Beauregard Family/Transcript

Tonight on Supernanny
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Melissa: "YOU ALWAYS FAVOR JENNIFER MORE THAN ME AND DIANA!!!!"

Announcer: "Jo meets the Beauregard family."

Diana: "YOU ARE DUMB!"

Submission Reel
Jo: "You are with me in Miles City, Montana, ready to help a single mother. Let's take a peek."

???: "Hi, we're the Beauregard Family! I'm Violet, and I'm a single divorced mom. I have three girls, Melissa, aged 16, Diana, aged 12 and Jennifer aged 6 and will soon be turning 7."

Violet: "Jennifer is the only one in this family, who is 100% well behaved."

Violet: "We've tried Military School in London, Behavior Modification Camp, Boot Camp, but nothing worked out for those two."

AM Morning
Violet: "Have a good day in school, Jennifer!"

Jo: "It didn't take me long to realize that Melissa and Diana were the main problem in the household."

Melissa: "YOU ALWAYS FAVOR JENNIFER MORE THAN YOU DO ME AND DIANA!!!"

Jo: "Melissa complained that she was jealous of Jennifer since Violet liked her better than her and Diana."

Violet: "Unlike the two of you, Jennifer has good behavior."

Violet: "When Melissa or Diana say that I favor Jennifer more than I do with them, it just breaks my heart."

Melissa: "IT'S ALWAYS WHAT JENNIFER WANTS! WHEN WE WANT TO DO SOMETHING, IT'S 'NO, NO, NO, NOT TODAY!'!!! Jenifer is such a goody-goody. What so great about being good, anyway?"

Diana: "YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT US MOM!!!! YOU NEVER DO!!!"

Violet: "Jennifer is well-behaved, unlike you."

PM Afternoon
Jo: "Tell me about your oldest girls' behaviors."

Violet: "Well, Jo, I'm afraid to tell you that my oldest girls Melissa and Diana were expelled from one school each, but Diana is on the edge of getting kicked out of her second school. Melissa was expelled from Custer County District High School for setting the entire school on fire with a match. The reason why she did that because she was upset that didn't get the part in the school play. When I arrived to collect her after I recieved a phone call from her principal, I noticed that the cops are everywhere. And Diana was kicked out of Riverview school for gossiping and is now on the brink of getting kicked out of her second school for stealing."

Jo: "Has any holiday been ruined?"

Violet: "Well, Melissa and Diana ruined Halloween. They bought a dynamite on eBay and used that to blow up Mrs Lacey's car. The poor woman was so upset that she has moved out of Miles City altogether. Not only that, Diana ate all of Jennifer's candy which she brought home from trick or treating while Melissa broke all of my Flavorstone cookware appliances by melting them in a fire she lit in the backyard and I tried to put the fire out with the fire extinguisher and so I had to buy some new cookware appliances."

Jo: "Oh, dear."

Violet: "And Thanksgiving was a complete disaster. Melissa didn't even spend Thanksgiving with the family as she DECIDED to spend it with her best friend Jessica Spano! Diana whined and complained that the turkey was dry and not real. Her exact words were: 'I want REAL turkey not PROCESSED turkey'. Diana then ruined the night by having a food fight with her cousins. As you can see, my former husband's side of the family is Italian and the main culprits were Mary, Giovanni, Francesca and Megan."

Jo: "Oh my."

Violet: "And Christmas was totally ho-ho-horrible. You see, Melissa, Diana, Jennifer and I were at my parents house for the holidays. When we went Christmas shopping, Diana and Melissa were caught shoplifting hundreds of dollars of merchandise. Then on the day of Christmas, Melissa and Diana only found coal in their stockings and they got nothing but notes from Santa Claus as their Christmas presents. And they began to get revenge on Jennifer for being the only one who got presents and Melissa threw a chair, knocking a Christmas tree over Jennifer and then they stole all their cousins' presents before Diana hits Jennifer's head with a wooden hammer, luckily her skull wasn't broken and Melissa repeatedly beats Jennifer across her face with a hard book. So I had to bring Jennifer into casualty to get her treated. After Jennifer and I got back from casualty and got her a treat from the toy store, the Christmas Dinner, which my mother made was ruined, courtesy of those two ungrateful twits, because they brought in the neighbor's dogs."

Jo: "Oh, how horrible."

Violet: "And New Year's Eve was an absolute disgrace. Melissa decided to throw this wild party without my permission while Jennifer and I went to my parents house for dinner. At about 10:30pm, I got a call from the police saying that Melissa and her party guests were under the infulence of alcohol and drugs. I was so ashamed. And what was Diana doing? Oh yes, Diana decided to go for a joyride on Mr Parker's motorcycle and ended up going to hospital suffering a gravel rash. She's lucky that Mr Parker didn't press charges and so I made her and Melissa miss the ball drop at Times Square in New York City on TV."

