Darren Keene's Entitled Parent Story

Entitled Christian zealot cunt thinks that I am a "sinner" for crossing my legs like a girl
Hello, my name is Darren Keene, I am 17 years old and I have a boyfriend with Chris Sutton since I came out as gay. As if you were wondering while it is inspired by Maria Tachimi's Entitled Parent Story, I decided to create it on my own. Plus, it centers around not only Karens (soccer moms), but their annoying brat children and Christian zealots like Margaret White and Jann Simmons as well.

Characters:

Me: The person writing this story.

CS: Chris

ECZ: Entitled Christian zealot

So, I was at the Starbucks with Chris while we cross our legs together as we watch Glee until ECZ came in and was shocked on what she saw: us crossing our legs in a feminine way. She wore a white collared shirt, a black sweater over it, a black long skirt, white tights, black loafers and a golden cross necklace.

ECZ: Um, young man. Aren't you sitting the proper way men do.

Me: Why? Is it because we are gay?

ECZ: You have to sit with your feet on the ground.

CS: So, not all men sit like this, deal with it.

ECZ: God hates it when men cross his legs! That is a sin!

As I try to tell her to leave God out of this, it wasn't long before ECZ pulled out a bottle of holy water as she began to open it and spray it on our faces.

ECZ: By the power of Christ compels you two! Banish in the name of God!

Me: Can you not bring God into this?

ECZ: Not until you sit like actual, non-sinful men!

As she is still spraying holy water at us, CS snatched the bottle from her hand and threw it at the air as she pulled out a bible and handed it to me.

ECZ: Read the bible to cure your sins.

CS: He doesn't want the bible! Hell, he is Jewish!

ECZ: Jewish? But God hates Jews as well as atheists, people with Judaism, Muslim people and people of religion other than Christianity nor Catholicism!

Me: Um, hello? I have been in a bar mitzvah before.

ECZ: But bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs are sinful! It is for Satanists!

Me: Bullshit! At least we do not worship Satan!

As ECZ left angrily, we all go back to minding our own business.

Entitled Karen cunt called me a homophobic slur all because I was shopping for cosmetics
Characters:

EC: Entitled cunt

KD: Karen's daughter.

Me: Again, duh.

Mom: Kelly.

1 week after I came out as gay, I was shopping with my mom for cosmetics at Forever 21, until I saw EC with one of those Karen-esque soccermom appearances with her 13-year-old daughter, KD.

EC: Excuse me, miss. Isn't he supposed to not shop at here because he should be liking boys stuff like Rick and Morty, sports, Star Wars or The Office.

Mom: The fuck did my son do to you?

Me: Mom, ignore her!

Mom: Don't worry, I got this.

EC: Your son is shopping for makeup products, which makes me uncomfortable...

KD: I don't mind makeup products nor girls wearing makeup, but I agree. Boys should not be wearing makeup, only girls!

Mom: Are you sexist? He is gay! You are the ones making him a problem! Let him be what he wants to be.

But when EC told my mom that I was an f-word-that-rhymes-with-maggot, I was shocked to find out that she said it. I walked towards her and told her that EC was way worse than my dad as I ran off crying. As my mom chased after me to comfort me, I was sitting in the bench crying.

Mom: Sweetie, I know that woman was homophobic but do you want some ice cream?

I nodded.

Entitled Karen called me out for wearing a costume made for girls
Characters:

Me: Read the last section above.

EK: Entitled Karen

CS: Chris Sutton

GTOT: Ghost trick-or-treater

VTOT: Vampire trick-or-treater

WTOT: Witch trick-or-treater

On Halloween, a few months after I came out as gay, I wore a blonde wig, a white corset, a lot of white bead necklaces, cross necklaces, and '80s bracelets, a belt that says "BOY TOY", a white tulle skirt, white fishnet tights and white heels. I was completely dressed as Madonna in her sexy bride attire at the 1984 VMAs while she was performing "Like a Virgin". While I took a few selfies, my mom took a lot of photos of me as I sended them to not only Facebook, but also Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat and recorded a video of me lip syncing to "Like a Virgin" on TikTok.

But while I was going out with my boyfriend, CS to a Halloween party he was hosting, EK arrived with wearing one of those soccer mom Karen appearances while she was taking her kids who are probably between the ages of 12 and 8 trick-or-treating. The costumes the kids are wearing are a Haunting Beauty ghost costume, a vampire costume, and a cute witch costume. They are 12, 10 and 8 respectively.

EK: Is that a sexy bride costume?

I nodded.

EK: Boys shouldn't wear skirts, corsets nor sexy costumes this Halloween! They should go as either Pennywise, Prince, Darth Vader or anything else for males!

WTOT: Mommy, I do not like him! He makes me uncomfortable!

VTOT: Go dress like a military soldier or a cowboy!

WTOT: Yeah!

Me: Listen here, bitch. It is my costume! I can do what I want with it!

EK: You literally just wore that sexy bride costume in public! What are you? A crossdresser? A drag queen?

Me: Bitch, I am gay! I can dress what I want to dress!

EK: At least my son doesn't dress like that! He is 10 and he is in the 5th grade!

Me: The fuck did a costume like that do to him?

EK: He doesn't want to wear girly shit like the color pink, jewelry, skirts, bows, headbands and dresses! My daughters are 12 and 8 and they are in the 7th and 3rd grade! They love that kind of shit!

As CS told me to ignore EK, he came towards her with a suspicious look.

CS: Look, what I am trying to say is that Darren is 16 and he can wear whatever he wants! Just so you know, he's right. It is his costume. He can do what he wants with it.

EK: My son doesn't like that costume! It makes him uncomfortable just like me and my youngest daughter! Hell, she is 8!

