Everyf***ingkidonthisplanet-Valor Family/Transcript

Before the Revolving Line of Credit
Announcer: “Tonight on Supernanny...

Iwillstrangle: “JOSEPHINE, YOU BETTER GET YOUR A** OVER HERE BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU!”

Josephine: “How about you shut the f*** up, you b******?”

Announcer: Jo travels to Nova Scotia to meet an out-of-control family.

Nicholas: “Me, Daniel, and Serena barely get any free time because our dad makes us work all day.”

(Ivy bites Lucy, making her scream)

(Vincent throws a vase at Daniel)

Iwillstrangle: “DANIEL, YOU BETTER CLEAN THIS D*** MESS UP RIGHT NOW, OR I WILL STAB YOU!”

Daniel: “Fine...(starts cleaning)”

Vincent: “Ha! Loser!”

(Chad eats all of the candy from the pantry)

Trevor: “Chad, you motherf***er! I’m going to whoop your a**!”

(Trevor kicks Chad, making him cry)

Abigail: “SUPERNANNY IS SUPER F***ING GAY!”

Jo: “What on earth?”

Introduction
(Jo opens the door to meet Fiona)

Fiona: “Thank goodness you’re here, Supernanny!”

Jo: “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Fiona.”

Fiona: “Come on in, and I’ll show you the kids.”

(Jo and Fiona walk in to the living room, where the kids are watching TV.”

Fiona: “These are my kids, Melvin, Geoff, Hannah, Josephine, Trevor, Ronald, Vincent, Lucy, Chad, and Abigail.”

Jo: “Wait a second, where are Nicholas, Daniel, and Serena?”

Fiona: “Despite the fact they are well behaved, my husband makes them do chores all day long, like cleaning, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, moving furniture, unclogging the toilet, and other things.”

Geoff: “Oh crap! Dad is coming!”

Jo: “Hm?”

(Iwillstrangle storms into the living room)

Iwillstrangle: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING, ALL OF YOU? YOU BETTER GET OFF OF THE TV RIGHT F***ING NOW, OR ELSE I WILL LOCK YOU IN THE ATTIC!”

Ronald: “Why should we, you f*****?”

Iwillstrangle: “OH, THAT F***ING DOES IT!”

(Iwillstrangle drags the kids up to the attic and locks them in there)

Iwillstrangle: “THAT WILL TEACH YOU! TV IS FOR ADULTS ONLY, NOT KIDS!”

(Iwillstrangle leaves)

Fiona: “Don’t worry! I have the key to the attic, and I’ll let you out!”

(Fiona unlocks the door to the attic and lets out the kids)

Fiona: “My husband thinks that TV is for adults and toys are for babies, for some reason.”

Ivy: “Whenever Daddy comes in the room and we’re playing with toys or watching TV, we have to hide the toys and shut off the TV.”