Arnold Family 2050 Halloween

Preparing for Halloween
Joyce: "The Arnold family are preparing for Halloween."

Gloria, Jr.: "Hey, wanna help me with the decorations?"

James: "Sorry, Gloria. I would love to help you with the decorations, but I got pushed down the stairs by a fucker of my father and got paralyzed because of it."

[Gloria, Jr. goes into James' bedroom to see Bob reading the Bible]

Gloria, Jr.: "What about you, Bob?"

Bob: "Get out of my son's bedroom. Halloween is a Satanic holiday in which people are brainwashed into liking it. From goths to gays and from cosplayers to 8-year-old children. Bet you're brainwashed by Satanism, just like the family, too, unlike me, seeing how I'm religious."

Gloria, Jr.: "I'm not brainwashed!"

Bob: "YES YOU ARE, SINNER! NOW HELP SOMEONE WHO CARES, ALREADY! I WILL NOT HAVE ANYONE SERVING THE KINGDOM OF SATAN IN THIS HOUSE!!! GOT IT?"

[Bob pushes Gloria, Jr. out of his bedroom as he slams the door, and continues to read his Bible]

Gloria, Jr.: "Sheesh! What a grump! Better go tell my sibs."

[she goes over to Cyndi-Natalya]

Gloria, Jr.: "Hey, Cyndi-Natalya. Wanna help me with the decorations?"

Cyndi-Natalya: "Oh, dear. I am very sorry, but I can't help."

Gloria, Jr.: "Why?"

Cyndi-Natalya: "Because I can't see everything. I'm blind."

Gloria, Jr.: "Damn. I better go tell auntie Diane."

[Gloria, Jr. goes over to Diane]

Gloria, Jr.: "Diane, can you help me with the decorations?"

Diane: "Sure."

Gloria, Jr.: "Too bad James and Bob won't help me."

Diane: "Why?"

Gloria, Jr.: "Because James is paralyzed and Bob is Catholic and thinks Halloween is Satanic."

Diane: "Well, sweetie. Just because they can help doesn't mean it doesn't matter if they're paralyzed and/or Catholic."

Gloria, Jr.: "I know. My mom died from bile duct cancer like the guy from LazyTown. You know, Robbie Rotten?"

Diane: "Oh yeah, that guy. I loved his songs. "We Are Number One" must have to be one of my favorites."

Gloria, Jr.: "Yeah right."

Trying on costumes
Joyce: "Diane is helping her brother try on a vampire costume."

[Diane, dressed as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark gets James off his wheelchair as she puts him down on the bed]

Diane: "Alright, now let me help you try on your costume since you were paralyzed."

James: "I know."

[Diane grabs a vampire costume, unboxes it and it shows a white ruffled shirt, a red velvet vest, black pants, black dress shoes, and a black vampire cape]

James: "This Halloween is going to be fun!"

Diane: "I know, right?"

James: "Right."

[Diane undresses him as she puts on a white ruffled shirt on him]

Diane: "Careful now."

[Diane puts on a vampire costume on him]

Diane: "There! How does this look?"

[Diane shows James a hand mirror as he looks into it]

James: "I look good!"

Diane: "Great! Now let's put on some spooky fangs so you can look fang-tastic!"

[cut to: A.J., who is dressed as an angel, is helping Cyndi-Natalya with her witch costume]

A.J.: "I know you wear your clothes not only backwards, but inside out, but you need to be more careful with your clothes."

Cyndi-Natalya: "But I can't see anything! Too bad that I'm blind!"

A.J.: "I know that, but can I go get your pole?"

Cyndi-Natalya: "Yeah."

A.J.: "Well, okay then."

[A.J. grabs Cyndi-Natalya's pole as Tobias comes in, dressed as a devil]

Tobias: "Welcome to Hell!"

[Tobias lets out an evil laugh]

Cyndi-Natalya: "What are you wearing? Casual clothes?"

Tobias: "To be fair, it's actually my devil costume, not my casual clothes."

Cyndi-Natalya: "I can't see your costume."

A.J.: "She's blind. Excuse her if her sight isn't perfect."

Tobias: "Oh."

[cut to: Gloria, Jr. is putting on her Ice Cream Sundae costume, Oona is putting on her Candy Shop costume, Peter is putting on his vampire costume, Enid is putting on her witch costume, Zach is putting on his police officer costume, Myra is putting on her Addison from Zombies costume.]

Enid: "Are you going trick-or-treating with us, tonight?"

Gloria, Jr.: "Nah, I prefer either heading to a Halloween party or passing out candy."

Myra: "Well, I prefer trick-or-treating much better."

Oona: "I don't like trick-or-treating. I guess I rather stay at home and watch Halloween movies."

Myra: "What do you think of my Addison costume?"

Gloria, Jr: "Looks good, but do you like my Ice Cream Sundae costume?"

Myra: "I like it."

Oona: "Looks nice on you, but do I look cute in my Candy Shop costume?"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Yes. I think it looks good. Now how do you like my vampire costume?"

Zach: "Pretty good. Do you think I am awesome in my costume?"

