Cooke Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny,"

Kyle: "Monica, go to the Naughty Rectangle this minute, young lady!"

Monica: "You are the worst person ever, daddy!"

Announcer: "Jo heads off to Michigan to stop a three-year-old terror from tearing apart the house."

Kyle: "You do not kick your brother, that wasn't nice."

Announcer: "She is as aggressive as a rabid dog..."

[Monica scratches Kyle]

Kyle: "Do not scratch me, thank you."

Announcer: "...and she might be too hard to handle."

[Monica throws her Webkinz Penguin plush toy at Kara]

Announcer: "Dad is struggling to discipline his daughter the right way."

[Kyle carries Monica to the Naughty Rectangle]

Kyle: "You don't destroy your siblings' property!"

Announcer: "Every day, it turns into a big battle..."

Kyle: "No, we are not having cookies for tonight."

Announcer: "..when Monica demands for her own way."

Kyle: "I am not going to take you to the movies until you behave, Monica."

Monica: "BUT I WANT TO!"

Announcer: "When it comes to eating, she refuses to eat anything that is healthy."

Monica: "I DON'T WANT ANY VEGGIES!"

Announcer: "Plus, running errands can be a nightmare with the terrifying tyke..."

[Monica shoplifts a Barney plush]

Announcer: "Can Jo Frost change things for the better..."

[Monica hits Robbie in the eye with a golf club]

Kyle: "Leave your brother alone."

Announcer: "...or will Monica send her packing?"

Monica: "SUPERNANNY IS AN IDIOT!"

Submission Reel
Jo: "So, I'm in Morrice, Michigan, ready to help a single 23-year-old father who has 4 children and desperately needs my help. Why not join me here and take a peek?"

Kyle: "Hi, I'm Kyle Cooke. I'm a movie actor who stars in a lot of films. I'm a 23-year-old single father of four children, three girls and a boy. My oldest and my firstborn, daughter, Danielle is 4 1/2, Kara is also 4 1/2 and the twins, daughter, Monica and son, Robbie are 3 1/2. I named Danielle after her late mother whom we lost in a car accident 6 months ago, and Kara after her late mother whom we lost in leukemia a year ago. I named my daughter, Monica after one of my cousin's friends and Robbie, my son, well, his name is short for Robert, but some people and I call him Robbie. I named him after a friend's nephew."

Monica: "DADDY, COME BACK!"

[Monica screams at the top of her lungs]

Kyle: "I, myself, was exactly that same way from the age of 13 to the age of 16. Four years after I was that way, I managed to get myself straight. I'm not strict to them because I'm not the strict kind. I just don't want my kids going down the same path I did. Monica will ruin the holidays, scream and swear, and she does all other stuff. Also, she has been expelled from 20 different preschools previously for her behavior."

Robbie: "My twin sister is being naughty. She always ruins my life."

Kyle: "Monica refuses to eat healthy foods and will only eat sugary snacks. As a result, she became underweight since she is anemic. Monica even causes havoc when I take my kids out to public."

Monica: "I am not trying sushi! It is gross!"

kyle: "Let's pretend it's a squishy candy."

Kyle: "When I do, she causes all kinds of mayhem from A to Z."

[Monica snatches some money from the church collection basket]

Kyle: "And this is starting to turn into a nightmare for me..."

Monica: "I WANT CHICK-FIL-A!"

Kyle: "Not today, Monica. We will be having Long John Silver's for lunch."

Kyle: "No matter where I take my kids, she will often cause havoc just for fun."

[Monica takes a joyride on a shopping cart unattended]

Monica: "I want that Barbie doll!"

Kyle: "Not today. Maybe tomorrow."

Monica: "BUT I STILL WANT IT!"

Kyle: "I've sent Monica to specific facilities."

Kyle: "YOUR PB&J OTTER AND BARNEY DVDS ARE CONFISCATED FOR 3 DAYS!"

Monica: (screaming) "I WANT MY PB&J OTTER AND BARNEEEEEEEY DVDS!"

Kyle: "Do you know where you will be going next? Boot Camp!"

Monica: "I AM NOT GOING TO THAT PLACE! Why are you sending me there?"

Kyle: "Because you asked for it. You were being a complete brat."

Kyle: "I've tried all the facilities, but none of them worked at all."

