The Best Christmas/Transcript

Freddy
[We see current opening logo of either Dreamworks (US theather and intl home video) or Columbia Pictures (Intl Theather and Us home video)]

[We see the words in a Times New Roman Font in Sky Blue under a snowy background "Dreamworks Presents" (or Columbia Pictures), followed by the title of the film]

Narrator (older Freddy): "I'm Freddy, As a young boy, I begged for joy and cheer of a wonderful holiday season a long time ago."

Narrator: "There I was, in front of a utopia of fun and playtime..."

[We see kids in front of the toy store window including Freddy]

Narrator: "I could not resist entering that store."

[The kids and Freddy run into the toy store while screaming in joy]

[Freddy catches an eye of a BB Gun]

Narrator:The moment I've been waitng for was the BB gun!

Do You Know What I Want?
[Freddy's family watches a NHL game with the Pittsburgh Penguins playing against the St.Louis Blues]

Dad: This is Mario Lemuiex's last game so this is a very important one to the Pittsburgh Penguins fans.

Reporter (on TV): "St. Louis Blues are beating the Penguins with a score of 3 to 0!"

Dad: "You can do this...."

(The St. Louis Blues score a goal)

Dad: "Oh! So close!"

Eliza:Come on Weight!

Josh:Doug Weight, you're stupid!

Orla: Poo-poo!

Narrator: "We were a dysfunctional family like the Simpsons when we watched the Penguins getting beaten by another hockey team we completely hated!"

Freddy:Marc Andre Fleury deserved that save!

Mom:Calm down and watch the game guys!

Freddy: "Let's go Sidney JACK**S!"

[We see the ST.LOuis Blues scoring another goal)

[We see Freddy's family getting bored]

[The game is over and the Penguins lose]

Freddy (to Dad): "I can't believe they lost! By the way, unlike when you grew up, Mario Lemiuex is s**t"

Dad: "Come on, kid. You can't say that but let's have some Wendy's for lunch."

[The family is at Wendy's]

Freddy (to Mom): "Do you know what I want for Christmas?"

Mom: What?

Freddy: "I would like a BB gun! It's so cool!"

Mom:You'll shoot your eye out,son.

Narrator: "OH NO! The mom-block tagline for the B.B Gun!"

Narrator: I was dreaming of myself when I got home of having a B.B Gun!

Daydreaming about the BB Gun
Narrator: "I was wishing for a BB Gun for years. In fact, I daydreamed about it while I was at school."

Mrs. Foxworth (Freddy's teacher): "Class, what is 15 times 9?"

[We cut to Freddy who is staring at the board and then the camera fade into his dream]

[We see Mom,Dad,Josh,Eliza and Orla hiding under the couch]

[We see bad guys such as Joker from Batman,Green Goblin from Spider-Man, Al Capone from Tintin in America and Lex Luthor from Superman]

[We see Freddy in a Indiana Jones costume,barging into the door]

Freddy:What's going on here?

Mom:HELP! Al Capone is back!

Freddy:OK, I'll fight'em!

[Freddy goes out and sees the bad guys]

Joker:You'll never get us Indy!

Lex Luthor:Yeah with your dopey Marshmallow gun!

Freddy:Now I have a secret weapon!

[Freddy shoots all the bad guys except for AL Capone]

Al Capone: I'll be back you ret***ed b**ch but I'll have new goons!

[Al Capone runs away]

Mrs.Foxworth:Freddy! Freddy!

Freddy:What?

Mrs.Foxworth:The period is over,now you may go to reading with Mrs.Robertson.

Narrator: Yeah, I was in to deep. Chickening out meant having LA suicide with Mrs.Robertson for reading and Mr.Day for English. Science suicide woth Ms.Hayash and Social Sucide (really it's Social Studies) with Mr.Giles,the baldest and fattest teacher in the world.

[After school Freddy gets home]

[Freddy barges in the door]

Mom:How was school Freddy?

Freddy: Uh,it was fine.

Mom:Remember,we have to pick up Orla from preschool right after Eliza gets off the elementary school bus.

Narrator: Why???? Shouldn't I have stayed home and sneak up to watch Cartoon Network? Cartoon Network was my favorite channel. On Friday Nights me,Eliza and Orla would watch a show or movie on Cartoon Network.

Mom:After we pick up Orla from preschool,you and Eliza have the play tonight so get dressed NOW!

The Pageant
(We see the front of a school)

Kids singing: "Christmas tree, my Christmas tree, lit up like a star..."

Mom:

Dad:

Josh: "Orla, Freddy's solo on It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas is coming up."

Freddy (singing): "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go. Take a look at the five and-"

(Freddy trips over the microphone wire)

Eliza:GOD**N FREDDY!

