I Don't Give A Flying Fuck

Chapter 1: Who wants to battle me?
Gunsche arrives.

“Someone would like to battle you. Her name is Jade.” He said to Hitler, when translated to English.

“I should battle this 6’1” girl trainer? I’ll accept the request! It will be a cakewalk battle, for sure! I want you to have everyone meet me in this office. Hopefully, she isn’t as bad as Fegelein. Fegelein! Fegelein! Fegelein!” Hitler said when translated.

Chapter 2: No one is safe
The group is in the office.

“My Fuhrer, why did you bring us here now?” Jodl said when translated.

“Baldy I want to battle Jade, Gunsche tells me she is the coolest looking person in the world. And now I would like to battle her for the first time.” Hitler said when translated.

“Well that’s idiotic my Fuhrer.” Jodl said when translated.

“Jade will be losing this Pokémon battle against I, the Fuhrer.” Hitler said when translated.

“I’m pretty sure her team has a fish. I would like to see her use it in the battle.” Krebs said when translated.

“You will, as I will take it down too.” Hitler said when translated.

“Well my Fuhrer you don’t have a chance against the hooded girl!” Jodl said when translated.

“Stfu Baldy! I’m not done!” Hitler said when translated. “We’re going to battle her at the Todaroture headquarters.”

“She’ll make mincemeat out of you!” Jodl said when translated.

“Baldy Krebs wants to see the fish, now shut up! Or else we’ll have the Pokémon attack your bald head instead!” Hitler shouted when translated.

Chapter 3: Let’s go to the office
Hitler and his gang are at the Todaroture headquarters.

“This must be the Todaroture headquarters. It is a pretty big building.” Hitler said.

“My Fuhrer I object, why can’t we-” Jodl tried to finish.

“SHUT THE H*** UP, YOU BALD-A** B*****D!” Hitler shouted at Jodl.

The gang goes in.

“My Fuhrer I object, Sophie didn’t wanna see-” Jodl tried to finish, but Hitler throws a pencil.”

“My Fuhrer why did you throw a pencil at me?” Jodl said.

“I HAVE A FEELING SOMEONE WANTS THEIR HEAD USED FOR TARGET PRACTICE!” Hitler shouted when translated. “Come with us to the elevator!”

Hitler and his crew comes into the elevator to reach the top of the floor.

“This must be the top of the floor. Where’s Jade, Reicheru, and the rest of the group?” Hitler said.

“My Fuhrer, I don’t think they’re here.” Jodl said. “My Fuhrer, why don’t we return to the bunker so I can object for 10 hours?”

Hitler throws a pencil at Jodl.

Hitler sees a room in the top floor.

“There’s a room in there, come with us now.” Hitler said.

Hitler enters the office, with Jodl, Burgdorf, Grawitz, Goebbels, Krebs, Fegelein, Leopold Slikk, and Harold Slikk.

“IT’S SOPHIE, JADE, REICHERU, AND IGOR!” Hitler said.

Sophie begins screaming and hides somewhere.

“My Fuhrer, you scared Sophie away!” Jodl said.

“Shut up Baldy! I want a Pokémon battle!” Hitler said.

“What year is it?” Harold said.

“It’s 2016, bro.” Igor said.

For some reason, the English speakers knew the English translations of what the German speakers were saying.

“WELL DOESN’T HINOMARU HAVE A SIX-MONTH OLD OFFSPRING?!” Harold scolded Igor.

“The other fanfic took place in September, this is October! I think they mistook days for months!” Hitler said.

“Same here.” A black man in his 30s said.

“Aren’t you Jade’s dad?” Harold said.

Leopold, seemingly concerned, talks to Sophie.

“Sophie! Get outta here! SOPHIE! The other Hitler is the bad guy, Sophie!” Leopold said.

“Is this AGK?” Sophie said.

“And everyone says I’m the angry German. Yeah right.” Leopold said.

“I will win easily against Jade! And the Reich will be very happy! Maybe Reicheru will join us afterward!” Hitler said.

Jade whispers to Fegelein.

“Jade can win a 6-on-6 battle against you without any Pokémon fainting, my Fuhrer. Wanna bet one million bucks each on it?” Fegelein asked.

“You and Jade can win against me without losing anybody?” Hitler said. “Well you’re so on! I’m so gonna wipe you out, dumb f***! I’m gonna mop the floors and score a perfect battle, you won’t, just lose, you’ll suck my d*** like Fegelein! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!” Hitler shouted.

“Give me a break!” Jade said. “If you lose, you have to give me another million!”

“Yeah, OK.” Hitler said.

Chapter 4: The German Humiliation
“Alright, this 6-on-6 Pokémon battle with Adolf Hitler challenging my daughter Jade will now begin.” LaToya said.

“Your daughter? Your daughter? How come you get to be the judge?” Leopold said.

“Brittany Soler is my favorite looking character! HOT AS F***, COOL AS F***, CUTE AS F***, AND PASSIONATE AS F***!” Harold said.

“Settle down, Harold.” Sophie said.

Harold screams.

“Oh boy.” Sophie said.

“I hope she sends out Bouncer because she was mean to Brittany!” Harold said.

“Never mind Bouncer I wanna see the fish. It doesn’t even have trouble water or not.” Krebs said.

“Fine, then I’ll send out my exceptional Torkoal.” Hitler said, then he throws Torkoal’s Poké ball.

“I choose… Beambomb!” Jade said, she throws Beambomb’s Poké ball.

“HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT POKÉMON IS?!?!?!” Hitler said.

“Tidal Beam!” Jade commanded.

“TIDAL BEAM IS NOT A MOVE! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?” Goebbels shouted.

Beambomb uses Tidal Beam. This very violent move

“TIDAL BEAM IS A MOVE, YOU JUST SAW BEAMBOMB USE IT, GOEBBELS!” Burgdorf scolded Goebbels.

“Torkoal cannot battle. Tecichno is the winner!” LaToya said.

“OK! Now I will send out Mewtwo.” Hitler said, he does so. “Use Earthquake!”

“Beambomb, get back here, Assault, get outta here!” Jade said, sending Beambomb back to its Poké ball and sending out a Hydreigon. Then, Mewtwo uses Earthquake, but no effect.

