Piaccasa Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Submission Reels
Anna: "You will never win the battle, never!"

Observation begins
Anna: "I hate Catalina, she's a selfish bitch! She left Tony alone in a hot car."

Observation continues
Jo: "Later on, the younger children were invited to a neighbor's birthday party."

Adult Meeting
Melinda: "Wow."

James: "I get it."

Kristin: "Well, we have to go to work."

Catalina: "REALLY? Lucy is SO ungrateful!"

Jo: "There are issues that need to be addressed."

Catalina: "Y'all need to shut the hell up!"

Lucy tries talking to Catalina
Catalina: "Keep rolling 'em tears, and I'm knocking 'u out of 'e house!"

Lucy: "I hate you! You're a selfish whore and I wish you would die!"

Catalina: "O, die in a ditch!"

Melinda: "Catalina! Get over here, now!"

[Catalina drinks vodka]

Catalina: "Go kill yourself, why don't 'u?"

Melinda: (holding baby Blue Ivy) "You left your baby sister alone in your Toyota car during your shift at work. I received a phone call from your supervisor who happened to find Blue Ivy trapped in a closed, hot car. Catalina, you should NEVER leave a baby or small child unattended in a car. It is dangerous and not to mention against the law! Do you realize how many children die from hyperthermia from being trapped or left behind in a hot car?"

Lose what you like chart.
Jo: Today I am introducing the Lose what you like chart to Catalina. Any time that she misbehaves she will lose privilege.

Melinda:Okay

Reflection Room
Jo: I am also introducing the reflection room for Imogen And Megan and Michaela and Anna. When the misbehave Imogen gets 12 minutes. Megan gets 11 minutes. Michaela gets 10 minutes. Anna get 6 minutes.

Melinda: Okay

Naughty Pit
Jo: I am also introducing the naughty pit for Orla and Tony.Orla gets 3 minutes and Tony gets 2 minutes.

Melinda: Okay

Catalina vs. Melinda
Melinda: " "

Catalina: "Yer cannot tell me wha to do. THE WAY YOU ARE TREATING ME IS (bleep)IN' (bleep)IN' MEH OFF! YER ARE IN NO POSITION TO SPEAK TO MEH LIKE THAT! I AM NO LONGER TO DO AS I AM (bleep)IN' WELL TOLD IN THIS HOUSE! AND WHO'S RESPONSIBILITY IS IT THAT THEY ARE MAKING MEH BE LATE FER' DOLLARTREE AND GETTIN' LESS MONEY? YOURS!"

Melinda: "Catalina..."

Catalina: "YER ARE THE MOST UNGRATEFUL BRAT I'VE EVER MET! YER GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

[Melinda loses it, but then calms down]

Melinda: "Listen, there is more to life than just work."

Catalina: "I need this after school job to make money to go to a university, okay?"

Jo: "An after-school job is important, yes, but it is also important to balance quality time with the family as well as good grades at school."

Xavier's 4th Birthday
Jo: "The next day was Xavier's birthday, so he had a Spiderman-themed party and invited his friends from his preschool class."

[Xavier is having a Spiderman-themed birthday party]

Xavier (dressed in a child-sized classic The Amazing Spider-Man costume): "My friends Peter, Mary-Jane, Gwen, Eddie, May, Jason, Harry, Ben, James, and Norman."

Allyson (dressed in a Preteen-sized Black Cat costume): "I've got the decorations ready, Xavier."

[Allyson puts up a Spiderman pinata]

[Spiderman music is playing in the background]

James (dressed in an adult muscle plus Lizard costume): "Your mother and I booked Spiderman to swing over to your party, son. We also booked the Spiderman obstacle course, the slippery slide, and the air castle bounce house."

[Tony is dressed in a Spiderman Comic toddler costume]

[Michaela is dressed in a Black Cat costume]

[On the buffet table, we see Peter Parker Pizza, Mary-Jane Macaroni, Spidey sandwiches, Spider cheese balls, Spider Snax, Marvel-ous Marshmallows, Green Goblin guacamole, popcorn, Spider-bites, Spider spirals, Genetic Mdification Drink, Spider-juice, Green Goblin soda Slushies, Green Goblin floats, Spider sippers, Radioactive Rice Krispies and Amazing Spiderman cupcakes]

[Luciana, who is dressed in a Teen-sized Black-suited Spider Girl Costume, is holding Gregory, who is dressed in an infant-sized Spider-Man Comic costume]

Melinda (dressed in an adult Spider-Girl costume, complete with Spider-Girl Pantyhose): "Catalina, let's see you in that costume!"

