Birou Family Revisited/Transcript

Four years ago...
Announcer: "Four years ago, Orla was a terrible amok runner, and she was the worst child you could ever encounter..."

Orla: "I....HATE...CARROTS!!!!"

Nicole: "Orla...into the Naughty Pit! NOW!"

Orla: "BUT IT'S NOT THE FOOD THAT I LIKE!!!"

Nicole: "You lost trampoline time."

Announcer: "Mealtime was no better...especially the former tyke was a picky eater..."

Orla: "I WANT MY PIZZA!"

Announcer: "The former tyke deserved spankings for ruining the holidays..."

Nicole: "If I have to sizzle your rear to fix your attitude, then that's the way it's going to be..."

Announcer: "Such as a messed-up funeral for her grandfather..."

Nicole: "I am never taking you to another funeral, ever!"

Announcer: "Then, Orla came into none of that after..."

Orla: "Mummy...I'm gonna die...It hurts..."

And now...
[Time text saying "5 years ago"]

Nicole: "ORLA JASMINE BIROU!"

Aunty Carol: "My lord!"

Orla: "Ha ha! I am going to run across the street!"

Nicole: "Orla, those are the ashes of your grandfather!"

Orla: "Nicholas broke it! Punish him!"

[Time text saying "4 years ago"]

Nicole: "Orla Jasmine Birou! We are leaving!"

Orla: "I WISH YOU WERE DEAD, MUMMY! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!"

Orla: (singing) "Amazing Grace...How Sweet the Sound...That saved a wretch like me...I once was lost, but now am found...was blind, but now I see..."

Orla: (slurring) "I......om.....syyyyyyyyyyyk..." (Translated: I am sick.)

[Orla barfs]

[Orla nods]

Orla: "NO! I hate lettuce! It's yucky!"

Orla: "I...HATE...CARROTS!"

[Time text saying "3 years ago"]

Orla: "I shall shut you up with some sturdy duct tape!"

[The Theory of Nicole title screen displays]

[Time text saying "2 years ago"]

Nicole: "I'd like you to meet our two new twin sons, Brahm and Treat."

[Time text saying "1 year ago"]

Jo: "The Paci-Fairy is going to collect your binky to give it to the babies who need it."

[Time text saying "Right now"]

Long Time, No See
Jo: "Nicole, it's been a while. How are you?"

Nicole: "I'm doing good, thank you."

Jo: "How are you girls doing?"

Orla: "I'm doing fine, Jo-Jo...except for one thing,"

[Screams are heard in the background]

Kayla and Orla: "Treat and Brahm."

Orla: "Oh, it's so loud and noisy, it's driving Mom, Robert, Haidyn, Skyla, Kayla and me crazy!"

Treat: "I want my sucker!"

[Brahm screams]

Observation begins
Robert: "Brahm, Haidyn, Kayla, Orla, Skyla, Treat, time for church!"

Nicole: "Let's hop to it!"

Orla, Kayla, Haidyn, and Skyla: "OK!"

Treat: "I don't wanna go to church!"

Brahm: "Not me!"

Nicole: "Come on, boys! We need to go to church! Get dressed!"

Jo: "But the boys were having none of it."

Nicole: "Come on, we're gonna be late for church!"

Jo: "The boys' behaviors at Church and Sunday School were abysmal."

[The Birou Family are at church, sitting together]

[Brahm and Treat scream at the top of their lungs]

Brahm and Treat: "HI THERE (bleep) FACES YOU (bleep)ING PIECES OF (bleep)!"

Nicole: (whispering) "Boys, keep your voices down!"

[Orla, Kayla, Skyla, Haidyn, Brahm and Treat are in Sunday School]

Observation continues
Jo: "Later on, the family went to swim in the pool."

[Robert gets Brahm and Treat in their swim trunks while Nicole gets Haidyn, Kayla, Orla and Skyla in their swim suits]

Nicole: "Okay, guys. Are you ready to have fun?"

Orla, Haidyn, Skyla, and Kayla: "Yeah!"

[Brahm and Treat push Orla and Kayla in the pool]

Jo: "And then the boys pushed the girls into the pool."

[Treat and Brahm push Skyla and Haidyn into the pool]

Robert: "Girls, are you okay?"

