Juritin Family/Transcript

Submission Reel
Jo-Let's see what's it like to help this family!

Dad-Hi my name is collin

Mum-my name is june

Jo arrives at the Jurtin Household
Jo: "Hello, how are you?"

Observation begins
Joshua: "Swear to god, you put me down right now or you're gonna see kung fu voodoo."

Jo: "I beg your pardon, young man?"

Joshua: "Hey, who's the kumquat? Is he a friend of yours?"

Jo: "Joshua, excuse me. That behavior is unacceptable,"

Joshua: "Do you watch me flex? Check it out!" (straining fiercely)

June: "No."

Jo: "Josh's behavior was completely appalling. I mean, it is absolutely crazy that Mom puts up with such unacceptable behavior like this,"

Joshua: "Ohh, did that twerp just call me chubby?"

Jo: "My word, Josh. That behavior is completely unacceptable."

Joshua: "Hey, bitch. I'm a fucking teenager! Do you know what that means?"

Jo: "No, what?"

Joshua: "That means I can kick your twat six ways from shit!

June: "No, do not do that, Joshua. Do not use that kind of language. It is not acceptable,"

Joshua: "Hey, Jose. How many squats can you do, huh?"

June: "I am not interested in this."

Joshua: "Exactly. Let me spell it for you. Babies digged by Joshua. Ain't that right, baby."

June: "I don't think this is a good idea, Joshua."

Joshua: "Oh, Jose. You're out of your league. You should hit a blueberry or something." (laughs)

Jo: "You do not insult your mother like that. Joshua, please stop it this instant."

Joshua: "Hey! Zip the lip, Onion Dip!"

Jo: "Do not talk to me this way."

Joshua: "You're right! You're a grape!"

Jo: "I will not allow this to occur at any time. Do you understand me? "

Joshua: "Then, why are you so full of wine? (laughs) Ohh! Yo, baby-baby Edward. Guess what?"

Edward: "I'm not a baby. Stop calling me a baby."

Joshua: "Knife." (pulls out a knife)

(Collin, Jo, June, Edward, and Zelda screaming)

Jo: "Hey! This is way too violent!"

Joshua: "Psych." (laughs)

Collin: "That is not funny, man."

Jo: "What do you mean by knife?"

Edward: "Not cool, dude."

Joshua: "Why don't you stop being such a baby, baby Edward?" (laughs)

Edward: "Arghh!"

Joshua: "You see what I did there, Jose? I called him baby!"

June: "Do not insult your brother."

Collin: "Yeah, I agree. In fact, you should eat some Vanilla Cake!"

Joshua: "Vanilla cake, eh? More like cream puff!" (laughs)

Zelda: "It's not funny!"

Joshua: "Looks like you can't teach a 13-year-old new tricks!"

Jo: "Are you having this situation?"

Joshua: "You wanna see a trick? How about I make your face disappear, how about that?" (laughs)

Edward: "Whoa-whoa-whoa, just leave everyone out of this."

Joshua: "Go bite a bottle, baby Edward!"

Edward:"How many times have I told you not to call me a baby?!"

Jo: "Edward is right. You need to stop it!"

June: "That is totally forbidden."

Joshua: "Zip 'em, lock 'em, and put them in the pockets, onion dips."

Jo: "You do not talk to us this way. That is very rude and disrespectful."

Joshua: "You're right. You're grapes from a grapevine!"

Jo: "Excuse me?"

Joshua: "Then why are you being such a little whiner? (laughs) Ohh!"

June: "We do not like your phrases because they are very hurtful. I find this unjustified, Joshua."

Observation continues
Jo: "I cannot believe what I just seen, all the songs a 13-year-old downloaded have unacceptable lyrics, such as Suck my dick (starships, Drop the World, The Price is Wrong, Rebirth, On Fire, Listen to your Heart, Da Da Da, Lemon, Semi-Charmed Life, Knockout, and Mockingbird. It was utterly unbelievable."

June: "We tried many facilities to win the battle against Joshua, such as behavior modification camp, military school, boot camp, therapeutic boarding school and residential treatment center."