[Anna is dressed in a Spider-Girl costume]

[Catalina reluctantly comes downstairs, dressed in an Adult Deluxe Black Cat costume]

[Adrian is dressed in a toddler-sized The Amazing Spider-Man costume]

[Meghann is dressed in a Black Suited Spider-Girl costume]

Melinda: "Come on, Catalina. Let's go join your brothers and sisters at the party."

Catalina (mumbling to herself): "No thanks, I'd rather eat a live coral snake..."

[Blue Ivy is dressed in a Spider-Man bunting costume]

[Avarie is dressed in an infant-sized Spider-Man costume]

[Kristin is dressed in a Black-Suited Spider-Girl Classic adult costume]

[Imogen is dressed in a Spider-Girl costume]

[Orla is dressed in a toddler-sized Spider-Girl costume, complete with Spider-Girl bag, Spider-Girl tights and red boots]

[Ingrid is dressed in a toddler-sized Pink Spider-Girl costume, complete with silver ballet flats, and white sparkle tights]

Melinda: "Xavier, your Spider-Man birthday cake will be here shortly. Meanwhile, Spiderman's here."

[Xavier and his friends rush over to meet Spiderman]

Jo: "The kids were having a really great time at the birthday party, and everything went well for just a while until Imogen, Meghann, and Michaela began to kick off. Catalina kicked off a bit later with her appalling attitude."

Meghann: "Go to (bleep)! I will spank you if you don't stop talking, Gwen!"

Gwen: "That's not nice."

[Meghann spanks Gwen's butt rapidly]

Gwen: "OUCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did I do now?!"

Meghann: "SHUT UP OR I WILL SPANK YOU HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Catalina: (scoffs) "Have fun with your baby party, losers. I've got better things to do. Besides, I'm late for my shift."

Jo confronts Catalina
Catalina: "Leav' me alone, 'yer stupid (bleep)!"

Jo: "This back-talk and language will not be tolerated and that's unacceptable."

Catalina: "'O get bent!"

[Jo raises her voice]

Jo: "THAT IS ENOUGH!!"

Melinda: "Catalina Francine Piaccasa! You just lost your cell phone for a whole week!"

[Catalina snatches the cell phone back]

Melinda: "Give me the cell phone back or you're further grounded."

[Catalina comes in her car]

Catalina: "Go kill 'yer-rself, (bleep)!"

[Catalina blows a raspberry]

Catalina: "So long, losers!"

[Catalina drives off to Dollartree]

Catalina gets a reality check
Jo: "Catalina has a real problem with being grateful. So, I decided to take her to a youth hostel."

Catalina: "Wha did yer drag me here in this dump?"

Jo: "Because."

Catalina: "Because wha?"

Jo: "Because you need a reality check, my girl! That's why!"

[Cut to a 16 year-old boy talking to Jo and Catalina]

Teenage boy: "My sister was murdered by a 23-year old ninja when she was 2."

Jo: "See, Catalina? You need to help out and think of people your age in need."

[Catalina drinks Pepsi Next]

Jo: "Catalina, a 23-year old ninja murdered a 2-year old sister of this 16-year old."

Catalina: (sarcastically) "Oh, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo. How said that hiss kid sister got kill by ninja. Oh, boo-hoo." (laughs)

Jo: "Catalina!"

[Catalina walks away and goes into the cafeteria]

Man in charge of Youth Hostel: "Excuse me, ma'am. We do not tolerate that behavior here in this Youth Hostel."

Catalina: "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, GRANDAD!!!"

Man: "Stop calling me that name."

Catalina gets a reality check part 2
Jo: "Catalina was kicked out of the Youth Hostel, so I took her to an orphanage." [Jo drives Catalina to a orphanage]

Jo: "You need to help some children."

[Cut to Jo talking to a 8-year old boy]

8-year old boy: "A ninja warrior killed my mom when she was 14, my dad died of cancer and I was 2 when my sister died of paracectamol overdose when she was 13."

Jo: "I am sorry for your loss."

Catalina: "Pathetic! That is so stupid!"

8-year old boy: [anger rises] "LET'S SEE IF I DID THAT TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

[8-year old slaps Catalina across the face]

8-year old boy: "EVERYONE HATES YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL ABOUT FAMILIES AND ONLY CARE FOR YOURSELF!"

