Supermanny Special (Armstrong Family)/Transcript

Before the Revolving Line of Credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supermanny..."

Colby: "DRINK POISON!"

Announcer: "Colby's behaviour has pushed 16-year-old girlfriend Lucy, from the UK on the brink of breaking up with him."

Lucy: "Colby, don't you dare!"

'''Lucy: "I've been abused and I'm worried about my upcoming daughter who I'm naming Holly-Carina since Colby tries to inject me with poison. I am also training to work with kids who have autism, as I have it too. My dream is to be a psychologist for special needs kids. Colby has pushed me over the edge." (sobs)'''

[Lucy slaps Colby]

Lucy: "Get a grip! You are about to be a dad! Leave your brother alone. I'm warning you!"

Submission Reel
Mike: "I am here in South Africa "

???: " "

???: " "

Ben: "Colby would force Steven to..."

Colby: "DRINK POISON!"

[Colby tries letting Steven to drink a poison bottle]

Ben: "To make matters worse, last year, he injected Steven with poison."

???: "Hi, I'm Lucy and I'm Colby's girlfriend."

Lucy: "COLBY DON'T YOU DARE! I AM ON THE BRINK OF LEAVING!!"

Lucy: "I am having twin girls, and I'm naming them Laura Elizabeth and Lillith Rose, but I have not decided their last name as I am worried and hope Colby will be a good dad. If not I will be a single parent and they will have my surname (Gordon)."

Lucy: "I can't f(bleep)ing cope with this s(bleep) anymore!"

[Lucy sobs]

Introduction
[Mike parks his car in front of the Armstrong Residence]

[Mike steps out of his car and walks up the path]

[A man in his 30s, with brown hair and blue eyes, is seen at the porch]

Mike: " "

[Mike shakes Ben's hand]

Observation Begins
[Carina leaves for work]

Observation Continues
Herbert: "ALL RIGHT THAT DOES IT! I'M GOING TO P*** AND S*** IN MY PANTS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

Naughty Square
[Ty tries to pinch Lucy]

Lucy: "Tyrone Oliver Armstrong. Trying to pinch me is a no-no. Do it again and I'm putting you in timeout on the Naughty Square!"

[Ty punches Lucy]

Mike: "Right, take him by his hand and bring him to the Naughty Square."

Lucy: "You are here for punching me. Stay there for 4 minutes."

Naughty Desk
Mike: " "

Ben: "Herbert James Armstrong, you are on your first warning. If you "

[Ben sends Herbert to the Naughty Desk]

Ben: " "

[Colby gets Lucy down on the floor beating her]

Ben: "This is your warning, Colby Benjamin! If you continue to beat Lucy up, you are going to the Naughty Desk."

Colby: "There is nothing you can do to stop me."

[Colby ]

Ben: " "

[Ben sends Colby to the Naughty Desk]

Ben: " "

Mike: " "

[Mike steps in]

Mike: " "

Colby's Epic Tantrum
Mike: "As Lucy was in a coma for two days, Colby was dying to see her. But when he was told to go to church, he threw a tantrum."

Ben: "No you cannot! We are going to church!"

[Colby is on a rampage]

Colby (angrily): "Why do we have to go to stupid church?"

cut to: Lucy: (thinking) I don't have to put up with this, I could be a single parent to the twins and that (bleep) better learn his lesson.

Lucy Goes Into Labor
Mike: "To get Colby to learn fathering skills, on June 8, Lucy put him to the test."

[Lucy is fixing sandwiches for Ty, Steven and Andrew]

[Lucy examines her jeans as they are wet]

Lucy: "Hold on! Oh my God! Colby!"

Colby: "Yes, Lucy?"

Lucy: "I'm in labor! we need to go to hospital!"

Colby: "I'll ring an ambulance!"