“THIS N**** IS CHEATING THE S*** F*** BY THE A**!” Hitler said.

“Watch your language, terrorist.” Jade scolded Hitler. “Use Dark Pulse.” She commanded to Mr. Assault. The Hydreigon does so, and knocks out Mewtwo in one hit.

“Mewtwo is unable to battle. Hydreigon wins!” LaToya said.

“THE BATTLE IS F***ING TOTALLY RIGGED!” Hitler yelled. “I might very well lose this bet! I MIGHT LOSE THIS BET!” He sends out another Pokémon. “Honchkrow, go!” He chuckles. “Jade is surely doomed. So is f***ing Fegelein! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!” “Honchkrow, use Superpower!”

As Honchkrow moves over to the other side, Jade switches Mr. Assault with Mega Firey. Honchkrow attacks Mega Firey. Honchkrow’s attack and defense fell, and it got burned.

“Mega Firey, use Chasing Kiss!” Jade commanded.

“CHASING KISS?” Hitler said.

The attack hits. Hydreigon said.

“WAKE UP I NEED YOU!” Hitler said.

“Mega Firey, use Comet Blast right now!” Jade commanded.

“Comet Blast?” Hitler said.

Mega Firey knocks out Honchkrow with Comet Blast.

“Honchkrow is unable to battle, Torflamine is the winner!”

“How the h*** did she take my Honchkrow down without anyone fainting?” Hitler said. “HONCHKROW AND MEWTWO WERE F***ING SO WELL-DETERMINED POKÉMON!”

“This battle is so boring.” Jodl said.

“I agree Jodl.” Hitler said.

“You finally agree with me on everything?” Jodl asked.

“Of course. I can’t wait to go back to Berlin.” Hitler said.

“Well then let’s get outta here so I can object for 20 hours!” Jodl said.

“Aw come on I wanted to see Jade’s cool fish!” Krebs said.

“F*** OFF BALDY THAT WAS SARCASM YOU SON OF A C***! No way will I withdraw, to a tomboyish hooded black girl, in an easy as pie challenge!” Hitler said. “Magmortar, go!”

“F*** it. Mega Firey, return, Bouncer, go!” Jade commanded as she returned Mega Firey to its Poké ball, threw a Quick Ball, Bouncer came out.

“Bouncer has got to be a joke… Magmortar, use Confuse Ray!” Hitler said.

Magmortar attacks, but the attack is reflected back to Magmortar, Magmortar is confused.

“USE EARTHQUAKE, MAGMORTAR!” Hitler said.

Magmortar tries to attack, but hurts itself in its confusion.

“Ice Block, go!” Jade said.

Bouncer uses Ice Block on Magmortar successfully.

“MAGMORTAR IS A FIRE-TYPE POKÉMON! HOW THE H*** IS IT F***ING FROZEN SOLID?! I THOUGHT THERE WAS NO PURELY FREEZING MOVE!” Hitler shouted.

“F*** it there is.” Jade said. “Cosmic Power!”

“Magmortar, use Fire Blast!” Hitler said.

While Bouncer raises her defensive stats, Magmortar is still frozen solid.

“I TOLD YOU TO USE FIRE BLAST AND YOU ARE STILL F***ING FROZEN SOLID!” Hitler said.

Harold Slikk screams.

“I HATE WHAT THIS POKÉMON DID TO BRITTANY SOLER!” Harold said. “She was mean to Brittany Soler!”

“Bouncer, return, Beambomb, get outta here and use Tidal Beam right now!” Jade said, as she managed the balls.

“YOU BETTER THAW THE H*** OUT!” Hitler said.

Beambomb knocks out Magmortar with an extremely deadly Tidal Beam attack.

“I F***ING HATE THIS BATTLE!!!” Hitler said.

“Magmortar is unable to battle, Tecichno is the winner!”

“THIS IS A MOTHERF***ING RIGGED AS F*** JOKE!” Hitler yelled.

“The hooded girl is going through the battle like a boss. I’m certain she will win the bet.” Burgdorf said.

“You really think that I the Fuhrer will lose to a hoodie girl?” Hitler said. “Houndoom, go!” He said, as he threw the Poké ball with Houndoom in it.

“Easy as a lightning cake!” Jade said. “Beambomb, use Tidal Beam attack!” Beambomb does so, knocking out Houndoom in one hit.

“THIS MOTHERF***ING TOMBOY IS OUT OF CONTROL!” Hitler said.

“Houndoom is unable to battle, Tecichno wins!” LaToya said.

“This is an outrage!” Hitler said. “Braviary, go!”

“Not a big surprise, Beambomb, Ice Beam now!” Jade said. Beambomb does so. Braviary is knocked out.

“No surprise at all, Braviary cannot battle, Tecichno is the winner! Jade gets the battle win, the perfect battle win, and the bet win!”

“Looks like I won the bet, my Fuhrer. I will expect quite a lot of money from you, old timer.” Fegelein said.

“I f***ing hate you Fegelein! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!” Hitler said.

“My Fuhrer I object, Jade totally cheated her way to the top!” Jodl said.

“You should give me money instead, you bald f***!” Fegelein said.

“I object to that change of-” Jodl tried to finish speaking, but Hitler threw a pencil at him.

Reicheru sends out Hinomaru.

Hinomaru turns into his human form.

“Since when can stupid Pokémon turn into humans?” Jodl said.

Hitler throws a pencil at Jodl.

“Hinomaru, are you OK?” Harold asked.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Hinomaru said.

“Hinomaru I object, you deserved your child being kidnapped!” Jodl scolded him.

“Jodl…” Hitler said.

“What do you want for my life?” Jodl asked.

Hitler throws a pencil at Jodl.

“SHUT THE H*** UP YOU STUPID A** IDIOT!” Hitler shouted.

“Alright, Sophie Jr., go!” Sophie the Otter sends out Sophie Jr..

“Hi, mom!” Sophie Jr. said.

Leopold laughs.

“You gave birth to a Floatzel!” Leopold said.

“Sophie is not her mother! Have you lost your mind?” Goebbels scolded him.

“Her real mother was killed shortly after her birth.” Fegelein said.

“She’s one of three Pokémon that evolved here in the Todaroture headquarters.” Burgdorf said.

