Bedrich Family/Transcript

Tonight on Supernanny
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny, Annie heads to Alaska on a rescue mission to tame 20 tots who terrorize their young single mom, who is at wit's end."

Announcer: "20 tots work together as a team."

Submission Reel
???: "Hi, I'm Camille. I'm a single mom and college student. My partner left me behind after meeting another woman on the computer. My kids and I were originally from Canada."

Observation Begins
Annie: "Did your kids ruin any holidays, Camille?"

Camille: "Unfortunately, yes. Thanksgiving and Christmas were ruined."

Annie: "How so?"

Camille: "First of all, Thanksgiving was ruined, because "

Annie: " "

Camille: "Well in Christmas, we went shopping until my children began shoplifting over $500 dollars of merchandise. On Christmas Eve, they all began a tremendous food fight with their cousins. And on Christmas Day, they stole presents from their cousins, took revenge on them for getting presents, and when playing outside, they defecated and urinated on the snow."

Mall Mayhem
Annie: "Later on, mom took the kids to go to the mall to buy a birthday present for their cousin, but it was nothing but appalling."

[Camille parks her limo at the mall]

[Eve shoplifts a PB&J Otter DVD]

Camille: "Eve, put that PB&J Otter DVD back."

[Banjo runs to the toy store and shoplifts a Diego plush]

Camille: "Banjo, put that Diego plush back."

[Bubbles spits at an adult man's face]

Camille: "Bubbles, you do not spit at anyone."

[Night places a whoopee cushion on a bench]

Camille: "Night, don't do that."

[Courtland pulls an adult woman's hair]

Camille: "Courtland, let that lady's hair go."

[Charles runs into a Starbucks coffee shop and plays with a cash register]

Camille: "Charles, leave the cash register alone."

[Clayton scratches a security guard in the neck]

Camille: "Clayton, you don't scratch people; it hurts very much."

[Oliver removes his clothes and runs through the mall naked while Camille tries to catch him]

Camille: "Oliver, come back here and put your clothes back on before someone sees you!"

[Ash jumps into a fountain with his clothes on]

Camille: "Ash, come out of the fountain."

[Megan runs to a candy shop and shoplifts a few pieces of candy]

Camille: "Megan, put all of that candy back."

[Danielle runs to an unauthorized area]

Camille: "Danielle, get out of there. You do not have permission to go there."

[Sandy urinates on some plants]

Camille: "Sandy, no! You do not go pee-pee on the plants."

[Binky goes to a Ralph Lauren shop and hits a shopkeeper]

Camille: "Excuse me! Binky, we don't hit people. That is not nice. And come out of the shop."

[Grace goes into an elevator alone]

Camille: "Grace, where are you?"

[Rocky defecates on a bench]

Camille: "Rocky, you do not take a dump on that bench."

[Belinda puts fake doo-doo on the floor, steps back, and sees a man step on it]

[Belinda laughs at that]

Camille: "Belinda, please don't place fake doo-doo on the floor, and it is not funny."

[Matilda goes to the Disney Store and knocks over some toys on a shelf]

Camille: "Matilda, pick up the toys and put them back where they belong."

[Henrietta pushes a security guard to a fountain]

Camille: "Henrietta. No pushing, please."

[Bryce flips off a customer]

Camille: "Bryce, you do not flip people off."

[Ladonna climbs on a gargoyle statue]

Camille: "Ladonna! Get down from there now! You do not climb on the statue."

Annie: "And when the vigintuplets wanted McDonald's when Mom said they were going to have Subway, they threw a very epic tantrum."

Megan: "WE WANT MCDONALD'S!!!!"

Camille: "Not today, we will be having Subway. Now into the stroller you go."

[Camille deposits her vigintuplets into the stroller]

[The vigintuplets begin throwing a epic and scary tantrum]

5 minutes later

[Camille and her kids arrive at Subway]

Dinner at the Restaurant
Annie: " "

[Binky, Sandy, Megan, Ladonna, Charles, Grace, Courtland, Night, Rocky, Belinda, Ash, Clayton, Henrietta, Danielle, Matilda, Bryce, Banjo, Eve, Oliver, Bubbles and Camille are sitting down at a restaurant]

Camille: "You're having vegetables for your dinner and then you're having fresh fruit salad."

