Beauregard Family/Transcript

Tonight on Supernanny
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Melissa: "YOU ALWAYS FAVOR JENNIFER MORE THAN ME AND DIANA!!!!"

Announcer: "Jo meets the Beauregard family."

Diana: "YOU ARE DUMB!"

Submission Reel
Jo: "You are with me in Miles City, Montana, ready to help a single mother. Let's take a peek."

???: "Hi, we're the Beauregard Family! I'm Violet, and I'm a single divorced mom. I have three girls, Melissa, aged 16, Diana, aged 12 and Jennifer aged 6 and will soon be turning 7."

Violet: "Jennifer is the only one in this family, who is 100% well behaved."

Violet: "My former husband "

[We see a picture of Violet's former husband ]

Violet: "Melissa has been expelled from school for setting it on fire and Diana is on the edge of getting expelled from her second school."

Violet: "We've tried Military School in London, Behavior Modification Camp in Oregon, Boot Camp and the Theraputic Boarding School in Utah for both girls and Teen Camp for Melissa, but nothing worked out for those two. I even tried Nanny 911, but Diana and Melissa drove Nanny Yvonne away."

Jo Arrives at the Beauregard Doorstep
[Jo arrives at a three-story house]

[Jo rings the doorbell]

Violet: "Hi Jo, how are you doing? I'm Violet."

AM Morning
Violet: "Have a good day in school, Jennifer!"

Jo: "It didn't take me long to realize that Melissa and Diana were the main problem in the household."

Melissa: "YOU ALWAYS FAVOR JENNIFER MORE THAN YOU DO ME AND DIANA!!!"

Jo: "Melissa complained that she was jealous of Jennifer since Violet liked her better than her and Diana."

Violet: "Unlike the two of you, Jennifer has good behavior."

Violet: "When Melissa or Diana say that I favor Jennifer more than I do with them, it just breaks my heart."

Melissa: "IT'S ALWAYS WHAT JENNIFER WANTS! WHEN WE WANT TO DO SOMETHING, IT'S 'NO, NO, NO, NOT TODAY!'!!! Jenifer is such a goody-goody. What so great about being good, anyway?"

Diana: "YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT US MOM!!!! YOU NEVER DO!!!"

Violet: "Jennifer is well-behaved, unlike you."

PM Afternoon
Jo: "After the girls are upstairs in their bedrooms, I decided to sit down to have a nice, friendly chat with Violet about the girls."

Jo: "Tell me about your oldest girls' behaviors."

Violet: "Well, Jo, I'm afraid to tell you that my oldest girls Melissa and Diana were expelled from one school each, but Diana is on the edge of getting kicked out of her second school. Melissa was expelled from Custer County District High School for setting the entire school on fire with a match. The reason why she did that because she was upset that she didn't get the part in the school play called In the Woods. When I arrived to collect her after I recieved a phone call from her principal, I noticed that the cops were everywhere. That young lady was so lucky that she didn't get sent to jail for arson and so I decided to send her to Teen Camp until I can find her another school to attend. After I found Melissa another school to attend I recieved a phonecall from the two principals Sheila and Mark saying that Melissa took off with her boyfriend named Francis. And Diana was kicked out of Riverview School for gossiping and is now on the brink of getting kicked out of her second school for stealing."

Jo: "Has any holiday been ruined?"

Violet: "Well, Melissa and Diana ruined Halloween. They bought a dynamite on eBay and used that to blow up Mrs Lacey's car. They also vandalized the neighborhood by TP'ing the neighbors' houses and trees, throwing large chunks of stones at windows and blowing up jack-o-lanterns. The poor woman was so upset that she has moved out of Miles City altogether. Not only that, Diana ate all of Jennifer's candy which she brought home from trick or treating while Melissa broke all of my Flavorstone cookware appliances by melting them in a fire she lit in the backyard and I tried to put the fire out with the fire extinguisher and so I had to buy some new cookware appliances."

Jo: "Oh, dear."

