Hillsborough-Doggerel Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credits
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny...Jo visits the Big Apple."

Mel: "Wendy, you get your butt to the Naughty Pit...ON THE DOUBLE!"

Announcer: "And meets a blended family who has a set of 3-year-old octuplets."

Mel: "Ainsley, Bryce, John, Nicholas, Orla, Sean, Teddy, and Wendy! All of you! Go and sit in the Naughty Pits!"

Announcers: "...plus 4 more kids.."

[Kadee is pointing her finger at the kitchen]

Kadee: "Mommy, they're eating cookies after you told them not to!"

[Brett is coloring a picture]

[Melanie is playing jump rope outside]

[Kristin is reading a book]

Announcer: "and a granddaughter..."

[Kristin is playing with her daughter Kristin]

Submission Reel
Jo: "Here I am in New York City, ready to help another family. Let's take a look shall we?"

???: "Hi, I'm Mel Hillsborough."

???: "And I'm Baptiste Doggerel AKA 'King Kong Daddy'."

Mel: "My husband Baptiste, is a full-time professional wrestler, and while he's gone, I have to deal with my children all by myself."

Observation Begins
[Orla, Wendy, Ainsley, Bryce, Kadee, Brett, John, Sean, Teddy, and Nicholas are watching Dora the Explorer on TV]

[Melanie is helping Mel with chores]

Jo: "Baptiste, why did you name yourself 'King Kong Daddy'?"

Baptiste:"That is my nickname for my wrestling hobby."

Observation Continues
[Ainsley, Wendy, Orla, Bryce, John, Sean, Teddy, and Nicholas run out into the street]

Mel: "You guys need to come back this instant!"

Nicolas: "No!"

Orla: "Go kill yourself!"

Jo: "But the octoplets continued to run into the street and they went into the park without permission or supervision."

Mel: "I am not playing games with you!"

Naughty Pit
Jo: "In the playroom, the octuplets are playing with Kadee and Brett. Then suddenly, they bombard the two with big balls."

[The octuplets toss several big balls at Kadee and Brett]

Brett: "Ouch!"

Kadee: "Oh no!"

Mel: "Gosh. What happened? What are the balls doing on the floor?"

Brett: "They threw them at us."

Mel: "Ainsley, Bryce, John, Nicholas, Orla, Sean, Teddy, and Wendy! All of you! Go and sit in the Naughty Pits!"

Jo: (correcting Mel on what to say) “Get inside.”

Mel: “Get inside them!”

John and Teddy: "No!"

Mel: "Then I'll have to carry you kids to your Naughty Pits!"

[Mel carries each octuplet to their particular Naughty Pit and confiscates their Dora the Explorer and Blue's Clues toys]

Mel: "You all have been placed in the Naughty Pits because you threw balls at your older siblings. Now you stay there until I come and get you. In addition to that, your Dora the Explorer toys and Blue's Clues toys are all in toy jail."

Wendy: "I HATE YOU MUMMY!!!!!! I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!!!"

[Mel ignores Wendy's awful comment and walks away to start the timer in the kitchen]

Time Elapsed: 0:23 to 0:26

[Wendy leaves the Naughty Pit and slashes one of Baptiste's wrestling awards with a knife]

Mel: "Wendy, no! That is a no-no! Just wait until your father gets home! You do not break his wrestling awards!"

Wendy: "YOU ARE NOT GETTING ME BACK INTO THE NAUGHTY PIT, YOU HORRIBLE MOMMY!"

[Mel deposits Wendy back into the Naughty Pit and confiscates Wendy's Raggedy Ann doll]

Time Elapsed: 1:03 to 1:06

[Wendy crawls out of the Naughty Pit bombards Mel with balls]

Mel: "Wendy, you will get your butt in the Naughty Pit....ON THE DOUBLE!"

