Lemmy Family Visits Team Terrific 10 Base

Arrival
Audrey: Today we will travel to the Team Terrific 10 Base to see if we can join.

Drake: Why join there?

Lucas: Because it's an amazing base filled with cool places. Plus, they have a military, and I might enroll you kids there so you can finally have some discipline.

Asuka: Discipline my ass! We will never change!

Fred: By the way, I wonder if they have Beatles fans there.

Drake tries to hit on BE!Maria
Longwei: Hey Maria, there's a new family that has arrived called the Lemmy family. They come from Liverpool, England.

BE!Maria: Liverpool? We don't get many visitors from that area.

Longwei: Well be cautious to the family. After the shitshows we got from the Slaters, Georgias, Karens, and Keenes, I don't want another blowout.

BE!Maria: Don't worry, Longwei. Not all of them can be that bad.

Longwei: Well I'll be on the office department over there. Call me if you need anything.

BE!Maria: Okay.

[Longwei leaves, and BE!Maria reads her JJBA manga. Soon, Drake arrives]

Drake: Hello. I'm Drake Lemmy. Who are you?

BE!Maria: I'm Maria Tachimi, well, there’s other two of me, and I'm a long-time resident in the base.

Drake: Oh, can you give me a tour? I'd like to explore this place.

BE!Maria: Sure. That building across the street is the main office department.

Drake: Okay. But what's that?

BE!Maria: That's the headquarters. This is where the commanders and high-ranked members do their work.

Drake: Do they have a local sex shop? Because I'd love to get some cool sex toys.

BE!Maria: Hell no! This isn't Lewd Leaf Land!

Drake: Well you can be my lewd leaf if you know what I mean...

[Drake smacks BE!Maria's butt, infuriating her to punch him in the face, knocking him down to the ground]

BE!Maria: Are you out of your mind?! How old are you?!

Drake: I'm 16, but I've already lost my virginity to a stripper!

BE!Maria: What?!

[Longwei arrives, seeing the commotion]

Longwei: What happened?

BE!Maria: This little pervert tried to hit on me and smacked me in the butt! I punched him out of self-defense.

Longwei: God damnit! This is the second time some perverted teen tries to hit on my girlfriend!

Drake: Wait, you have a boyfriend?

BE!Maria: Hell yeah I have a boyfriend! I was gonna tell you that before you smacked my ass!

Longwei: Now get the fuck outta here! You remind me of Mark!

Drake: Alright, mate, I'm sorry!

Lucas compares Xiu-mei to Asuka
Xiu-mei: Hey mommy, I heard that a new family came to town.

Fumei: Yes, they're the Lemmy family. I think they have a 5 year old girl.

Lei: I just hope they're not lunatics like the previous families!

[Lucas and Asuka arrive at the playground]

Asuka: Hello! I'm Asuka. What's yours?

Xiu-mei: I'm Xiu-mei. Are you the new family?

Asuka: Yes. Are you Chinese?

Xiu-mei: Yes, I'm Chinese-American. My daddy came from a small place called Macau and mommy’s from Chongqing.

[Xiu-mei is wearing a red flower-pattered qipao with cream leggings]

Lucas: Your daughter looks well dressed. I wished Asuka would dress like that instead.

Fumei: Also, why did you call your daughter Asuka?, Is your family Japanese?

Lucas: No, but my wife is a big fan of the anime "Neon Genesis Evangelion". She insisted we name our daughter after one of the characters from the show, Asuka Langley Soryu. She also plans on having another daughter and naming her after Rei Ayanami.

Lei: Well that's interesting. I like anime too, my favorites being JJBA, Maria introduced me to that one and even got the inspiration for one of Xiu-mei’s nicknames and Cells at Work!. My daughter also enjoys Cells at Work!, as she has all the manga volumes, I like CODE: BLACK more.

Audrey: “So, what’s her nickname?”

Lei: “Dioko, It’s derived from Dio Brando, a character from JoJo, specifically, the main villain and ko, meaning child, which is a common way to end Japanese feminine names if Maria and Satomi are to be believed, So, put both together and you get Dioko”

Audrey: “That’s pretty screwed up nicknaming your daughter after a sociopathic vampire overlord.”

Lei: “It was Maria’s idea, She beat up a girl Dio-style for ripping up her Cells at Work manga.”

