Irish Girl Problems

Irish Girl Problems is a fanfiction about Jane O'Connel from her POV and how she talks about the disadvantages of being Irish

Author's note
I do not support either side, this is from Jane's point of view, not mine, do not add sectarian comments in the section, thank you!

Chapter 1: Not supporting the paramilitaries from NI
Before you read this, I do not look down on unionists, British, nationalists, loyalists, republicans or anyone else.

I know what most of you are thinking, this is actually a HUGE disadvantage for me, Their crimes give the Anti-Treaty a run for their money, I generally hate these people who think I support them just because I am from the Republic of Ireland, it's generally f***ing bulls***, my family had faith in all rebels from 1916 until the 1969, where they finally realised the Easter Rising will never be commemorated until 2006, were they realised how horrible they were, My father left Ireland, for good after the hunger strike with his wife and my two brothers, because they didn't want anything to do with the people that burned the British embassy.

I even had Americans say "F*** the Brits" which really p***ed me off, as I do not hate Britain, it has been centuries, I don't need those corrupting words.

I have two best friends from Britain, Scotty, who is from Scotland and Arthur, who is from England, and they are the nicest lads ever.

Chapter 2: Sectarianism
I am not a sectarian person, I love everyone in the country, regardless of language, skin, community, or anything, Artie is a Protestant and I love him, he even agrees Oliver Cromwell went too far.

I even like the British flag, very unusual for an Irish girl living in the Republic, but it's so pretty, I love both flags equally, I once saw a young girl with her parents at the Easter Rising parade in Dublin, I assumed she was from a unionist neighbourhood in the North because she looked very nervous until her mom assured her not all rebels were horrible people that killed for support, she's right, to me, Joseph Plunkett is nothing like these PIRA men, if Joe actually went on a hunger strike, he would be dead in forty days, due to his already emaciated frame, tuberculosis and his immune system wouldn't handle it, I literally hate it when people compare the rebels of the Rising to these people, they not only damage their reputation, they damage the reputation of all Irish people, including the signatories.

Chapter 3: Being assumed that I hate the British.
This is so true, I actually avoid plastic paddies, which is the name given to wannabe Irish-Americans, Make it clear, I do not hate the British, it was over centuries ago, yes, we had Rebellions, but, this doesn't make me hate the British, My favorite rebel song, is Grace, it is about a man, an Irish rebel and his girlfriend getting married hours before the man is executed, it is a very sad song, and when i'm singing the Foggy Dew, I say "Britannia's sons" instead of "huns" because, I actually have British friends and to better relate to Artie.

Chapter 4: Being harassed because you don't support Sinn Féin.
Oh my god, This really angers me, a lot, I once met a Sinn Féin supporter who harassed me because I was reading about the Easter Rising in Northern Ireland, 50% awkward, 100% bad idea, Even though I am Irish, the political parties both North and South are all equally worthless, especially Sinn Féin, nothing but whining and crying like little babies every moment of the day, it's just bickering and a whole lotta clusterf***!

They even CLAIM an event they were never in, and use Republican deaths for profit, the worst case of this is Bobby Sands, even his family don't like them, Sinn Féin, even though I was never really fond of the man himself, you can't help but feel bad for his family, their relatives death being used for electoral support, I was a highly intelligent woman, and I had a great uncle who survived the Easter Rising, and he refused to support Sinn Féin, as he said, "Uptight lying b*****ds" even THOUGH he was on the ANTI-TREATY side, he supported a 32 county, just under a better political party that wasn't them.

Okay, Back to the idiot, he asked that if I supported Sinn Féin and I said no, then gave a very honest and direct approach, like they lie and steal events for political support, support people have had killed thousands, he cried and whined like a baby, dear god....

He said that they were the party for Ireland, and I said that to the over 1,800 lives they killed, and he denied the PIRA killed anyone, I wanted to punch his face clean.

Chapter 5: St. Patrick's Day Plastic Paddies.
Oh, yes, I got to this point, I've met some in America, and believe me, they are worse for me.

Being a twenty-year old Irishwoman and grew up surronded by moderate nationalism most of your life, I was very friendly with British people, unless they were bigoted, one time, Cuong, my BF wasn't well, Cuong is from Vietnam, and he is also twenty-years old, and this Plastic Paddies whined at me because my boyfriend wasn't Irish.

