Levine Family 2032 Christmas

Before the Ballet
Nicole: "The Levines were ready to see Joshua's ballet performance at night."

Miranda: "We can't wait to see Joshua dance!"

Joshua Gets Changed
[Mrs. Graham, Joshua's ballet teacher is helping him to get changed into his Nutcracker Prince costume]

Mrs. Graham: "Are you ready to dance for your family?"

Joshua: "I think so."

The Ballet Begins
Mirinda: "There goes the curtain."

Aftermath
Mirinda: "Oh, Joshua! You were amazing and spectacular!"

Esther: "Yes, spectacular job, honey!"

Joshua: "Thanks! I greatly appreciate it."

Esther: "You're quite welcome."

Before the Play
Nicole: " "

[The family meets Mrs. Hanna, Joshua's teacher]

Mrs. Hanna: "Hi, you must be Joshua's mother."

Airport
PA: "All passengers leaving for Orlando, Florida..."

Aunt Orla's House
[We hear a barking at the door]

Opening Presents
[Miranda opens up all her presents and reveals a Wreck-It Ralph Wii game]

Mirinda: "Cool! I've got a Wreck-It Ralph Wii game!"

[Miguel opens up all his presents and reveals a new pair of pajamas and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVDs]

Miguel: "Awesome, a new pair of pajamas! I also got Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVDs!"

[Joshua opens up all his presents and reveals a new MP3 player]

Joshua: "Sweet, a new MP3 player!"

Herman: "I hope I will get guns."

Mitchell: "I hope I will get a Playstation 4."

Kyle: "I hope I will get Super Smash Bros. and a Wii U."

Hayleigh: "I hope I will get an MP3 Player, SD Card, My Little Pony DVDs and Justice giftcard."

Lauren: "I hope I will get Justice giftcard."

Luther: "I hope I will get Star Wars toys."

Gabby: "I hope I will get all of the Disney Princess toys!"

Victoria: "I hope I will get all of the Disney Princess toys and all of the Monster High toys!"

[The eight open their present to find box full of coal plus a note from Santa saying, "Herman, Mitchell, Kyle, Hayleigh, Lauren, Luther, Gabby and Victoria, Ralphie the Elf told me that you eight have been extremely bad this year. You ruined Miranda and Miguel's Christmas play, swore, tortured your mother, shoplifted from stores and tortured Miranda, Miguel and Joshua. Signed, Santa" in cursive]

Herman: "FUCK OFF SANTA! ALL I WANT IS GUNS!"

Mitchell: "HE'LL BE SO DEAD ANY MINUTE!"

Kyle: "Awwww, man. All I want is a Super Smash Bros. game and a WiiU!"

Hayleigh: "How could this be?! I want a Justice gift card!"

Lauren: "At least we need to look inside our stockings."

Luther: "Yeah, I agree! All I want is Star Wars toys!"

Gabby: "Good idea. We hope we get candy canes and tons of candy!"

Victoria (screeching): "I WANT SARAH'S PRESENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTS!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gabby: "I know, but let's look in our stockings."

[Miranda looks inside her stocking]

Miranda: "Ooh, candy and pretty pink ribbons!"

[Miguel looks inside his stocking]

Miguel: "Candy canes and a a LEGO Kit!"

[Joshua looks inside his stocking]

Joshua: "Sweet, a Tom and Jerry: Nutcracker Tale DVD and peppermint bark!"

[The eight look inside their stockings and find nothing but big, fat, dirty lumps of coal]

Herman: "Just you wait, fat man...I SHALL HAVE MY VENGEANCE!"

Mitchell: "YEAH, FUCK YOU, SANTA!"

Kyle: "YOU ARE GOING TO BE SORRY!"

Haleigh: "YOU MUST FUCKING DIE, AND I AM VERY ANGRY ABOUT YOU!"

Lauren: "SANTA SUCKS DONKEY SHIT!"

Luther: "I HOPE YOU DIE IN A THUNDERSTORM AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE CHRISTMAS!"

Gabby: "I SHALL GET MY REVENGE!"

Victoria: "SANTA IS A POOPY-BUTT!"

Krampus
[Krampus comes in]

Krampus: "Heheheh, time to kidnap naughty kids."

[Krampus seees Herman]

Herman: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? Lookie here, another queer-bait. Listen, I DO NOT WANT FAGGOTS IN MY ROOM!"

[Krampus attacks Herman and gets sent into the bag]

Mitchell: "Oh no! Krampus! Help, save us! Krampus got Herman! Mommy, Daddy, help!"

Esther: ...

Lauren: "Mommy, help! The monster got Herman!"

[Lauren escapes]

Dinner
[On the table, there is Baked ham, turkey, pimiento cheese, cranberry sauce, Waldorf salad, corn bread, green bean casserole, creamed corn, Parker House rolls, pumpkin pie, pecan slices and The Ultimate Eggnog]

Herman: "I HATE WALDORF SALAD!"

Mitchell : "I HATE PARKER HOUSE ROLLS!"

Kyle: "I HATE PECAN SLICES!"

Haleigh: "I HATED BAKED HAM!"

Lauren: "PIMIENTO CHEESE SUCKS BECAUSE IT IS SHIT!"

Luther: "GEREN BEAN CASSEROLE SUCKS!"

[Luther throws green bean casserole at Esther]

Gabby: "FUCK YOU ESTHER!"

Victoria: "I HATE THIS FOOD!!!"

Esther: "Come on, Victoria. I know you like waldorf salad."

Gabby: "I HATE PIMIENTO CHEESE SO MUCH!"

Esther: "I know you like this food."

[Gabby hits Esther]

[Victoria scratches Esther]

[Luther spits on Miguel]

[Kyle throws shoes at Joshua]

[Joshua cries]

Herman: "I HATE YOU, ESTHER! DIE IN HELL! FAGGOT!"

Hayleigh: "FUCK YOU!"

Holidays Aftermath
Santino (angrily): "THIS IS IT YOU EIGHT, WE ARE SENDING YOU ALL TO BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION CAMP IN ITALY UNTIL THE HOLIDAYS ARE ALL OVER!"

Herman: "EAT MY SHORTS!"

Mitchell : "FUCK OFF, WE DON'T WANNA GO TO THE BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION CAMP!"

Kyle: "DROP DEAD!"

Haleigh: "SUCK MY BALLS!"

Lauren: "BITE ME!"

Luther: "CRAM IT!"

Gabby: "SHOVE IT! WE DON'T WANT TO GO TO ITALY!"

Victoria: "GET BENT! I'd rather be put up for adoption."