“No way.” Fegelein said.

“Sophie Jr. I object, you shouldn’t wear clothes! I object to this stupid otter being able to talk!” Jodl said.

“Jodl…” Hitler said.

“What now?” Jodl said.

“SHUT YOUR F***ING MOUTH RIGHT NOW!” Hitler said.

Hitler throws three pencils at Jodl.

“Stop throwing pencils!”

Hitler throws another pencil at Jodl.

“Sophie Jr., Aqua Jet on Jodl!” Sophie commanded. Sophie Jr. does so.

“Wow Hitler you didn’t just lose! You sucked super major d***!” Leopold said.

“WHY DON’T YOU BATTLE THE HOODED GIRL AND SEE FOR YOURSELF?” Hitler screamed.

“Alright fine I’m pretty sure she will lose.” Leopold said.

Chapter 5: More German Humiliation
All Pokémon have been restored to full health.

“This 6-on-6 battle between my daughter Jade and the Angry German Kid will now begin.” LaToya said.

“Mega Firey, go!” Jade said; summoned.

“Wailord, go!” AGK said; summoned.

Leopold laughs.

“What is so funny Leopold? Focus on the match like a real man!” Leopold said.

“FIRE IS WEAK TO WATER, IT’S NO USE JADE! YOU ARE VERY SURELY DOOMED!” Leopold yelled.

“Mega Firey, Zap Cannon now!” Jade said.

Mega Firey successfully OHKO’d Leopold’s Wailord with a Zap Cannon attack.

Leopold screams like crazy.

“Wailord is unable to battle. Torflamine wins!” LaToya said.

“Mega Firey is owning this. Do you have any Ground-types?” Burgdorf said.

“No. But I have a Rock-type, loser!” Leopold said. “Tyrantrum, go!” He said; summoned. Leopold laughs.

“Comet Blast, go!” Jade said.

“Tyrantrum, use Earthquake!” Leopold said.

Before Tyrantrum could attack, Mega Firey was able to knock out Tyrantrum with two Comet Blast hits. That Earthquake attack could've knocked out Mega Firey, but Mega Firey was very fast.

“Use Earthquake! What are you waiting for? Now!” Leopold shouted.

“Tyrantrum is out, thunderc***!” Joe said.

“Tyrantrum is unable to battle! Torflamine is the winner!” LaToya said.

“F*** YOU LATOYA, THE B****** WHO MARRIED YOU, AND YOUR C**S***** DAUGHTER, A FAMILY OF N****S!” Leopold screeched.

“Do you want to get attacked?” Jade scolded Leopold.

“No please no!” Leopold said.

“Then you better shut the f*** up!” Jade commanded.

“Dialga, go!” Leopold said and commanded, he chuckles.

“Use Chasing Kiss, Mega Firey!” Jade commanded. Mega Firey does so on Dialga.

Leopold screams.

“Use Flamethrower!” Jade said. And Mega Firey used Flamethrower. “Do Flamethrower attack one more time!” Jade said, Mega Firey used Flamethrower again, Dialga is out.

“Dialga is unable to battle. Torflamine is the winner!” LaToya said.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Leopold screeched. “Positive thinking. Time for positive thinking. I actually do have a Ground-type. Zygarde, go!”

“Mega Firey, play this one safe, and use Chasing Kiss!” Jade commanded.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” Leopold said in horror.

Mega Firey uses Chasing Kiss on Zygarde, sending it to sleep.

“Now, use Comet Blast!” Jade said to Mega Firey.

Mega Firey uses the move. After 4 hits, Zygarde is taken out.

“Zygarde is unable to battle! Torflamine is the winner!” LaToya said.

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!” Leopold screamed. “I HAVE TO DEAL AT LEAST SOME DAMAGE SOME F***ING TIME!!!” “Victreebel, go!” He said and summoned.

“Easy. Flamethrower!” Jade said. Mega Firey uses Flamethrower, one-hit knocks out Victreebel.

Leopold screams.

“Victreebel is unable to battle, Torflamine wins again.” LaToya said.

“THIS IS MY LAST POKÉMON, I BETTER ATTACK SOMEHOW!” Leopold said. “Linoone, go!” Leopold chuckles.

“Flamethrower!” Jade said.

“Belly Drum!” Leopold said.

Linoone cuts its HP in half.

Mega Firey manages to one-shot Linoone, and therefore, won without taking any damage.

“Linoone is unable to battle. Torflamine is the winner! Jade Epiphany Tanner has defeated two severely well determined German trainers by lopsides!”

“Ha ha ha! YOU GOT OWNED!” Hitler said.

AGK screams like crazy.

“Leopold failed epically!” Hitler said.

“I object to Jade and your parents, all n****s.” Jodl said.

Hitler throws a pencil at Jodl.

“Chasing Kiss on Jodl!” Jade commanded.

“I object to Chasing Kiss being used on me.” Jodl said.

Mega Firey does use Chasing Kiss on Jodl. Jodl fell asleep.

“Ha ha ha! It didn’t work!” Hitler said. “He’s also paying the money. He’s paying the money to Jade! JADE! JADE! JADE!”

Hitler sees Giuseppe.

“Giuseppe?” Hitler said.

“Speak English!” Mr. Cin shouted.

Hitler throws a pencil at Mr. Cin.

Clinton Bill is watching a video being recorded by a Todaroture camera.

“Um, a Jade imposter is defeating Alessandro badly.” Clinton said.

“Imposter?” Jade said. “Let me check!” She is quick to rush to see the video. She sees it.

“That’s my twin brother, you are a son of a c***!” Jade said.

“I agree with Jade!” Hitler said.

“Uh, speak English.” Clinton Bill said.

Hitler throws two pencils at Clinton Bill.

“Uh, enough with the pencils.” Clinton Bill said.

Hitler throws another pencil at Clinton Bill.

“I said enough!” Clinton Bill scolded him.

“THEN SHUT YOUR PURE B****-A** FACE! I’M FROM GERMANY, NOT AMERICA!” Hitler yelled.

Chapter 6: New record is a failure
“My Fuhrer, I have a new plan.” Jodl said. “I’m going to object for 96 hours.”

