Karen Ruins the Movie (Ft. Mark Slater)

(We see Mark Slater sitting in the front row at a movie theater, and Karen Karen is seated to the far right)

Mark: Oh boy! It sure is a nice day to finally get out of the house and get a break from my sister's raging fits and my brother's antics. I can't wait to see the film Lords of Chaos. The popcorn is so delicious.

Karen: Um, excuse me, sir?

Mark: Oh god! It's another Karen!

Karen: Excuse me? Just because my name is Karen Karen doesn't mean you stereotype me!

Mark: Wait, your last name is Karen?

Karen: Yes.

Mark: That's even worse! Well what do you want?

Karen: Well, you are sitting in my daughter's spot. I demand you move this minute!

Mark: Listen up, you wretched monkey! This is not your spot. You did not reserve this seat before you came to the movies. Besides, you need to keep your distance. It's still Pandemic-Mania and you are literally right in front of my face.

Karen: I booked this specific spot two weeks ago, and you had the nerve to take my daughter's spot, and to rip up my reservation. Now, are you going to move, or do I need to call the cops? Also, you look like a metalhead. You remind me of my son Richard, and his heavy metal music is terrible! Why don't you start listening to Yoko Ono?

Mark: I hate that crazy lady so much. Her screams are horrible. And also, you do realize that this is a screening for Lords of Chaos, which is about the Norwegian Black Metal scene in the late 80s and early 90s, right? If you don't like heavy metal, then why are you even here to begin with?

Karen: That doesn't matter! I demand that you listen to the album "Two Virgins" right now, or I will have you arrested for verbally assaulting me and my daughter and Ken!

Ken: I AM GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK!!!!

Karen: Aw great! Now, he is having a panic attack because you had the nerve to trespass on my property. My stupid disgrace of a husband is using Asperger's as a coverup. My son is cursed!

Mark: No he is not! I have watched you on Supernanny, and Kendra agrees that Ken is very sensitive to loud noises. My sister is very similar, except she have nonverbal autism, and can't communicate. She throws violent meltdowns. Now, do you call that being cursed?

Karen (picking up the phone): Help! HELP! CALL THE PRIEST!!! THIS MAN IS POSSESSED BY SATAN!!!! I NEED TWO EXCORISMS! ONE FOR THIS MAN, AND ONE FOR MY DAUGHTER KEN!!!!!!!!!

(Mark punches Karen in the stomach)

Karen: Now, this man is assaulting me! He tried to stab me!

Mark: I JUST PUNCHED YOU, FOOL!!!!! And, no! I don't need an exorcism! I am sick of people saying that I am being controlled by the devil and crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Karen changes the movie, and blasts Yoko Ono's "Warzone" at max volume) ••https://youtu.be/eAsV7Udjl4A

(Ken bangs the seat, and knocks down her lemonade and popcorn, and it lands on Mark)

Mark: WHAT THE HECK, DUDE?!?!

(Suddenly, the manager arrives)

Manager: Madam, we do not tolerate this behavior in this theater. I am afraid I will have to kick you out of here. You are banned from coming back here for the rest of your life.

Karen: HOW DARE YOU! I DON'T DESERVE THIS! I WANT A LAWYER! I WANT TO SPEAK WITH A MANAGER!!!!

Manager: Miss, I am the manager, and you are banned from this movie theater. Now, I suggest you and your daughter leave this place, or I will call the police!!

Karen: I swear, Ken! When we get back home, I will be dragging your devil butt into the Torture Chamber!

(The scene ends as Karen leaves the theater, crying)

Coming up, we meet our very last Karens of the series. A white evangelical pastor ...

Pastor: This is unacceptable! Do you know that? This is Satan's juice you are taking.

And the Plank family!

Tyson: Well, I am going to buy the CD to the new Cradle of Filth album whether you like it or not!

Lisa: You better start liking Ponyo right now!!!!!!!

A karen vs a karen!

Hope: We are not watching Ponyo because it is childish!!!! Now, shut up!

Pastor: If you take that jab, you will be damned for all of eternity!!!!!

And coming up on series 3, Derek Armstrong gets exposed!

Derek: No! You are not buying that! That's for good Christian children only!

Coming your way!!!!! :)