Ever since CS and EK started arguing, GTOT came to me and saw my costume. She is the only person who doesn't mind my costume.

GTOT: Oh my gosh. I just loved your costume. Is it a Madonna costume, a sexy bride costume or both?

Me: Both, I guess?

EK: Come on, kids, we are leaving to another house!

As EK walked off, her trick-or-treating children ran after them with their pumpkin pails.

CS: Come on, it is getting late.

As we get into the party, we had lots of fun. There are two trans girls dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi and a Tim Burton version of Willy Wonka, a trans boy dressed as April O'Neil from the '80s and '90s version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a boy dressed as Britney Spears from the music video "...Baby One More Time" and a mixed race boy dressed as Rihanna.

Entitled asshole who accuses an artist on Twitter for being a "pedophile" and called him out for "sexualizing female minors" (read: aging up underaged female characters)
Characters:

Me: Yours truly. (duh)

LukeDraws: Some Twitter user who draws pictures where characters like Luz Noceda and Mabel Pines are aged-up.

RadioStrikerX: Some asshole who called LukeDraws out for "sexualizing minors".

So, I was on Twitter when I searched up "Luz Noceda", I looked everywhere until I saw a post, which shows Luz Noceda from The Owl House who is now all grown up complete with longer hair, bigger breasts and a different outfit consisting of a black top with bell sleeves, denim jeans and black boots. Here's what it says: "Luz Noceda: 5 Years Later (Luz is 19 btw) #TheOwlHouse #FanArtFriday #5YearsLater"

It was by LukeDraws, a Twitter artist who draws underage female characters that are aged-up. It is rumored that he was called out by other users on Twitter who thought that he was a pedophile all because he was "sexualizing minors". I checked aged-up versions of Amity Blight, Anne Boonchuy, Connie Maheswaran, Gwen Tennyson, Sam Manson, and of course, Kim Possible. They're all teenagers like me! After looking at his art, I saw a drawing where a 19-year-old Luz is wearing a bikini at the beach, here's the description: "19-year-old Luz Noceda at the beach. #TheOwlHouse"

But when I checked the replies, it wasn't long until some asshole named RadioStrikerX showed up and accused my friend for being a "pedophile".

RadioStrikerX: You're sexualizing minors now? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SHIT IS THIS?! Isn't she like 14 or something?

From what I've seen, it turns out that Luz Noceda is actually 14 in the series and 19 in the drawing.

Me: Actually, he isn't sexualizing minors. He's aging them up because he likes fictional minors like Luz better when they look like adults.

RadioStrikerX: Excuse me? I don't want to see Luz Noceda sexualized ever again! She's 14 and you love to see sexualized minors!

I grew confused about that. I didn't love to "see sexualized minors", I really loved LucasDraws' art. His drawings consists of fictional underage female characters that are drawn in the same art style in the animated show's perspective, like how 19-year-old Luz Noceda is drawn in The Owl House's own style.

Me: As if you can see, Luz Noceda is actually 14 in The Owl House and is 19 years old in the drawing. I think you're overreacting over a drawing of a "sexualized minor".

RadioStrikerX: You know what? You're getting blocked. You support pedophilia and you are defending a pedophile, you fucking f**!

Oh my god. I never knew he was so homophobic, that he makes Henry Bowers look like Kurt Hummel!

Me: You know it's homophobic to call me the F word, right?

And then, LucasDraws came here:

LucasDraws: Listen here, just because Luz is 19 in my drawing doesn't mean you have to say that I'm "sexualizing minors". Plus, yes she's 14 years old in the show.

RadioStrikerX: But you sexualized her by giving her big breasts and a bikini! What's so hard to understand about that?

LucasDraws: Look, the reason why it's because she's an adult and adults were bikinis, too.

RadioStrikerX: She's too young for a fucking bikini! What kind of pedophilia shit is this? You probably groom children like Pyrocynical!

LucasDraws: It's just a drawing. Since she's 19, she's old enough to wear a bikini. And no, I don't groom kids. I'm sorry but I'm afraid I had to block you. Goodbye.

When LucasDraws blocked RadioStrikerX, he got suspended a few days later. I'm glad he's gone, what an asshole he is. He sounds like a brat to me.

Homophobe tells me and my boyfriend not to go to Urban Outfitters
One day, I was on my phone and I saw a TikTok that is about the most homophobic brands, stores and companies. From what I've seen, it shows Chick-Fil-A and, of course, Urban Outfitters. While I mostly shop at Forever 21 and Hot Topic, there are so many people that have compared Chick-Fil-A with Urban Outfitters. I saw a tweet about Urban Outfitters being rumored to be homophobic and didn't support LGBT rights and a tweet that focused on a rumor about Chick-Fil-A also being homophobic.

But when I was at Urban Outfitters with my boyfriend, Chris, a man with auburn hair, a black collared shirt, denim jeans and Converse sneakers.

Man: Halt, stop right there! You fa***ts can't go to Urban Outfitters!

Chris: Why?

Man: Because it's for straight people only!

This auburn-haired jackass is like my dad, but even my dad is worse than that scumbag!

Me: Well, there is this one rumor about an openly gay man who got fired at Urban Outfitters all because he was gay. He didn't do anything wrong, did he?

Man: Yeah, he did something wrong. He was a fa***t, and fa***ts like him can't enter Urban Outfitters!

Me: He's not a fa***t! Don't call him that!

Chris: Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong!

Man: Oh yeah, well why don't you go somewhere else?

I shrugged.

Me: Eh, okay.

As we walked away from the man, we entered Forever 21 to shop for men's clothes in there. Me and Chris brought new men's clothes and thought it will be a good idea to try them on. One time, my dad punched a lesbian in the face while shopping for Urban Outfitters clothes, which is why we don't shop at Urban Outfitters. EVER.