Xiu-mei: So what music do you like listening to?

Asuka: When my parents aren't around, I listen to the most brutal metal!

Xiu-mei: What metal?

Asuka: Brutal death metal, slam death metal, grindcore, goregrind, cybergrind, pornogrind, deathgrind, and gorenoise.

Xiu-mei: My parents say I'm not allowed to listen to that type of music because they're inappropriate, Daddy does, but not when I’m around, he says.

Asuka: Well I'll show you an example. Just don't tell your parents!

Xiu-mei: Uh, okay...

[Asuka goes on her phone and then opens up YouTube. She goes on a video called "Rectal Nectar - Gangsta Gorenoise 2" and presses play]

Xiu-mei: Woah! It's so loud!

Asuka: (while headbanging) I know! It's awesome! After this, I will put on Cattle Decapitation!

Lucas: What is that noise?

[Lucas, Lei, and Fumei go to the girls to see them listening to Rectal Nectar]

Lei: What in the world is going on?!

Xiu-mei: Uh, daddy, I can explain!

Lucas: (grabbing the phone and turning off the video) Asuka Lemmy! I thought I told you not to listen to that type of music!

Asuka: But it's awesome! The drums go fast, and the vocals are nice!

Fumei: We don't want our daughter to be listening to that type of music. It's too inappropriate for her age.

Xiu-mei: I'm so sorry.

Lei: It's okay. It wasn't your fault, Xiu-mei, if you were listening to it willingly and was the one to play it, I’d be very upset.

Lucas: See, Asuka? Why can't you be as nice as her?

Lei: Okay, you gotta stop with comparing your daughter to ours, you remind me of those mainland Chinese parents, Yes, she’s well-behaved and I actually parent her, I don’t compare her to other kids.

Fumei: Yeah. It's starting to get annoying now.

Xiu-mei: “That’s creepy.”

[The adults turn to Xiu-mei]

Lei: “See, she thinks your creepy, Xiu-mei, is it alright if I tell them your cosplay horror story?”

Xiu-mei: “Yes.”

Lei: “My daughter was nearly sexually assaulted by a predator in a convention, she was cosplaying as the Platelet from Cells at Work!, He grabbed her and moved her hand up her legs, I punched him in the face, the Cells at Work! cosplay group witnessed the ordeal, the Effector T-Cell cosplayer held the guy down, the guy flipped his shit and said the most disgusting things like “he wanted to fuck a loli“ and other vile crap. The Red Blood Cell cosplayer gave her a hug and gave her sweets to calm her down in the middle of the chaos. What's even crazier is that the pedofuck somehow overpowered the Effector T-Cell and attempted to flee, but a security guard tased him. He got knocked out from the tasing and only had a very small chance of surviving, but he somehow lived. I was very tempted to follow the ambulance and pull the plug on him. The Killer T-Cell assured her not all grownups are like this, since that day, she’s quite wary around adults, she now actually thinks people who are calling her ‘cute‘ and ’adorable’ when they’re not people we know is “creepy” and “disturbing”, she’s fine most of the time, but discussing that guy with her freaks her out.”

Lucas: Woah. Well I'm very sorry for what happened to your daughter in the convention. I can assure you that I'm not like that sick monster.

Lei: Thank goodness. We don't want to go through that shit again.

Darren Keene gets splashed with milk by Drake and Asuka
Darren: Hello, I'm Darren. You must be from the Lemmy family.

Aubrey: Correct. I'm Aubrey, and this is my husband Lucas.

Lucas: Not trying to offend you, but are you dating that boy?

Darren: Yes. I'm gay, and I'm dating Chris Sutton. My father is strictly anti-LGBT, and abuses me and my siblings.

Aubrey: Well that sucks!

Darren: I recently joined TT10, and now I can be free here. The people here are supportive to the LGBT community.

[Suddenly, Darren gets splashed with milk]

Darren: Hey! Who did that?!

Drake: That was me!

Asuka: Get rekt, f****t!

Aubrey: DRAKE AND ASUKA!!! YOU DO NOT SPLASH SOMEONE WITH MILK!!! THAT WAS VERY RUDE!!!

Darren: And you don't call me the f word either! That's offensive to gay people like me!

Lucas: I also got word that you sexually assaulted a woman by hitting her in the buttocks. Is that true?