[Brahm and Treat jump in the pool as if nothing happened]

Orla: "Yeah, I'm fine."

Kayla: "Me too."

Nicole: "Girls, what happened?"

Haidyn: "A SHARK! MOM, THERE'S A SHARK IN THE POOL!"

Nicole: "What the--?!"

[Brahm smacks Haidyn in the face, while Treat bites Orla's leg]

Orla: "Mom, a shark bit me!"

[Nicole looks at the water to notice Brahm and Treat]

Nicole: "Naughty boys!"

Jo: "It turned out that the so-called 'shark' were really the twin boys."

Robert: "What? What happened?"

Orla: "TREAT BIT ME!"

Skyla: "BRAHM PUSHED ME IN THE POOL!"

Haidyn: "BRAHM SMACKED ME!"

Kayla: "WE ALL GOT PUSHED IN THE POOL!"

Cut to:

Nicole: "Your behavior was embarrassing and appalling. From now on, you are not going swimming until you learn to behave and I am going to arrange two babysitters the next time we go places that is swimming-related. Instead of swimming, you are going to listen to the babysitters because your behavior was very appalling!"

Brahm and Treat: "Aw, man!"

House Rules
Jo: "We're going to introduce the boys the rules. Number one: no shrieking; number two: no pushing people in the pool; number three: use indoor voices..."

Naughty Pits
[Brahm and Treat work together scribbling pictures of someone resembling the parents and the girls being run over by a steamroller and some profane language with their crayons]

Orla: "Mom, the boys are coloring on the wall!"

Brahm: "YOU USED TO DO THAT STUFF TOO!"

[Nicole comes over to the direction]

Nicole: (gasps) "Look what you have done! You are going to the Naughty Pit, boys!"

Treat: "We aren't, stinker!"

[Nicole puts Brahm and Treat into their respective Naughty Pits and confiscates Brahm's Diego plush toy and Treat's Barney plush toy]

Nicole: "Your toys are in toy jail."

Snack Box Technique
Jo: "I wanted Nicole to clean out all the junk that the twins eat."

Nicole: "Okay."

[Nicole cleans out the pantry and cabinet]

Nicole: "Look at all the junk that the boys like to eat."

[Jo sees Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Skittles, jelly beans, Butterfingers, Twinkies, Suzie Q's, Starbursts, soda, energy drink, Almond Joys, Mounds, potato chips, Slim Jim's, Oreos, M&M's, Twizzlers and pork rinds]

Nicole: "I thought I banned these years ago."

Mommy & Me Technique
[Brahm, Haidyn, Kayla, Orla, Skyla and Treat are at the table making sculptures]

Nicole: "Do you wanna make some sculptures?"

Orla, Kayla, Skyla, Haidyn Brahm and Treat: "Yeah!"

Nicole: "Let's roll it like this, okay?"

Orla: "Mine's finished, mom! I made a unicorn!"

Nicole: "Oh, Orla! It's beautiful! I like it!"

Jo: "Orla made a unicorn, Skyla made a butterfly, Kayla made a mermaid, and Haidyn made a fairy."

Nicole: "Oh, girls. I love them. They're absolutely beautiful! I love them!"

Haidyn, Kayla, Orla and Skyla: "Thanks, mom!"

Jo: "As soon as the sculptures were finished and ready for display, Brahm and Treat destroyed them."

[Brahm and Treat destroy their older sisters' sculptures by disassebmbling the parts and throwing them out in the road outside]

Nicole: "Oh, no...what happened?"

[Orla sobs while holding her destroyed unicorn]

Orla: "Brahm destroyed my unicorn! I was going to paint it white and the mane purple as soon as it was dry."

Nicole: "Naughty boys! Naughty boys!"

Treat: (scoffs) "They're stupid sculptures!"

Nicole: "That is not nice! It's your butts in the Naughty Pits!"

Treat: (sneering) "They dare and they did."

Nicole: "I'm going to carry you to the Naughty Pits!"

[Nicole carries Treat and Robert carries Brahm to their persective Naughty Pits]

[Nicole confiscates Brahm's Geo plush doll and Treat's toy firetruck and deposits them into the toy time-out box]

Nicole: "You have been placed there because you destroyed the sculptures of your older sisters. In addition to that, your Geo and firetruck are both in toy jail."

