Spotlow-Garbiel Family Halloween 2030

A few weeks before Halloween
Nicolette: "Who do you want to be for Halloween, you guys?"

[David gets out a Wishcraft by Chasing Fireflies magazine]

Nicolette: "Oh, Frank, It's your turn to pick out the candy we give to the trick-or-treaters."

Frank: "Thanks Mom."

Bridget: "No Mars can---"

Frank: "Did mom say you can, let me answer that, NO!"

Bridget: "Okay, fine!"

Shopping for Halloween candy
Bridget: "Let's not buy Mars Candy, because it contains yucky stuff such as bones, cartilage, bugs and mashed-up cow skin. I found out about that at the after-school PETA KiDS meeting."

Frank: "Do you always believe everything that baloney PETA says to you?"

Bridget: "Let's see, do they have any animal-friendly candy in this section? Yes, they do! They have the Lemonheads, Mambas, Now and Later, Hubba Bubba bubblegum, Airheads taffy, Dem Bones, Smarties, Cry Babies, Mary Janes, Blow Pops, Sour Patch Kids, Dots, Fireballs, Charms lollipops, Cracker Jack, Pez, Jujyfruits, Jujubees, Tropical Source mini chocolate bags, Goldenberg's Peanut Chews, Ring Pop lollipops, Jolly Ranchers lollipops and hard candy, Brach's Cinnamon Hard Candy, Dum-Dums, Super Bubble, Swedish Fish, Twizzlers and Zotz! It's perfect!"

Frank: "Not everything can be the way you want it! MOM SAID I CAN DECIDE WHICH CANDY WE BUY! YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF THIS FAMILY ANYWAY!"

Nicolette: "I agree with your brother, It's Frank's turn to decide the candy for the trick or treaters this year, not every candy we buy cannot be the way you want it."

Bridget: (sighs) "Fine..."

Frank: "Let me pick Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bars, Jelly beans...."

Bridget: (as Frank is explaining) "Whatever."

Trick or Treating
Nicolette: "Are you ready to go trick or treating?"

Andi: (Dressed in a Minnie Mouse costume) "Yes!"

David: "Frank, time to go!"

Frank: (Dressed in an Olie Polie costume) "I'd rather watch Rolie Polie Olie while listening to Eminem!"

Nicolette: "You do not have a choice! We are doing this as a family."

Frank: "Fine, I'll be right downstairs."

David: "We expect to be out the door in no more than two minutes."

The family is out trick-or-treating
[The Spotlow-Gabriel family comes over to the neighbor's house, Bridget's friend Lois is with them, Jason's friend Corey is with them and Andi's friend Sharpay is with them]

[Bridget is carrying a coffee can of loose change meant to be donations for a local animal shelter so that the shelter can buy treats for homeless dogs and cats as part of the PETAKiDS Halloween mission]

[Sharpay is collecting donations for collecting change in a coffee can to save big cats from extinction via causeanuproar.org]

[Jason, Andi, Corey and Lois have small boxes to carry donations to UNICEF]

[Andi rings the doorbell, and a neighbor answers]

Andi,Jason,and Bridget,Lois,Corey,and Sharpay: "Trick-or-treat!"

Frank: "Trick or suck my (bleep)!"

David: "WHAT DID YOU SAY FRANK?"

Frank: "I SAID TRICK OR SUCK MY (bleep)!"

Neighbor: (ignoring Frank's rude remark) "What a lovely surprise! Would you like some treats? I have some turkey jerky and beef jerky, all packed with protein!"

[Frank takes off his Olie Polie costume and runs around naked]

David: "Francis, you get back here and put your costume back on, right now mister!"

Frank: "But it's making me itch and it's giving me a rash!"

Bridget: "I really don't like the Mars candy company because I found out about something at the PeTA KiDS meeting a few weeks ago-some of the Mars Candy fund deadly animal testing for their candy, even though the tests are not required by law! And some of the candy contains stuff like mashed-up cow skin, cartilage, bones and even bugs! Gross!"

Frank: (scoffs) "Does Bridget have to believe everything that PeTA baloney tells her?"

Bridget: "Excuse me, but PETA is so important!"

Frank: "No it's not, besides, they are liars."

Nicolette: "That group is trying to confuse you or even scare you into believing what they want you to believe."

Bridget: "My science teacher, Mr. Ernest showed us the video in class."

David: "That settles it, tomorrow morning we will have a little talk with her teacher."

The family returns home
[Nicolette, Bridget, Andi, Jason, Corey, Sharpay, Lois, and Frank are watching a Spongebob Squarepants episode, "Scaredy Pants"]

Nicolette: "This episode is really old."

[David is inspecting the kids' treats, only to find out all the treats are gone]

David: "Hey, where are all the treats?"

[Frank turns off the TV and the power]

[Frank smashes the TV with an aluminum baseball bat]

[Frank flushes 5 cell phones down the toilet]

[Frank turns all the electronics into goners]

[Frank pees and takes dumps on the streets]

Nicolette: "Oh, my god!"

[Frank whacks Andi with a sledgehammer]

Andi: (crying) "MOMMY! HELP ME!"

[Frank stabs Andi with a knife]

Andi: (crying) "MOMMY!"

Nicolette: "Andi, what's the matter, sweetie?"

[Frank gets the lighter]

[Andi's clothes catch on fire]

Andi: (screaming and crying and running around) "MOMMY!"

Bridget: "Andi! Stop, drop, and roll!"

[Andi stops, drops, and rolls over]

[Andi cries in pain]

Andi: "Mommy...I'm dying..."

Nicolette: "David, you look after Andi while I call 911!"

[Nicolette calls 911]

Nicolette: "Hello, 911. This is Nicolette Spotlow speaking."

911 Dispatcher: "Ok. The police will arrive ASAP. We will summon an ambulance ASAP."

Frank: "Kiss my (bleep) and eat nutstraps, (bleep)!!

[Frank turns back on the power]

Elapsed time: 9:26 ~ 9:30

Policeman: "Excuse me. Are you Frank Malcolm Spotlow-Garbiel?"

Frank: "GET THE (bleep) OUT OR SUCK MY (bleep)!"

Policeman: "Okay then. There will be backup ASAP."

[Policeman leaves]

Elapsed time: 19:02 ~ 19:06

[The policeman is back with 10 more police officers along with the SWAT team]

Policewoman: "FREEZE, PUNK!"

[The policeman handcuffs Frank]

Frank: "SUCK MY (bleep)!"

Policeman: "You are under arrest for attempted murder, nudity, abusive language towards a police officer, and especially for vandalism.  Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law."

Frank: "EAT ME, (bleep)!"

Policeman: "You have the right to remain silent."

Cut to:

[Frank is in the back of the police car]

Cut to:

[Andi is laying in a hospital bed]

Andi: "Mama...Mama..."

Nicolette: Don't die Andi!

Doctor: Nicolette,Andi will live. She just needs to stay in the hospital for a few days.

Jury
[The judge bangs his gavel]

Judge: "OK, now order in the court everyone."

Judge: "Has the jury reached the verdict?"

Frank arrives home from Juvenile Detention
Bridget: "Mom, Frank is coming home."

(Frank opens the door and the first thing he does is go on the Wii 30)

Nicolette: "Francis, we need to speak with you right now."

David: "In the living room."

(Frank comes into the living room)

Frank: "What do you want? Bridget is the one who started it!"

David: "Enough. I don't want to hear who started it."