Ridley Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Canoe Killer #1: "phphph...Yeah right...it's nothing."

Canoe Killer #2: "Yer whore daughter was no good at all."

Announcer: "For the first time ever, Jo visits a family on special guests."

Canoe Killer #3: "SHUT UP, COCKSUCKER!"

Canoe Killer #4: "You said it."

Canoe Killer #5: "Yer fucking parents were no good at all."

Announcer: "...that killed the family's parents three years ago in a tragic canoe crash..."

Canoe Killer #6: "Ah, SHUT UP!"

[Canoe Killer #7 points a gun at Jo]

Announcer: "Can Jo send the Canoe Killers away?"

[the police handcuff the canoe killers]

Announcer: "Or will the Canoe Killers send Jo away?"

Canoe Killers #3 and #8: (sneering) "We dare and we did."

Cameron: "They even tried to kill me and Lilly."

Submission Reel
Jo: "I am at Madison, Wisconsin and I am here to visit two grandparents and their grandchildren. Let's take a look."

Jim: "I'm Jim, I'm 62."

Caroline: "And I'm Caroline, 67. We have granchildren: Cameron and Lilly, who are 10 and 7 respectively."

Jim: "Their parents died from a canoe crash three years ago."

Cameron: "We relocated dozens of times to get away from that awful violent gang!"

Ridley Family Issues
Canoe Killer #4: "Grow up, you ungrateful piece of shit!"

Lilly talks to Jo
Lilly: "I miss my mommy and daddy." (cries)

Jo: "And how does that make you feel?"

Cameron: "I must avenge my parents and fight criminals, just like Batman!"

Cameron's part
Cameron: "Canoe Killers, why on earth would you kill my parents in a tragic boat crash? And why would you threaten to murder us? I just want to be a regular 10-year old boy and go to school."

Canoe Killer #11: "Right now, the way you are treating us like is pissing me off! You are in no position to speak to me like that, dickface! You are to do as what I fucking well told you to do, bitch! And who's responsibility is that they are losing his parents and becoming an orphan? YOURS AND YER SISTER'S! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT OR STAY AT YOUR OWN RISK, ASSHOLE!"

Jo: "I was extremely livid! When I saw what a Canoe Killer was saying to Cameron, and when I saw Cameron was crying from upstairs, I stepped in and gave a very calm talking to him."

Canoe Killer #18: "Crying your fucking head off won't put your appalling parents back to life!"

Canoe Killer #1: "Dead-Eye Dennis is the name, shortstack. I'm the leader of this here gang. I was known as Dennis J. Norrison, the Canoeing champion, until yer father came along and stole that championship title from me, by defeating me in a canoeing race! I vowed revenge that day."

Announcer: "Coming up on Supernanny...Jo confronts each and every Canoe Killer."

Cameron's part Part 2
[Canoe Killers 1 and 4 tie Cameron up]

Canoe Killer 4: "Shall we gag him?"

Canoe Killer 1: "With what?"

[Canoe Killer 4 brings out the duct tape]

Cameron: *crying* Please...

[Canoe Killer 4 tapes Cameron's mouth shut]

Canoe Killer 1: "Remove his socks!"

[Canoe Killer 4 removes Cameron's socks and uses one of them to blindfold him]

Canoe Killer 1: "Now, drag him to the bed!"

[Canoe Killer 4 drags Cameron to the bed]

Canoe Killer 1: "We're going to have fun with you!"

Cameron: "MMMMMMMPPPPPPHHHH!"

[Jo barges in]

Jo: "That is quite enough!"

The family's worst moment ever
Canoe Killer #14: "I don't give a shit, asshole!"

[Canoe Killer #10 points a gun at Caroline]

Canoe Killer #6: (to Caroline) "Yer know, yer daughter was no good at all. And it's a lot better that she died when she did, or else she'd have been jailed or hung! She beat me in an archery championship tournament!"

Canoe Killer #16: (to Cameron) "Halt!"

Canoe Killer #9: "Stop!"

Canoe Killer #5: (to Lilly) "Yer know, yer fucking parents were no good at all. And it's a lot fucking better that they fucking died when they fucking did, or else they would be fucking jailed or fucking hung!"

Jo: "I was livid! The canoe killers were being selfish!"

Jim: "Right now, the way you're treating me is (bleep)ing me off! How dare you kill our daughter like that?"

Canoe Killers #3 and #8: (sneering) "We dare and we did."

[Canoe Killer #7 points an Uzi at Jo]

Canoe Killer #7: "SHUT UP! NOW SUFFER THAT WRATH!"

Jo: "Wait a second. You guys have killed Cameron and Lily's parents 3 years ago. This behavior must stop!"

Canoe Killer #15: "Shut up, you cunt!"

Jo: "You said the meanest bad word in the whole wide world."

Canoe Killer #1: "Do you know who I am? I am Dead-Eye Dennis, the canoe racing champion, but I used to be until their good-for-nothing folks came along and stole my championship title from me!"

Canoe Killer #13: "We don't fucking care!"

Failed Attempt to Reformed the Canoe Killers part 1
Canoe Killer #5: "Where are you taking us?!"

Jo: "To an Orphanage!"

[Jo travels to the orphanage house]

4-year old Little Girl: "My uncle was put in a forest when he was 18. He gets treated badly."

Jo: "I'm so sorry for him."

[Canoe Killer #4 puts a bottomless cage under Little Girl]

Canoe Killer #4: "Caught you!"

Jo: "You don't need to catch her. Release her!"

Canoe Killer #20: "I don't give a shit!"

Jo: "Let her go, or you will be in big trouble!"

[Little girl kicks Canoe Killer #4 in the crotch, scratches his arm and runs off to tell the orphanage keeper]

Canoe Killer #20: "Dirty Dan, are you all right?"

Canoe Killer #4 (Now known as Dirty Dan): "She's gotten away, Blackbeard Joe."

The canoe killers get their comeuppance
Announcer: "Coming up on Supernanny...Police arrive at the Ridley doorstep."

Police Officer Moore: "We got this place surrounded!!! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!!!

[Dead-Eye Dennis takes Lilly hostage]

Dead-Eye Dennis: "Stay there, or she's dead meat!"

The canoe killers are arrested
[The police handcuff the canoe killers]

Police officer: "We've been after these guys for years, especially their leader, Dead-Eye Dennis. This brutal leader swore vendetta on Lilly and Cameron's father after losing his championship title to him."

[The police takes the canoe killers away]