I Was a Teenage Toy/Transcript

Heading to the Base
King Kool: [is walking to the TT10 base while whistling "Golden" by Jill Scott] Hopefully I don't bump into a Maple Town style bearferretguineapigwhatchamacallit.

[A silhouette appears]

???: "HELLO DUMB DUMB WE ARE THE ADVANCED RACE KNOWN AS..."

[Fred Rechid walks up]

Fred Rechid: "FRED RECHID, AND IF YOU DON'T REV UP THOSE FRYERS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WILL BE DISINTEGRATED ANY QUESTIONS."

King Kool: [kicks Fred away] The last thing I need is some otter kissing my wounds every 2 seconds.

[A larger silhouette appears]

???: "Hey!"

King Kool: Why are you yelling out "hey"? This isn't the Arthur theme song.

[Hiro appears gets out his machine gun and points it at the unknown person]

Hiro: "" (Translation: You guys don't know who the f*** you're dealing with!)

King Kool: "Dealing with who? Answer me. Alrighty?"

[The silhouette is revealed to be a sweaty-faced girl. The girl grabs King Kool]

King Kool: "I don't like the looks of you."

[Camera cuts to a disturbing close-up to the girl's face. Flies are heard buzzing]

King Kool: "Now let me go, please."

Sweaty-Faced Girl: "We're gonna be best friends foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

King Kool: [ala Charlie Brown] "AAUGH!!"

[The girl walks away with King Kool]

King Kool: "This isn't what it looks like...."

Sweaty-Faced Girl: "Come on! You're gonna have a ton of fun!" [Runs offscreen]

Welcome to Hell, Enjoy Your Stay
Sweaty-Faced Girl: "Brother, look! I caught a rare doll!"

Sweaty-Faced Boy: "Wooooow!" [grabs a nail bat] "Let's anguish it!"

King Kool: [gasps]

[Several gruesome beatings later...]

Sweaty-Faced Girl: "Hope you liked it!"

Mom: [offscreen] "Kids! Come downstairs to eat your dinner before it gets cold!"

Sweaty-Faced Boy: "Oh boy! We're probably having cake! I mean, I like to eat it for breakfast, lunch, and a 2 SAM snack." [rolls down the stairs with the Sweaty-Faced Girl]

???: "Psst. You, in the gray hoodie."

King Kool: "NO! Don't hurt me! I'm too young to die!"

???: "Relax. I'm just a toy."

[The stuffed rabbit walks up]

Stuffed Rabbit: "I've been here for 2 years. To top it off, there's a slap mark that's been on my back for 8 months."

[Cuts to a disturbing close-up of the slap mark]

Stuffed Rabbit: "So, I wanna break it to ya: there's no way out of here, because you have this pretzel de... um..."

King Kool: "Preso de presa canario?"

Stuffed Rabbit: "Yeah. You have that three-layered maniac that's the size of a car guarding the house."

[Growling is heard]

King Kool: [chuckles uneasily] "I think that's him."

[King Kool and the stuffed rabbit get mauled by the dog offscreen]