Hansen Family/Transcript

Naughty Couch Technique
Jo: "Later on, Sandra was preparing lunch for the family. But Kelly, didn't like what was on the menu."

Kelly: What is that?

Sandra: A turkey sandwich.

Kelly: "I HATE TURKEY! IT TASTES LIKE (bleep)!"

[Kelly pushes the plate aside]

Jo: "The way she just spoke to you was totally unacceptable. Go over to her and give her a warning for that behavior."

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! This is your warning. If you do not eat that sandwich or continue to talk to Mommy like that, you will be sent to the Naughty Couch, and in addition, I will be taking away one of your Monster High dolls. Is that clear?"

[Kelly throws the sandwich at Sandra]

Jo: When Kelly decided to throw the sandwich at Sandra, she was put straight onto the Naughty Couch.

Sandra: "You are on this couch because you are not behaving nice. You will sit on the couch for 6 minutes!"

[Sandra confiscates Kelly's Monster High Draculaura doll]

[Sandra and Jo walk off]

Kelly: "JO-JO IS A MONKEY!!!"

[Kelly flips Jo off]

[Sandra confiscates Kelly's Monster High Skull Shores Lagoona Blue doll]

Sandra: "Stop it, Kelly!"

Jo: "Just ignore that."

[Kelly gets up off the couch]

Jo: "Put her straight back onto that couch and don't say anything to her at all."

Jo: Little did we know, Kelly had a few tricks up her sleeve.

[Kelly locks herself in the bathroom as Sandra goes to get her]

Sandra: "Kelly Ann! Unlock this bathroom door right now!!!"

Kelly: "NO!!!! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!"

Sandra: "I'm your mother. You have to follow the rules."

Jo: Sandra was just negotiating with Kelly. So, I decided to step in and deal with the situation.

Jo: "Kelly. If you do not unlock the door by the time I count to three, I will be confiscating your Bratz dolls and I will be putting you into your bedroom where you will stay for the rest of the day. Trust me Kelly. I'm not joking. 1, 2, 2 and a half, 2 and three-quarters..."

Sandra: "Jo counted down to 3, but when we unlocked the door, Kelly wasn't there."

Jo: "Kelly!"

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen!"

Jo: "Kelly had snuck out of the bathroom through the window and she took off."

Toy Confiscation Box Technique
Jo: "Later that morning, Kelly decided to write on Mom's mirror with her lipstick."

[Kelly is in the bathroom with her mother's red lipstick, writing profanity on the mirror]

Kelly: "Die, you mother(bleep)ing (bleep), die!"

[Matt walks past the bathroom and sees Kelly doing this]

Matt: "Mom! Kelly's writing on your mirror with your lipstick!"

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! I'm taking away your Bratz dolls and putting them in the Toy Confiscation Box."

[Kelly then kicks Matt's leg]

Kelly: "Snitch!"

Matt: Ow! Moooom! Kelly kicked me!"

Sandra: "Right. Now you've lost your Nintendo 3DS and it's going into the confiscation box."

[Kelly then smashes the mirror which causes Jo to step in]

Kelly: (to Sandra) "I hate you, Mom, and I wish you were dead!"

[Sandra and Jo gasp in shock]

Jo: "Kelly! Come here right now!"

[Kelly smacks Jo in the face]

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! That's it! Now I'm taking away all of your Monster High dolls and they are all going into the Toy Confiscation Box for the rest of the day!"

Kelly: "Don't care SANDRA!"

[Kelly flips off her mother]

Sandra: "All right, that does it. Now I'm taking away your bike!"

[Kelly throws the bike at Sandra before running off into the street]

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen, come back here this instant! Get out of the street! NOW!"

Kelly: "SHUT UP!"

Jo: "Kelly just bolted down the street and Sandra just stood there. So, I said to her 'You've got to catch that girl.'"

Jo: "You've got to catch that girl."

Sandra: "After fifteen minutes, I FINALLY caught up with Kelly."

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen! You are coming back in the house this second!"

Kelly's Dinner meltdown
[Sandra is fixing salmon for dinner]

Jo: "At dinner, Sandra fixed a lovely salmon. However, Kelly wanted chicken wedges."

Sandra: "No, we're having salmon, and that's that."

Kelly: (whining) "We never eat anything I want!!"

Sandra: "Kelly Ann Hansen, stop your whining or I'm taking away your Monster High dolls."

[Kelly hits Sandra]

Sandra: "When Kelly hit me, I put her straight on the Naughty Couch."

[Sandra confiscates Kelly's Monster High dolls]

Sandra: "You do not hit me! That is not acceptable, now you stay on this couch and don't get up until I say so!"

[Kelly escapes and throws cushions at Sandra]

Sandra: "OW! Kelly!"

Jo: "Tell her in an authoritive voice that she must pick up those cushions as soon as she's finished the time out."

[6 minutes later]

Sandra: "Say sorry to me."

Kelly: "NO!!!"

Sandra: "Then you'll stay on this couch."

Jo: "An hour passed and Kelly was still resisting!"

[60 minutes later]

Kelly: "MOMMY IS A LIAR!!!"

Sandra: "Kelly..."

Kelly: "MOMMY IS A (bleep)!"

[Sandra raises her voice]

Sandra: "KELLY ANN HANSEN!!!!"

Kelly: "WHAT IS IT? SANDRA MARIE HANSEN!!!!

Jo: "Finally, after an agonizing two hours, Sandra finally got an apology from Kelly."

Kelly: "I'm sorry, Mommy..."

Kelly vs. Jo
Jo: "Later on, Kelly wanted to go to Chuck E Cheeses with her friends."

Kelly: "Can I go to Chuck E Chesses with Crystal, Mary-Michaela and Lauren please?"

Sandra: "Not today, because we are shopping for your sister's upcoming birthday party."

Kelly: "You always let Alison and Matt go with their friends! You're mean!"

Sandra: "Kelly..."

[Jo comes down to Kelly's level]

Alison's Sweet 16 Birthday Disaster
Jo: "The next day was Alison's birthday, and she was having a Sweet 16 princess-themed party with all of her friends from the school cheerleading team."

[Alison is wearing a shirt strapless silver sequined dress with a fuchsia pink sash around the waist]