[Bubbles turns his nose at his plate full of cabbage and beets]

Bubbles: "Yuck! I hate cabbage and beets! I hate when you order for us!"

Banjo: "Celery is gross! I don't wanna try it!"

Camille: "Just try them, guys."

Bubbles: "I don't want to eat my beets and cabbages!"

[Clayton picks at his garden vegetable salad]

Clayton: "Carrots, yucky...cucumbers, yucky...onions, yucky and smelly...tomatoes, smelliest...mushrooms, yuckiest...beans, stinky...peas, stinkiest..."

Eve: "Tomatoes and mushrooms are yucky!"

Oliver: "Ew, I hate spinach and broccoli!"

Charles: "Turnips are yucky!"

Ladonna: "And these peppers taste terrible!"

Ash: "Pineapples and shrimp smell awful!"

Binky: "Onions are the yuckiest!"

Banjo: "I hate celery!"

Bryce: "Broccoli is stinky!!"

Sandy: "I don't like salmon."

Matilda: "And I don't like turnips. Care to trade plates, Bryce?"

Bryce: "Sure."

[Matilda trades her turnip plate for Bryce's broccoli plate]

[Bryce eats the turnips whilst Matilda eats the broccoli]

Bryce/Matilda: "All gone."

Binky: "I'll trade my onion plate for your celery plate, Banjo."

Banjo: "Deal!"

[Binky and Banjo swap plates]

[Binky happily eats the celery whilst Banjo eats the onions]

Binky/Banjo: "Finished!"

Bubbles: "I'll trade my cabbage and beets for your pineapple and shrimp, Ash."

Ash: "Sounds good."

[Ash and Bubbles swap their plates]

[Ash eats his newly received cabbage and beets whilst Bubbles eats the pineapple and shrimp]

Bubbles: "Yum, delicious! I like shrimp and pineapple!"

Clayton: "Hey, Ladonna. If you don't want your peppers, do you want my salad?"

Ladonna: "Okay."

[Clayton gives Ladonna his salad bowl while Ladonna gives him her plate full of peppers]

[Clayton chows down on the peppers while Ladonna happily eats the garden vegetable salad]

Ladonna: "I like it, it's delicious!"

Clayton: "I like peppers!"

[Sandy trades her salmon plate for Charles' turnip plate]

[Charles takes a bite of the salmon, chews and then he swallows. He then smiles]

Charles: "I like salmon."

Sandy: "And I like turnips."

[Oliver trades his spinach and broccoli for Eve's plate of mushrooms and tomatoes]

[Oliver takes a bite of the tomatoes and mushrooms and eats them]

Oliver: "I like mushrooms and tomatoes."

Eve: "And I like spinach and broccoli."

[But suddenly, the vigintuplets immediately spit their foods out]

The Vigintuplets: (in unison) "NOT!"

Camille: "Hey, we don't spit. That is not polite."

Parent Meeting
Annie: The kids behavior was unacceptable. They were doing every naughty thing in the book!

Camille: (crying) I feel like a horrible mother...

Naughty Pit
[Bubbles, Ash, and Eve shatter tons of glasses]

[Camille sends the three to the Naughty Pit]

Camille: You three are on the Naughty Pit because you shattered tons of glasses.

Super Naughty Pit
Matilda: I WANT TO WATCH A KANYE WEST DOCUMENTARY!!!

Camille: No. We're watching the 1997 movie "Zeus and Roxanne".

Matilda: YOU DON'T WANT ME TO WATCH KANYE WEST, I'LL DO THIS INSTEAD!!!

[Matilda then shatters the TV]

[Camille sends Matilda to the Super Naughty Pit]

Camille: You're on the Super Naughty Pit because you shattered the TV.

Matilda: FUCK IT!!!

[Matilda takes the Super Naughty Pit outside and throws it at a nearby lake]

Camille: You are now gonna go straight into your room because you drowned the Super Naughty Pit.

Matilda: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!!

[Matilda runs straight to her room and trashes it]

'''Matilda: I hate the Super Naughty Pit so much. I hope mommy kills that shit!'''

Camille: What will we do now?

Annie: I will provide a spare Super Naughty Pit

Trash Talk
Bubbles: FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT!!!