Zelda: "Joshua, what are you doing?"

Joshua: "Crush my back, Zelda, I dare you to."

Zelda: "No thanks."

Joshua: (sneering) "Oh, I get it. Maybe you're too CHICKEN!" (laughs) (starts clucking like a chicken)

Zelda: "Hey!"

Joshua: (starts clucking like a chicken)

Zelda: "That is not acceptable."

Joshua: (clucking continues)

Zelda: "Joshua, cut that out! MOM!"

???: "Hurry up, Joshua!"

Joshua: "Coming, Xandra!"

Xandra: "Come on! Your friends are waiting at the motorbike tournament!"

June: "No you won't."

Xandra: "(blows raspberry) Later, noobs!" (Xandra and Joshua laughing)

[Xandra and Joshua both leave]

June: "I think the trouble started when Joshua met a pre-teen crazy girl named Xandra. After hitting her by accident, they became friends. I can't believe my own son and she are boyfriend and girlfriend. Xandra is younger than Joshua but older than Zelda. Xandra's attitude is as poor as Joshua's. Not only that his friends swear, insult people by calling them fruits, talk back, and take dares, but they also blow raspberry. I'd say that Xandra is a bad influence to him."

Parent Meeting

Jo:Mom, dad, i am completely (bleep) by your son's behavior, he was rude to me and pointed a knife to me! How does the pair of you normalize your son's behavior?

June: I think we were horrible to Joshua when he was a Child, so that is why he is so psycho!

Jo: That doesn't justify his behavior towards us! And if he keeps like this he will rape Xandra! Are you guys noticing how serious and (bleep) his behavior is?

Both: YES!

Jo: Thank you for being honest! And we must change things right now!

House Rules

Jo: "All right everybody. I'd like to introduce to you, the House Rules."

Joshua: (scoffs) "Rules are for grapefruits, you know."

Jo: (ignores Joshua) "Rule number one: Everybody must speak politely. Does anybody know what that rule means?"

Zelda: "It means no swearing,"

(Joshua rolls his eyes)

Jo: "Rule number 2: Treat other people with respect."

June: "You hear that, Joshua? That means no calling people names."

Joshua: "BORING!"

Jo: (continuing to ignore Joshua) "Rule number 3: No taking drugs."

June: "Joshua, are you listening to me? It means that you can't take drugs since they could make you sick and might make you possibly die for a shorter chance."

Joshua: "But drugs are awesome, especially for teens!"

Jo: "Joshua, please stop! Rule number 4: the family spends about more than half of their life near together,"

Joshua: "Has this hag lost her mind?"

Joshua: "I STRONGLY disagree with that. I STRONGLY disagree!"

Jo: "Rule number 5: Give respect to kids only."

Joshua: "Respect? More like disrespect!"

<p style="font-size:13px;">Jo: i am obligated to introduce the Reflection Garden to Joshua, because his agression is so strong that he will only be able to reflect outside the family home

<p style="font-size:13px;">Jo: JOSHUA! REFLECTION GARDEN! GO THERE RIGHT NOW!

<p style="font-size:13px;">Joshua kicks Jo in the vagina

<p style="font-size:13px;">Jo: June, he kicked me right in the vagina! Did you just see that, or am i hallucinating?

<p style="font-size:13px;">

<p style="font-size:13px;">Jo: STAY IN THE GARDEN AND DO NOT COME OUT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU, OK?

<p style="font-size:13px;">Jo: after i calmed down i drank tea and applied medication in my lower part!

<p style="font-size:13px;">Joshua's Friends Come Over

Jo: "When it was time for dinner, all of Joshua's friends unexpectedly came over."

June: "Who are these people?"

Joshua: "These are all my friends!" (laughs)

Joshua's Friends: "HI!!"

Joshua: "Come in, guys!"

Xandra: "OMG! It's you, Joshua!"

Joshua: "HEY, XANDRA!"

Xandra: "Wanna go to dinner with us at Bocassio's?! IT IS JUST 5 MINUTES AWAY FROM YOUR HOUSE!"

Joshua: "YEAH!"

