Ask the Xiaoying Gang

Rules

 * 1) Don't ask any inappropriate/lewd/NSFW/18+ questions.
 * 2) Only ask the gang questions, not commands.
 * 3) No repeated questions (and by questions, I mean questions you already asked and the gang already answered).
 * 4) No meme questions, please!
 * 5) Don't ask any questions that personally offends the gang members.
 * 6) As of after the attempted cancellation of BE!Maria and the Xiaoying gang, you are not allowed to try and provoke the members with some bad faith questions and/or remarks.

Questions
To Maria, do you like to cosplay? If so, what characters do you like to cosplay as?

Maria: “I cosplayed as Revy from Black Lagoon under a fake name. I have a bandage that I use to cover my Roman numeral XXI marking because the character wears a pretty revealing outfit. I also used a tattoo sleeve for the right arm. It’s hard trying to keep your composure when Chinese girl-obsessed morons keep telling you to do a striptease. Longwei went as Jotaro Kujo. I’m planning to go as DIO next, since he’s very easy for a girl to pull off despite the character’s well built frame.”

To Longwei, What is your thoughts on Taiwan-Japan relations?

Longwei: “Japan and Taiwan seem to be friends for some odd reason despite everything. I’ll bring Maria to Taiwan someday.”

To Maria, do you like Digimon?

Maria: “Yeah, I do. I sometimes play Cyber Sleuth. I actually stole a Switch Lite a while back to play it.”

To Mila, What’s it like being in the gang?

Mila: (Writing down) “I like it. I don’t like to be treated like a charity case by my parents or anyone. They know how I am with this. My father thinks the boss kidnapped me and is holding me as a sex slave, when he’s not. Longwei’s like a big brother and Maria is becoming more like a sister-in-law. I even told Hong Kong authorities over at least ten times I don’t want to come back. Sometimes, it really pisses me off.”

To Maria, what did it feel like after your mother’s death?

Maria: “After mom died, I spent days crying. My world broke into thousands of little pieces when they told me she died from severe injuries. 13 years was enough to bleed. 16 years is enough to make you snap. I had no one to read or talk about JoJo with. It was very hard. When I was sixteen, then what was left of my humanity had gone away. Derek shot my father right in front of me. I screamed. Mikey had no choice. He packed my things and sent me away, telling me to find another place far away from here.”

To Zhao, did you consider it understandable when Starlight got shouted at by your underlings?

Zhao: “Yes. Even the mute Mila was pissed, and she doesn’t even have a good perception of her own mother. Maria, Feng, and Longwei lost their moms as a result of abuse. Lei and Jiayi’s mom died in childbirth and never really knew her. Mi-Yung was made completely deaf by her own father. Mi-Yung’s mother died from a bacterial infection. Her father refused to treat and Satomi grew up in an impoverished area of Tokyo. A lot of the gang members in my gang lost their mothers or were orphans, and Liu Wei’s parents don’t know their son is alive because the Jianglings demanded they pay ransom. When they paid it, he never was returned.”

To Maria, Why does Satomi call you Twinkie despite the fact you still had Japanese customs?

Maria: “She doesn’t mean anything racist or anything. She knows that Transformers is partially Japanese, and the fact my mom still taught me Japanese up until she died, and then my grandmother had to teach me Japanese at home until my father died. I still kept up with my education up until I graduated school. When Satomi calls me Twinkie, it’s actually in a playful manner and isn't anything serious.”

To Mila, what do you think of the accusations hold against Zhao?

Mila: (writing down) “Is he a killer? Yes. Is he a child trafficker and rapist? Fuck no! The boss never harmed me. He gave me new clothes and a Hitmonchan plush brought from Japan upon arriving in the states. We had some home made Chinese food. He did everything my father never did for me. Boss isn’t some innocent angel, though, as he took part in torture aswell, but he punished anyone who raped in his gang, and now that bastard thinks he raped me to keep me quiet, even though he’s the closest thing I had to a father.”

To Maria, Is Lei a good father?

Maria: “Surprisingly, yes. I had to sit his daughter down and explain why her father needs supervision from her aunt when she comes to visit and what antisocial personality disorder is, but he loves her. He calls her gūng jyú, meaning princess in Cantonese and hó oi dīk, which means cutie in Cantonese. Lei and Jiayi are better at Cantonese than at Mandarin. At first, I actually got pissed off that Lei got married and eloped outside the gang when Zhao explicitly told us not to, but nowadays, we're more tolerant of it.”

To Maria, How does Fumei’s gang get along with you?