Drake: Yeah, but at that time she didn't told me she had a boyfriend. Plus, I've done that shit to strippers and prostitutes. What was the big deal?

Lucas: Young man, women are not sex toys, and shouldn't be treated as such.

Longwei: “My gang leader made it clear that the women and men in my gang are not prostitutes, Lei’s already had a bastard kid, you’d probably not use contraceptives with Maria.”

Drake: “Xiu-mei was a bastard?”

Longwei: “Yeah until her parents got married.”

Drake meet Xiu-mei.
[We see Lei and Xiu-mei watching Cells at Work! on Netflix]

Xiu-mei: “That’s Mr. White Blood Cell.”

Lei: “It sure is.”

[Fumei opens the door]

Fumei: “Lei, can you help me for a moment?”

Lei: “Sure, Xiu-mei, I’ll be right back, I need to help mommy.”

[Xiu-mei nods]

Xiu-mei: “1, 2, 3, We are Cells at Work!”

[Lei leaves the room as the show continues playing, Xiu-mei picks up her Jessie doll]

Xiu-mei: “Hi, Jessie!”

[Xiu-mei pauses the show and gets out her toys]

Xiu-mei: “Daddy will be back soon, then we can watch more Cells at Work!”

[Drake enters the room and sits on the bed, he then sees the remote in Xiu-mei’s hand]

Xiu-mei: “Hey! You’re not daddy. You’re that bad man who hurt auntie Maria.”

Drake: Oh I'm a bad man?

[Drake then snatches the remote of Xiu-mei]

Xiu-mei: “Give it back! Daddy and I are watching Cells at Work!”

[Drake then puts on a porn film]

Xiu-mei: “Where’s Cells at Work!?”

Drake: “Quiet, I’m watching this.”

[Xiu-mei covers her ears at the loud moaning and shuts her eyes]

Xiu-mei: Daddy! Some kid put on a bad film!

[Lei enters the room, then quickly turns off the porno]

Lei: What the fuck is wrong with you?! My daughter is in the room!

Drake: Well you know what? Next time, tell her not to whine like a little bitch!

Lei: (holding back his rage) Get out of her room right now or so help me!

[Drake leaves]

Lei: Are you okay, Xiu-mei?

Xiu-mei: No. What were the people in the film doing?

Lei: I'll tell you about that when you get older. Now let's put Cells at Work! back on.

Xiu-mei: “Cells at Work! Yay!”

Fred meets Lei and Xiu-mei
[We see Lei and Xiu-mei watching an episode from Cells at Work!]

Fred: (arriving) Hey, I'm Fred Lemmy. I'm the new person here.

Lei: Oh god, what do you want from us?

Fred: What do you mean?

Lei: Your older brother sexually assaulted BE!Maria and made my daughter sit through a porno when I was helping my wife with cooking, your younger sister made my daughter listen to gorenoise, your father kept comparing Asuka to Xiu-mei, she found it creepy and thought he was obsessed with her, and I've just gotten word that Drake and Asuka splashed Darren with milk.

Fred: Oh my goodness. Trust me, I am nothing like them. After all, I'm a Beatles fan.

Lei: You listen to the Beatles?

Fred: Yes. I'm dressed up as George Harrison from the Abbey Road cover.

Lei: Woah. That's a pretty good cosplay for George.

Fred: Yeah. In fact, I love dressing up as the Beatles. My parents don't like it though, as they say it's causing me to slack off in school, but I don't know what they're talking about.

Xiu-mei: Well if you're too obsessed with the band, then you might want to limit the time you dress up as them, Daddy encourages me to be interested in lots of things.

Fred: By the way, what show are you watching?

Lei: We're watching Cells at Work!. My daughter loves that show.

Xiu-mei: Yeah! I got all the manga, It’s about cells working in the human body, but they’re all people.

Fred: Well I'm not much of an anime person myself. After this episode, can we watch "John and Yoko: A Love Story"?

Lei: What's that?

Fred: It's a biographical film about the relationship between John Lennon and Yoko Ono. It's a really good movie.

Lei: Well I hope it isn't inappropriate, because I don't want my daughter to see any graphic scenes, especially after what Drake did!

Fred: It's rated TV-PG, and I've seen the movie before, so I can assure you that there aren't gonna be any bad scenes.

Lei: Alright.