June: "No, don't listen to them, Joshua. Come sit down with your family for dinner instead."

Joshua: (sneering) "NO WAY, JOSE!" (laughs)

Xandra: "So long, loser!" (laughs)

Reflection Room
Joshua: "Jose, I'm about to take drugs."

June: "Please do not take drugs, Joshua, you will become ill and you will die."

Joshua: "I don't care, nobody will like you, Jose!"

June: "If you continue to act this way, I will instantly put you down to the Reflection Room. Plus, I will also take away your MP3 player."

Joshua: You never (bleep) accuse me before!"

June: "OK, move over to the room. I will count to three to march directly to the room. One....Two...."

Joshua: "Don't count to three; fruits don't belong in this (bleep)ing stupid room."

June: "This back-talk and attitude will immediately take you to the room and I will limit the counting to three."

Joshua: "How dare you! You are both a (bleep) grape and a (bleep) banana-head!"

June: "Three." (moves Joshua to the Reflection Room)

June: "I have placed you there because of your poor attitude, disrespect and unfairness to me. I expect an apology as soon as your thirteen minutes are up."

Joshua: "You are a fucking jerk. I don't have the fucking guts to be in there anyway."

June: "If you continue to back talk to me, I will automatically double your time to 26 minutes. Do you understand me?

Joshua: "No way, Jose! How the fucking hell you have set up this rule? I don't fucking want to stay there for almost a million seconds! What a bitchy grape you are!"

June: "Now this will double your time period. If you get up at anytime, the time will restart. I am also taking away your MP3 Player."

[June confiscates Joshua's MP3 player]

Jo: "Joshua wouldn't give into the Reflection Room,"

Joshua: "Zip the lip, onion dip." (pees on the rug and laughs while doing it)

Jo: "And then, all of a sudden, he peed on the rug like a dog."

June: "Joshua, I want an apology. I want you to tell me you're sorry."

Joshua: "NO WAY, JOSE!"

June: "Alright. You refused to apologize, so your timeout will restart."

[13 minutes later]

June: "Joshua, you were in the Reflection Room because you were disrespectful to me and you were using profane language. I would like an apology from you."

Joshua: "Jose, I ain't apologizing until you turn into a grape!"

June:You will stay there for the rest of the evening!

Zelda's 12th Birthday

Jo: "The next day was Zelda's 12th birthday, and she was having a spa-themed sleepover party with her friends."

[Jo puts up the lavender, chartreuse green, bright blue, white, and pink streamers]

[June provides a large sheet of poster board and markers for Zelda's guests to create a giant card for Zelda]

Zelda: "When my friends arrived, they each brought a robe, and we were all divided up into each 'spa station'; the nails, the facial, the foot soaks, makeup and hair. We all moved from station to station. We also created our own body glitter and bath salts."

Party Guest: "Isn't your brother Joshua's girlfriend allowed at your party, Zelda?"

Zelda: "Oh, no. No boys allowed at this party, and no dorks allowed at this party, especially Xandra, whole stole my action figures."

Party Guest: "That's not very nice of her, Xandra."

Jo: "All of a sudden, Xandra took the birthday cake and left a message."

Zelda: "Hey, where's the birthday cake?"

Party Guest: "Look, guys! A message!"

Zelda: [reading the message] "You girls are stupid. Cake is not awesome!! XANDRA WAS HERE! LOL! I TOOK IT BECAUSE I WANNA STEAL IT! I ALSO WANTED TO RUIN YOUR PARTY! ROFL!" [which actually says "You girz ar stupid cak is no awsom XANDRA WUZ HERE LOL I TOOK IT BECZUSE I WANA STEEL IT I ELSO WANTD TO RUEN YA PARTEEE ROFL"]

Party Guest: "That is not a nice message. Xandra should've apologized!'

Zelda: "MOM!"

June: "What is it, dear?"

Zelda: "Xandra took the cake!"

June: "Joshua!"

Joshua: "(sneering) WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY BE THIS TIME?!"

June: "Do you know about your little friend, Xandra taking the cake?"

Joshua: "No, I don't."

June: "Are you serious?"

