Bill Slater Goes to Military School

Note: This is a continuation to Slater Family's Christmas (2020).

First Day at Military School
[Bill is at the Yugo Madame Military School in Fort Benton, Montana. Here, he and a bunch of cadets come face to face with Sgt. Mike Buttlers]

Buttlers: WELCOME TO YUGO MADAME MILITARY SCHOOL!!! YOU WILL SPEND THE NEXT FEW WEEKS OR MONTHS IN THIS SCHOOL!!! HERE, WE TAKE NAUGHTY LITTLE SHITS LIKE YOU AND TURN THEM INTO DECENT MEMBERS OF SOCIETY. FOR YOUR ENTIRE TIME HERE, YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS SIR!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!

Cadets: YES SIR!!!

Buttlers: NOW WE WILL BEGIN TODAY BY DOING EXERCISES!!! NOW LET'S GO!!!

[The cadets do Army-like exercises, but Bill is doing poorly]

Buttlers: COME ON, PRIVATE!!! GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE AND DO SOME BURPEES!!!

Bill: I can't, sir!

Buttlers: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T DO SOME FUCKING BURPEES?!?! YOU DID SOME DAMN PUSH UPS AND SIT UPS!!! WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!?!

Bill: I just don't wanna do then, sir!

Buttlers: EXCUSE ME?!?! YOU HAVE NO CONTROL HERE!!! YOU DO SOME BURPEES RIGHT NOW OR IT'S PUNISHMENT TIME FOR YOU!!!

Bill: FUCK OFF!!!

[Bill punches Sgt. Mike Buttlers in the face and then dashes off]

Buttlers: (on a walkie talkie) I NEED SOME BACKUP!!! ONE OF THE CADETS PUNCHED ME AND IS ATTEMPTING TO ESCAPE!!!

[A K9 unit comes and tackles Bill to the ground]

Bill: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

[Bill punches the K9 several times, injuring one of it's leg]

Buttlers: WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT, PRIVATE?!?! YOU WANNA INJURE ONE OF MY FUCKING DOGS?!?! 100 PUSH UPS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

Bill: That's too much!

Buttlers: 200 NOW!!!

[Bill does 200 push ups]

Buttlers: You did the position wrong. Do it again.

Bill: No!

Buttlers: DO IT NOW!!! AND YOU GOT 300 NOW FOR NOT ADDRESSING ME AS SIR!!!

[Bill does 300 push ups]

Bill: I need water, sir! I'm dying!

Butters: You want water? I'll give you some water!

[Buttlers splashes hot water on Bill]

Bill: AH!!! IT'S TOO HOT!!!

Buttlers: THAT'S FOR HURTING ONE OF MY K9 UNITS!!! NOW GET YOUR ASS UP AND CONTINUE THE DAMN EXERCISES!!!

Second Day
Buttlers: TODAY YOU LITTLE SHITS WILL BE RUNNING DOWN THIS OBSTACLE COURSE!!! LET'S GO!!!

[As the other cadets are doing to obstacle, Bill is struggling due to exhaustion from yesterday]

Buttlers: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STRUGGLING, PRIVATE?!?!

Bill: Because I'm tired, sir!

Buttlers: TIRED?!?! I'M TIRED OF DEALING WITH FUCKFACES LIKE YOU, BUT I DON'T COMPLAIN!!! NOW LET'S GO!!!

[Bill gets the obstacle course done]

Buttlers: Well I'm impressed, private! You did get last in the obstacle course!

Bill: Thank you, sir!

Buttlers: BUT NOW WE WILL DO IT 15 MORE TIMES!!! HOP TO IT!!!

Bill: Oh no...

Escape Attempt
Bill: I'm tired of this! I wanna go home!

Lester: I have an idea! Tonight, we bust out of here!

Bill: Good idea!

[That night, Bill and Lester exit the bunkroom]

Bill: Let's stay on the low. We don't wanna get caught.

[Suddenly, a light catches them]

Tower Guards: HEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

Bill: OH SHIT!!! RUN!!!

[Bill and Lester attempt to flee, but then they come across Sgt. Mike Buttlers]

Buttlers: (growling) WHAT... THE FUCK... ARE YOU TWO DOING?

Bill: Uh... doing extra credit, sir?