Enid: "You look very awesome. So, how do I look?"

Gloria, Jr.: "Like a cute witch."

Oona: "I love it very much."

Myra: "Alright, now we must tell our daddy."

Enid: "You mean my uncle?"

Oona: "Yes, Myra."

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Okay then, now we must tell not only James, but Diane about our costumes so we can go trick-or-treating."

Gloria, Jr.: "But didn't the news said that people over the age of 12 are getting arrested for trick-or-treating?"

Zach: "Not sure about that. I'm only 7 years old so you don't have to worry about that crap."

Gloria, Jr.: "Damn right."

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Ditto."

Enid: "Straight up."

Gloria, Jr.: "Nonsense. You know how old is too old for trick-or-treating is, right?"

[Peter nods]

Gloria, Jr.: "The answer is...16."

Zach, Oona, Myra and Enid: "16?"

Gloria, Jr.: "Yes, when you turn 16, you will be too old to go trick-or-treating."

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "I thought the age for too old to go trick-or-treating was 13 just like the fact where when you turn 13, you can use the internet and/or have an iPhone."

Zach: "Exactly."

Oona: "Same here."

Enid: "Agreed."

Myra: "Yeah. Now let's go trick-or-treating."

Gloria, Jr.: "But wait, where's Cyndi-Natalya and the twins?"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "The twins are helping her."

Myra: "Oh."

[Diane comes in]

Diane: "Oh, kids. Are you ready to go trick-or-treating?"

[Peter nods]

Gloria, Jr., Oona, Enid, Myra and Zach: "Yes."

[Peter, Gloria, Jr., Oona, Enid, Myra and Zach come out of the bedroom]

Preparing for trick-or-treating
James: "Okay, kids. Tonight is the night you will never forget, or should I say, a fright you will never forget. Trick-or-treating will start at 7:00PM and ends at 9:00PM. Diane will give you the trick-or-treat bags so you can go out to trick-or-treat."

Diane: "Alright, kids. Tobias and A.J., you go to a Halloween party. And as for Gloria, Jr., Oona, Peter, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra. You are going trick-or-treating."

A.J.: "But I was invited to my friend, Tiffani's Halloween birthday party."

Diane: "I know that, but you have to stay safe."

Tobias: "At least we have two invitations."

James: "That's fine, you guys. You two can go out and have fun."

A.J.: "Great."

[A.J. and Tobias leave]

James: "And as for you youngest seven children, you can go trick-or-treating."

Diane: "I got the trick-or-treat bags ready."

[Diane gives the Gloria, Jr., Oona, Peter, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra pumpkin pails]

Oona: "If we go to the haunted house, then what do you think it was going to happen?"

Diane: "You will be scared to death."

Cyndi-Natalya: "What if I walk without my pole?"

James: "You do not only trip and fall, but also bump into random stuff such as people, animals, objects and the like."

Gloria, Jr.: "Can I trick-or-treat with my wheelchair or without my wheelchair?"

Diane: "Well, seeing how you are barely shown walking unlike your dad who is paralyzed, it depends on what you like."

Gloria, Jr.: "Great! Now I am MORE shorter than my older cousins!"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "If I can't say "trick or treat", then what if I mouth out the sentence as I use my sign language?"

James: "Well, you don't have to talk since you are deaf. P.S. You do a lot of sign language while mouthing since after you're deaf."

Diane: "Let's go kids, excluding you, Bob. You stay."

[James, the kids and the cousins (excluding the twins, who are at a party) open the door as they leave outside]

Bob: "But Halloween is a sinful holiday! Only goths, cosplayers, gays and 8-year-olds enjoy it!"

Diane: "It's not that sinful. Plus, I will leave a candy bowl at the front porch."

Diane's plan
[Diane goes to the kitchen as she finds an empty bowl]

Diane: "There! Now where is my bag of full-size bars?"

[Diane sees a candy bag as she pours some full-size candy bars in the empty bowl]

Diane: "I need to create a sign."

[Diane uses some paper as she writes "Just take only two!" on said paper as she uses four pieces of tape to stick on said paper into the bowl]

Diane: "And there. That should do it."

[Diane goes outside and puts the candy on an empty chair as she sighs]

Diane: "Finally."

[Diane closes the door]

Diane: "What do you think of my "Just take only two" candy bowl trick?"

Bob: "It's a bad idea. Satanic children go trick-or-treating only to find a candy bowl sitting on the porch. They take more than few pieces of candy! All they do is to worship Satan and they need to be baptized."

Diane: "They can't be baptized anymore."

Bob: "YES THEY CAN DEVIL WOMAN!"

Tiffani's Halloween birthday party
[at a Halloween party, Tobias and A.J. arrive with Tiffani's cake to the latter, now dressed as a witch]

Everyone (excluding Tiffani): "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Tiffani, happy birthday to you!"

[everyone cheers]

[Tiffani blows out the candles]

[everyone cheers as they clap their hands]

Trick-or-treating
[James brings Gloria, Jr., Oona, Peter, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra to their neighbor's house]

[Myra rings the doorbell]

[a neighbor, dressed as Jacob Marley opens the door]

Neighbor: "Boo!"

