Can’t Miss The Balls/Transcript

Kendra: “Hey Leah, wanna play some dodgeball?”

Leah: “Pfft, I’m easily going to win!”

Kendra: (laughs) “You’re ON!”

Kevin: “I may be in a cage, but I can still make announcements! How about that?”

Leah: “Yeah, whatever!”

Round 1
Kevin: “Ready, set, go!”

(Kendra runs very quickly, gets a ball, and hits Leah extremely hard)

Leah: (crying) “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!” (crying even more)

Kendra: (laughing) “Boom!”

Carmen: “I can take turns with you from here. So it is my turn.”

Round 2
Carmen: “Ready, set, go!”

(Both players try to get a ball. Kendra is faster, gets a ball first, and then hits extremely hard with it. Leah starts crying again.)

Kendra: “Losertown mayor-elect!”

Round 3
Kevin: “Ready, set, go!”

(Both players try to get a ball again. It is once again Kendra who gets a ball first. She hits Leah so hard that she bawls again.)

Kendra: “You’re out!”

Kevin: “Kendra is right, you are out.”

Round 4
Carmen: “Ready, set, go!”

(It’s only Kendra who tries getting a ball this time, not Leah. Kendra throws the ball so hard that it is thrown so fast that it seems like it is teleporting. It hits Leah.)

Leah: “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!”

Round 5
Kevin: “Ready, set, go!”

(Kendra tries getting the same ball, while Leah tries getting another ball. Kendra throws another ball at Leah so hard that it seems like it’s teleporting.)

Leah: (crying) “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!”

Round 6
Carmen: “Ready, set, go!”

(Leah actually tries getting far away as possible from the balls. A nervous Kendra hits Leah in the face with the ball.)

Leah: “OW! HOW DOES IT STILL HURT SO BADLY?!”

Round 7
Kevin: “Ready, set, go!”

(Leah tries getting away in a corner, Kendra still manages to hit Leah. Leah screams nonstop.)

Leah: “HOW, DO I, TAKE, HER, DOWN?!?!?!”

Carmen: “Well that is not our problem, is it?”

Round 8
Carmen: “Ready, set, go!”

(Kendra gets a ball. Leah tries ducking, and has a catching pose ready.)

Kendra: “You know what? I’m just gonna wait.”

Leah: “Wait all you want.”

Kendra: “You can’t hold that pose forever.”

(Kendra and Leah hold up their plans for so long that there is basically a very long pause. After the wait, Leah decides to try to get a ball, then Kendra shoots the ball so hard that it seems like it’s teleporting again. Leah falls on the floor.)

Leah: “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!”

Round 9
Kevin: “Ready, set, go!”

(Kendra gets a dodgeball. Leah stomps all over the floor. She throws a fit.)

Leah: “FUCK YOU, KENDRA!!! I DON’T WANT TO LOSE TO YOU AGAIN!!!”

(Kendra gasps.)

Carmen: “You do not say that or throw a fit!”

Kevin: “Do not keep that up!”

(Leah eventually settles down. Right then, Kendra throws the dodgeball incredibly hard.)

Leah: “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!”

Round 10
Carmen: “Ready, set, go!”

Leah: (as Kendra gets a ball) “Kendra, take it easy. I don’t think I can take this anymore.”

(Kendra throws the dodgeball as she usually does anyway)

Leah: (screaming and crying) “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!” (faints)