Lester gets sent to Military School

Barbara's Decision


Barbara: "Lester. I do not like your behavior at Behavior Modification Camp. You did numerous bad deeds there. Because of this, you will be sent to military school."

Lester: "Military school sucks!"

Barbara: "Do not reply back to me like this. You need to get your stuff ready and go there."

Lester: "ALRIGHT!"

(Lester gets his stuff ready)

Barbara: "Better hurry up, before the sprinklers come on"!

Lester: "OKAY!"

(5 minutes later)

Barbara: Now let's go!

(they arrive in London)

Barbara: "The next time when you come home from military school, I don't want to see you talk to me like that. Do you understand me?"

Lester: "Yes, ma'am, Mom."

Barbara: "Good."

(she drives off)

1 day after Lester has left for Military School
[Eliza, Maybel and Barbara are shopping at the Battlefield Mall]

Eliza: "I want an iPhone 6S!"

Barbara: "Okay, let's get this first."

(Eliza grabs it and pays it)

(they leave the Battlefield Mall)

Meanwhile, back at military school...

Man: "What? Drop and give me 20 push-ups right now."

Lester: "Why?"

Man: "Every time you don't say "Yes sir" you get 20 push-ups.

Lester: "You didn't tell me that before!"

Man: "That's 40 push-ups."

Lester: "You didn't tell me that before!"

Man: "That's 40 push-ups. Drop and give me right now."

Lester: "You said 20!"

Man: You just done yourself 60 push-ups. Is that understood?"

Lester: "60?!"

Man: 60 push-ups right now or your whole squad does push-ups."

Lester: "I would rather them do it with me."

Man: "They are gonna hate you. They are gonna beat you up. You do 60 push-ups right now."

Lester: "Come on, guys, do it with me!"

Man: "Just you, 60 push-ups. Get down. GET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You get down here and get me 60 push-ups."

Lester: "How do I do a push-up?"

Man: "You better learn, get down. 1 tubby tubby. 2 tubby tubby."

Lester: "Why are you calling young man?"

Man: "I can call you whatever I want. Get down there. give me push-ups. 3 tubby tubby. 4 tubby tubby. This is gonna take all day. Get up! GET UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(Lester gets up)

Man: "Who told you to get back up?"

Lester: "You did!"

Man: "Did I tell him to get back up?"

All: "No, sir."

Man: "No I did not. (speaking through his teeth) Get back down there."

Lester: You told me to get back up!"

Man: "Get down there. Give me push-ups. Get down there calling me a liar in the edge of the squad. You're doing push-ups right now."

Lester: "You told me to get back up!"

Man: "Give me some push-ups right now. 1 tubby tubby. We're starting over. 2 tubby tubby. 3 tubby tubby. Squirm around. 4 tubby tubby. Keep moving. I didn't say stand get your behind in that dirt. Alright everyone you do not want to be like him. You are going to stay here in this military school until I have satisfied that you have learned a lesson. Is that understood?"

All: "Yes sir."

(Lester gets up)

3 days after Lester has left for Military School
Barbara: "How was school and band, Elize?"

Eliza: "Great!"

Barbara: "Can you tell me about it? Let's start with school first, and then the band."

Eliza: "Well, at school, I made the State of Georgia flag during the art at class time, but then I had to go to the bathroom and pee-pee. But then at 2:30, we had snack time. It took us for the last 30 minutes. At 3:00 we had band time. At band time, they were lot of kids going on at the pregame, they tried to go crazy and go commence at one of the football games, and then I tried to play the drums, but it worked. The horns started to play now, but then the football time is still in progress. But is that okay?"

Barbara: "(nods head) Yes. Your father will be home by 4. And now it's 3:37."

5 days after Lester hass left for Military School
Lester: "Go to hell, you filthy son of a b(bleep)!"

Man: "You just got 20 jumping jacks, young man!"

[Lester reluctantly starts doing pushups, while the officer counts for every jumping jack]

Man: "1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...11...12...13...14...15...16...17...18..."

[Lester bites the officer]

Man: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

1 week after Lester has left
[The Simpson Family (minus Lester) are at Silver Springs Park]

Max: "What shall we do first?"

Barbara: "Let's take a walk!"

[Barbara straps Maybel in her stroller]

Cut to:

Lester (screeching): "I WANT MY PS VITA, PLAYSTATION 4, WII U, AND XBOX ONE! GAMES INCLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDED!"

Man: (angrily) "Jesus Christ. Everybody's running in that obstacle right now so help me God you better complete in 60 seconds. GO!"

(Hawaiian guy seen)

(Lester get over the wooden sideways pole)

Lester: "Look at all this barbed wire! Can I have a Capri-Sun?"

Man: "A Capri-Sun? How 'bout I get you some Debbie Cakes too young man? Go! Move!"

Lester: "(does an obstacle course) What am I supposed to do now?"

Man: "You get up that wall, young man! MOVE!"

(Lester falls)

Man: "Ain't that the sorriest private I've ever seen?"

Lester: "I got to the top!"

Man: "Congratulations we still have a lot of obstacles left. Go! Move!"

(a rope)

Man: "You get up that rope right now! GO!"

(Lester falls)

Man: "You squirt hot sauce in your eyes or I'm gonna make you watch It's Worth Seeing Again."

Lester: "Gimme it."

Man: "Don't you cry. Now move that rock."

(Lester moves a rock)

Man: "If your mom can get out of bed that rock can move. Alright, young man crawl in there. Move."