Camille: Did you just curse?

Bubbles: No bitch!

Camille: You lost 4 mouths.

Bubbles: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Camilla: You now lost 6 mouths.

Bubbles: NOW I CAN CUSS WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT SINCE I CAN'T LOST ANYMORE FUCKING MOUTHS!!!

Annie: That's not how it works. Continue to curse and you will go to the Naughty Pit.

Camille gets a phone call
[The phone rings]

[Camille answers the phone]

Camille: "Hello, Bedrich Residence, this is Camille speaking."

???: "Camille, it's been a while."

Camille: "Jill, how are you?"

Jill: "Well, it's been a while."

Camille: "What's up?"

Jill: "Lewis is having a birthday party tomorrow."

Camille: "What theme will he have?"

Jill: "Lewis will have a circus themed party/ice cream social."

Camille: "I don't know if I can make it Jill. My kids are such a handful and very difficult to keep in line."

(Bubbles is listening, and he whispers to his vigintuplets sibling and tells them what is going on)

AM Morning
Annie: "When the kids wanted to play outside on the swings, slide, seesaw, merry-go-round, the sandpit and the swimming pool and to have a picnic, and then mom said no. The vigintuplets kicked up their new record high epic tantrum which lasted 20 hours."

[Camille is laying out 11 blue sailor suits and 9 red sailor dresses on each bed of the vigintuplets]

Rocky: "Mommy, can we please go outside on the swings?"

Camille: "No, not today, we're going to your cousin Lewis' birthday party."

Annie: "But Camille would be taking them to a birthday party, which is being held at the community center."

Sandy: "Why do we have to go?"

Binky: "WE DON'T WANNA PUT OUR PARTY CLOTHES ON!"

Sandy: "I agree! We look like dorks in Sailor Suits! We might as well go star in a porn parody of Sailor Moon!"

Clayton: "Who the hell do you think we are, Donald Duck? If so, then we might as well star in that one Disney cartoon where Donald works for the Nazis!"

Camille: "I want you guys to dress up very smartly for the birthday parties."

[Matilda runs around the house naked]

Camille: "Come on, Mr. Atoms and his bus will be here any minute!"

[Camille grabs Ash, and Ash hits Camille]

Henrietta: "WE HATE LEWIS!!!!!!!!!! HE LIKES TO LISTEN TO MERZBOW, C.C.C.C., MASONNA, HANATARASH, THE BOREDOMS, HIJOKAIDEN, AND OTHER SHITTY ASS NOISE BANDS FROM JAPAN!!!"

Camille: Henrietta, Lewis does not like Japanese noise bands.

Ash: "In that case, Lewis is a stupid dork, and should die in Iraq by Saddam Hussein!"

Annie: "I could not believe what I just heard from a three year old."

[Annie steps in]

Annie: "This is the first warning. You need to get ready to go, Ash, or else you will be put in the Naughty Pit. Do you understand?"

Bubbles: FUCK OFF, WHORE!!!

[Bubbles assaults Annie]

[Bubbles then takes off his sailor suits and puts on a black Dimmu Borgir shirt, ripped up jeans, and flashy Jordan shoes]

[The rest of the vigintuplets do the same, changing their sailor suits to a black shirt to a logo of a death metal/black metal band, ripped up jeans, and flashy basketball shoes]

Camille: Change back to your sailor suits right now!

[The vigintuplets then proceeds to incinerate their sailor suits]

3 Hours to Get Ready!
Matilda: "I don't wanna go!"

Binky: "You're stupid and I wish that you die in a train wreck!"

Ash: "Why do we have to go to a stupid party anyway?"

Camille: "Because we don't see your cousins very often, and it would be nice to see them at least every once in a while."

Bubbles: At least we get to keep our black shirts to a logo of a death metal/black metal band, ripped up jeans, and flashy basketball shoes.

2 Hours to Go!
[The vigintuplets are seen watching an episode of Chip 'N Dale: Rescue Rangers]

1 Hour Left!
Vigintuplets: WE SAID NO!!!

Camille: "Right, you're all going in the Naughty Pit!"

