Hansen Family/Transcript

before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: Tonight, on Supernanny...Jo is on a rescue mission to take on a wild 6-year-old girl who is driving a military family apart...with swearing

Naughty Couch Technique
Jo: "Later on, Sandra was preparing lunch for the family. But Kelly, didn't like what was on the menu."

Kelly: What the hell is that?

Sandra: A turkey sandwich.

Kelly: "I HATE TURKEY! IT TASTES LIKE Shit!"

[Kelly pushes the plate aside]

Jo: "The way she just spoke to you was totally unacceptable. Go over to her and give her a warning for that behavior."

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! This is your warning. If you do not eat that sandwich or continue to talk to Mommy like that, you will be sent to the Naughty Couch, and in addition, I will be taking away one of your Monster High dolls. Is that clear?"

[Kelly throws the sandwich at Sandra]

Jo: When Kelly decided to throw the sandwich at Sandra, she was put straight onto the Naughty Couch.

Sandra: "You are on this couch because you are not behaving nice. You will sit on the couch for 6 minutes!"

[Sandra confiscates Kelly's Monster High Draculaura doll]

[Sandra and Jo walk off]

Kelly: "JO-JO IS A MONKEY!!!"

[Kelly flips Jo off]

[Sandra confiscates Kelly's Monster High Skull Shores Lagoona Blue doll]

Sandra: "Stop it, Kelly!"

Jo: "Just ignore that."

[Kelly gets up off the couch]

Jo: "Put her straight back onto that couch and don't say anything to her at all."

Jo: "Little did we know, Kelly had a few tricks up her sleeve."

[Kelly locks herself in the bathroom as Sandra goes to get her]

Sandra: "Kelly Ann! Unlock this bathroom door right now!"

Kelly: "NO!!!! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!"

Sandra: "I'm your mother. You have to follow the rules."

'''Jo: :Sandra was just negotiating with Kelly. So, I decided to step in and deal with the situation."'''

Jo: "Kelly. If you do not unlock the door by the time I count to three, I will be confiscating your Bratz dolls and I will be putting you into your bedroom where you will stay for the rest of the day. Trust me Kelly. I'm not joking. 1, 2, 2 and a half, 2 and three-quarters..."

Sandra: "Jo counted down to 3, but when we unlocked the door, Kelly wasn't there."

Jo: "Kelly!"

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen!"

[Sandra finds Kelly's clothes discarded on the floor]

Jo: "Kelly had snuck out of the bathroom through the window and she took off with her clothes off."

Kelly: "I WANT CRYSTAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!"

[We see a naked Kelly in the streets]

Sandra: "Kelly, come put your clothes back on. I am not happy!"

Some minutes later

Sandra: "I want you to apologize to me."

Kelly: "I'm sorry."

[Kelly and Sandra hug]

Toy Confiscation Box Technique
Jo: "Later that morning, Kelly decided to write on Mom's mirror with her lipstick."

[Kelly is in the bathroom with her mother's red lipstick, writing profanity on the mirror]

Kelly: "Die, you motherfucking bitch, die!"

[Matt walks past the bathroom and sees Kelly doing this]

Matt: "Mom! Kelly's writing on your mirror with your lipstick!"

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! I'm taking away your Bratz dolls and putting them in the Toy Confiscation Box."

[Kelly then kicks Matt's leg]

Kelly: "Snitch!"

Matt: Ow! Moooom! Kelly kicked me!"

Sandra: "Right. Now you've lost your Nintendo 3DS and it's going into the confiscation box."

[Kelly then smashes the mirror which causes Jo to step in]

Kelly: (to Sandra) "I hate you, Mom, and I wish you were dead!"

[Sandra and Jo gasp in shock]

Jo: "Kelly! Come here right now!"

[Kelly smacks Jo in the face]

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! That's it! Now I'm taking away all of your Monster High dolls and they are all going into the Toy Confiscation Box for the rest of the day!"

Kelly: "Don't care SANDRA!"

[Kelly flips off her mother]

Sandra: "All right, that does it. Now I'm taking away your bike!"

[Kelly throws the bike at Sandra before running off into the street, naked]

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen, come back here this instant! Get out of the street! NOW!"

Kelly: "SHUT UP!"

Jo: "Kelly just bolted down the street and Sandra just stood there. So, I said to her 'You've got to catch that girl.'"

Jo: "You've got to catch that girl."

Sandra: "After fifteen minutes, I FINALLY caught up with Kelly playing with Crystal."

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! You are coming back in the house this second!"

Kelly: "GET LOST!"

[Sandra brings a still naked Kelly back in the house]

Minutes later

Sandra: "I want you to say sorry."

Kelly: "Sorry."

[Kelly and Sandra hug]

Kelly's Dinner meltdown
[Sandra is fixing salmon for dinner]

Jo: "At dinner, Sandra fixed a lovely salmon. However, Kelly wanted chicken wedges."

Kelly: "Can't I have chicken wedges?"

Sandra: "No, we're having salmon, and that's that."

Kelly: (whining) "We never eat anything I want!!"

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen, stop your whining or I'm taking away your Ever After dolls."

[Kelly hits Sandra]

Sandra: "When Kelly hit me, I put her straight on the Naughty Couch."