[Gloria, Jr., Oona, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra scream]

Neighbor (in a ghostly voice): "I am the ghooooooost of Jacoooooooob Marleeeeeeey!"

Gloria, Jr., Oona, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra: "Trick or treat!"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Trick or treat!"

Zach: "Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat! And if you don't, I don't care, I will pull you down your underwear!"

Neighbor: "What the hell?"

Gloria, Jr.: "WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Gloria, Jr., calm down. Zach was just joking."

Gloria, Jr.: "Ugh! Fine, I will calm down."

Zach: "Peter is right. I am just kidding. I wanted him to smell his feet and I will pull down his underwear if he doesn't get my candy."

James: "Everyone, pipe down!"

Neighbor: "Ooooh, what amazing costumes! I will give you candy!"

[the neighbor lets out an eerie moan as he gives the kids candy]

Gloria, Jr., Oona, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra: "Thank you!"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Thank you!"

[the neighbor closes the door]

James: "Come on, let's go to the next house!"

[the kids cheer as they head to the house with a bowl that says "Happy Halloween!"]

James: "Come on, kids. Just take a few pieces."

[Gloria, Jr., Oona, Peter, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid and Myra take a few pieces of candy as they walk away]

James: "Zach, why won't you try?"

Joyce: "It wasn't long enough until Zach tried to take more than just one from the candy bowl"

[Zach sees the bowl as a group of trick-or-treaters show up]

Zach: "Might as well just take more than JUST one!"

[Zach takes more than one as he adds more candy into his bag while chuckling evilly]

Zach: "There. That should do it."

[Zach began chuckling as the trick-or-treaters are shocked on what Zach did]

Trick-or-treater #1: "Did that boy just take more than just one or two?!"

Trick-or-treater #2: "Yes he did."

Trick-or-treater #3: "There's no candy?"

[Trick-or-treater #3 weeps in tears]

[cut to: the Arnold children are in the trick-or-treat line where a lady in her mid-20s outside with the door closed dressed as Glinda the Good Witch of the North is passing out candy while carrying her cauldron bowl]

Glinda Lady: "Awww, look at your cute costumes. I will give you candy."

[Glinda Lady gives the trick-or-treaters candy]

Glinda Lady: "Zoink! Bye bye!"

Zach: "No fair! This line is so damn long! Guess I'll cut in line, too."

[Zach cuts in line while not only rudely shoving the trick-or-treaters, but also pushing the trick-or-treaters out of the way]

Zach: "GIVE ME CANDY, YOU UGLY CUNT!"

Glinda Lady: "Oh my god, that is not very nice!"

Zach: "GIVE ME CANDY RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND THROW IT INTO THE COPPER PAN!"

Glinda Lady: "Death threats are not nice, young man!"

James: "ZACHARY MADDOX ARNOLD!"

Oona: "Don't worry, I got this."

[Oona comes in to the front of the line as she grabs Zach's wrist and takes him away]

Zach: "HEY! I WANT THE CANDY FIRST! THIS LINE IS TOO LONG! I WANT MY CANDY FROM THAT LADY!"

Oona: "Too bad, so sad. Next time, you have to wait in line first."

Zach: "SHUT UP, BITCH!"

Gloria, Jr.: "Zach. She's just a lady in a Glinda costume passing out candy to a line of trick-or-treaters."

Zach (whining): "What's the point?"

Cyndi-Natalya: "Just because she can do something DOESN'T mean she should."

[the line got more shorter than it expected as Glnida meets the Arnold kids]

Gloria, Jr., Oona, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra: "Trick or treat!"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Trick or treat!"

Zach: "Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat!"

Glinda Lady: "Smell your feet? How the hell would I smell your feet?"

Zach: "Because if you don't, smell my feet!"

[James and the kids, excluding Zach, gasp]

James: "Zachary!"

Zach: "What?"

James: "Be nice to that nice lady!"

Glinda Lady: "Awww, look at your cute costumes! You must be a couple of vampires, a police officer, an ice cream sundae, Addison, a candy shop girl, and two witches!"

[The Glinda lady gives out candy to the Arnold children]

Glinda: My mother always told me, always return an insult with a compliment.

Gloria, Jr., Oona, Cyndi-Natalya, Enid, Zach and Myra: "Thank you!"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "Thank you!"

Glinda: Have a safe and happy Halloween, and watch out for the wicked witch of the west and her flying monkeys!

When they get home
[the children are watching Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween on Netflix]

Cyndi-Natalya: "I like the part where Mr. Chu said S'up my witches?"

Enid: "Me too."

Myra: "Me three."

Diane: "Ugh, finally. There are so many trick-or-treaters taking more than just two of the candy. I just put in the full-size bars! Damn!"

Peter (doing sign language while mouthing): "What's wrong about taking few? Trick-or-treaters should just take one or two!"

Diane: "Because a few of them just took more than two! The hell is their problem?"

Enid: "I don't understand. Zach was greedy because he ran off just to take more than one!"