[Catalina punches the 8-year old across the neck but the 8-year old boy pushes her to a wall]

8-year old boy: "NO ONE LOVES YOU CATFACE!"

Jo: "Catalina, a 14-year old ninja warrior killed his mother, he lost his father to cancer, and he lost his 13-year old sister of paracectamol overdose when he was 2. Onto the next orphans."

6-year old twins: "Our parents were killed by an 28-year old ninja warrior when we were very small."

Jo: "My word...I am so sorry..."

Catalina: "Don't care! I DON'T GIVE A (bleep)!"

6-year old twins: "Go away ugly 18-year old dork."

[Catalina force-feeds the 6-year old twins tobasco sauce but they manage to force-feed Catalina the tobasco sauce]

6-year old twins: "OW! YOU DUMB POOPY-BUTT!! It burns, but we are okay!"

[The 6-year olds beat the god out of Catalina]

Jo: "CATALINA FRANCINE PIACCASA!"

6-year old twins: "Ha ha."

Jo: "A 28-year old ninja killed their parents. Go on and help this 5-year old."

5-year old boy: "My parents were killed in a tragic boat crash, and all my siblings were killed by an antiquarian keeper."

Jo: "I am very sorry for your loss..."

Catalina: "I don't give a (bleep) 'cause I have better things to do."

[The 5-year old boy flips Catalina off]

5-year old boy: "(Bleep) you stinky head."

Jo: "He lost his parent in a tragic boat crash, and an antiquarian keeper killed all his siblings."

7-year old boy: "My mom died on her way to prison for child abuse, my dad died of diabetes because he ate nothing but chocolate, and all my siblings were killed by a swarm of ninjas. This all happened when I was a baby."

Jo: "I am very, very sorry for your loss..."

Catalina: "Good, cause you're just a fatso."

7-year old boy: "Fuck you."

4-year old boy: "My parents didn't die, but they work 24-7."

Jo: "I am so sorry for what they do..."

Catalina: "I hope they never quit working."

[We hear a baby crying]]

Every child in the orphanage: "CATALINA THE FRIENDLESS IS THE MOST BORING slut ON EARTH SHE HAS NO FRIENDS BECAUSE SHE IS SELFISH AND CARES ABOUT HERSELF!!"

Catalina: You don't understand, do you? I have a job and I am trying to save up enough money so I can go to college after I graduate from high school.

5-year-old kid: What's college?

4-year-old kid: What does graduate mean?

Man: (to Catalina) Pardon me...are you the owner of the red Toyota vehicle? It appears you have left a little boy in the car.

Keeper of the Orphanage: "Young lady, that kind of behavior will not be tolerated."

Catalina: "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, LADY!"

Keeper: "Stop calling me that name."

[Catalina is seen smoking a cigarette, then she starts choking]

Keeper: Are you okay?

Catalina gets her comuppance
Catalina: "IT'S YOUR FAULT, JO! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

Jo: "I did not! You are the one who caused it and I don't like your attitude at all. Either you calm down and collect your thoughts or you are banned from using your cell phone for the entire month. You left Tony in the car and he had an asthma attack."

Catalina: "If you ban me from using my cell phone, I swear to god, I will kill you no matter what!"

How it Worked
Jo: "As a result for her self-centered attitude, Catalina has been punished by having her cell phone taken away and she was not allowed to see her friends after school for a week. She also had to write an essay about gratitude."

[Catalina beats the god out of Jo and Melinda]

Melinda: "Catalina, that is enough!"

Catalina: "GIVE ME MY CELL PHONE NOW! I WON'T WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT GRATITUDE, NOT A CHANCE, EVER!"

[We see her essay]

Jo: "There is no other option, Catalina. You should've thought about that before you decided to treat the family like garbage."

[Jo puts Catalina's cell phone in Melinda's purse, but Catalina breaks the purse with a crystal mace.]

Catalina: "YOU'VE GIVEN THAT ESSAY TO THE WRONG PERSON! TELL LUCIANA TO WRITE IT!"

[Catalina takes the phone and drives to Dollartree]

Melinda: "Get back in the house or you're staying out! And Luciana is definitely not writing the essay!"

Catalina finally meets her match
Jo: "Mom spoke to Catalina's principal about her after school job at the Dollar Tree store."

Jo: so mom, how did it go with the principal regarding Catalina's after school job?

Melinda: The principal talked to me about child labor laws in this state.