[Sandra confiscates Kelly's Ever After dolls]

Sandra: "You do not hit me! That is not acceptable, now you stay on this couch and don't get up until I say so!"

[Kelly escapes and throws cushions at Sandra]

Sandra: "OW! Kelly!"

Jo: "Tell her in an authoritive voice that she must pick up those cushions as soon as she's finished the time out."

[6 minutes later]

Sandra: "Say sorry to me."

Kelly: "NO!!!"

Sandra: "Then you'll stay on this couch."

Jo: "An hour passed and Kelly was still resisting!"

[60 minutes later]

Kelly: "MOMMY IS A LIAR!!!"

Sandra: "Kelly..."

Kelly: "MOMMY IS A whore!"

[Sandra raises her voice]

Sandra: "KELLY ANN HANSEN!!!!"

Kelly: "WHAT IS IT? SANDRA MARIE HANSEN!!!!

Jo: "Finally, after an agonizing two hours, Sandra finally got an apology from Kelly."

Kelly: "I'm sorry, Mommy..."

Kelly vs. Jo
Jo: "Later on, Kelly wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese's with her friends."

Kelly: "Can I go to Chuck E Cheese's with Crystal, Mary-Michaela and Lauren please?"

Sandra: "Not today, because we are shopping for your sister's upcoming birthday party."

Kelly: "You always let Alison and Matt go with their friends! You're mean!"

Sandra: "Kelly..."

[Jo comes down to Kelly's level]

Jo: "Kelly, listen to me. You can't always be thinking about yourself; you need to help your mother pick out the stuff for your sister's birthday party."

Kelly: "Did I ask you? No, so shut up!"

Jo: "Stop that behavior, right now! If you continue being disrespectful and not doing as you are told, then I will place you onto the Naughty Couch. Do you understand me? That's your warning."

[Kelly hits Jo]

Jo: "Kelly decided to hit me, so I put her in time out."

Jo: "You are on the Naughty Couch because you are being very disrespectful towards me. Now you stay here."

[Kelly throws a pillow at Jo]

Jo: "Do not attack me with those pillows, otherwise I will extend your time to 12 minutes. Is that clear?"

Kelly: *sarcastically* "Yes Joanie!"

Jo: "12 minutes it is."

[Kelly throws another pillow at Jo as she walks away]

Kelly: "Stupid slut! I'd rather stay here until I die... or until the world comes to an end, whichever comes first!"

[Kelly then decides to escape outside]

Sandra: "When Kelly went outside, I thought 'here we go again!'"

Alison's Sweet 16 Birthday Disaster
Jo: "The next day was Alison's birthday, and she was having a Sweet 16 princess-themed party with her boyfriend Tyler and all of her friends from the school cheerleading team."

[Alison is wearing a shirt strapless silver sequined dress with a fuchsia pink sash around the waist]

Kelly: "This is boring. There are no boys at this stupid party!"

[One of Alison's friends, Donna gives Kelly a filthy look]

Donna: "Who is that annoying twerp?"

Alison: "My sister."

[Kelly kicks Donna]

Donna: "Ouch!!"

Sandra: "Kelly, you don't do that. That's not nice."

[Alison's boyfriend Tyler shows up]

Tyler: "Hey, babe. Happy Birthday! Sorry I'm late; there was traffic."

Kelly: "Hi Tyler!"

Tyler: "How's the party, Alison?"

Alison: "Great!"

[Kelly licks the pink frosting on Alison's birthday cake]

Sandra: "Kelly, leave that cake alone!"

[Kelly grabs the cake and smashes it in Donna's face]

Kelly: "That's for calling me a twerp!"

Jo: "Kelly, that was not nice. You don't treat your sister's guest that way."

Kelly: "But she called me a twerp."

Donna: "UGH!!! I'm leaving! Sorry Alison, but you're sister is a nightmare!"

Dining Out at a Restaurant
[The Hansen family are sitting down at a restaurant]

[The waiter brings steamed vegetables and lobster to Kelly, along with a small loaf of bread]

Sandra: "Kelly, I want you to eat 5 pieces of broccoli, and then you can have the bread."

Kelly: "I'm not eating that garbage!!!"

Sandra: (to Jo) "What do I do now? She's refusing to eat!"

Jo: "You tell her that she needs to eat 5 pieces of her broccoli. Any nonsense about that, and she will lose a privilege."

Kelly: "I HATE BROCCOLI!!!"

Sandra: "As soon as I knew Kelly was acting up, I wanted to cry, but I knew I had to be stronger than that."

Sandra: "Kelly..."

[Alison is having salmon and Matthew is having steak]

Alison: "Oh, no. This isn't good."

Matthew: "Tell me about it."

Kelly: "BROCCOLI SUCKS!"

[Kelly throws her broccoli at the waiter, and punches her plate over to another customer]

Waiter: "Ugh! Must every child I've come across be so aversive towards broccoli?"

[The waiter storms off]

[Everybody else at the restaurant looks at the family]

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen, I've had enough of your nonsense here. No computer tonight! We're going home."

Kelly turns over a new leaf
Kelly: "I want to write an apology letter because I am being snobby, stuck-up and misbehaving."

[We see Kelly writing an apology letter]