Brahm: "I WANT GEO!!!!!"

Treat: "I WANT MY FIRETRUCK!!!!!"

Nicole: "You can have them back if you behave yourselves for the rest of the day,"

Treat: "YOU ALWAYS FAVOR ORLA, SKYLA, KAYLA AND HAIDYN!!!"

Nicole: "That's because they behave themselves, unlike you two."

Ask Supernanny
Jo: "Parents, when should you plan a child's birthday party?"

Haidyn's Birthday Party
Jo: "The next day was Haidyn's birthday party, and she was having a Spongebob-themed party with her friends from school, Sunday school and gymnastics class."

[Nicole and Robert decorate the backyard with Spongebob party decorations]

Robert: "Orla, Kayla, Haidyn and Skyla helped us out with the decorations. They even played the suitable music for the party."

[Spongebob music is playing in the background]

Nicole (dressed in an adult SpongeBob Babe costume plus size): I'll go and get the kids ready for the party."

[Nicole is in the living room, getting Brahm and Treat dressed in their SpongeBob costumes]

Nicole: "There, you look absolutely perfect! Now let's go join your sisters and your father."

[Nicole takes Brahm and Treat outside]

[Haidyn's friends arrive]

Mariah: "Hi, Haidyn! How are you?"

Haidyn: "I'm doing fine, Mariah."

Mariah: "Amber, Allison, Rachel, Izzy, Hannah, Yuki, Danielle, Natalie, Imogen and Amy are coming too."

[Amber, Amy, Allison, Danielle, Hannah, Izzy, Imogen, Natalie, Rachel and Yuki arrive]

Robert (dressed in an adult Spongebob Squarepants costume): "Look, Haidyn. Your friends are here."

Danielle (dressed in a child-sized Spongebob Squarepants girl costume): "What should we do first?"

Haidyn: "How about the Spongebob 5-in-1 combo my stepdad rented?"

Izzy: "Sounds good!"

Jo: "At first, everything turned out fine."

[Treat puts fireworks into the Spongebob cake]

Jo: "Until Treat decided to put fireworks into the Spongebob cake, which exploded."

[The Spongebob birthday cake explodes all over everybody]

Nicole: "Oh, my god!"

[Orla goes over to the buffet table to have a Krabby Patty, but to find the Krabby Patties missing]

Orla: "Mom, Plankton has stolen the Krabby Patties and he's going to steal the Krabby Patty formula!"

Nicole: "What? The Krabby Patties are gone?"

[Nicole finds a few crumbs on the Krabby Patty plate]

Nicole: "Hmmm, if I were 'Plankton', where would I stash those Krabby Patties?"

Guest's parent: "I bought a spare cake."

[Brahm and Treat smashes the cake at Nicole's face]

Nicole: "Naughty boys!"

Robert: "Hey, where are the Krabby Patties? Did Plankton manage to steal them in hopes to get the Krabby Patty recipe?"

[Nicole lifts the tablecloth up and looks under the table, and finds Brahm and Treat gobbling up Krabby Patties]

Nicole: "What are you boys doing?"

Brahm: "Eating Krabby Patties."

Nicole: "What did I specifically tell you about not messing up her party?!"

Treat: "Plankton sent us to do it."

[Brahm belches]

[Treat burps]

Nicole: "You've ruined your appetite for dinner."

Reward Chart
Jo: "I'm now introducing the Reward Chart to you, boys."

Onward
Jo: "The next day, the family went to Sea World."

Orla: "Look, mom! I want to go see the orca!"

Nicole: "Okay, let's go see the orca show."

[The family are watching an orca show]

Robert: "Here comes Shamu, kids."

[Shamu appears from the water and splashes about]

Everyone: "WOW!!!" [applauds]

Nicole: "Robert, where are Treat and Brahm?"

[Robert notices the boys missing]

Kayla/Orla: "Mom, Robert, look!"

Robert: "What the...?"

Nicole: "Oh, my goodness."

Epic Tantrum
Treat: "Mummy, can we have Burger King Kids' meals?"

Brahm: "We want cheeseburgers, French fries, and coca cola!"

Nicole: "Not tonight! We are going to have salad with chicken!"

