairs naked]

Kalistiano: Ken, go back upstairs!

Ken: RAAAAAH! [grabs a crowbar and stabs Kalistiano]

Jo: Ken flat-out refused to wear underwear, demanded Tiffany to put a diaper on him and stabbed Kalistiano in the face! How can they allow this?