Samo-Woods Family Christmas

9 days before Christmas
Nicole: "Before Christmas, Satoko and Toshio waved Japan flags, before getting punished and whined at."

[Satoko and Toshio wave Japanese flags]

Garrett: "SATOKO! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WAVE THOSE FLAGS!"

Satoko: "私は私がしたい場合は、それらを振ることができます、あなたを殺します！" (Translation: I WILL KILL YOU, I CAN WAVE THEM IF I WANT TO!)

Christmas Shopping
Nicole: "Satoko, Ann, Jack, and Toshio went Christmas shopping,"

Satoko: "大丈夫、私と一緒に滞在し、誰もが覚えていますか？" (Translation: Remember everyone, stay with me, okay?)

[Satoko, Ann, Jack, and Toshio walk, only to notice a woman dragging her screaming son away from a video game store]

Child: "MOMMY! I WANT THE PLAYSTATION 4, IT'S THE LAST ONE IN STOCK!"

Satoko: "私はそれをしたいと思います. " (Translation: I would like that.)

[Satoko comes in the video game store]

Ann: "Wow! Look at all the video games!"

Satoko: "私が取得する必要があります1俊夫、プレイステーション10、またはXbox720？" (Translation: Toshio, which one should I get, a PlayStation 10, or an XBOX OneX?)

Toshio: "プレイステーション10！" (Translation: Playstation 4!)

[Satoko gets the Playstation 10 box and brings it to the counter]

Satoko: "こんにちは、私は、私は行くよ、このソニーのプレイステーション4を購入するいくつかのゲームを取得し、それに目を維持したいと思います. " (Translation: Hello, I would like to purchase this Sony PlayStation 4, I'll go get some games, keep a eye on it.)

3 minutes later

[Satoko come back with 10 first-person shooter games]

Satoko: "、俊夫、ありがとうございましたあなたはそれを保持しますか？" (Translation: Thank you, Toshio, do you want to hold it?)

Child: "THAT JAPANESE-SPEAKING LADY'S GOT THE LAST ONE!"

Child's Mom: "Kenneth! No! We can still get the Playstation 3."

[Satoko turns around]

Kenneth's Mom: "Sorry about that---"

Satoko: "" (Translation: Satoko Samo.)

Kenneth's Mom: "Sorry, Satoko, I understand how you feel, how's your kids, when they are Christmas Shopping?"

Satoko: "完全に行儀. " (Translation: Perfectly well-behaved.)

Kenneth: "STEAL THE SHADOW PLUSH DOLL! STEAL THE SHADOW PLUSH DOLL!"

[Toshio turns around and holds his Shadow plush in a protective way]

Kenneth's Mom: "Kenneth Ronald Mason, we are leaving!"

Kenneth: I want Shadow! I want it now, Natasha Lily Mason!

Kenneth's Mom: Young man, do not address me by my given name. I am your mother. That is very naughty. The way you are behaving in public is much too immature for a seven-year-old. On top of that, you do not deserve Christmas presents this year. Come with me, and we will - Pooey!! What is that awful smell? Did you mess or wet your knickers?

Satoko vs. Weeaboo
Nicole: "Satoko was reading Hetalia: Axis Powers Volume 4, a 19-year old girl named Helena sat near her and started to annoy her."

[Satoko is sitting on a bench, reading Hetalia Volume 4, with Toshio next to her]

Satoko: "Kawaii!" (Translation: Cute!)

[A female rushes to the bench and sits near Satoko]

Helena: "Hot, kawaii desu!"

Satoko: "私は熱い男性キャラで顔を赤らめからといってあなたは私の近くに座ることができるという意味ではありません！どこかに行って！のみ俊夫は私を見ることを許可されています！" (Translation: Just because I blushed at a hot male character doesn't mean you can sit near me! GO AWAY! ONLY TOSHIO IS ALLOWED TO WATCH ME!)

Christmas Eve
Garrett: "All right Toshio, you good-for-nothing son of a..."

[He finds Toshio is is holding his katana up to his back of his neck]

Toshio: "右あなたの後ろに！" (Translation: Right behind you!)

Garrett: "I hate you."

[Satoko takes Toshio, Ann and Jack to a private jet and they leave for Tokyo, Japan for Toshio's commercial shoot]

Christmas Day
Nicole: "None of the kids got coal, which is awkward. But Garrett on the other hand, received a huge mountain of coal! LOL!"

