The Anti-Vaxxers/Transcript

Vaccination Time!
Reicheru: "Attention team, it is time for vaccination on our younger members and those with weakened immune systems. Vaccines are mandatory."

[Cut to Charlotte Mixie, who feels uninterested in participating in the vaccination]

Reicheru: "I repeat, vaccines are mandatory!"

Sophie: "And by mandatory, we mean that youth and members with poor immune systems should get vaccinated for a healthier life!"

[Cut back to Charlotte Mixie, who is groaning]

Charlotte: "I don't feel like it, and I have valid reasons why."

[Saoirse goes up to her]

Saoirse: "Honestly, Look, you risk giving some of the older ghosts and people from different time periods diseases they have little to no immunity to, diseases discovered in the 20th century and their outbreaks can wipe out everyone in American Civil War-era America, me and my brother is immunocompromised, which means we cannot be vaccinated due to our deaths, him TB and starvation and mine malaria, but thanks to mandatory vaccines and immunity, me and him are protected from serious infections and the measles can leave Joseph fighting for his life, But there is medicine, and it is alot better than the ones used back in the 1860's, He still has symptoms of tuberculosis and you risk making it worse."

Maria: "I agree, don't take risks with their lives, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them."

Wei: "" (Translation: Yes, Me too, I may be from a time where medicine was herbal, but, I still need to get vaccines for god's sake, because without them, I can get diseases that I have never been exposed to before)

Cuong: "Look, please Charlotte, I am not immunocompromised, the village I lived in had EPI shots that protected me as a baby, but my bacterial infection was undiscovered and even went under operations by doctors that came to my village, but, it's not as bad now, I can now pronounce Ho Chi Minh's name as a 20-year old man, but you, you are in danger of killing 60% of the younger members."

Charlotte: "But, doesn't that mean the 60% you're talking about have the potential to get autism?"

Cuong: "F*** no! I don't believe in s*** like that!"

Charlotte: "There's a lot of proof that can validate my claim though."

Saoirse: "What proof?"

Charlotte: "I'll show you..."

[Patrick McCormick goes up to Charlotte]

Patrick: "Look at me, I have a brother who is still alive, He suffered E. coli food poisoning and he had to get a kidney removed then a new one transplanted, he risks getting diseases he doesn't have an immunity to, a bout of TB can kill him, My mum doesn't need to lose another son!"

Charlotte: "Excuse me, but I'm actually planning on creating a presentation to expose my claims to you."

Patrick: "I don't think your claims are going to work."

Charlotte: "Believe me, they will! Goodbye!" (leaves)

Patrick: "Whoop de doo, she's off to shove her stupid point in our faces."

Charlotte Goes Too Far
Charlotte: "Alright, you all. Listen up. I have created a presentation that will prove that vaccines can cause autism. The presentation uses information from trusted websites and other sources."

[The rest of the team just groans as Charlotte goes to the first slide]

Charlotte: (reading the first slide) "When people think of vaccinations, they think of receiving immunity from many deadly diseases."

Sophie: (quietly) "Obviously..."

Charlotte: (continues reading the first slide) "However, the medics fail to notice that there's one tiny flaw in their vaccinations."

Reicheru: "Let me guess, it causes autism?"

Charlotte: (reading the second slide) "It causes autism."

[Reicheru facepalms]

Reicheru: "F***..."

No Excuses, You're Leaving
Sophie: "Charlotte Mixie, can you come here, please?"

Charlotte: "No thank you, I still believe that vaccinations are harmful."

Reicheru: "You heard the otter! Get your a** over here RIGHT NOW!"

Charlotte: (sighs) "You win..."

[Charlotte comes to the commanders]

Reicheru: "We're all tired of your bulls*** claims that vaccinations cause autism."

Sophie: "Agreed. Heck, I can imagine that right now, Penn Jillette would be p***ed off and facedesking."

Reicheru: "Since you can't seem to handle mandatory vaccinations, it has come to the conclusion that you're banned from the Team Terrific 10 permanently."

Charlotte: "You can't do this! I already gave you proof that vaccines can give people autism!"

Reicheru: "No one in this base could give two f***s about that. You're leaving."

Charlotte: "Your team must be relying on the wrong sources."

Sophie: "ENOUGH! Get out."