(Everybody starts laughing except Freddy's family)

Kid singing (played by Lauren Durrant): "Christmas tree, my Christmas tree, lit up like a---"

(Freddy looks up at Eliza and smacks her in the face repeatedly and then takes a hard punch)

Freddy: "You'll shoot your eye out,(bleep)!"

(Everybody except Freddy falls on the stage)

(One person gets hit on the Christmas tree)

Dad: "FREDDY!"

(The curtains begin to shut down with surprised Freddy)

(We see a 5 second shot of Freddy's face)

Apology
Freddy: "Everyone, I'm sorry for what I did at the pageant today. Forgive me already, will ya?"

Mom:Well other than the apology you added 3+3=6 to the behavior chart which means you have to do an essay go to your room and you're grounded for a day!

Freddy:WHY?!

Mom:

Freddy:

Mom

[Freddy runs into his room]

Narrator:

The Video Game Codes and the Writing Assignment
Narrator:When I got home from school the next day I wanted to turn on the radio to my favorite radio program "Cheat Coders Split". I was gonna listen to the cheats of We Love Katamari,Animal Crossing:Wild World which I got at GameStop which I got last week,Donkey Kong Jungle Beat,Batman Begins,Madden NFL 06,The Matrix:Path of Neo,Star Fox Assault,LEGO Star Wars,Medal of Honor:European Assault,Marvel Nemesis:Rise of Imperfects and Physchonauts."

Radio Annoucer:

[Freddy writes down the codes immediatley as the radio annoucer says]

[Freddy goes downstairs in the TV room along with his Nintendo DS]

Narrator:

[Freddy turns on the Fat PS2]

[Freddy starts playing We Love Katamari,Batman Begins,LEGO Star Wars,The Matrix:Path of Neo and Physchonauts]

Dad:Get out of the TV, Freddy. It's Orla's TV time.

Freddy:I'M BUSY! DIDN'T YOU FORGET THERE WAS A TV UP STAIRS AND IN ELIZA'S ROOM?!

Dad:But the TV upstairs dose'nt play Nick Jr.. It plays TBS,Comedy Central and all the adult channels. Plus,Eliza's TV is her property now.

Narrator: I wished we never rearrange our rooms because over the summer some dopey Home Depot guys and Dad rearranged the bedrooms so now mine is upstairs with Mom and Dad, along with Josh.

Freddy (thinking):

Dad:ORLA'S TV TIME IS NOW! FREDDY! YOU HAVE PEER!

Freddy:I'LL BE HERE IN AN MOMENT!

[Freddy turns off the Fat PS2 and turns on the GameCube and plays Donkey Kong Jungle Beat,Madden NFL 06,Star Fox Assault,Medal of Honor and Marvel Nemesis]

Narrator:Great. Now it was Josh's TV time and I was at Level 3:Nanny for behavior. I had to get that special prize,I had to!

Freddy:

Dad:

[Freddy turns off the GameCube and turns on to his DS to play Mario Kart DS and Animal Crossing: WIld World]

Dad:

Freddy

Dad:

Freddy:

{The game cheats are done but Freddy turns the Cheat Code Prize Machine on the computer but there is no $10,0000,000 dollar winner, just a boring prize (a space for cheats)]

Narrator:

Freddy (to Josh):Now it's your TV time,idiot!

Josh:

[We cut to Freddy's school]

Narrator:Back in school,I had English with Mr.Day,the coolest teacher in Pennsylvania. But this one went to far.

Mr.Day:Now class, we will do an writing assignemt that is.....

Students:

Mr.Day:What you want for Christmas!

Students:YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

Narrator:My mind went "POP"! I was gonna write about the BB Gun that I wanted.

Mr.Day: I expect the writing assignment due on Friday.

Narrator:

[We cut to Freddy's room who is thinking of ideas]

Freddy:

Freddy:

Freddy [writing]:

[On Friday, we see kids in Mr.Day's class including Freddy handind out their assignments.

Mr.Day:

Nutcracker
Dad: (calling loudly to the children, except Eliza, from downstairs) "Freddy, "

Mum: "Your cousins and your grandparents will arrive shortly."

Getting a Christmas Tree
[The family arrives via car to a tree farm called Uncle Paul's Pick-a-Tree]

[A the owner of the tree farm named Mr. Watson shows up]

Mr. Watson: (to Dad) "Good tidings, sir. How can I help you?"

Dad: "We are looking for the perfect Christmas tree we can afford."

Mr. Watson: "Go ahead. Pick one for yourself."

[The family wanders around many different Christmas trees]

[Freddy looks up at an approximately 20 foot tall Christmas tree]

Freddy: "HOLY C***! IT'S HUGE! LET'S PICK THAT TREE!"