“Fine. Then I’ll try to stop your objecting that will seem forever.” Hitler said.

“My Fuhrer, I’m objecting for 96 hours.” Jodl said. “I object to Jade’s appearance. I object to Jade winning. I object to Jade’s hair. I object to Jade’s mother. I object to Jade’s mother’s hair. I object to Sophie. I object to Sophie’s Floatzel. I object to Sophie’s Floatzel’s name. I object to Sophie’s Floatzel’s clothes. I object to Jade winning. I object to Jade cheating. I object to the Northeast. I object to the Southeast. I object to the whole United States. I object to the English language. I object to Jade’s twin brother. I object to the fish. I object to attacks. I object to repeating myself. I object to abuse. I object to videos. I object to objecting. I object to invincibility. I object to everyone. I object to invisibility. I object to reading. I object to typing. I object to anniversaries. I object to North America. I object to Reicheru winning. I object to Hinomaru. I object to Hinomaru’s wife. I object to the baby Eevee. I object to Giuseppe losing. I object to Lake Hoohaw. I object to Aunt Nanner. I object to PB&J Otter. I object to Sophie’s Cousins. I object to Opal and Ernest Otter. I object to Toshio and Satoko Samo. I object to Brittany Soler. I object to Brittany Soler’s parents. I object to Brittany Soler’s appearance. I object to Brittany Soler’s husband. I object to Brittany Soler’s mansion. I object to South Carolina. I object to everyone’s names. I object to everyone’s hair. I object to the old man. I object to the boring man. I object to the boring games. I object to Mario games. I object to Pokémon games. I object to the tropes. I object to Bratayley. I object to Monalisa Todaro. I object to Monalisa Todaro’s name. I object to Monalisa’s pasta. I object to all of Wisconsin. I’m still objecting for 96 hours. I might object for even more than that. I can object as many times as I want. I object to Skeletor’s scary face. I am-”

“MY NAME IS GOEBBELS, NOT SKELETOR! MY FACE LOOKS F***ING FINE! YOUR BALD FACE BETTER STOP OBJECTING RIGHT THIS MOTHERF***ING INSTANT! OR YOUR SHINY BALD HEAD IS GONNA BE PERHAPS PRIMED TO BE TOTALLY ELIMINATED FOR 96 HOURS!” Goebbels scolded Jodl.

Leopold chuckles.

“Good job Goebbels.” Hitler said.

“All of my objections are useful!” Jodl said.

“BIG BALDY YOUR COMPLAINING IS VERY VERY FAR AWAY FROM F***ING USEFUL! YOUR SHINY FACE IS LOOKING TO BE B****SLAPPED 96 TIMES!” Goebbels shouted at Jodl.

“My Fuhrer, I see you have a plan.” Jodl said.

“Baldy we will be coming to the Soler mansion so you play some UNO Dare with laminated cards. We will be using four customized rules cards with 16 dares on each card.” Hitler said.

“Is that good My Fuhrer?” Jodl asked.

“Jade, her twin brother, Mr. Chisholm and I will make 16 dares each.” Hitler said.

“Sophie the Otter should have a lot of fish. She specializes in Water-types, no?” Krebs asked.

“Maybe. Jodl will play an 8-player game.” Hitler said.

“My Fuhrer I object, I don’t wanna play Uno Dare!” Jodl said.

“Didn’t Goebbels say stop objecting?” Hitler scolded Jodl.

“Uno Dare is too childish!” Jodl said.

“How dare you object to Uno Dare! Stop objecting! The next time you object, I’ll eliminate you for 376 hours.” Hitler scolded Jodl.

“So you better listen to him. The Fuhrer is the Fuhrer!” Burgdorf said.

Chapter 7: Card time
Sure it’s fine to call everyone’s names by their first & last name. Adolf Hitler, Joseph Goebbels, Alfred Jodl, Ken Chisholm, Brittany Soler, Jordan Tanner, Jade Tanner, LaToya Tanner, Joe Tanner, Clinton Bill, Pete Plot, Krystyna Halles, Smoke Cigar, Stacie Todaro, Bridget Spotlow-Gabriel, and Sean Plone are in the mansion. So are Sophie the Otter and Reicheru the Ghost Girl. They also brought Catherine the Spellcaster and PMB reporter Randall Houlton, one of the oldest PMB reporters, and Brian Vinicombe, the oldest PMB reporter.

“These people will play UNO Dare; Bill, Plot, Jodl, Halles, and Cigar.” Hitler said. “Twitie Twitaro will play too. So will the infamous Eevee kidnappers!”

“All of us?!” Bridget said.

“Sit down!” Hitler shouted.

All of the eight players sit down.

“If a female has to take a dare, Mrs. Tanner will choose it, if a male, Mr… Mrs. Soler will choose it.” Randall Houlton said.

“You’re not the boss of this f***ing game!” Smoke said.

“We already decided… Smoke.” LaToya said.

“That’s a name?” Brittany said.

“It is my name, you better believe it’s a name!” Smoke shouted.

Brian Vinicombe throws a pencil at Smoke Cigar.

“Are we gonna have two pencil throwers?” Jodl said.

“WHY THE H*** NOT?!” Hitler yelled.

“I object to there being two pencil throwers!” Jodl said.

“Jodl…” Hitler said.

“What now?” Jodl asked.

“I OBJECT TO YOU!” Hitler shouted.

“I object to you objecting to me.” Jodl said.

Brian Vinicombe throws an eraser at Jodl.

“Each player starts with 7 cards.” Randall said.

All eight players get seven cards each. All of the cards are laminated.

“We all know this s***! I object to your help!” Jodl said.

“SHUT UP!” Goebbels shouted.

“PLAY BY RULES!” Brian shouted at Jodl.

The first card is a Green 7, Krystyna goes first.

“4!” Krystyna said, and puts down a Green 4.

“0!” Mr. Plot said. (Green 0)

Stacie takes a Red 1. It is Clinton Bill’s turn.

“6.” Clinton Bill said. (Green 6)

“Draw 2 or Dare 7, the next color is Green.” Bridget said. (Wild Dare 7)

“I object to that choice!” Jodl said.

“PLAY BY THE RULES, BALDY!” Brian said.