[After the episode ends, Lei puts on the John & Yoko movie. 30 minutes into the film however...]

Lucas: Hey Fred, we need to go to the headquarters. The higher ups need to speak to us.

Xiu-mei: “Thanks Fred.”

Kicked out
Reicheru: Okay, I'm starting to get tired of these new families coming to the base and wrecking havoc.

Aubrey: What happened?

BE!Maria: For starters, Drake thought it would be a genius idea to smack my ass.

Drake: Then again, you never said you were taken!

BE!Maria: Then again, it's still not proper for you to smack a woman's ass like that!, I don’t do the same thing to men!

Longwei: You remind me of Mark Slater. He's a black metal elitist who also tried to hit on Maria and then proceeded to grab her breasts. You people do realize that she was almost raped at 17, right? If I see another person sexually assault my girlfriend again, I'm shooting their dick off!

Drake: I'm sorry, man. I really didn't knew you two were dating.

BE!Maria: And even when we do have intercourse, we have some precautions. Also, didn't you told me that you lost your virginity?

Drake: Yep. I lost it from this stripper with a big ass!

Longwei: Dude, you're fucking 16. Aren't you a bit too young to have sex?

Drake: Well in the UK, the age of consent is 16, so it's fine.

BE!Maria: Well in the base, the age of consent is 18, so what you did to me is technically illegal.

Drake: Well, bloody hell.

Lei: Also Lucas, why did you compared Asuka with Xiu-mei. I get that she isn't as well behaved as Xiu-mei, but still, those comparisons were unnecessary.

Fumei: I agree. I especially didn't appreciate her playing gorenoise music with Xiu-mei.

Asuka: It was awesome, right?!

Xiu-mei: No. I couldn't hear what they were saying!

Lucas: Well I'm sorry about the comparisons and the gorenoise incident. Our lives are chaotic, and sometimes, I just wish I was in a different family, I’m just really impressed how well-behaved your daughter is in spite her age.

Aubrey: We're getting a Supernanny in a week, so hopefully our problems are solved.

Darren: Also Drake and Asuka, you don't ever splash milk on people!

Drake: It's just a prank bro!

Asuka: Besides, I thought f****ts like you enjoyed milk!

Darren: There you go again with the f word!

Lucas: Asuka, I don't know where you're getting all of these words, but stop it now!

[Lei runs into the room and hits Drake]

Lei: “That's what you fucking get for making my four-year old daughter sit through a pornographic film, You perverted fuck!”

Lucas: “Wait, YOU SHOWED A BLOODY PORN FILM TO A FOUR-YEAR OLD GIRL?!”

Drake: “She was getting annoying! She kept saying “Where’s Cells at Work!?”, “Where’s Cells at Work!?”, Fucking hell!”

Aubrey: Drake, Xiu-mei is too young to even understand the concept of sex! You're lucky Lei didn't beat you up!

Lei: I'm a sociopath, which was worsen from childhood abuse.

Lucas: And what about Fred? What do he do?

Lei: Actually, besides the weird Beatles obsession, he was actually pretty good. He showed us a film called "John & Yoko: A Love Story", and me and Xiu-mei liked it.

Xiu-mei: Yeah, John and Yoko were awesome!, I don’t like one of her albums though.

Fred: “That’s fine, Xiu-mei, I can understand why.”

Aubrey: We are so sorry about all of the chaos. Are we still allowed to join?

Sophie: No. The behavior your children brought was unacceptable. However, Aubrey, Lucas, and Fred are allowed to come back, since their behaviors were good.

Drake: Now that's a load of ass! What did me and Asuka do?

Longwei: Were you even hearing the entire thing?

BE!Maria: Look, you two are not allowed here because of your atrocious behavior. Your worse than the Slaters, but still nothing compared to the Arebads.

Asuka: Who are the Arebads?

Lei: We've already explained this to your parents, but for you kids, the Arebads were this racist family who harassed and attacked us for no reason. One of their youngest shitheads attacked my daughter Xiu-mei and ripped up her Cells at Work! manga. She was so furious, she beated her up like Dio Brando!

BE!Maria: Her aunts and uncles nicknamed her Dioko for her hidden violent temper, believe me, never make her angry.

Drake: Well geez. Now I don't feel bad about my family at all.

Reicheru: This conversation is over. Now please leave.