When I went down to the pub with two friends, Arthur, who was English and Scotty, who was Scottish, who are my best friends despite our differences, which was 60% Plastic Paddies, 10% Irish tourists, and 40% People just trying to have a drink.

One of the plastic paddies went up to me when he heard Arthur speak, Arthur speaks with a strong English accent and he isn't Catholic, he's a Protestant and we respect his beliefs, while Scotty was Catholic, but his family didn't come from Ireland, he was Scottish and he had no evidence of Irish family members.

I order apple cider, which is delicious, and the two had the same.

The Plastic Paddy, who was wearing stereotypical Irish c***, like a Celtic shirt, leprechaun hat and a few other things, he told Artie to "go home" and "English people don't belong here", Arthur wasn't too offended and decided to have a bit of fun with him, he told him Patrick Pearse was half-English and asked did making him that made him less Irish.

Scotty found this highly hilarious, and he whispered to me that to tell him James Connolly was born in Scotland to see his reaction, and I told him to tell he married a Protestant, alongside a few other leaders just to see his face.

I was a highly intelligent young woman, I do not hate British people, or the Scots for that matter, the best part about Scotty, he will pretend not to understand English and speaks Scottish Gaelic, which was taught to him when he was a child and he is fluent in it, even though it almost died out, and I will do the same thing with Irish Gaelic.

Chapter 6: The Wolfe Tones.
Don't get me wrong, I love their songs, My favorite is Grace, which is a very sad but a beautiful love song, but there ones that go out of the window, there's that goes like this: "Go On Home British Soldiers, Go On Home, Have you not got any f***ing home of your own? We fought your 800 years and will fight for 800 more, for the 14 men in Derry, you'll never beat the IRA"

I am very sorry to anyone of British descent reading this, I do not support the IRA, I love Britain, okay, back to business, they sometimes sing songs that go way too far for my liking, I do not mind songs about 1916, 1798, BUT singing songs glorifying these people that honestly need a bullet to the head.

Bloody Sunday was a disgrace, my British Army relatives were beyond angry, It really was a disgrace, but does this glorify the Enniskillen bombing, my dad taught me to respect people that did things differently from others,

Chapter 7: Misue of the term: Tiocfaidh ár lá or any republican phrases
I've seen Plastic Paddies Americans in Belfast shout these two phrases out, not knowing the connotation of the terms. In. Public and alot of people got really angry at them, there was this woman that went on how some of her family members died because of the Provos, and I KNOW what the first one means in Irish and I speak Irish myself.

I wish Ireland would be unified, peacefully, but anything but Sinn Féin, it's worthless as f*** and doesn't do jacks*** for both the North and Republic.

The Nationalist people looked rather ashamed and looked very apologetic to the unionist people, the unionist people were p***ed and they demanded they get kicked out of the shopping centre.

I went up to the Americans, who I guessed where NORAID supports, which is a group that supports violence and gave them some advice.

"Never. Praise. The. Provos. In front of everyone, they are nationalist disgraced with their atrocities, unionists consider them terrorists."

A young teen wearing an Easter Lily badge came up to them.

"I do not mind commemorating the Easter Rising and 1798 rebels, but God in heaven forbid if you praise the Provos!" He said.

Chapter 8: Bratty Sectarian kids who cannot respect tradition.
I once saw a teenage boy bullying a teenage girl for having a Somme booklet out, I was very disgusted with him, and I went up to him.

"Why are you picking on her?" I asked with anger.

"This is a CATHOLIC school and she should not be celebrating Hun events." He replied back.

"It doesn't matter! You are not only damaging the reputation of your community, YOU ARE DAMAGING THE REPUTATION OF EVERYONE THAT LIVES IN THE BLOODY REPUBLIC AND FOUGHT FOR IT!" I yelled at him.

"British soldiers killed Catholics and childrne!" He said.

"Provos did the same, over 1,800 people dead." Arthur stated.

"Yes, I see that, but is the 1916 Rising a good excuse to bully this girl?" I replied.

"Yes, her ancestors killed!" He said.