Brian Vinicombe is mean. But not to the heroes.

“Two or dare?” Hitler said.

“I pick dare because I wanna possibly win.” Jodl said.

“Dare!” Hitler said.

Brittany Soler will now choose from either the 7th dare her husband made, the 7th dare from either of the twins, or the 7th dare from Hitler.

“Jodl, do 75 chin-ups on the bar.” Brittany said.

“I object to that dare.” Jodl said.

“I OBJECT TO YOU! MOVE IT!” Brian said.

Jodl reluctantly goes to the bar to do chin-ups, it is Smoke’s turn.

“I don’t have any green.” Smoke said. She picks another card. Is that a green? No! Sean Plone goes now.

“1.” Sean said. (Green 1) It’s Krystyna’s turn again.

She doesn’t have any green, so she picks up another card. It’s not a green, but it’s a Wild Dare 5 or Draw 2. “Sorry Mr. Plot, 2 or Dare, I choose blue.” Krystyna said.

“Um… Dare.” Mr. Plot said.

“You have to stand up on one leg with high heels on until the next dare.” Brittany said.

Catherine casts a spell to change Mr. Plot’s shoes into high heels.

“Stand on one leg.” Catherine said.

Jodl returns.

“I’m all done with chin-ups.” Jodl said.

“YOU’RE NOT F***ING DONE! HOW DARE YOU DECEIVE US LIKE THAT?!” Hitler scolded Jodl. “Get back to doing chin-ups! 75! 75! 75!”

Jodl reluctantly goes back.

“Don’t come back till you’re DONE!” Hitler said.

“3.” Stacie said. (Blue 3)

“2 or Dare.” Clinton said. (Blue Dare 12)


 * sigh* “Dare.” Bridget said.

“Scratch your eyeballs with the middle finger until the next dare.” LaToya said.

Mr. Plot’s heels turn back into regular shoes.

Mr. Plot sits back down.

“I almost fell!” Mr. Plot said.

“You deserve it!” Brian said. “Bridget, scratch your eyeballs! And Jodl is gone so his turn is skipped! C’mon, Smoke!”

“8.” Smoke said. (Blue 8)

Mr. Plone picks up a Green 9.

As Bridget screams and cries from the pain of scratching her eyeballs...

“Reverse! Back to Mr. Plone!” Krystyna said. (Blue Reverse)

“Reverse, back to Krystyna!” Sean said. (Green Reverse)

Krystyna picks up a Green 0.

“0!” Krystyna said. (Green 0)

“8!” Pete said. (Green 8)

“2 or Dare, the color is yellow.” Stacie said. (Wild Dare 16)

“Dare.” Clinton said.

“Hit yourself in the face with a durian every turn until the next dare.” LaToya said.

A durian magically appears. Clinton hits himself in the face with a durian.

“OW!” Clinton screamed.

Bridget screams and cries from the pain.

“Maybe you’ll stop joining PETA! PETA! PETA! PETA! You seriously better stop crying! Stop crying! Stop crying! Stop crying!” Hitler shouted at Bridget.

“Jodl is gone, so it’s Smoke’s turn.” Brian said.

“Skip you, Sean.” Smoke said. (Yellow Skip)

Clinton hits himself with a durian.

“YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!” Clinton screamed.

Jodl returns.

“Whose turn is it now?” Jodl asked.

“It’s Krystyna’s turn.” Hitler said.

“2 or Dare.” Krystyna said. (Yellow Dare 14)

Clinton hits himself with a durian and tries hard not to scream.

“Dare.” Mr. Plot said.

The durian disappears.

“Mr. Plot, hit yourself in the face with an iron ball twice every turn until the next dare.” Brittany said.

Unmaker, already out of its Poké ball, spits out an iron ball and shoots it to Mr. Plot.

“OW! OWWWWW!” Mr. Plot screamed as he hit himself with an iron ball twice.

“Joe, your daughter is making Mr. Plot hit himself with an Iron Ball!” Sean said.

“Maybe he deserved it, FOCUS ON THE GAME AND SHUT THE F*** UP!” Joe shouted at Sean. “I’m not kidding! He gets what he deserves! Stacie, MOVE IT!”

As Mr. Plot hits himself in the face twice each turn until the next dare...

“9, calm it down.” Stacie said. (Yellow 9)

“I need to calm it down?” Joe scolded Stacie, he throws an eraser at Stacie.

“2.” Clinton said. (Yellow 2)

“6.” Bridget said. (Yellow 6)

“I finally get to go now! I will put down a 9!” Jodl said. (Yellow 9)

“0!” Smoke said. (Yellow 0)

“8!” Sean said. (Yellow 8)

“Please give me a dare card!” Krystyna said. She picks up a… Red 0.

“4.” Pete said. (Yellow 4)

Pete didn’t hit himself with an iron ball.

“3.” Stacie said. (Yellow 3)

“PETE PLOT WHY DIDN’T YOU HIT YOURSELF WITH AN IRON BALL?!” Hitler scolded Pete Plot.

“She said the coming dare, not the coming turn.” Jordan said.

“F*** twice, hit yourself in the head 5 times with that iron ball, and draw five cards.” Jade said.

“That’s not fair! Two is two!” Pete Plot said.

“Who gives a flying f***?” Jade said.

“Hit yourself in the head 5 times!” Hitler commanded to Mr. Plot. “5 TIMES! 5 TIMES! 5 TIMES!”

Pete reluctantly did so, otherwise, he hit himself twice. He also drew five cards, it’s Stacie’s turn. Clinton Bill has the lead to himself. Pete went from a tie for first to last place.

Stacie picks up a Yellow 1 and places it down.

Clinton puts down a Yellow 5. “I have three cards left!” He said.

Bridget, however, picks up a Green 7.

Jodl changes the color to Red with a Red 5.

“I have a Red too!” Smoke said. (Red 8)

Sean places a Red 6, Krystyna places a Red 7, then Pete places a Red 3, then Stacie places a Red 2, then Clinton places a Red 9, then Bridget places a Red 7.

Clinton Bill has 2 cards, Pete Plot has 8 cards, everyone else has either 4 or 5.

“I don’t have any reds, this is bulls***!” Jodl said.

“You’re the one to talk, pick up a f***ing card!”

