Fairclough-Madetobedead Family/Transcript

Tonight on Supernanny
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Serrena: "Having feet and hands switched? Malvina looks f***ing stupid!"

Announcer: "Ruth heads to Nunavut to meet a family whose eldest child was born with feet for hands..."

[We see a picture of Malvina with feet for hands]

Announcer: "Whose middle child has a foot fetish..."

[Kolby kisses Malvina's feet (attached to her arms)]

Haleigh: "Makes me wanna puke..."

Announcer: "AND... the most pathetic father any Nanny has EVER encountered."

Kidswere: "GET YOUR FAT A**, THAT WEIGHS ABUT 50 POUNDS, IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Observation begins
[Ruth rings the doorbell]

[Malvina opens the door with her feet]

Ruth: "Hello! What's this?"

Malvina: "As you can see, I have feet for hands... [wiggles her "toes"] AND... hands for feet. [wiggles her "fingers"]

Ruth: "Hmmm... I never seen anything like this before..."

Serrena: " "

[Serrena lift up her legs and lowers her arms and wiggles her toes, making fun of Malvina]

[Kidswere banishes Serrena in the cellar]

Kidswere: "STAY IN THE CELLAR! YOU ARE STAYING THERE UNTIL YOU'RE 30!"

Malvina's Feet
Kidswere: "Malvina, if you don't do your chores, I will kill you."

[Malvina tries to hold the broom between her toes and succeeds, then sweeps the floor]

[Kolby licks the sides of Malvina's feet and she drops the broom]

Malvina: "Kolby, I'm trying to do chores. Besides, we don't lick people. It's gross."

Kolby (thinking): *sigh* I just wanted to tickle those feet..."

Serrena: "Kolby has a foot fetish! He is massively disgusting!"

Kidswere: "THAT'S IT!"

[Kidswere feeds Serrena Guatemalan ghost chili sauce]

Haleigh: "Malvina, what you can do with your feet are mind-boggling."

Malvina: "I know. Watch this."

[Malvina uses her feet to brush her teeth]

[Kolby's heart beats very fast, then he licks Malvina's feet again]

Haleigh: "Kolby, you need to stop licking, sucking, sniffing, tickling, kissing and biting Malvina's feet. It is gross."

Malvina gets revenge on Dad
[Malvina uses her feet to pick up the phone and call the police station]

Malvina: "Yes, my dad is a very mean person and abuses us all the time and he even tried to destroy the entire island. Could you arrest him?"

Officer: "Sure. He wil be given a life sentence in prison. We will be here shortly."

10 minutes later

[The police arrive]

Kidswere: "F*** THE POLICE!"

Officer: "You are going to jail for the rest of your natural born life!