Maria: “Fumei’s gang is a Chinese-American gang called Scorpion Blood. Both bosses were pissed off with Fumei and Lei with their marriage and parenthood. A gang member told me that she doesn’t have a good taste in men, and here's the thing: Aside from Fumei, none of the other gang members in Scorpion Blood like him. They adore Xiu-mei, but not her father.”

To Maria, does Lei ever get angry?

Maria: “Yes, and it’s terrifying! He doesn’t raise his voice, but he becomes the most terrifying bastard ever.”

To Bopha, what are some of the things you should never do with fellow gang members?

Bopha: “Maria’s mother is a sore spot and is an unacceptable target in our gang if we are doing something like comedy. Xiu-mei’s also an unacceptable target to Lei and Jiayi.”

To Maria, what are your views on the Vic Mignogna controversy and issue?

Maria: “I feel bad for him and I don’t even like most Christianity sects. Vic seems very respectful and that’s rare to me considering everything. Derek deserved everything he got. Vic did not. I don’t even like yaoi either. I don’t mind if it’s two guys sitting together or fluff, but explicit sex puts you off.”

To Jiayi, why do you enjoy play fighting with your brother and getting the upper hand?

Jiayi: “It kind of like coping measure. When I tickle him, I wonder if it the same man who put a hamster in a microwave when he was 11 and was in an snuff film before his 11th birthday would also had a soft spot of tickles. He never fights back if I do it, but he becomes very violent when others do it because of mistrust. The whole tickling thing is a coping measure because Lei is beyond screwed up.”

To Maria, what did Fumei and Lei do for their wedding?

Maria: “They went to Macau. They tried to do a human canvas where Fumei would paint Lei’s body while Lei was lying down, which proved to be a pretty bad idea for Lei. Yes, believe it or not, the sociopath who put a fucking hamster in the microwave when he was a child and participated in snuff films has a fucked-up interest not only in the Nanking Massacre and is also Unit 731 and is highly ticklish, but at least she got him to stay still. If we tried, he would act violently. Lei said to me “It was basically tickle torture of the worst degree.” This was the first time we heard about Baise being ticklish. He only lets his sister and wife do it though.”

To Maria, was there any risks about traveling alone homeless?

Maria: “Yes, a fuckton, I had to be careful around muggers, I almost got raped once, Which I have never even told any of my fellow gang members, but here we go, I was almost raped by this guy who probably fantasied wanting to rape a Asian-American girl, this happened when I left a hotel I spent one night in, I was 17 years old at the time, a three months before joining the gang, he grabbed me into a alleyway and tore off my damn shirt and bra off aswell managing to removed my jeans, yeah, not a pleasant surprise, I punched him in the face and it was a major fistfight between an attempted rapist and a half-naked Japanese bitch, I had to fight in nothing but my underwear, I ended up having to punch the guy off and ended up grabbing a gun that I stole for self-defence and training, I shot him 4 in the arms as he removed my underwear and proceeded to remove his, Later found by a police officer as I put my clothes back on, turned out he was a man with mental health issues and was previously convicted of 2 violent rapes, one being against an 8-year old girl.”

To Lei, are you and Fumei planning to enroll Xiu-mei in school?

Lei: “Yes, me and Fumei pose as wealthy couple to hide the fact we are bloodthirsty killers and I fake emotions alot.“

To Zhao, Did you ever go to the first Nanking Massacre Memorial Day?

Zhao: “Yes, I have, I brought the group with me and were under the guise of Asian-American tourists wanting to learn more, It took Maria, Satomi and Takeshi a while to know that people visiting museum didn’t hate them for being half or pure Japanese and the tour guide told us even Japanese visit this site, Maria even told me her grandfather was 12 and living in the United States at the time, unfortunately, due to the coronavirus outbreak in China, we cancelled the trip and went a memorial in a Chinatown instead, Feng even told Satomi he never hated the Japanese, he hated the people who did this, not her because she wasn’t alive back then, All of us went under false names.”

To Maria, was there any changes to Lei’s personality after he became a father?

Maria: “Not much, but when watching the ending scene where the grandmother sets the house on fire to stop the soldiers from trying to rape her granddaughter.....fuck....or the ripping out the fetus....fucking hell...why the fuck does he watch this shit.....of Black Sun: The Nanking Massacre, he averts his eyes a little bit, he watches the film just fine, he’s used to that as he’s seen it around 30 times, he also leaves Xiu-mei with us because he’s a responsible parent, he also watches DuckTales with her, he has yet to show her the reboot because he doesn’t think Xiu-mei would like the fact that Doofus Drake is a fucking asshole in the remakes.”

To Maria, Have you heard about NASCAR?

