Spotlow-Garbiel Family Funeral for Nicolette's Mom Kellie Power

O[The van stops at the church]

David: "Be on your best behavior!"

Jason/Bridget/Andi: "Okay!"

[Frank is playing a Grand Theft Auto game on the PS Vita]

Frank (At the PS Vita): "Die!"

Nicolette: "Give me the PS Vita or you will lose it for the rest of the day."

Frank: "NO!"

[Nicolette turns it off]

[Nicolette puts the PS Vita in her purse]

Nicolette: "You just lost it."

Frank: "I hate you!"

[The family enters the church]

David (to Nicolette): "I hadn't been to this church for years here!"

Frank: "F***! I need to play video games!"

David: "No video games in church!"

[Frank goes on his MP3 and listens to Caillou by Lil B without headphones]

[The other people at the funeral get distracted]

Nicolette: "Frank Malcolm Spotlow-Garbiel!"

Frank: "I'm PBS like Caillou. D.T.F like Caillou. My (bleep) fresh like Caillou. She get wet like Caillou. The realest did it like Caillou. I (bleep) it in like Caillou. Bad (bleep) gone suck (bleep). Need 30 minutes like Caillou!"

David: "Frank!"

Frank: "What?"

David: "Don't let your younger sister copy the bad words or sing it in the funeral, it's a sad day!"

Priest: "My friends, we are all gathered here to bid farewell to Kellie Power."

Frank: "I'm young as (bleep) like Caillou. Don't fail like Caillou. I go for it like Caillou. (bleep) DORA, CAILLOU!"

[Frank changes the music to Drop the World runs around the casket half-naked]

David: "Young man, you put your clothes back on!"

[Frank kicks the organ and changes the music to Right Round by Flo Rida]

[Frank walks up to the podium]

Frank: "Grandma Kellie wasn't sweet, kind or helpful! She was rude, grouchy, miserable, irritable, annoying and had a bad temper! She threw my favorite toys in the garbage for her own sick pleasure, spanked me for no reason, burped in my face, and even blew her nose on my favorite shirt! She was the most horrible person you have ever met. I had to miss School Carnival Day, and it is all her fault! I'm not lying, for she was a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad person! Thank you."

nicolette: "Frank, that was the worst eulogy I have ever heard!"

Funeral Aftermath
Nicolette: "FRANCIS MALCOM SPOTLOW-GARBIEL!"

Frank: "WHAT MOTHERF***ER?!"

Nicolette: "Write a 20-page essay explaining what you did wrong, and then write sorry notes!"

Frank: "NO!"

Nicolette: "If you do not start your essay explaining the errors of your ways and the sorry letters, then I will ban you from your video games and Rolie Polie Olie for a month!"

[Frank reluctantly gets a pencil and starts writing his essay]

[Frank's essay says F*** OFF! NO ONE LIKES YOU (censored)! I WONT BE SORRY STUPID!]

[Nicolette comes back down stairs and looks at the essay]

Nicolette: "OK. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, FRANK, YOU WILL NOT BE WATCHING ROLIE POLIE OLIE FOR A MONTH! YOU LOST YOUR VIDEO GAMES FOR A MONTH BECAUSE YOUR ESSAY IS NOT GOOD!"

[Nicolette rubs it out using an eraser]

Nicolette: [raises her voice at Frank] "FRANK! BECAUSE YOUR PREVIOUS ESSAY WAS TERRIBLE, YOU NOW HAVE TO RESTART YOUR ESSAY!!!!!!!!!!"

Frank: "NEVER!"

Nicolette: "If you do not write the essay explaining what you did wrong and the nice, heartfelt sorry notes, you WILL BE BANNED FROM WATCHING ROLIE POLIE OLIE AND FROM PLAYING YOUR VIDEO GAMES PERMANENTLY!!!"

David: "Nicolette."

15 minutes later

Nicolette: "On second thought, Francis Malcolm Spotlow-Garbiel! Because neither your essay nor sorry letters are good enough, in the meantime, whilst I, now sell all your former video games, your Rolie Polie Olie DVDs, your Shaun the Sheep DVDS and your Wallace and Gromit DVDs on eBay, you ARE BANNED FROM WATCHING ROLIE POLIE OLIE, SHAUN THE SHEEP AND WALLACE AND GROMIT AND FROM PLAYING YOUR VIDEO GAMES PERMANENTLY!!!!"

Frank: "We'll just see about that, mother."

Nicolette: [talks to Frank firmly instead of raising her voice] "Frank, this is warning, If you dare flush my iPhone down the toilet, You will be grounded for all eternity and you will be sent to bed earlier.

[Frank throws his mother's iPhone into the toilet and flushes it down]

David: "YOU ARE NOW OFFICALLY GROUNDED FOR LIFE WITH NO HOPE FOR TV!"

[Frank stabs his mother, Jason, Bridget, and father with knives]

[Frank sets fire to the house]

Frank has been released
Policeman: “Sorry but your son Frank beheaded an officer, he also punched another, and stabbed another, I am afraid that we are out of reinforcements!!!!!!!!!!”

Aftermath
[Frank attacks Jason and Bridget but reverses]

Frank: “DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Jason: ”F**K YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Bridget: “YOU STUPID BOY!!!!!!!!!!”

David: “FRANCIS MALCOLM SPOTLOW GARBRIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!! JASON EILLOT SPOTLOW GARBRIEL AND BRIDGET EMILY SPOTLOW GARBRIEL!!!!!!!! I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! BRIDGET, YOU ARE BANNED FROM HAVING YOUR PETA ACTIONS, TV, COMPUTER, IPHONE, AND ANIMAL PLANET FOREVER, JASON, YOUR ARE BANNED FROM PLAYING HOCKEY, WATCHING STAR WARS, BEN 10, RUGRATS, AND BUILDING LEGOS FOREVER, FRANCIS, YOU ARE BANNED FROM WATCHING WALLACE AND GROMIT, SHAUN THE SHEEP, PB&J OTTER, ROLLIE POLIE OLIE, PLAYING YOUR, NINTENDO 3TS, PSVITA, WII 30, PC, XBOX ONE, PS7, AND NINTENDO SWITCH FOREVER, YOU ARE NOT SEEING ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOREVER, UNTIL YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR BEHAVIOR, I AM SENDING YOU ALL TO RESDENTIAL TREATMENT CENTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Bridget: “CRAM IT!!!!!!!!!!”

Jason: “GET BENT!!!!!!!!!!!”

Frank: “EAT MY SHORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”