(more poles)

Man: "Jump up. Alright, there are more explosions in the field."

(Lester jumps up)

(Hawaiian guy dies and is revealed by the man)

(the girl dies)

Man: "Congratulations. I did not think you were gonna make it. You gotta climb this rope, budster."

Lester: "Again?!"

Man: "Yep. GO!"

(Lester does an obstacle course for the first time)

Lester: "I touched the top! Can I go to bed please?"

Man: "Not yet. You gotta run 9 more times!"

Lester: "9 MORE TIMES?!"

(Lester does an obstacle course 9 more times)

10 days after Lester has left
[Barbara takes Maybel and Eliza to the Springfield Art Museum]

(Barbara paints a flower)

(Maybel paints a book)

(Eliza paints a state of Maine)

Barbara: "Thanks girls!"

Girls: "Your're welcome!"

2 weeks after Lester has left
Lester: "Shut up you... fucking idiot!"

Man: "Run 3 laps around the track, on the double, Simpson!"

Lester: "F(bleep) OFF! I AIN'T RUNNING AROUND THE TRACK!!!!"

Man: "6 laps now!"

Lester: "No!"

Man "9!"

Lester: "No!"

Man: "12!"

Lester: "No!"

Man: "15!"

Lester: "NO!"

Man: "18!"

Lester: "NO!"

Man: "21!"

Lester: "NO!"

Man: "24!"

Lester: "NO!"

Man: "27!"

Lester: I'm! Not! Doing! The! F(bleep)ing! LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Man: "30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Lester: "SAY ALL THE NUMBERS YOU WANT!!!!!"

Man: "33, YOU REALLY WILL DO THEM, UNDERSTAND, SIMPSON?!?!?!"

Lester: "LIE!!!!"

6 weeks after Lester has left
[Max, Maybel, Barbara and Eliza are spending the day at Dickerson Park Zoo]

Barbara: "Which animal would you like to see first?"

Eliza: "Lion!"

Barbara: "Okay!"

(they see the lion)

(the lion roars loudly)

(Barbara covers her ears)

(the lion roars more loudly)

Barbara: "The lion has ticked us off! Can we find another animal?"

Maybel: "Snake!"

Barbara: "Okay. It goes hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss."

(they find the snake laying on his bed with a pillow and a quilt)

Max: "I like this snake!"

Barbara: "Agree to that. Now let's find another animal. Maybel?"

Maybel: "(no response)"

Barbara: "Can you find another animal, Maybel?"

Maybel: "(still no response)"

Barbara: "Now will you find another animal?"

Maybel: "Tree frog!"

Barbara: "Alright! (scratches her hair because it was getting itchy)"

(the Simpsons found the tree frog, whose name is Micky)

Barbara: "Okay. Let's find another tree frog!"

(they find another tree frog, whose name is Freedom)

Freedom: "(ribbit)"

Barbara: "Okay, she's okay."

Zoo Woman: "So, this tree frog from Maine look fine, but back in the '50s and '60s, the Boston Zoo used the tree frogs for tree frogs environments. We zoo people protested and begged for the government to do there testing somewhere else because of how much of an impact it had on the animals, but they just kept running away! In fact, some of the animals are still contaminated to this day! So what I want you to do, is to note the frog! These tree frogs will help make the tree frogs safer much quicker and the frogs will be safe for humans and people to look."

Barbara: "Alright, Max, what animal would you like?"

Max: "Tiger!"

Barbara: "Okay!"

Meanwhile, back at military school....

Man: "ALRIGHT YOUNG MAN! YOU'RE GONNA RUN WITH 3 BILLION LAPS!"

Lester: "Okay!"

2 months after Lester has left
Lester: "Get...lost, you stupid b(bleep)!"

Man: "Do 3 billion laps! Ready set go! 1...2...3...4...5...6...7... (continues counting)

(3 billion laps later)

Man: THANK YOU SIR I HAVE MY ACCEPTIONS ON YOU!

At America, Inc....

Japanlover86: "Phew! That was a long day! I've done 5,374,954 missions today!"

Police Officer: "Boss! This city is in deep trouble!"

Japanlover86: "This is the LAST time I'm saving someone today. What's my mission and my cut?"

Police Officer: "Your mission is to commit suicide from Texas! Your cut is 95,000 notes!"

Japanlover86: "I'm on it!"

Barbara gets a call
[Barbara and Eliza are playing Parcheesi]

Barbara: "Eliza, your turn, honey."

[Phone rings]

Barbara: "Sorry, Eliza but I'll be right back."

[Barbara lifts the reciever]

Barbara: "Hello, Simpsons residence?"

Sgt. Melissa Patrick: "Are you Mrs Simpson?"

Barbara: "That's my name!"

Sgt. Melissa Patrick: "Your son Lester is completely rebellious and out of control!"

Barbara: "What the---? What did he do?"

Sgt. Melissa Patrick: "He bit the officer, complained about games that we don't allow, and more!"

Barbara: "Thanks for telling me! He is so in deep trouble when he gets home!"

When Lester got home

Barbara: "Lester! You are in ultra trouble sir! I can't believe you misbehaved at military school! You are grounded for.......................1 YEAR! No TV, no movies, no video games, no computer, no jogging, no jumping, no food, no drinks, no MySpace, no Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram, no school, no iPod, no iPad, no talking, no crying and more! GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!"

(Lester goes to his room and has a severe meltdown)

Barbara: "(even more angry) HEY! KEEP IT DOWN!!!"