Violet: "And Thanksgiving was a complete disaster. Melissa didn't even spend Thanksgiving with the family as she DECIDED to spend it with her best friend Jessica Spano! Diana whined and complained that the turkey was dry and not real. Her exact words were: 'I want REAL turkey not PROCESSED turkey'. Diana then ruined the night by having a food fight with her cousins. As you can see, my former husband's side of the family is Italian and the main culprits were Mary, Giovanni, Francesca and Megan. Then just after Thanksgiving, my grandfather's funeral was ruined, that's my mom's father because Diana took a dump in the casket and she and Melissa caused a riot."

Jo: "Oh my."

Violet: "And Christmas was totally ho-ho-horrible. You see, Melissa, Diana, Jennifer and I were at my parents house for the holidays. When we went Christmas shopping, Diana and Melissa were caught shoplifting hundreds of dollars of merchandise. Two days before Christmas Eve, my cousin Fauna was getting married to her boyfriend named Ethan who lives in Atlanta, Georgia and the lucky Jennifer got to play one of the flower girls and she and Fauna are so close to each other."

[We see a picture of Jennifer and Fauna on her wedding day which Violet took with her camera]

[Cut back to Violet talking]

Violet: "But Melissa and Diana ruined Fauna's wedding by speaking out during the ceremony, smashing the wedding cake into Ethan and telling the DJ to change the music. Then on the day of Christmas, Melissa and Diana only found coal in their stockings and they each got nothing but notes from the angry Santa Claus as their Christmas presents. And they began to get revenge on Jennifer for being the only one who got presents and Melissa threw a chair, knocking a Christmas tree over Jennifer and then they stole all their cousins' presents before Diana hits Jennifer's head with a wooden hammer, luckily her skull wasn't broken and Melissa repeatedly beats Jennifer across her face with a hard book. So I had to bring Jennifer into casualty to get her treated. After Jennifer and I got back from casualty and got her a treat from the toy store, the Christmas Dinner, which my mother made was ruined, courtesy of those two ungrateful twits, because they brought in the neighbor's dogs."

Jo: "Oh, how horrible."

Violet: "And New Year's Eve was an absolute disgrace. Melissa decided to throw this wild party without my permission while Jennifer and I went to my parents house for dinner. At about 10:30pm, I got a call from the police saying that Melissa and her party guests were under the infulence of alcohol and drugs. I was so ashamed. And what was Diana doing? Oh yes, Diana decided to go for a joyride on Mr Parker's motorcycle around the town and ended up going to hospital suffering a gravel rash. She's lucky that Mr Parker didn't press charges and so I made her and Melissa miss the ball drop at Times Square in New York City on TV. And as a result of ruining both Christmas and the New Year, I decided to send them straight to Military School in London."

Jo: "That's the worst way to celebrate New Years. How did the Military School in London work out?"

Violet: "Not so well. I was playing video games with Jennifer until the phone rang and the principal Sgt. Melissa Patrick called to say that Melissa and Diana were monsters. So I left Jennifer with my parents while I flew to London to bring her sisters back home."

Jo: "Oh."

Violet: "And Easter was a living nightmare caused by Melissa and Diana themselves. The girls and I were at my parents' house for the Easter party and they attacked the Easter bunny who came to visit. They also ruined the Easter egg hunt and started the color splash fight while Jennifer and her cousins were painting the eggs."

Jo: "My word."

Violet: "And they also ruined 4th of July by causing havoc at the 4th of July picnic we went to. They threw food at the other guests, ran around the park naked. The security guards caught both of them. They were returned to me and that night, the two were setting off fireworks toward the ground and caused a fire. Therefore, the police took them to prison for a month for causing a fire that damaged some of the homes."

Jo: "I can only imagine."

Violet: "And Groundhog Day was destroyed because the girls killed the poor groundhog with lethal weapons."

Jo: "Poor thing."

Violet: "And they even lacerated Jennifer with a knife they used to kill the groundhog. As a result of Jennifer's laceration, I angrily sent those two beasts straight to a Theraputic Boarding School in Utah for very naughty children while Jennifer is still recovering in hospital. My parents looked after Jennifer in hospital while I dropped Melissa and Diana off to a Therapeutic boarding school."

