Joshua & Xandra’s Wedding

Getting Souvenirs
Xandra: “Lets look how many souvenirs are there”

Alexandria: “This is full of s**t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Bernice: "ALEXANDRIA HAYARA KEATON!!!!!!!!!!"

(Alexandria throws souvenirs in the trash)

Rowan: "Mom!"

Bernice: "Yes?"

Rowan: "My cousin want an either Mercedes station wagon, or the BMW A, or the Maserati convertible."

Bernice: "That's nice."

(The staff picks up the souvenirs that Alexandria threw in the trash)

Youtube Videos
Rowan: “EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Polly: “SL*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Helga: “W**RE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Joelle: “B**CH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Rowan: “ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!”

Video Games
Ron: “I Am Having A Gobstopper Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Joelle: “F**K YOU XANDRA YOU ARE HORRIBLE AT VIDEO GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Helga: “YOU LOOK STUPID AT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES XANDRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

In The RV
[Everyone screams]

Helga, Joelle, and Polly: “JASON VOORHEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Clove, Sage, and Wolf: “FREDDY KRUEGER IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Spencer and Oil: “PLEASE DO NOT HURT ME CHUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

[Joshua starts playing Under The Influence by Eminem]

Joelle: ”THIS MUSIC SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU TURN IT OFF?!?!?!?!?!!”

Joshua: “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Bernice: “LET THEM LISTEN TO EMINEM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!”

(car crash sound effect is heard)

Bernice: "DANG IT!!!!!!!!! I JUST CRASHED THE CAR!!!!!!!!! NOW I HAVE A LOSS OF A LOVED ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bernice: "Im Gonna Kill Kids"

At The Tent
[Everyone screams]

Wedding Reception
[Joshua, Xandra, Gretchen, Ron, Katie, Glenn, Coraline, Sakura, Mako, Mei Lin, Wolf, Lori, Bonzo, Joey, Perry, and Bill look at the menu]

Joelle, Helga, and Polly: “Yuck that’s not Pizza!!!!!!!!!”

Bernice: “Try them!!!!!!!!”

Rowan: “Me too that’s not Raviolli!!!!!!!!!!”

Jillian: “Try it Rowan!!!!!!!!”

[Joelle, Helga, Polly, Rowan, Christine, Jay, Clover, Sage, Wolf, Anna, Jessie, Alexandria, Logan, Collin, Becca, Spencer, Oli, Michaela, Lois, and Wanda spit their food out]

The Kids ruin the wedding
Nicole: “Then some of the kids ruined it”

Joelle: F**K YOU JOSHUA & XANDRA!!!!!!

Helga: YEAH JOSHUA & XANDRA!!!! YOU LOOK STUPID!!!!!

Polly: SHUT UP YOU, MOTHERF**KING SON OF A B**CH

Rowan: SHUT UP, JOSHUA YOU STUPID B**CH!!!!!!!!

Christine: I WILL KILL BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!

Jay: F**K OFF I AM LEAVING!!!!!!!!

Clover: SHUT UP!!!!!!

Sage: BULLS**T!!!!!!!!

Wolf: I DON’T WANNA!!!!!!!!

Al: “BYE BYE B**CH!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Jackson: THIS WEDDING IS TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joel: YEAH MOTHERF**KER!!!!!!!!!!!”

Anna: LET"S GO HOME!!!!!!!!

Jessie: I HATE EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!

Alexandria: F**K YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Logan: SHUT YOUR MOTHERF**KING MOUTH!!!!!!!!

Collin: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

Becca: I DON’T LIKE IT!!!!!!!

Spencer: YOU SMELL LIKE PEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Oli: I HATE WEDDINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Michaela: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!

Lois: F**K OFF I HATE YOU JOSHUA!!!!!!!!

Wanda: I HATE YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Helga changes the music to Harry Potter Soundtrack]

Bonzo: ”We blocked those off the playlist!!!!!!!!!!”