He picks up a Green 9.

“It’s not a Red or a 7.” Jodl said.

“SHUT UP! It is Smoke’s turn!” Goebbels said.

“Reverse, back to Jodl.” Smoke said.

Jodl throughly read his pack of cards, puts down a wild dare 1.

“2 or Dare 1, the color is Blue.” Jodl said.

“Dare.” Bridget said.

“Alright, you get hit by three pencils every turn until the next dare!” LaToya said.

Hitler hits Bridget with three pencils every turn until the next dare.

“Stop it!” Bridget said.

“NO!” Hitler shouted.

“Reverse, back to Bridget!” Clinton said. (Blue Reverse)

“Clinton Bill…” Jade said.

“What now?” Clinton Bill said.

“You have one card left.” Jade said.

“Did you say you have one card left? Oh no! Draw three more cards!” Brian said.

“Smoke takes back the lead, with three cards left, the board goes to Stacie Todaro, and then Pete Plot, so far behind.” Randall said.

Clinton reluctantly draws three more cards.

“They’re actually not bad.” Clinton said. “Maybe I said too much…”

Stacie places down a Blue 6.

Pete Plot, however, places down a Red 6.

“Boom!” He said.

“0!” Krystyna said. (Red 0)

“Reverso!” Sean said. (Red Reverse)

Krystyna sighs. She picks up a Dare 4 card. But it’s not red!

Pete Plot also takes a card. It’s a red 2, he puts it down.

“Boo-yeah!” Mr. Plot said.

“Skip you, Clinton.” Stacie said. (Red Skip)

“Dare 9, the color’s green!” Bridget said. (Wild Dare 9)

“I’ll choose dare.” Jodl said.

“Let someone push you while you wear high heels.” Brittany said.

Catherine changes Jodl’s shoes to high heels.

“Baldy are you g** or something?” Hitler said.

“No I’m not my Fuhrer.” Jodl said.

Brian pushes Jodl. Jodl remains still but is dizzy.

“Aw, come on!” Smoke said, she picks up a Blue 2. “Screw you!”

“9!” Mr. Plone said, he put down a Green 9.

“Who will get Uno next? Stacie or Sean? Could be someone else, I doubt it, especially Mr. Plot. Jodl has a smaller chance than the rest.” Brian said.

“Are you playing this game?” Jodl scolded Brian.

“Jodl…” Hitler said.

“What now?” Jodl said.

“Shut your bald face now!” Hitler yelled, he throws a pencil at Jodl, then Brian throws an eraser at Jodl.

“My Fuhrer I object, that wasn’t even the dare!” Jodl said.

“SHUT UP NOW!” Hitler said.

Krystyna sighs. She puts down a Green Dare 4. “Dare 4.”

“Dare 4 for Mr. Plot.” Brian said.

“Mr. Plot will be soaked by a bucket of bleach.” Brittany said.

Catherine makes the bucket of bleach appear, bleach falls on Pete Plot.

Stacie takes a Red 1.

“Reverse!” Clinton puts down a green reverse. Back to Stacie.

Stacie takes a Red skip, it’s Mr. Plot’s turn now.

“1!” Pete said, he placed a Green 1.

Krystyna takes another card… a wild Dare 13, she puts it down!

“The color is blue.” Krystyna said.

“I choose Dare, I’m almost done.” Sean said.

“Alright…” Brittany said with an evil smile. “Let someone the same gender as you kiss you in the lip every turn until the next dare.”

Krystyna kisses Sean in the lip every turn until the next dare.

Smoke places a Blue 1. “1!”

“I skip you!” Jodl said. (Blue Skip)

“8.” Clinton places a Blue 8.

Stacie places a Blue 1, Pete Places a Blue Dare 15!

“Let someone hit you in the face with a rake every turn until the next dare.” LaToya said.

A rake appears.

Brian hits Krystyna in the face with a rake every turn until the next dare.

Sean takes another card.

“Change the color.” Smoke said, placing down a red Dare 2.

Brittany Soler has an evil grin on her face.

“Jodl, object to everything you actually like until the next dare!” Brittany said.

“I object to that dare!” Jodl said.

“Don’t you dare object to any dares!” Hitler scolded Jodl.

As Jodl objects to stuff he likes…

Bridget grabs a Green 8.

Clinton grabs a Red 4, which is the new card on the pile with drawn cards.

“Skip you, Mr. Plot.” Stacie said. (Red Skip)

Krystyna places down a blue skip! That skips Sean’s turn.

Smoke places down a Blue 2.

“Uno!” She said.

Jodl places a Blue 4, Bridget places a Blue 0, Clinton places a Blue 2.

“Uno!” Clinton Bill said.

“Two people with Uno?!” Jade said.

“Really?!” Ken said.

Pete Plot places down a Blue 5, Krystyna places down… another Blue 5!

“Uno!” Krystyna said.

“THREE?!” Joe said.

“That’s it.” Jordan said.

Sean Plone gets a Green 8.

Smoke gets a Red 4.

Jodl places a Blue 6.

Bridget places a Green 6.

“S*** f***!” Clinton said. The next card is a Dare 10.

Stacie gets a Dare 8 in green, places it down.

“2 or Dare, Mr. Plot?” Stacie said.

“Oh no…” Krystyna very quietly said.

“I choose Dare.” Mr. Plot said.

“Let someone hit you in the head with a mallet every turn until the next dare.” Brittany said.

Mr. Plot gasps in horror.

Brian hits Mr. Plot in the head with a mallet every turn until the next dare, it’s Krystyna Halles. Unfortunately for her, she does not have Uno.

Halles grabs a Green Skip, skipping Plone’s turn.

“Krystyna, you didn’t say Uno!” Ken said.

“Yes I already did!” Krystyna said.

“When did you say it?” Jordan said.

“My previous turn.” Krystyna said.

“Say it before and after. It doesn’t matter. Take three more cards.” Brian said. “Say it before and after, take three-”

“I GET IT NOW, SHUT YOUR-” Krystyna tries to finish.

Brian throws three erasers at Krystyna.

Krystyna reluctantly takes three more cards.

Smoke takes a card, places it down. It’s a Green 2.

Jodl puts down a Green 9.