Joshua: "Yes, you silly grapefruit!"

June: "Okay, thank you."

[Xandra takes all the streamers and poster boards and leaves a message]

June: "Collin! A message!"

Collin: [reads the message] "Mr. and Mrs. Juritin, I took your streamers and poster boards because I wanna steal." [which was actually "Mr und Mrs Jureetan I tok yur stremars an poser bords bezcuse I wana steel]

June: "Wait...I know who that person is....It's......XANDRA!"

Collin: "Who's Xandra?"

June: "Joshua's girlfriend. JOSHUA ROBERTO JURITIN!"

Joshua: "(sneering) YA, you silly grapefruit?"

June: "THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY MEANS SO MUCH TO YOUR SISTER, AND SHE'S LOOKING FORWARD TO CELEBRATE IT WITH HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY!"

Joshua: (sneering) "It's not my fault that you shouldn't have hidden the birthday merchandise when you had your chance!"

[Joshua laughs]

Jo: "And Joshua went over to Captain Nemos Subs and Chicken."

Joshua: "Hey, guys."

Ron: "Want to go and eat dinner at Captain Nemos Subs and Chicken? It is just 10 minutes away from your house!"

Joshua: "YEAH! I'd come with you guys rather than eat with my family."

June: "Too bad. You have to eat dinner with your family."

Joshua: "NO WAY, JOSE!"

June: "Joshua, that is considered very selfish of you! You know you have to spend quality time with your family."

Joshua: "Not up for it, Jose!"

June: "You need to spend more time with your family than your friends. We need to balance it out."

Xandra: [blows a raspberry at June] "So long, loser!" [laughs eerily]

Joshua: "YA, you silly grapefruit!" [laughs]

[Joshua and his crew leave the house]

Family test run

Beginning of the week

June: i am making poisonous water to kill my scoundrel son Joshua!

Joshua: YOU HORRID MURDERING BITCH! YOU ARE THE ONE MEANT TO DRINK THAT FUCKING PUSSY SMELLING WATER!

June: DO NOT FUCK MY MIND! I AM THE FUCKING GODDESS OF THE PUSSY THAT WE LIVE AND YOU"LL DRINK MY PISS!

Middle of the week

June: BLOODY HELL JOSHUA! YOU ARE GOING TO DRINK MY SQUIRT!

Joshua: YOU HOE! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEX IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!

June: GO TO BED OR I'LL KILL YOU!

End of the week

June: I AM REALLY PISSED OF JOSHUA AND I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!

Jo: My god, i am deeply appalled by mom and son's behavior!

Parent evaluation

Jo: Hi June, let's watch footage of the time i wasn't there please!

( Clip 1 plays)

Jo: OH MY WORD! THIS WAS REALLY UGLY JUNE! WHAT A PITTY OF YOU TO HAVE A NAUGHTY SON LIKE HIM!

(CLIP 2 PLAYS)

Jo: THIS CLIP MAKES IT CLEAR TO ME THAT YOU HAVE ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND THAT YOU NEED PSYCHIATRIC COUNSELING BEFORE IT 'S TOO LATE!

(CLIP 3 PLAYS)

Jo: In the name of my mental health i choose to withdraw from helping you guys!

Jo gives up
Jo: "Sorry, June, you might as well try another method to deal with Joshua's unruly behavior."

Joshua: "Farewell, you silly (bleep) grapefruit!"

Family Update
June: "I know you've tried your best, but please, please help us and try your best in the future."

Zelda: "Goodbye, Jo-Jo..."

Joshua: "Farewell, you silly grapefruit!"

Edward: "Farewell, Jo-Jo..."

[Cut to Joshua going with his friends for dinner]

Joshua: (laughs) "With that onion-dip gone, the whole state will be mine to control!" (laughs)

Season Update
Announcer: "Hello, Supernanny fans. Unfortunately, there's no new Supernanny episodes for a while. This is the last episode for this season, but there will be a brand new season on December 12. After 19 episodes of Season 9, the finale has finally arrived. Hopefully, Jo will help the Juritin Family in the future. I shall go now..."