Jo: "That's the worst way to celebrate New Years,"

Violet: "And Easter was a living nightmare caused by Melissa and Diana themselves. The girls and I were at my parents' house for the Easter party and "

Jo: " "

Violet: "And they also ruined Fourth of July by "

Jo: " "

Violet: "And Groundhog Day was destroyed because "

Jo: " "

???: "Come on, hurry, Melissa and Diana!"

Melissa: "Coming, Jessica! Come on, Diana."

Diana: "See you later, losers!!!"

Observation Continues
Diana: "Can Melissa and I have some Wonka bars, please?"

Violet: "No, sweetie, we're going to begin to make and have dinner soon."

Violet: "And then after dinner, I decided to take Melissa and Diana out to pick and buy some birthday presents for Jennifer, who will be turning 7 soon."

Violet: "Have fun with Charlotte, Jennifer!"

Jennifer: "I will!"

[Violet, Melissa, Diana and Jo arrive at the mall]

[Diana shoplifts a pair of earrings]

[Melissa shoplifts a necklace]

[Diana shoplifts a pair of ray bans]

House Rules
Jo: "This family needed some rules in this house."

Jo: "Rule number 1 - Always respect others."

Diana: *scoffs* "Yeah right."

Violet: "Diana, shhh."

Jo: "Rule number 2 - Be home on time."

Melissa: "Kill me now!"

Jo: "Rule number 3 - No violence towards others."

[Jennifer smiles]

Jo: "Rule number 4 - No swearing."

[Melissa rolls her eyes]

Jo: "And finally, rule number 5 - Always sit down at the table to eat."

Dinnertime
Jo: "When Violet returned home from collecting Jennifer from school, she found Melissa and Diana eating Kentucky Fried Chicken and two cheeselovers pizzas from Pizza Hut."

Violet: "Where did you get this junk?"

Melissa: "We got it from KFC and Pizza Hut."

Violet: "How?"

Thought Box
Jo: "I explained the Thought Box technique for Jennifer to share her personal opinions on her family."

Jo: "Jennifer, this is the Thought Box. You can write your own opinions on these little pieces of paper and insert them in the box. Who would you like to share your opinions on?"

Jennifer: "Melissa. She is a bully to me in my opinion. She is so naughty that it's driving me and mommy nuts! I wish I was on vacation without her and Diana!"

One day till Jennifer's Party
Violet: "What theme do you want to have this year?"

Jennifer: "I want a Bratz themed party this year."

Violet: "Great choice!"

On the day of Jennifer's Party
[Jennifer is dressed in a Bratz Cat Costume]

Violet: "We had a mini-makeover, a fashion contest. Each girl was given some lip gloss, eye shadow, hair glitter, blush and body glitter. The girls got to make their own body glitter using fine polyester glitter and clear aloe Vera gel, mixing them together in a cosmetic jar for them to take home as a momento."

Joanna: "NO, MY CAKE!"

Violet: "What's going on?"

Melissa: "Are you ready, Diana? Aim... FIRE!!!!"

Jennifer: "Melissa, Diana, what are you doing?"

[The party guests and their parents scream and run away to their cars]

Jennifer: "Wait, come back! The party's not over yet!"

Jo "MELISSA AND DIANA, GET BACK IN TO THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND GET YOUR CLOTHES ON!"

[Jo and Violet drag Melissa and Diana back indoors and puts them in the Calm Down Zone]

Violet: "I SAID WRITE AN ESSAY!!!!!"

Violet: "NOW!!!!!!!!"

Party Aftermath
Jennifer: "I hate Melissa *sob* and Diana."

Violet: "I'll get your wet costume off and give you a nice hot bath and get you some hot chocolate, okay?"

[Later Violet is childing Melissa and Diana]

[Melissa and Diana reluctantly do as they are told and begin writing their essays and apology letters under Jo's supervision]

Melissa and Diana vs. the Babysitter
Jo: "At home, the girls stayed home with a young babysitter named Charlotte Dumais while Violet was going to meet a man she'd met on an online dating service."

Violet: "I would like to introduce you to some new things that Jo has given me."

Charlotte: "Okay. What are they? I'll have to write them down in my babysitting notebook."

Violet: "Okay, Charlotte, if Melissa and Diana misbehave, give them a warning and if they carry on, you will put them in the Calm Down Zone."

Charlotte: "Where's the Calm Down Zone?"

[Violet shows Charlotte the Calm Down Zone]

Violet: "Melissa will stay in here for 16 minutes and Diana, 12 minutes."

[Charlotte writes down all the information in her babysitting notebook]

Violet: "Now, Dinner Time is at 4:00pm, Diana's Homework Time is at 6:00pm, Jennifer's bathtime is at 8:00pm and her bedtime is at 9.00pm and both Melissa and Diana will have to be in bed at 9:30pm."

[Violet hands Charlotte a long list of emergency numbers]

Violet: "And here's a list of everything else."