Jo: "And how did the therapeutic boarding school work out for you?"

Violet: "While I was staying with Jennifer at the hospital, my dad received a phone call from the principal of the therapeutic boarding school saying that Melissa and Diana were completely out of control. So dad called me on the phone in Jennifer's hospital room that I must pick up those two and he stayed with Jennifer while my mom drove me to Utah to get them."

Jo: "Oh, my word."

???: "Come on, hurry, Melissa and Diana!"

Melissa: "Coming, Jessica! Come on, Diana."

Diana: "See you later, losers!!!"

Jo: "My word, who is that girl?"

Violet: "Oh, that's Jessica. She is much older than Melissa and Diana. Believe me, Jessica is bad news. Also, Melissa has a boyfriend named Francis who is older than her."

Dinnertime
Diana: "Can Melissa and I have some Wonka bars, please?"

Violet: "No, sweetie, we're going to begin to make and have dinner soon."

Melissa: "But mom, "

Violet: "You can have them after dinner is over."

[Violet is cooking dinner]

Diana: "What's for dinner, anyway?"

Time to Go Shopping
Violet: "And then after dinner, I decided to take Melissa and Diana out to pick and buy some birthday presents for Jennifer, who will be turning 7 soon."

Violet: "Have fun with Charlotte, Jennifer!"

Jennifer: "I will!"

[Violet, Melissa, Diana and Jo arrive at the mall]

[Diana shoplifts a pair of earrings]

[Melissa shoplifts a necklace]

[Diana shoplifts a pair of ray bans]

Violet: "What are you doing?"

[Two security guards approach Melissa and Diana]

Security Guard 1: "Ladies, I need to examine your pockets real quick."

The Phone Call
[Nicole is on the computer while Kayla and Orla are working on a science project]

Nicole: "Hello, who's calling?"

Violet: "Violet Beauregard, single divorced mom of three girls, Melissa aged 16, Jennifer aged 6 going on 7 soon and Diana aged 12 who is on the edge of getting expelled from her second school."

Nicole: "What's been going on with them?"

Violet: "Well, Nicole, Jennifer is the only one who is a 100% well behaved in my family but Melissa and Diana are not. They were always bullying my little Jenny and Melissa got into alcolholic drinks, got expelled from school for setting it on fire and Diana "

Nicole: "Well, as far as I'm concerned, Melissa and Diana will have to go in the Calm Zone if they continue being naughty. Melissa will stay in the Calm Down Zone for 16 minutes and Diana, 12 minutes. Have you got it in your head, Violet?"

Violet: "Got it!"

Nicole: "Good girl, Violet. I hope you'll enjoy your new discipline techniques."

Violet: "Thanks Nicole!"

House Rules
Jo: "This family needed some rules in this house."

Jo: "Rule number 1 - Always respect others."

Diana: *scoffs* "Yeah right."

Violet: "Diana, shhh."

Jo: "Rule number 2 - Be home on time."

Melissa: "Kill me now!"

Jo: "Rule number 3 - No violence towards others."

[Jennifer smiles]

Jo: "Rule number 4 - No swearing."

[Melissa rolls her eyes]

Jo: "And finally, rule number 5 - Always sit down at the table to eat."

Calm Down Zone
Jennifer: "MOMMY!"

Violet: " "

Dinnertime
Jo: "When Violet returned home from collecting Jennifer from school, she found Melissa and Diana eating Kentucky Fried Chicken and two cheeselovers pizzas from Pizza Hut."

Violet: "Where did you get this junk?"

Melissa: "We got it from KFC and Pizza Hut."

Violet: "How did you pay for all of this?"

Diana: "We ordered it via the phone and payed it on the credit card."

Diana's Parent-Teacher Conference
Jo: "Diana is on the edge of getting expelled from her second school for stealing, so Violet went to a parent-teacher conference."

Violet: "Ms. Barsi and Principal Carsley. How are you doing?"

