Michaela stabs Noel with a knife and beheads Tabitha

Michaela lacerates Noel
Michaela: "That oughta kill him!"

[Noel is watching Yogi Bear on TV with his Woody Woodpecker plush toy in the room when he sees Michaela]

Michaela: "Noel..."

Noel: "Yes, Michaela?"

Michaela: "It's time for you to die!"

Noel: (nervously) "I don't want to die."

[Michaela lunges at Noel with a kitchen knife, but Noel runs away with his sister chasing him]

Noel: "Mummy, help me!"

[Noel dashes into his bedroom and crawls under his bed to hide]

[Michaela finds him, and pulls him out from under the bed]

Noel: "Let me go! Stop it, please!"

[Michaela stabs Noel with the knife in the left leg]

Noel: (wailing) "MUMMY!!!!"

Tabitha: "Oh my god! Noel, what happened to your leg?"

Noel: "Michaela did this to me!"

[Tabitha's anger explodes at Michaela]

Tabitha: "MICHAELA DAGMAR BRITIANA! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR 1 WHOLE YEAR!"

[We see a Woody Woodpecker plush covered in Noel's blood]

[Michaela moves the knife to the right leg]

Noel: (wailing in pain) "MUMMY!"

Tabitha: "CONRAD, CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

[Conrad picks up his iPhone and dials the number "911"]

911 Dispatcher: "Hello?"

Conrad: "Excuse me, my son Noel has a knife stabbed through his left leg. He is wailing because he was badly injured."

911 Dispatcher: "OK, we will summon an ambulance shortly. Thanks."

Tabitha's death
Michaela: "Off with your head!"

Tabitha: "What are you doing?"

[Michaela cuts Tabitha's head off]

[Tabitha is dead]

Kathryn: "Mom! Have you seen my--oh my god...Dad!"

Conrad: "What is it? Oh my god... why is Tabitha's head off?"

Kathryn: "Michaela did this to her."

Conrad: "Michaela, why would you do such a thing? You are grounded for 3 months!"

Michaela: (scoffs) "SHE'S A MEAN GIRL!"

[Conrad's anger explodes at Michaela]

Conrad: "MICHAELA DAGMAR BRITIANA! GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

Michaela: "If you dare snitch me to the police, I'll kill you, too! And the whole family!"

Tabitha's funeral
Priest: "My friends, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to Tabitha Wilhemina Britiana. She was the kind of woman who..."

[Michaela takes a dump on the casket]

Kathryn: "Michaela!"

[Michaela dances around the casket naked]

Conrad: "MICHAELA DAGMAR BRITIANA!"

Tabitha's sister: "MY LORD!"

[Tabitha's sister faints on Tabitha's mother's arms]

[Michaela steals the valuable vases and throws them at Tabitha's twin sister]

Tabitha's twin sister: "Oh, my lord!"

Michaela: "Drop dead, (bleep)!"

Tabitha's mother: "My word..."

Kathryn: "Michaela, you put your clothes back on!"

Michaela: "SHUT UP!!!"

Conrad: "Michaela, my god! This is so embarrassing!"

Michaela: "SHUT UP SMELLY!!!!!"

Tabitha's twin sister: "Oh, my word!"

[Michaela changes the music to a P!nk song with questionable lyrics]

Tabitha's twin sister: "Mother, do something!"

Tabitha's mother: "I wish I could do something, Judith, but..."

Back home
Conrad: "Michaela, I have never been so embarrased in my life! We held a funeral for your mother because of you! Your behavior at the funeral was very embarrasing and abysmal! I am never taking you to another funeral, ever! Stay in your room for the rest of the evening! You are grounded for 6 months!"

Michaela: "(bleep) YOU!"

Conrad: "If you talk back to me, I will double your grounding time to a month."

Michaela: "I'm already grounded for 6 months you moron."

Conrad: "My bad. If you talk back to me, I will double your grounding time to a year."

Michaela: "Well, mom is a mean girl and Noel is annoying!"

Conrad: "Just because you think Noel is annoying and that your mother was mean, doesn't mean you can lacerate Noel or behead your mother!"