Kyle: "Why didn't it come out the way I expected it to be?"

Delia German (Head Teacher of Behavior Modification Camp): "She punched an officer in the private area, placed fake doo-doo all over the facility and urinated on the beds."

Monica: "What the (bleep) is next, daddy?"

Kyle: "Nanny 911 failed to stop her, so I summoned Supernanny via calling on the phone."

Kyle: "Looks like I will have to call Supernanny!"

Kyle: "Last year, our old dog, Monica's favorite dog, Goofer passed away from getting hit by a car and things have been in a turmoil since. Monica even ruined the dog's funeral."

Kyle: "If I can't find someone to get your behavior changed, then I'll might as well have to do it the hard way."

Kyle: "Please, Supernanny! I need your assistance so bad! S.O.S.!"

Monica: "I dare you to bite my (bleep)!"

[Monica spits at Kyle's face]

Jo: [closes the laptop] "Enough is enough! This drama has to end! Don't worry, Kyle. I will be here ASAP. Just hang in there!"

Introduction
Robbie: Monica is in her room, because she is grounded for the whole day.

Jo: Why is she grounded?

Danielle: She was being mean to us.

Monica: (sneering) "Welcome to this (bleep)ing house ugly-head!"

[Monica pinches Jo in the back]

Jo: "Monica, please don't do that. Sweetheart."

Kyle: "Hey, we do not pinch people. That is not nice."

Jo: "Cool. So how long has this been going on, Kyle?"

Kyle: "I don't know, Jo. Monica's attending Morrice Elementary. Monica was kicked out of 13 other elementary schools, including four schools twice. Byron for throwing doo-doo at a teacher, Webberville for beating a boy up for speaking poorly of my grandmother and throwing a bottle at the teacher, Wilbur Bills for putting a tack on the teacher's chair, the newly rebuilt Shaftsburg for running in the halls, swiping a book and spitting on a teacher, EC3 for urinating on a person's clothes and bringing a rubber knife and a toy gun to school, Corunna for breaking a principal's nose, New Lothrop for throwing a chair at a student, Auburn Hills for breaking a jewelry box, Allen Park for tripping a roller-skating student, Military for threatening to wreck the building, Allendale for giving a teacher the finger, Rainbow Child Care for swearing at a teacher and Mason for throwing a rock at a teacher.

Jo: "I cannot believe what I just heard: Being expelled at least 20 times in preschools at the age of 3. How would that even happen? And what kinds of holidays does she ruin?"

Kyle: "Last Thanksgiving was overly a disaster. Me, Monica, Danielle, Kara and Robbie were at my brother's for dinner. We were cooking some turkey, and the rest of my family was there. Everything was ship-shape. I even brought in a special kids table for the kids, as well as a small turkey and some veggies. Everything will be okay, I thought to myself, but other than that, I proved myself wrong. Things started going awry when Monica started a food fight with her siblings and cousins, flinging food at everyone there just for fun. Eventually, the impact of mashed potatoes knocked over an urn which contained ashes of my grandfather, Tom. Oh, I forgot to mention, my grandfather, Tom passed away from lung cancer 10 years ago, just a few years before my kids were born. She also ruined last year's Halloween by making fun of other people's costumes and dancing around in the streets half-naked. A few minutes later after we got home, Monica threw out her siblings' treats in the garbage. Next, she destroyed Robbie's Handy Manny costume by cutting almost every part of it with scissors. So I grounded Monica for the rest of the night."

Jo: "My, my."

Kyle: And Hanukkah, it was anything but happy. It was ruined, thanks to Monica. While Monica, Robbie, Kara, Danielle and I were playing with a dreidel, Monica cheated in the game and threw the dreidel at the window."

Rules of the house
Rule one: No pork or shellfish, rule two: no mixing meat with dairy...rule three: always play fair...rule four: be kind to others, rule five: no food fights

Dinner at the restaurant
[The family is at a buffet restaurant called the Golden Coral]

Kyle: Kids, you don't have to have a menu so you can go to the buffet and pick whatever foods you like, as long as it is kosher. This means no pork and no shellfish. No mixing meat with dairy.

[Danielle, Monica, Robbie and Kara happily get their plates and go to the buffet and pick their food choices]