Keaton Family/Transcript

Naughty Log
Bernice: "Polly, don't say a bad word to mommy. Say it again and you will be going on the Naughty Log."

Polly: "Oh, you son of a (bleep)!"

Bernice: "Let's go, you're gonna sit on the Naughty Log."

[Bernice deposits Polly on the Naughty Log and confiscates her Blue's Clues Blue plush toy]

Polly: "You are a donkey."

Bernice: "Mommy doesn't want those bad words because they hurt other people's feelings. Now you have to stay here for 4 minutes. Now your Blue is in toy jail!"

[Bernice leaves Polly on the Naughty Log]

[Polly escapes from the Naughty Log and darts into Bernice's bedroom and watches her Blue's Clues: Arts and Crafts VHS on TV]

[Bernice uses a screwdriver to unlock the door and enters the room]

Bernice: "Why does Polly always try to escape from the Naughty Log every time? It is so exhausting."

Bernice: "Hey. You cannot watch Blue's Clues. I am asking you to sit back down on the Naughty Log."

[Bernice turns off the TV, confiscates Polly's Blue's Clues: Arts and Crafts VHS and puts Polly back on the Naughty Log]

[Polly takes the said VHS out of the "Toy Time-out Box" returns to Bernice's room, inserts the VHS into the video tape door and continues watching what she is watching]

Bernice: "Polly, when I say 'no video,' I mean 'no video,' now let's go back to the Naughty Log."

[Bernice confiscates the VHS and puts Polly back on the Naughty Log and walks away]

[Polly returns to Bernice's room and continues watching the Blue's Clues VHS on TV]

Bernice: "Polly, I'm not kidding. You still need to stay in timeout."

[Bernice confiscates Polly's Blue's Clues VHS, locks it in the portable safe, and puts Polly back on the Naughty Log]

[Polly leaves the Naughty Log and tosses the safe containing her VHS to the ground]

[The safe remains unbroken]

Polly: "I will chose another video to watch my show."

[Polly quickly grabs her Blue's Clues: Story Time VHS out of the drawer and dashes into Bernice's bedroom, inserts the VHS into the videotape door and watches it on TV]

[Bernice is on her computer checking her e-mail]

Bernice: "I wonder what she is doing right now."

Jo: "Let's check your room again."

[Bernice and Jo walk into Bernice's room]

Jo: "Polly, you are currently in timeout. There is no need to watch Blue's Clues. Come back right now. I am not joking nor playing games with you."

[Polly throws a pillow at Jo]

Jo: "Polly! You do not throw a pillow at Jo-Jo! That is not acceptable. Now your timeout is automatically 8 minutes long! Go back to the Naughty Log immediately! Now that is the second Blue's Clues video that needs to be in the safe!"

Green Smoothie
Bernie: "If I hear a naughty word come out of your mouth...this is what will happen,"

Polly: "(bleep)!!!"

[Bernice makes Polly drink the Green Smoothie]

Polly: "Blecch! Tastes like vomit!"

Bernie: "Don't swear then."

[Polly throws the Green Smoothie on Bernie's dress]

Bernice: "Hey! This dress was so expensive! It cost me a lot of money!"

Jo: "Put Polly straight into timeout."

[Bernice places Polly onto the Naughty Log]

Jo: "Explain why she's there."

Bernie: "Polly, you have been placed on this log because you ruined my dress by throwing the Green Smoothie on it. That was not nice, because I have paid a lot of money on this dress."

Jo: "Walk away Mom."

Bernie: "What was in that Green Smoothie?"

[Bernie walks away with no conversation]