“Uno!” Jodl said.

Bridget puts down a green skip.

“Skip you.” Bridget said.

Stacie gets a Yellow 2.

Pete Plot also gets a Blue 3.

Krystyna gets another card: a Red Dare 6.

Sean Plone places down a Green 8.

Smoke grabs a Yellow 7.

“Come on I object, how come I didn’t win?” Jodl said. He picks up the Red 8. Doesn’t say Uno.

“Jodl you didn’t say Uno! Therefore you must draw three more cards!” Hitler said.

“My Fuhrer I object, I already said Uno!” Jodl said.

“Last turn you didn’t, not this turn!” Hitler said.

“It doesn’t even matter.” Jodl said.

“Oh yes it of course it really does matter, now draw the cards!” Hitler said.

“Let me go again.” Jodl said.

“Baldy play by the rules, it’s Bridget’s turn!” Hitler said.

Bridget changes the color to green with a Green 8.

Clinton Bill grabs a Green 3, places it down.

“Come on Brian, stop giving me brain trauma.” Mr. Plot said.

“No!” Brian said. He attacks Mr. Plot with the mallet even harder.

Stacie grabs a Blue 7.

Pete Plot changes the color to Blue with a Blue 3.

Krystyna places down a Blue 7 this time.

Sean grabs a Red 4.

Smoke changes the color to yellow with a Yellow 7.

“Reverse!” Jodl said.

The baton is passed to Smoke Cigar.

Jodl places a Yellow 8, Smoke places a Yellow 1, said “Uno”, Sean places a Yellow 4, Krystyna places a Yellow 5, Pete places a Yellow 7, Stacie places a Yellow 2, Clinton Bill places Dare 10 on Bridget, says “Uno” as well! Now three people have Uno.

“I wanna keep my Uno, so I’ll take the dare.” Bridget said.

“Let someone hit you in the head with a fly swatter three times every turn until the next dare.” LaToya said.

Brian handled the swatter.

Jodl grabs a Yellow Skip.

“Skip you.” He said, and skipped Smoke’s turn, it’s Sean’s turn.

Sean grabs a Green 3, Krystyna grabs a Red 5, Pete grabs a Red 9, Clinton grabs a Green 5 so he doesn’t win, Bridget grabs a Wild Dare 11, places it down, the color is Green. However, she didn’t say Uno.

The pile with available cards has five cards left.

“Dare.” Jodl said.

“Before we reveal the dare, Bridget has to draw three more cards because she didn’t say Uno.” Randall said.

“F*** you!” Bridget said, he reluctantly takes three more cards.

Brittany reads the dare.

“Successfully spell a difficulty spelling word backwards, if you don’t, you draw 6 cards.” Brittany said. “Spell Onomatopoeia!”

“A… E…” Jodl said, tried to finish.

“Wrong! Five more cards!” Brittany said.

“I object to what you just said!” Jodl said.

“I OBJECT TO YOU, TAKE THE SIX CARDS!” Brittany shouted at Jodl with a stern voice.

Jodl takes the two cards left.

“Someone needs to reshuffle.” Jodl said.

Krystyna does it. Jodl reluctantly takes four more cards.

Smoke Cigar grabs a Yellow Skip.

Sean Plone places down his Green 3.

Krystyna grabs a Blue 7.

Pete grabs a Red 5.

Stacie grabs a Yellow 4.

Clinton Bill places down a Green 5.

“Uh, Uno.” Clinton said.

Bridget places down another Green 5, Jodl places down a Green 4.

Smoke Cigar grabs a Red 7.

Sean Plone places a Green 8.

Krystyna grabs a Red Skip.

Pete Plot grabs a Yellow 6, Stacie grabs a Green 4, places it down.

Clinton Bill’s next card he picks up is a Green 6, places it down, he says “Uno” again.

Bridget places a Dare 3. The color is still “green”.

“Repeatedly say I love Mario until the next dare.” Brittany said.

Jodl reluctantly does so.

Smoke takes a Blue 5. Sean Plone grabs a Green 1, places it on the deck. Krystyna grabs a Red 3, Pete Plot grabs a Red 1, changes the color. Stacie puts down another Red 1.

Clinton Bill picks up a Skip. Bridget grabs a Reverse and places it, it’s back to Clinton Bill. He places down his Yellow Reverse, the card he had for a very long time, not anymore. Nevertheless, it’s Bridget’s turn.

Bridget places down a Yellow 3, Jodl a Yellow 5, Smoke a Yellow Skip to skip Sean Plone’s turn, Krystyna a Yellow 6, Mr. Plot another Yellow 6, Stacie a Yellow 4, back to Clinton Bill. Clinton grabs a Red Reverse.

Bridget grabs a Dare 11 and places it.

“The color is Green.” Bridget said.

“It’s raining mentos on you until the upcoming dare.” Brittany said.

Catherine casts the endless Mentos spell, which falls on Jodl’s head. Smoke grabs a Blue 1. Sean grabs a Blue 6. Krystyna grabs a Reverse, it’s back to Sean Plone.

Sean picks up a Red 8, Smoke picks up a Yellow Skip.

Jodl places a Green 2, Bridget places a Green 5, says “Uno.”

Clinton picks up a Blue 0, Stacie picks up a Red 0. Pete picks up a Yellow 1.

Krystyna picks up a Green 8, places it. Sean Plone places a Red 8, Smoke places a Red 7, Jodl places a Red Skip, Clinton Bill places a Blue Skip, Stacie places a Blue 7, Pete places a Blue 0, Krystyna places a Blue 4, Sean places a Blue 6, Smoke places a Blue 5, Jodl places a Blue 9.

Bridget picks up a Dare 2. Clinton Bill places a Blue 0.

“Uh, Uno.” The 20-year old man said.

“Nice try Clinton, Uno.” Stacie said as she put down a Red 0.

“Nice try Stacie, f*** it.” Pete Plot said as he put down a Yellow 0.

Krystyna grabs a Green 0 and places it.

“Nice try Mr. Plot, four different colored 0s in a row? Wow!” Krystyna said. “Who cares?!”

“S***.” Sean Plone said, picks up a Yellow 2. Smoke picks up a Red 6.