Mom: "Freddy, honey, I'm afraid we can't afford that tree. The price says that it's $1699. We don't have enough because we have a measly $760. Besides, that tree is too big to fit in our living room. Oh, how about we can buy this $600 7-foot-tall tree instead? We have that much money to pay for it."

Freddy: "I WANT THE BIG TREE!"

Orla: (to her other siblings except Freddy) "Guys, please don't tell me that Freddy is being like a boy Veruca Salt!"

Oh Fudge...
(The tree falls off fence)

Freddy: "Oh...fudge..."

(Dad stares at Freddy)

Dad: "What did you say, Freddy?"

Freddy: "Fudge...."

(Dad and Freddy get in the car)

Mom:8 minutes

Dad:Actually 5 minutes,you know why?

Mom:Why?

Dad: "Freddy said something that he shouldn't say."

Mom/Orla/Josh/Eliza: "What is it?"

Dad: "Ready Eliza,Josh,Orla, and Marie? 1...2...3"

(Dad whispers to everyone in the family except Freddy)

(Mom screams)

Freddy: "What's the big deal? I thought fudge wasn't a swear word."

Dad: "Son, it's close to one, however."

Dinner
[Everyone is at Ms.Short's dining room]

Ms. Short: "Christmas dinner is served."

[We see many Christmas-related dinner foods on the table]

Blackout
[A large blizzard is blowing through the town]

[A stronger wind blows down a power line, eventually causing a power outage]

[Cut to: the Shorts' household everyone is screaming in the living room]

Orla: "I can't see, dad! I'm as blind as a bat!"

Ms. Short: "Remain calm, everybody. I will try and get out a flashlight."

[Ms. Short gets out a flashlight and tries to turn it on, but to no avail]

Ms. Short: "Oh dear, it must be broken. I will get a candle instead."

[Ms. Short lights a candle and walks back to the living room with it]

Eliza: "LIGHT!"

Snow Day
Mom: "Kids, wake up, time for fun in the snow!"

Josh/Freddy/Eliza/Orla: "YAAAAAAAAAY!"

[The 4 children race downstairs and get dressed in their winter clothing]

[They also get their sleds in the garage]

Freddy: "Last one to the snow is a poopy-butt!" (Blows raspberry)

[The 4 run to the snowy grounds and go up a hill to slide down it on their sleds and they stop at the top]

Freddy and Eliza: "ON YOUR D*** MARKS, GET SET, GOOOOOOOOO!"

[All 4 children begin sliding down the hill on their sleds]

Gingerbread House
Mom: "Let's make and decorate some gingerbread houses!"

Josh: "Cool! It's gonna be sweet, literally!"

Who the?....
[Freddy wakes up first at 4:00 AM and steals Josh's Warheads Super Sour Spray Candy]

[Freddy eats his breakfast, brushes his teeth,and gets dressed]

[Freddy makes his own lunch,stuffs all of his school stuff including the lunchbox in the backpack and then puts it on the stairs]

[Freddy takes out the Warheads spray and then sprays it around the kitchen]

[Then he sprays it downstairs with the gaming room and the bathroom]

Freddy:Done.

[At 6:00 AM,everyone is awake. Josh gets ready for high school,Dad is perparing for work,Mom is making Pop Tarts and Eggo Waffles,Eliza is eating Apple Jacks, and Orla is watching a Dora the Explorer episode called ]

Dad:See you kids at dinner.

Josh:You too!

[Mom sniffs]

Mom:I smell something.

Josh:My Warheads spray!

Mom:Really?

Josh:Yes! I didn't do it

Mom:Freddy then.

Freddy (with Spanish accent):Don't fool me. I didn't do it.

Mom:Did you do it Freddy?

Freddy:No

Mom:Yes

Freddy:Uh,no

Mom:GO TO YOUR ROOM AFTER SCHOOL!

Parade
[We see Freddy's family at a local Christmas parade]

[Red and green confetti and streamers flutter down from the air]

[Cheering from people can be heard in the background]

At Church
Dad: "Freddy, are you dressed yet to go to church?"

Freddy: "I'm in my PJs."

Dad: "Then get dressed. I am expecting you to be dressed in 30 minutes."

I got the BB Gun and PSP!
Freddy: "YES! I GOT THE BB GUN AND THE PSP! WOO-HOO!"

End
[The kids go to bed with their presents with Freddy with his BB gun not loaded, Josh with his new hockey stick, Eliza with a nutcracker doll and Orla with a Babo and Ox Uglydoll plush]

Freddy (to Josh):Do you think your Christmas was the best this year?

Josh:Um the best one was probably when I was your age.

Freddy (chuckling):Well wait till Christmas 2006.

Narrator: