User blog:KidOfTheBlackHole/BFAF: Blackberry Family

How the fuck is it going, my name's Ian, today we're doing another BFAF, aka the series that gives me an excuse to cyberbully everybody. This episode's on the Blackberry Family, an episode made by TheConeZone. You know the formula, let's dig in!

Bash
> The Blackberry Family is the first episode and the series premiere of '''Double Nannies. '''<

Great, this already sounds terrible.

> Jo Frost meets the new series and has her new friend, Audrey Jennette. <

RIP Audrey with the two first names.

> They enter and visit the Blackberry Family. They face a painful secret amongst the children and realize the Blackberries are in big trouble with the neighbors. <

Are the parents abusive or something?

> A room is shown with sounds of the door banging from the inside <

Who is the door banging? How is that possible?

> '''Announcer: Tonight, on Double Nannies. We receive a new recruit in the show and they enter their first family. <'''

A new recruit? Is this military school?

> Gordon: I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING MY PHONE YOU ASSHOLE! <

Gordon is already a mood.

> '''Announcer: Jo and the new nanny of the series, Audrey, will be having to face a family of six unpredictable children. <'''

Six children? How hasn't the mum or dad gone Kevin Khatchadourian yet?

> Eliam: I will slap you if you don't give me chips!

Kaylee: I bought them for 20 dollars and you're gonna be a freaking fuckass freeloader and just take them?! <

"Eliam"? What kinda name is that? Also, Kaylee hasn't gone and said "oh yeah mate those are my chips" so they're now the entire family's.

> Announcer: Jo and Audrey also try to solve the mystery of the screams.

???: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! STOP!

???: WHY?! IS IT BOTHERING YOU?! <

Another relatable scene.

> Announcer: Can Jo and Audrey take the family back together?

Rose: I dare you to twerk in front of everyone at dinner time! <

Imagine the parents are getting a divorce because somebody dared somebody to twerk at dinnertime.

> Announcer: Or will it brittle into dust and ashes?

Kaylee: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY ROOM?! <

Your room got Thanos snapped, my man.

> Jo: Hello there, my name is Joanne Frost. I am here with a new nanny you will be seeing in this series from now on, Audrey! My new friend! <

What if the plot is less about helping fucked up families and more about a blossoming lesbian relationship between two nannies?

> Audrey: Hello! It is nice to meet ya all! <

Great, she's Diet Alabamian.

> Jo: Today were are at Tontoro, Canada. And we will be meeting our first family. Let us see what they're all about. <

They're at a restaurant in Japan in Canada? What?

> ???: Hi, were the Blackberry family. My name is Liza. I have a husband named Ferron. He is out cause he has a lot of work, so he comes home late. We have six children. Kaylee is the oldest, she's 17. Gordon is 16. Russom is 15. Rose is 12. Disher is 10, and the youngest is Eliam, he is 7. <

Somebody needs to call CPS on this mum for calling her kids these names.

> Kaylee: All you gotta do is respect me. If ya don't, your booty will get red as Satan's heart! <

Or literally any part of Satan's anatomy.

> Eliam: I want my booty to be red! I love red. <

Kinky.

> Liza: With Ferron coming home late. I have to have two personalities. I have to play good cop, bad cop all by myself with these children. <

You should probably get that checked out.

> Liza: Don't do that Disher. Gordon needs some respect! Don't worry Gordon, I'll give to something later on. <

Would that something be sexual favours per chance?

> Audrey: I can already sense something. <

So can I: Jo and Audrey getting shipped together.

>