[Violet shakes Ms. Barsi and Principal Carsley's hands]

Violet: "This is the lady who helped me discipline Diana. I'd like you to meet Jo Frost."

[Jo shakes Ms. Barsi and Principal Carsley's hands]

[Jo, Violet, Ms. Barsi and Principal Carsley sit around the table]

Violet: "So, what's this about? Has Diana been stealing again?"

Ms. Barsi: "Well, yes."

Violet: "What did she steal?"

Principal Carsley: "She stole snacks and sodas from the vending machine."

Ms. Barsi: "She also stole my iPad."

Thought Box
Jo: "I explained the Thought Box technique for Jennifer to share her personal opinions on her family."

Jo: "Jennifer, this is the Thought Box. You can write your own opinions on these little pieces of paper and insert them in the box. Who would you like to share your opinions on?"

Jennifer: "Melissa. She is a bully to me in my opinion. She is so naughty that it's driving me and mommy nuts! I wish I was on vacation without her and Diana!"

One day till Jennifer's Party
Violet: "What theme do you want to have this year?"

Jennifer: "I want a Bratz themed party this year."

Violet: "Great choice! I'll phone your teacher and the girls' mothers and tell them what theme you're having."

On the day of Jennifer's Party
[Jennifer is dressed in a Bratz Cat Costume]

Violet: "We had a mini-makeover, a fashion contest. Each girl was given some lip gloss, eye shadow, hair glitter, blush and body glitter. The girls got to make their own body glitter using fine polyester glitter and clear aloe Vera gel, mixing them together in a cosmetic jar for them to take home as a momento."

Joanna: "NO, MY CAKE!"

Violet: "What's going on?"

Melissa: "Are you ready, guys? Aim... FIRE!!!!"

Jennifer: "Melissa, Diana, what are you doing?"

[The party guests and their parents scream and run away to their cars]

Jennifer: "Wait, come back! The party's not over yet!"

Jo "MELISSA AND DIANA, GET BACK IN TO THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND GET YOUR CLOTHES ON!"

Violet: "As for you, Jessica and Francis, I will call your parents to take you home!"

[Jo and Violet drag Melissa and Diana back indoors and put them in the Calm Down Zone]

[Violet phones Jessica and Francis' parents to take them home]

Violet: "I SAID WRITE AN ESSAY!!!!!"

Violet: "NOW!!!!!!!!"

Party Aftermath
Jennifer: "I hate Melissa *sob* and Diana and their friends."

Violet: "I'll get your wet dress off and give you a nice hot bath and get you some hot chocolate, okay?"

[Later Violet is childing Melissa and Diana]

Violet: "Now work on your 200 word essay based on the errors of your ways."

[Melissa and Diana reluctantly do as they are told and begin writing their essays and apology letters under Jo's supervision]

Melissa and Diana vs. the Babysitter
Jo: "At home, the girls stayed home with a young babysitter named Charlotte Dumais while Violet was going to meet a man she'd met on an online dating service."

Violet: "I would like to introduce you to some new things that Jo has given me."

Charlotte: "Okay. What are they? I'll have to write them down in my babysitting notebook."

Violet: "Okay, Charlotte, if Melissa and Diana misbehave, give them a warning and if they carry on, you will put them in the Calm Down Zone."

Charlotte: "Where's the Calm Down Zone?"

[Violet shows Charlotte the Calm Down Zone]

Violet: "Melissa will stay in here for 16 minutes and Diana, 12 minutes."

[Charlotte writes down all the information in her babysitting notebook]

Violet: "Now, Dinner Time is at 4:00pm, Diana's Homework Time is at 6:00pm, Jennifer's bathtime is at 8:00pm and her bedtime is at 9.00pm and both Melissa and Diana will have to be in bed at 9:30pm."

[Violet hands Charlotte a long list of emergency numbers]

Violet: "And here's a list of everything else."

Melissa: "It's not fair, I'm not a little kid anymore, Mom!"

Family Update
Violet: "After Jo was gone, I think that we are now a happy family. "