[Mel carries Wendy back to the Naughty Pit and deposits two bean bags]

[Mel confiscates Wendy's Powerpuff Girls Bubbles doll and deposits it in the toy time-out box]

Time Elapsed: 1:44 to 1:47

[Wendy moves her Naughty Pit and hides it]

[Mel finds the Naughty Pit]

[Wendy pees in her Naughty Pit]

Mel: "Oh, my god. Wendy, no! That is a no-no too! You do not go pee-pee anywhere but the loo, especially in the Naughty Pit."

Mel: "Wendy peed in the Naughty Pit like a dog. That was absolutely disgusting when I found her doing it."

Time Elapsed: 3:09 to 3:12

Mel: "Ainsley, Bryce, John, Nicholas, Orla, Sean, and Teddy. Apologize to me then leave."

Ainsley, Bryce, Nicholas, and Sean: "Sorry."

John, Orla, Teddy, and Wendy: (screeching) "NO! WE STILL DON'T WANT TO SAY SORRRRRRRYYYY!"

Mel: "So, John, Orla, Wendy, and Teddy, you can stay there for another 3 minutes. As for you, Ainsley, Bryce, Nicholas, and Sean, you each can give me a hug."

Time Elapsed: 4:52 to 4:56

Wendy: "I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE!"

Mel: "Then you can stay there for an extra 3 minutes!"

Wendy: "WHATEVER!"

Time Elapsed: 6:16 to 6:19

Mel: "John, Teddy, and Orla, apologize to me."

John and Teddy: "Sorry, mummy."

Wendy and Orla: "NO!"

Mel: "Then Orla and Wendy, you girls can stay there for another 3 minutes for each of you! As for the rest of you that are named the names I mentioned, you can come out."

Teddy: "What does mentioned mean, mommy?"

Mel: "It means you said the following word."

[John and Teddy hug Mel]

Jo: "Orla carried on for 30 minutes."

Jo: "Orla, you were placed here because you bombarded Brett and Kadee with balls."

Orla: "Sorry..."

Jo: "The next half-hour, Dad came home."

Mel: "Wendy broke one of your wrestling awards."

Baptiste: "Wendy, GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

Jo: "She is in timeout at the Naughty Pit. She stays there for 3 minutes. She lost her Raggedy Ann doll for breaking one of your wrestling awards."

Jo: "The ways Wendy apologized were all wrong."

Time Elapsed: 1:29:15 to 1:29:19

Wendy: "NO! I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE UNTIL I FEEL LIKE IT!"

Time Elapsed: 1:41:55 to 1:41:59

Wendy: "SORRY!"

Baptiste: "Wendy, that's too loud. Say it like you mean it."

Time Elapsed: 2:16:09 to 2:16:13

Wendy: (sarcastically) "I'm really, really, really sorry!"

Mel: "I want an apology that's done right. Say it like you mean it."

Wendy: (screeching) "I ALREADY GAVE YOU ONE!"

Jo: "Wendy's act was epic. She carried on for more 3 hours and a half."

Baptiste: "And six-and-a-half minutes."

Time Elapsed: 3:36:34 to 3:36:38

Mel: "Say you're sorry to me, Wendy!"

Wendy: "NO! I DON'T WANT TO SAY SORRY!"

Mel: "I am asking for an apology from you, Wendy."

Wendy: "Sorry..."

Mel: "Thank you. Give mommy a hug."

King Kong Daddy's Wrestling Match
Jo: "That night, the family went to Baptiste's wrestling match."

Referee: "In this corner, weighing in about 350 lbs, the world champion, King Kong Daddy!"

[The crowd roars and cheers for Baptiste AKA King Kong Daddy]

Wendy: "There's my daddy up there."

Kristin's Birthday Party
Jo: "The next day, Mel and Baptiste had a birthday party for their granddaughter, Kristin, who turned 4 that day. Their daughter Kristin invited all of her daughter's friends from ballet class and preschool to the party held at the Build-A-Bear Workshop."

[Mel, Baptiste,Kristin and her friends are at Build-A-Bear Workshop]

Mel: "Who's up for some fun here?"

4-year-old Kristin and her friends: "Me!"

Mel: "All right, then let's have fun!"