Jodl places a Red 0, Bridget places a Red Dare 2.

“Uno, draw two or Dare two?” Bridget asked.

“Dare two.” Clinton said.

“Repeatedly say f*** you to all of the other players until the next dare.” Brittany said.

Clinton does so.

Stacie Todaro places a Red 1 and wins.

“I win!” Stacie said.

“I don’t give a flying f***, the rest of you shall keep playing.” Hitler said.

Mr. Plot places a Red 9, Krystyna a Red Dare 6.

“Sean, hop on one foot with high heels until the next dare.” Brittany said.

Catherine changes Sean Plone’s shoes to high heels.

“Hop now!” Hitler said.

Sean Plone puts down a Red 3, Smoke a Red 6. Jodl grabs a Blue 5.

Bridget grabs a Red 8, places it down, said “Uno.”

Clinton Bill places a Red Reverse, places 2nd.

Bridget grabs a Yellow 7, Jodl grabs a Yellow 8.

Smoke Cigar places a Red 4, Sean then places his own Red 4, said “Uno!”.

Krystyna places a Red skip, Bridget grabs a Green 1.

Jodl grabs a Red 6, draws it.

Smoke grabs a Yellow Reverse.

Sean grabs a Yellow 8.

Krystyna places a Red 5, Pete Plot places his own Red 5.

Bridget grabs a Blue 1, then Jodl changes the color by placing a Blue 5.

Smoke Cigar places a Blue 1.

Sean grabs… a Wild Dare 9!

“Krystyna, two or Dare?” Sean said.

“Eh, two.” Krystyna said.

Krystyna draws two cards.

“The color is Yellow.” Sean said.

“Uno!” Mr. Plot said as he placed his Yellow 1.

Bridget placed her Yellow 7, Jodl placed her Yellow 0, Smoke placed her Yellow Reverse.

Back to Jodl, who placed a Yellow 8 and said “Uno!”

Bridget grabs a Yellow 1, places it.

Pete grabs a Blue 8, Krystyna grabs a Yellow 7, places it.

Sean Plone places a Yellow 8, Smoke places a Yellow Skip. Smoke Cigar is in third now. It’s Bridget’s turn. Her next card is a Blue 8.

Pete Plot grabs a Yellow 7, places it. Krystyna places a Green 7. Sean Plone is forced to grab another card; it’s a Blue Reverse.

Jodl places a Green 9.

“I win!” Jodl said.

“You didn’t even make the top three.” Jade said.

“Whatever.” Jodl said.

Bridget places a Green 7.

“This match is halfway over!” Jade said.

Mr. Plot grabs a Blue Reverse. Krystyna places a Blue 7.

Sean Plone places his own Blue Reverse.

“Uno!” Sean said.

Krystyna grabs a Dare 14.

Pete Plot uses his Blue Reverse. Krystyna picks up a Yellow 4, she has the most cards. Sean picks up a Blue 3, draws it.

Bridget draws a Blue 8. Mr. Plot draws his own Blue 8. “Uno!” He said.

Krystyna takes a Dare 13 and uses it.

“Sean, 2 or dare?” Krystyna said.

“Dare.” Sean said.

“Repeatedly double-slap yourself in the face until the next dare.” Brittany said.

Sean Plone reluctantly does so.

“The color is yellow.” Krystyna said.

Bridget takes a Blue 4. Pete Plot grabs a Blue Skip. Krystyna uses her Dare 14 on Sean.

“Sean, 2 or Dare again.” Krystyna said.

“Dare! I have one card left!” Sean said.

“Hit yourself in the face with an iron ball twice every turn until the next dare!” Brittany said.

Bridget grabs another card; places the yellow 9 she just grabbed.

Pete Plot changes the color with a Blue 9, and says “Uno!”

Krystyna changes the color with a Red 9.

Sean grabs a Blue 4. Bridget grabs a Blue skip.

Pete Plot grabs a Yellow 9. “Uno.” He said as he placed it down.

Krystyna places a Yellow 4 and says “Uno!” Sean places a Blue 4 and says “Uno!” as well. Bridget places her own Blue 4. Pete Plot places a Blue skip to finish fifth.

Krystyna grabs another card. The card is a Blue 7. She placed it and said “Uno!” again.

Sean grabs another card. It’s a Blue 3, he said “Uno!” after placing it.

In this match of three, Bridget, the only one without Uno, used her Blue skip, skipping Krystyna’s turn.

Sean Plone’s only card is a Yellow 2, he grabs another Yellow 2!

“Uno!” Bridget said as she placed down a Blue 1.

Krystyna picks up a Dare 12, it’s Blue, on Sean Plone.

“Scratch your eyeball with the middle finger until the next dare, if never, f*** it.” Brittany said.

Sean scratches his eyeballs with the middle finger.

Bridget draws a Dare 7.

“Uno, and Green is the color.” Bridget said.

Krystyna picks up a Blue 2.

Sean Plone picks up a Dare 5 and used it.

“The color is Yellow.” Sean said.

“You get soaked by a bucket of blood.” LaToya said.

Catherine casts a spell to cover Bridget in blood.

Bridget screams like crazy.

Krystyna picks up a Green 3.

Sean draws a Yellow 2, says “Uno!”

Bridget grabs a Blue 2.

Krystyna grabs a Dare 15.

Sean places a Yellow 2 on the deck, finishing 6th. Now it’s between Bridget and Krystyna.

Bridget grabs a Green Skip. Krystyna grabs a Dare 10 and places it.

“Bridget, hit yourself in the head with a baseball bat repeatedly until the next dare.” LaToya said.

A baseball bat appears within striking distance of Bridget.

Bridget reluctantly does so.

Bridget picks up Reverse, Krystyna draws Dare 15.

“50 chin-ups on the bar. With high heels. Don’t finish on time and your turn is skipped. Go!”

Bridget reluctantly moves to the room.

Krystyna places a Blue 2, gets a Green Reverse, then a Wild Dare 1.

“Green.” Krystyna said.

Krystyna places a Green Reverse, then a Green 3, then said “Uno!”, then a Red 3, and therefore places 7th, Bridget places 8th.

While Bridget is doing chin ups, her other cards are Green Reverse, Green Skip, Blue 2, and Green 1.