Bernice: “Helga Susanna Keaton!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

[Bonzo changes the music back and deletes the Harry Potter Soundtrack]

[Clove changes the music to Last Friday Night by Missy Eillott]

[Becca changes the music to S&M by Rihanna]

[Logan changes the music to Fuck The Police by NWA]

[Spencer changes the music to America Fuck Yeah by Trey Parker]

[Spencer stabs Joshua in the stomach]

[Helga stabs Joshua in the face]

[Logan stabs Joshua in the neck]

[Michaela stabs Joshua in the abdomen]

[Al, Jackson, and Joel stab Joshua in the arm]

[Becca stabs Joshua in both his left and right legs]

[Polly smashes Joshua’s pelvis, humerus, femur, spine, tibia, and fibia]

[Jay force-feeds Joshua alcohol]

[Joelle force-feeds Joshua drugs]

[Collin puts a cherry bomb in the cake and the wedding cake explodes]

Xandra: “Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Coraline: ”I Have A Spare Cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Police Arrest Rowan and Alexandria
[Rowan starts playing Fuck The Police by NWA]

[Police start covering ears]

The Children Are In Trouble
cut to:

Bernice: HELGA SUSANNA KEATON!!!! JOELLE SANDRA KEATON & POLLYANNA CLAUDIA KEATON!!!!!!!!! YOUR BEHAVIOR AT JOSHUA & XANDRA’S WEDDING WAS ABYSMAL!!!!!!!! BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION CAMP FOR ALL OF YOU NOW!!!!!!!!! LET"S GO HOME NOW!!!!!!!!

Jillian: ROWAN GARRET IKIN!!!!!! YOUR BEHAVIOR AT THE WEDDING WAS A DISASTER!!!!!!! WE ARE GOING HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Daniel: LOGAN MARCELLO NEWBURY!!!!!! YOU DO NOT RUIN THE WEDDING!!!!! GO HOME NOW!!!!!

Frank: LOIS MARIE KIEJLICHES & WANDA DAPHNE KIEJLICHES!!!!!! YOUR BEHAVIOR AT THE WEDDING CEREMONY WAS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!! WE ARE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

Bernice’s Decision
Bernice: I have Helga who is 8, Joelle who is 6, Polly who is 4 and Belle who is 2 years old, Belle is well behaved, Helga fails school because she didn’t do her homework, swears, listens to explicit songs, and she was expelled from 200 schools, Joelle swears, knocks things over, and also demands for candy & toys, Polly is the worst behaved, she bites, pulls someone else’s hair, swears, throws toys and runs across the house naked, it was just because they were unable to handle losing their father Jared in a beheading accident.

Marc and Nina’s Decision
Nina: “I have Buffy who is 9, Clove who is 7, Sage who is 5, and Wolf who is 4, Buffy is well behaved, Clove and Sage scream, pinch, bite, swear, and fight, Wolf is the worst behaved, he refuses to eat, throws tantrums, screams, kicks, swears, hits, throws things, and breaks things,

Boarding The Bus To BMC
Delia German: “Hello, children. Tell me your names?”

Bernice’s Call
Delia German: “Your daughters are machines of demons!!!!! Pick them up now!!!!!!!”

Bernice: "But it was the perfect place for their behavior."

Delia German: “They blew up the facility, ran across the halls naked, peed on the statues & shouted bad words!!!!!!!!!”

Jillian’s Call
Delia German: Your son Rowan is a demon!!!! Pick him up now!!!!!!

Delia German: He blew up the facility!!!!!!

Willow’s Call
Delia German: Your daughter is worse than Orla Birou

Delia German: She set fire to the school and shouted very bad words

John & Jennifer‘s Call
Delia German: Mr Burb!!!!! Your son Jay set fire to the school and was able to shout profanity

Marc & Nina’s Call
Delia German: Your children blew the school up to shout profanity

Orla & James Call
Delia German: Way worse than Orla Birou!!!!!! She blew it up, She even stabbed an officer and shouted bad words as well

Lyndsey‘s Call
Delia German: She set the school on fire with the ability to shout bad words

Daniel & Lexi’s Call
Delia German: Your children are monsters!!!!! Pick them up now!!!!!!

Delia German: They set the school on fire, shouted bad words, harassed a little girl, stabbed an officer, punched an officer, duct -aped a boy's mouth and peed on the statues!!!!!

Paula & Michael’s Call
Delia German: Your son is out of control and you have to pick him up!!!!!

Michael: “I do not get it, It was gonna improve his behavior.”

Delia German: He set fire to the building, shouted bad words & peed on the statues

Bernice gets tough with the girls
Bernice: “Military School For You.”