(Camille puts Henrietta in the Naughty Pit located in the basement, and then discards 10 lavender beanbags into the pits)

(Camille puts Rocky in the Naughty Pit located in the laundry room, and then discards 10 indigo beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Eve in the Naughty Pit located in the living room, and then discards 10 fuchsia beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Oliver in the naughty pit located in the dining room, and then discards 10 polka dotted beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Bubbles in the Naughty Pit located near the banister on the third floor, and then discards 10 sky blue beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Megan in the Naughty Pit located in the bathroom, and then discards 10 lilac beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Ladonna in the Naughty Pit located in the garage, and then discards 10 Aqua beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Grace in the Naughty Pit located in the hallway located on the second floor, and then discards 10 rainbow beanbags into the pits)

(Camille puts Courtland in the Naughty Pit located on the third floor, and then discards 10 black beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Night in the Naughty Pit located on the second floor, and then discards 10 tie-dyed beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Belinda in the naughty pit located near the banister on the second floor, and then discards 10 ice blue beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Danielle in the Naughty Pit located near the stairs on the first floor, and then discards 10 white beanbags into the pits)

(Camille puts Bryce in the Naughty Pit located in the attic, and then discards 10 grey beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Sandy in the Naughty Pit located in the dining room, and then discards 10 purple beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Clayton in the Naughty Pit located in her office, and then discards 10 orange beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Banjo in the Naughty Pit located in the guest room, and then discards 10 green beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Charles in the Naughty Pit located in the hallway, and then discards 10 red beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Matilda in the Naughty Pit located in the bathroom, and then discards 10 pink beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Binky in the Naughty Pit located in the garage, and then discards 10 yellow beanbags into the pit)

(Camille puts Ash in the Naughty Pit located in the kitchen, and then discards 10 blue beanbags into the pit)

Time to Go!
Charles: "I don't like our dorky ass loser cousin. He looks like that beta fuck YandereDev!"

[Mr. Atoms and his bus arrives]

[Mr. Atoms honks the horn]

Annie: "But their antics nearly caused the bus driver to lose focus."

[Bubbles and Matilda throw bananas at the front window]

Bus Driver: You two stop it now!

Camille: Just ignore them. Keep focusing on the road.

Annie: "We ended up going back home after the vigintuplets made Camille, the bus driver and myself turn up over 30 minutes late for the party. They missed most of the party!"

The Vigintuplets Get in to Very Serious Trouble
Annie: "These kids were testing me on every level. I had to confront them about it."

Camille: "Distracting the bus driver is not only unacceptable behavior, but also very dangerous. There could have been a very bad accident. You guys are very lucky that Mr. Atoms and your Aunty Jill didn't press charges against you, otherwise you'd be in prison."

Bubbles: THOSE WHORES CAN DIE!!!

Banjo: YEAH!!! THEY ARE JUGGALOS AND LIKE TO LISTEN TO THE ICP!!!

Megan: THEY ALSO THINK CLARENCE IS A RIPOFF OF SANJAY AND CRAIG!!!

Camille: Stop this right now! They are not Juggalos and they don't think Clarence is a ripoff of Sanjay and Craig!

[Camille, Annie and the triplets arrive home]

Annie: "Camille why don't you go into your bedroom and take a breather."

Camille: "Okay."

[Annie sends the vigintuplets straight to the Naughty Pit]

Annie: You are in the Naughty Pit and Super Naughty Pit because-

[Annie is interrupted as the vigintuplets destroy the Naughty Pit and Super Naughty Pit]

Annie: I couldn't believe that they destroyed the Naughty Pit and Super Naughty Pit!

Annie: You do not destroy the Naughty Pit and Super Naughty Pit! I will get a spare Naughty Pit and Super Naughty Pit.

Magic Play Technique
Annie: "I am going to introduce the magic play technique!"

Camille: "So, kids, what are your ideas?"

Bryce: "Let's pretend we are cowboys and cowgirls!"

Camille: "Nice idea!"

[The kids pull out cowboy hats, boots, sheriff's badges, and bandanas]

Camille Books a New Restaurant
Annie: "I have an idea, why don't we make your kids try the foods that they are actually ready to try?"

Camille: "Maybe you are right."

[Camille dials a number to Hooters]

Camille: Yeah, I'd like to make a reservation to Hooters please.