Punishment
Buttlers: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TURDS TRIED TO ESCAPE. NO ONE HAS EVER ESCAPED HERE EVER!!! NOW YOU TWO WILL BE PUNISHED!!!

[Buttlers begins to spank the two with a paddle]

Bill: OW OW OW!!! HOLY FUCK!!! MY FUCKING ASS!!!

Lester: STOP SIR!!! WE'RE SORRY!!! WE WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!!!

Buttlers: WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED, FAG FUCKS!!!

[Buttlers then proceeds to cane the two]

Bill: FUCKER ASS CUCK SUCKER!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH!!!

Lester: KILL ME!!! KILL ME NOW!!!

Buttlers: YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU WERE DEAD BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH YOU!!!

[Buttlers then locks the two in a room, and it blasts extreme heavy metal music at full blast]

Bill: AH!!! MY EAR DRUMS!!! LET US OUT!!!

Lester: I FUCKING HATE HEAVY METAL MUSIC!!! LET US OUT LET US OUT LET US OUT!!!

Buttlers: NO!!! YOU GAY BOYS WILL SPEND THE NIGHT HERE!!! GOOD NIGHT, AND I HOPE THE BED BUGS GIVE YOU STDS!!!

New Years Eve
Buttlers: It's New Years Eve, shitheads! And instead of spending today celebrating with champagne and cakes, we will be celebrating with exercises! Now hop to it!

[The cadets do various exercises, but Bill is being defiant and refusing to do it]

Bill: NO!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO OBEY YOUR ORDERS AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND LESTER?!?! I KNOW WHAT WE DID WAS WRONG, BUT YOU ARE NOT GONNA FUCKING TORTURE AND ABUSE US LIKE THAT!!!

Buttlers: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN TORTURE AND ABUSE!!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN TORTURE AND ABUSE YET!!! YOU KEEP THIS UP AND I'LL MAKE SURE TO LOCK YOU IN THE SAME ROOM AND BLAST SOME 6IX9INE!!!

Bill: THAT'S IT!!!

[Bill breaks both of Buttlers's legs]

Buttlers: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR GODDAMN PROBLEM, PRIVATE?!?!

Bill: DON'T FUCKING CALL ME PRIVATE!!! YOU WILL CALL ME YOUR WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

[Bill breaks both of Buttlers's arms]

Buttlers: STOP!!! YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD WHEN I RECOVER YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!

[Bill then takes iron exercise balls and slams them on Buttlers's stomach]

Buttlers: OW!!! STOP!!!

Bill: NO!!! THIS IS FOR ALL THE ABUSE YOU DID TO US ALL!!!

[Bill then rips off Buttlers's arms and legs]

Buttlers: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Call from Home
Mark: That was a fantastic New Years party! Too bad Bill the motherfucker couldn't be here with us!

Daniel: Speaking of whom, I wonder what Bill is doing right now.

[The phone rings, and Martha picks up]

Martha: Hello?

Grover: Yes, this is General Grover calling. Is this the Slater family?

Martha: Yes. What happened?

Grover: We are sending Bill back early.

Martha: Early? What did he do?

Grover: Bill went insane and proceed to break Sgt. Mike Buttlers's arms and legs, slam a iron exercise ball on his stomach several times, and lastly teared off his arms and legs like a madman! Buttlers is barely alive, and Bill is so lucky that we are not pressing charges on him!

Martha: OH MY GOD!!! DID YOU HEAR THAT, DANIEL?!?! OUR SON ALMOST KILLED SOMEBODY!!!

Mark: I knew this would eventually happen!

Martha: SHUT UP MARK!!! We are so sorry about this, sir. Please send our child back home.

Grover: Okay.

Bill Returns Home
Martha: BILL SLATER!!! HOW DARE YOU ALMOST KILL THE DRILL SARGENT!!!

Bill: He deserved it for abusing us!

Daniel: Still, you tell a trusted person! You don't mutilate their bodies!

Bill: Well that's what he gets!

Martha: As a punishment, you will spend the entirety of January doing community services in the homeless shelter, church, orphanage, and animal shelter! You also lost all privileges during this time!

Bill: FUCK OFF WITH THAT COMMUNITY SERVICE SHIT!!!

[Bill runs outside and away from home]

Daniel: Don't worry, Martha! Bill's gonna learn that it's not okay to misbehave eventually!