Cut to:

[Colby is packing overnight bags to last 5 days]

[Colby is getting diapers, enough to last 2 years baby bottles, pacifiers, baby outfits, and little bows for the babies' hair]

[Lucy is in the delivery ward]

'''Lucy: "My family flew from Britain to be with me!" '''

[Colby arrives just in time]

Doctor: "Come on Lucy, push!"

[baby A is born]

Lucy: "Laura Elizabeth Armstrong! Welcome to the world!"

Doctor: "OK! Here comes Baby B!"

[baby B is born]

Lynne (Lucy's mom): "What are their names?"

Lucy: "Laura Elizabeth and Lillith Rose, welcome to the world! Weighing a whopping 10lb 4oz each!"

Mike: "But this is not the only birthday being celebrated!"

Lucy: "I am 17 today as well!"

'''Colby: "Seeing Lucy in pain made me realise that I don't have to do bad things to get attention at all. I will no longer hurt others. A message to all of you out there. Never take things for granted, and don't inject others with substances, it could leave that person seriously hurt or worse." '''

Herbert's Epic Tantrum
Mike: "It was dinner time and Herbert wanted McDonalds for dinner,but when Ben decided the family would have homemade Chinese food with variety, he threw an epic tantrum."

Herbert: "Dad! Can I have McDonalds for dinner?"

Ben: "Herbert I am cooking a Chinese buffet with everyone's favorites, but I am putting chips on as well."

Herbert: "NOOOO!!!!! I hate Chinese!"

Ben: "Warning. Herbert James Armstrong. If you continue this act you are going to the Naughty Desk."

Herbert: "(bleep)!"

Ben: "OK, Herbert, Naughty desk."

Ben: "You are here for swearing and throwing a tantrum. Stay there for 16 minutes."

16 minutes later. ..

Herbert: "Sorry Dad."

Mike: "But Herbert did the unthinkable!"

[Lucy is breastfeeding Lilith and Laura]

[Lucy and Colby burp the twins, then take them and tuck them up into Moses baskets]

Lucy: "I fancy some curry, rice and chow mein. What about you?"

Colby: "I'll have sweet and sour chicken."

[Lucy and Colby set their food on TV trays ready to put hunger games on]

10 mins later...

[The twins are crying loudly upstairs]

[Colby and Lucy run upstairs]

[Ben walks in]

[The Moses baskets are tipped, the twins are crying and they need diaper changes]

Ben: "I know who did this! HERBERT JAMES ARMSTRONG!"

Herbert: "WHAT?!"

Ben: "You knocked the twins beds over and menaced them. You wait till your mother gets home, mister!"

Herbert: "F*** OFF!"

Ben: "OK, Naughty Desk."

Lucy: "Busted!"

[Colby and Lucy are changing diapers, soothing the twins and tucking them into bed]

Lucy; "All better."

Ben: "You're here for menacing your nieces. Stay there for 16 minutes."

[Herbert trashes Lucy's room, Colby's room Andrew and Ty's room as well as his own and Ben and Carina's]

Ben: "Please stop!"

Herbert: "NO!"

Ben: "OK no friends for 5 months no TV for six no friends for seven you will also eat what we are eating and do all your homework. You will also do extra chores for a year. Also no video games for eight months and you have lost the privilege to go to parties for nine months!"

[Herbert is about to LACERATE Lucy's leg]

Lucy: "Ha! F***ing try me!"

Lucy: "Besides I am just back from hospital and had a quadruple transplant due to polycysticc kidneys and cystic fibrosis so you'd better F*** off!"

[Lillith and Laura cry]

Colby: "Great Herbert you woke the twins up!"

[Lucys sister Kendra appears]

Kendra: "What's going on?"

Lucy: "Herbert is having an epic tantrum. But Kendra these are your nieces Lillith and Laura."

Kendra: "They are so cute. (to the twins) Auntie Kendra loves you!"

Colby: "You can babysit if you want."

Kendra: "I'd love to!"

Ty and Andrew's Epic Tantrum
Mike: “Shortly after Herbert’s tantrum stopped, Ty and Andrew started to kick off”