[Treat starts bawling]

Brahm: "But, we don't like that food!"

Nicole: "You boys are going to eat what we are having and that's that."

[Brahm stabs Nicole with a fork]

Nicole: "No! You do not stab mommy with a fork!"

[Brahm tosses one of his shoes to the pot where all the salad and chicken falls out]

Nicole: "You know what, you will be going to the Naughty Pit, Brahm!"

[Robert sends Brahm to the Naughty Pit]

[Brahm hits Robert's leg]

Robert: "Brahm Allan Jennings! You do not punch dad's leg!"

Brahm: "I...HATE...SALAD!"

Orla: "Mealtimes are such a nightmare, especially with my little brothers. It's so embarrassing to go out to dinner because of the way they act in public."

[Orla retreats to her room to start her spelling homework]

Kayla: "Orla, are you okay in there?"

Orla: "Yeah, I'm fine. Those boys are driving me crazy."

[Robert deposits Treat into the Naughty Pit]

Robert: "You boys are sitting in time-out because you didn't listen to mommy when she asked you to eat your dinner."

[Robert walks away and sets the timer]

Nicole: "Where's Orla?"

Robert: "The drama was too much for her, so she went upstairs to start her spelling homework, I think."

Nicole: "And Kayla?"

Robert: "She went up to check on her sister."

[Brahm and Treat escape their Naughty Pits and run into Orla's bedroom, snatching Orla's spelling homework from her]

Orla: "Hey! Come back here with my homework!"

[Orla chases the boys]

Orla: "MOM! They got my spelling homework!"

Treat: "Can't catch us, Smelly!"

[Treat and Brahm run into the bathroom and lock the door]

Orla: "MOM!"

[Nicole appears in the hallway]

Nicole: "Boys, open this door and give your sister back her homework!"

Brahm: "NO!"

Orla: "I have a huge spelling test tomorrow! Please give it back!"

The twins VS the babysitters
Jo: "The family is going out to the lake, and Nicole has confirmed that she would arrange two young babysitters for the boys, and she did. What was going on, was making the two babysitters' lives miserable."

[Orla comes out with a Tangled bathing suit on]

Nicole: "I arranged Melissa and Liz. They are in the same family as Diana. Melissa and Liz are two of the seventh vigintuplet sisters. I've noticed the family has over 10 sets of vigintuplets. I've also noticed that Jo arranged babysitters from the same family."

[Kayla comes out with a Disney Princess bathing suit on]

Kayla: "Where's Haidyn?"

Haidyn: "I'm here"

Robert: "Is everybody ready to go?"

Treat: "Why do we have to be stuck at home with Dumb and Dumber!"

[Melissa and Liz look offended but don't say anything]

Nicole: "The list of emergency numbers is on the refrigerator, and their naptime is at 2:15pm."

Melissa: "Okay."

Nicole: "Their lunches are steamed pita chicken tacos with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, and fajitas."

Robert: "The taco bar is over there. See you guys at 4:00pm."

Treat: "Can we have burger king kids' meals for lunch?"

Brahm: "We want cheeseburgers, french fries, and coca cola!"

Melissa: "No, Treat and Brahm."

Brahm: "WE WANT BURGER KING! WE WANT IT!"

Melissa: "Your mother said, you are NOT having burger king kids' meals, Treat and Brahm. You are having a steamed pita chicken taco with vegetables!"

[Brahm punches Melissa in the face]

Melissa: "Brahm, it is unacceptable to punch me in the face."

[Treat bites Melissa's arm]

Melissa: "OUCH!!! Liz, can you help me?"

[Liz confiscates the twins' toys and puts them into the toy time-out box]

[Treat pees in the hallway]

[Brahm pees on the Mario statue]

[Treat pees on the Master Hand statue]

[Brahm and Treat run outside and climb on Skyla's trampoline]

[Brahm and Treat jump up and down on the trampoline]

[Liz confiscates Brahm's Raggedy Ann Doll and Treat's Barney and Treat's Voodoo Doll and deposits them into the toy-time out box]

10 minutes later

[Treat and Brahm climb off the trampoline, climb on their tricycles and ride to the park playground]

Melissa: "Hey, where do you boys think you are going?"

Treat: "Goodbye, you stupid (bleep)!"