Plank Family 2029 Thanksgiving

Before Thanksgiving
Hope: Alright, kids, be prepared tomorrow, for we're going to have Thanksgiving!

Maria: Is grandma and grandpa gonna come?

Valentin: No. They weren't able to come.

Maria: Oh.

Lois: Why do we celebrate Thanksgiving anyway? It's just an excuse for people to become fatasses!

Lisa: Yeah! And I'm not about to be fat like Honey Boo Boo!

Lianne: No! We learned that the pilgrims and Indians got together to have one big feast!

Lilian: Yeah! And we continue that tradition by having a big feast with turkey!

Blake: I ain't eating no fucking turkey!

Tyson: Exactly! I'd rather just stay in my room and listen to Blood Incantation and Dark Funeral!

Serena: And me and Larson would rather watch Warriors of Virtue and the 1999 movie Inspector Gadget!

Hope: Come on, you six! Don't you wanna spend time with your family?

Blake: With you assholes? I don't think so!

Preparing the Meal
Valentin: You got the other foods ready?

Hope: Yep. When's the turkey going to be done?

Valentin: It should be done in an hour.

Supper
[The family is seen at the dinner table, with all kinds of foods, with the turkey on the center]

Hope: Alright, let's say grace!

Valentin: I am thankful for being able to eat with my family and have this wonderful meal.

Hope: I am also thankful to have this amazing food, as well as my boyfriend Chuck!

Brooke: I am thankful for my sisters, since we work very hard to keep this house nice and tidy!

Kim: I am thankful for my family, as well as all the good movies and musicians Hope has been recommending me lately.

Maria: I am thankful for Hope and Valentin, and especially Totoro!

Totoro: (voice being mimicked by Maria) Why, thank you Maria! I am thankful for you for taking care of me and playing with me!

Lianne: And me and Lilian are thankful for each other!

Lilian: Yeah!

Hope: Okay, you six, would you like to say grace too?

Tyson: Us? Say grace? Fuck no!

Blake: Yeah! We don't believe in that shit!

Valentin: Tyson, Blake, you six need to say it and be respectful.

Serena: You can't force your religious beliefs on us! Hell, the only reason we're here is to eat some goddamn turkey!

Lois: Yeah! Let us eat already! I'm starving like hell!

Brooke: The sooner you say grace, the sooner you can eat.

Tyson: (Sighs) Fine... Do I have to fold my hands and look up to the heavens and get on my knees?

Kim: No. You can just say what you're thankful for.

Larson: Well, I will start by saying that I'm grateful for the food, I think Walmart does a bang-up job, I love it!

Hope: It didn't came from Walmart though.

Serena: Well I'm thankful for Nostalgia Critic's The Wall review. I thought it was awesome, funny, and cool.

Hope: That review sucked! And I love NC!

Tyson: I'm also grateful for heavy metal, especially thrash metal, death metal, and black metal. I'm particularly grateful for Norwegian black metal, and I look up to Dead, Euonymus, and Varg Viernes. They are my hero, and are more of a hero than Hope the Hoe!

Hope: EXCUSE ME?!?! YOU BETTER TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!

Tyson: Fuck you! I'm just being honest!

Hope: TYSON, THAT WAS NOT NICE!!! AND DEAD, EURONYMOUS, AND VARG VIKERNES WERE ATROCIOUS PEOPLE WHO MADE HORRIBLE MUSIC!!!

Tyson: HEY!!! MAYHEM AND BURZUM ARE AWESOME, YOU FUCKING WHORECUCK!!!

Valentin: You two stop it!

Lois: Yeah, shut the hell up! Now, I am thankful for David Kellogg making the 1991 movie Cool as Ice. That movie was awesome!

Blake: I am also thankful for Daddy Yankee, who still remains one of my favorite artists of all time!

Tyson: Definitely an amen for that one!

Hope: Oh god...

Lisa: And as for me, I am thankful for Valentin buying us another record player, after our dick of a sister destroyed the old one!

Hope: THAT'S THE SECOND TIME YOU DISRESPECTED ME ON THAT TABLE!!!

Tyson: Well it's true! You flipped your shit and smashed our record player to bits!

Hope: That's because you six were blasting Xasthur's Telepathic with the Deceased, and I hate Xasthur!

Serena: We don't give a shit! Xasthur is fucking awesome!

Hope: THEY'RE HORRIBLE, AND YOU SIX KNOW IT!!!

Valentin: Guys, please stop!

Larson: WE'D STOP WHEN SHE ADMITS THAT SHE LIKES OUR MUSIC!!!

Hope: NEVER!!!

[Hope throws a chicken leg at Larson]

Larson: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?! ON MY FAVORITE SHIRT?!?!

Hope: YEAH, HOW THAT'S FOR A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE?!?!

Tyson: YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE WE WILL FORCE YOU TO LIKE DRUDKH AND HATE FOREST!!!

Hope: NEVER!!!

Brooke: GUYS, KNOCK IT OFF!!!

Kim: Yeah, we want to have a nice Thanksgiving!

Hope: No, because these six always have to cause trouble, and I'm at my wits end!

Lois: You really want to make a scene during Thanksgiving?

Hope: Yes! If you six do not want to be a part of this family, then you are more than welcome to get out. You're all not part of the family with the way you act!

Valentin: (Gasps) Hope!

Tyson: A-Are you serious?

Blake: We're not part of the family?

Hope: NO! You all don't act right, and you all think you rule the world! Well guess what? YOU DON'T!!!

[Tyson snaps, and flips one of the tables, ruining the food]

Valentin: TYSON!!!

Maria: NOT THE TURKEY!!!

Tyson: FUCK YOU, HOPE!!! YOU DON'T EVER SAY WE'RE NOT PART OF THE FAMILY!!!

[Hope throws a pie at Tyson, causing him to flip another table]

Lianne: THE FOOD!!!

Lilian: NOW WE CAN'T EAT!!!

Serena: DAMN RIGHT!!!

[Serena and Larson also mess up the food while Lois, Blake, and Lisa throw drinks at the floor and wall]

Valentin: OH MY GOD!!! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEMS?!?!

Larson: WE ARE DONE WITH YOU ALL!!!

Blake: YEAH!!! FUCK YOU HOPE!!!

Tyson: AND THE REST OF YOU, I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GREAT THANKSGIVING!!! WHAT A GREAT FAMILY THIS IS!!!

[The six run into their rooms]

Aftermath
[Valentin, Hope, Brooke, Kim, Maria, Lianne, and Lilian are seen eating McDonald's]

Hope: I can't believe this... we have to eat McDonald's now.

Valentin: Hope, I don't mean to make you even more upset, but you're kinda at fault here.

Hope: How?

Brooke: Dad's right. You don't tell the six they aren't part of the family. Even though they cause trouble, they're still family regardless.

Hope: I'm telling you all, they're gonna make me snap one day! It's been going on for a while now, and I just can't!

Kim: How you ever thought of calling Supernanny? I heard she can tame even the wildest kids!

Hope: I'll consider it.