Toshio: (translation: LOL! Merry Christmas, Garrett!)

[He grabs a cell phone and takes a picture of Garrett with the mountain of coal in the background to send to his stepdad's relatives. He then puts the phone down on the coffee table and proceeds to open presents with Ann and Jack]

Toshio: (translation: Super Shadow! A new tablet! Hyper Shadow, Silver, Sonic, Dragon Ball, Beyblade, Naruto, Pokemon, Transformers, and Digimon! Arigato, mommy!)

Jack: Digimon, Pokemon! Sonic the Hedgehog OVA,

Ann: Pokemon, Sailor Moon, Spirited Away, Kiki's Delivery Service, Hello Kitty, Mew Mew Power! Arigato, Satoko!

Toshio discovers the pornographic pictures
Nicole: "Toshio was playing with the camera with Ann and Jack and looked at the photos."

[Toshio takes a few pictures then looks at the gallery, just to find pornographic Digimon and Pokémon and hardcore vore Sonic pictures]

Toshio: "ああ、Calemとセレナは何をしていますか. " (Translation: Oh, what are Calem and Serena doing?!)

Ann: "What's wrong Toshio?"

Jack: "Toshio? Toshio!"

[The picture is seen, censored on the tablet]

Ann: "Let me see that."

[Ann takes the tablet from Toshio's arms]

Ann: "Oh my god!"

[Ann and Jack run to Satoko]

Ann: "SATOKO!"

Satoko: "アニー？それは何ですか？" (Translation: Annie? what is it?)

Ann: "Me, Jack, and Toshio were taking pictures with the camera and when we tried to look at them, Pokemon, Digimon, and Sonic pornographic pictures"!

Satoko: "さてさて、私はそれらを見てみましょう！" (Translation: Alright, let me see them!)

[Satoko takes the tablet and looks shocked]

Satoko: "聖なるくそ！ポケモンXとYからのもの二つがセックスをしている、それらは約13〜15試合でです！そして、何だ一体する影の内側にやっソニックで、まだ生きていると影が腫れ腸を持っていますか？それはソニックは彼の胃の中にある表示されます、それは病気です！" (Translation: Holy shit! Are those two from Pokemon X and Y having sex, they are about 13-15 in the games! And what the fuck is Sonic doing inside Shadow and still alive and Shadow has a swollen gut? It appears Sonic is inside his stomach, that is sick!)

[Satoko also sees Silver inside Amy Rose's gullet, Naga-Shadow wrapping his snake-like coils around Sonic who seems to enjoy being encased in a warm cocoon of coils, Cream inside Tails's belly, Charmy inside Vector, Espio inside Knuckles, Chip inside Were-Sonic, a picture of Shadow with visible genitalia, Sonic inside Shadow, and the Pokemon Mesprit with visible female genitals and Azelf with visible male genitals having sexual intercourse, the Digimon Renamon tied up, exposing genitals, and many more]

300 pictures later

Satoko: "" (Translation: GARRETT! What is the meaning of this?!)

[Satoko goes to Garrett's room and pulls Garrett by the arm]

Satoko: "どのように変態とvore材料に私の息子を施すあえて！あなたは彼がvoreとエロの周りに敏感なクソさを知って、私はあなたを殺しますこれらの写真を再び私の息子を見せます！" (Translation: HOW DARE YOU SUBJECT MY SON TO HENTAI AND VORE MATERIAL! YOU KNOW HE IS FuckING SENSITIVE AROUND VORE AND HENTAI, SHOW MY SON THOSE PICTURES AGAIN, I WILL MURDER YOU!)

[Garrett acts like nothing happened]

Christmas dinner
[Garrett returns with a KFC Christmas chicken dinner, and places it on the table]

Garrett: Dinner.

Toshio is unable to sleep
Nicole: "As a result of seeing those vile photos, he was unable to sleep properly for the first few days."

[Toshio is still awake past his bedtime]

[Satoko goes in to check on her son]

Satoko: "" (Translation: Same thing, Transformers yaoi, especially Starscream and Megatron, shonen-ai is okay, Yaoi is not.)

Toshio: "" (Translation: Garrett is a sick minded-son of a bitch!)