"I had family fighting for the British and Irish." I said then smacked him in the face

The girl was crying, and I decided to comfort her, she seemed only the age of sixteen.

"Hey, sweetheart, can you show me your books?" I replied in a soft voice.

She gave me two books on the Somme and two books on the Easter Rising, whom one was a graphic novel.

"Oh, Blood Upon the Rose, I loved that one too." I said.

"Thank you....I'm a free thinker......" She said with a soft gentle voice.

"What was he saying?" I replied.

"I was not Irish, I was a Black and Tan, demanded I burn my booklet, demanded me to give him my 1916 Rising books, wanted me to take off my poppy, and kept saying those three bad republican words whenever I was trying to read my 1916 books." She said.

The boy's mother came over to me.

"What the h*** is wrong with your kid! Picking on a girl because she's different?!" I scolded her.

"Artie, give me your belt, I'm giving this brat proper discipline." I said to Artie, who was also comforting her.

Arthur, my friend took off his belt and gave it to the boy's mother.

"Did you ever try beating his a**?" Arthur asked in a polite tone.

He then mimicked the movements of a whip.

Then a few minutes later, that brat was covering his sore back with the girl happy with her parents.

Chapter 9: Free Thinking.
This is so true, I once did a social experiment with the TT10 where I sat reading a book about the Easter Rising and a book about Bobby Sands, lots of people approached me and told me to teach them about the leaders of the Rising, seeming to be very fascinated.

But when it gets to topics like Bobby Sands or the PIRA, it's suddenly not OK, when I read a book about him from the same author who did the 1916 graphic novel, I got garbage thrown at me, and this Orange Order man yelled at me, and after it ended, I told him it was just a social experiment and a lot of the people who threw garbage apologised for their behavior.

Chapter 10: Easter Rising memorabilia
Yes, I own memorabilia like a few copies of the Proclamation, pictures of the executed leaders, some paintings, books, artwork and a calender.

I got a few from the Sinn Féin bookshop, even though I dislike Sinn Féin, the bookshop sells some really nice-looking memorabillia.

I got a statue of Séan MacDiarmada, and a dissident tried to steal it from me, claiming that I don't recognise a true Irish republic, I knocked him out.

If I'm buying Irish republican memorabillia, I am very restricted and pretty picky, it cannot have anything with the 1981 hunger strikers on it, or anything associated with the Provos, it needs to be something associated with 1798, IRB, 1916, both pro-Treaty and anti-Treaty, and that's about it, I can also buy CDs, but I check the songs before buying.

Chapter 11: RSF
Dear God, have mercy on my soul, I hate these guys, they refuse to accept the fact that Operation Banner is over, I once went over to one of the lads matching marching and kicked him really hard in the testicles, I got high fives from a few passerbys.

And don't try this at Dublin, DON'T try this, if you stand up to them or question them, they claim you are "harrassing them"

They also want Athlone to be the capital of Ireland because it's in the middle of it, which makes no f***ing sense, the Scots have Edinburgh, which is located EAST in Scotland, It's stupid, I prefer Dublin to be the capital.

Chaptet 12: Rose and Joe Lynch
If you don't know who Rose Lynch is, she's this filthy CIRA w**** who killed an innocent man and defended doing it and her father said the VICTIM was responsible for CIRA deaths, f*** my life, if any of the signatories ever saw this woman, I think none of them would of loved to be near her.

I hate these propaganda sites that claim she's a political prisoner, SHE'S NOT, she is a full blown out killer.

She's not only f***ed the reputation of Irish women, she ruined f***ing everything, she and her father, and the Limerick cumann were so bad that Republican Sinn Féin didn't even want them.

My granddad knew who he was since he lived in Limerick for a few years, and since he despised his extreme views, he told me and my siblings to stay away from him.

If Markievicz ever saw that f***ing b****, she would deny that she was ever that she was ever a member of Cumann na nBam.

I don't think a lot of Irish people would love her either.

This w**** and her father are NOT, I tell you, NOT republicans, they are murderous a**holes who cannot accept the fact that we don't want the north.

My granddad despised Joe Lynch, calling him a "drug dealer", and called his daughter a "little brat", my sisters stayed away from her, the split and her were the reasons they quit.