Maria: “Yes, I have, I’m an half-American, I watched it with my dad all the time, he loved it, I went to and watched the race with Longwei, Joseph and Mila because I wanted to go, Daytona 500 in 2001 is where Dale Earnhardt Sr. died, I knew that from Ken Schrader’s body language when he saw him lifeless in the car and that the ambulance was at walking speed, Dale was gone, he was my dad’s favorite racer and never lived to see him win a Daytona 500, the others are quite accepting, I had to cover Mia’s eyes though during that one thing because she didn’t understand what was going on, so, when Dale Sr. died, I lost one of the pieces of my dead father.”

To Maria, did you ever encounter any racism?

Maria: “Yeah, the son of a POW in a Japanese POW camp told me to “get the fuck out” because I was speaking Japanese to Satomi, The said former POW was disgusted at his behavior, I even told him my grandfather is Mikey Kimmings, This was on 2006, another instance of racism was a man telling me to go back to Japan, racism experienced in Japan was mostly by uyoku dantai groups, which are basically Japanese version of American Neo-Nazis, Japan only arrests them of they get out of hand such as assaulting, mostly going after my friends, I remember dealing with a splinter group in America in a Japanese-American predominant area.”

To Maria, what were your thoughts on high school?

Maria: “Sucked ass even though I was a very good student and refused to drop out so I could continue my education, which I valued more despite the fact Derek murdered my fucking dad, I actually pushed and kicked Josephine, We got suspended, me for several days, Josephine for a week, the principal had actually a ton of fucking common sense for a dude controlled by religion and told her it was a low shot to go after me for it and that her father was wrong to do that, also, I was a handful of non-white students in a white predominant school, me being suspended actually gave me time to think and left me alone.”

To Longwei, did you ever discover Maria loved Transformers?

Longwei: “Yeah, she’s pretty much told all of us she loves Transformers, we accept that, I was too poor to own even a Bumblebee figure, Lei and Jiayi were born when the toyline started and were five when it started going out of popularity, most of us were toddlers, but Maria fell in love at first sight, her favorite was a 1984 Thundercracker figure brought for her 3rd birthday, so, we have a shelf dedicated to her Transformers collection, hell, we even gave her the boxset, you just see a side you don’t see in contrast she holds a gun, she treats her figures gently and with love, almost as if it was her own baby, she even told me when she was a child, she preferred Transformers to people, she told me that she learned to handle a pistol using the Megatron figure, which transforms into a gun.”

To Maria, when the twins joined in 2001, what was their first Christmas like for them?

Maria: “They were both pretty confused as no one has even given them a gift before, they spent their 17th birthday with running away from home, a week earlier, the twins were grounded for the attempted rape on Jiayi fiasco, Lei got some books on the Holocaust and Unit 731, on Chinese characters and even a new shotgun, Jiayi got some new clothes, some books and several hunting knives.”

To Jiayi, how did you spent your 17th birthday?

Jiayi: “Between the attempted rapist and us running away from home, yeah, the first thing we did with the money was to find a Chinese buffet since Lei was starved for two days because of the “beating-the-shit-out-of-sister’s-attempted-rapist” fiasco last week before our birthday, he ate nine plates of food while I offered to pay, Lei kind of had it worse than I have, if Lei fucked up such as buying stupid spoiled whore the wrong color of coat or when she was twelve, not getting her the right doll, there was no food for five days, Yeah, living with them sucked, during their “punishments” done to Lei, they refused to give him money in case he tried to buy food and refused to give him a packed lunch, he fainted several times.”

To Lei, do you have any “stupid vigilante” stories?

Lei: “Yes, One time, This happened at the beach with Jiayi, Fumei and Xiu-mei, At the age of 35, I’m still on lean muscle but thin side, not thin enough to reveal ribs, this MRA guy thought I was abused by my wife because I was thin, while said wife was lying on my side near my abdomen, Bare in mind, I was abused by my foster parents because they thought I was a girl and tried to drag me away from my wife, bad idea.”

To Lei, Did you ever grow out of the “Big Eater” phase?

Lei: “Yeah, At the age of 12 at by the time I was 17, I didn’t really get regular meals and required more than my sister, Those “wholesome” religious fuckers actually remembered to actually feed me, I grew out of this at 18, The other gang members couldn’t blame me starving, Overeating wasn’t the nicest feeling, but neither was starvation, so I basically ate whatever I could, Had to stop doing that because it was making me sick.”

To Jiayi, do you have any stories about Xiu-mei and Lei?

Jiayi: “Several, One time, Lei and Xiu-mei went to a park, he managed to encounter stupid spoiled whore Penelope, who now had a kid born to a deadbeat dad, her daughter was a spoiled brat who wanted Xiu-mei’s qipao doll, she blamed Lei for how she turned out, She should blame herself for how me and Lei were treated.”

To Mi-Yung, What do you think of Hetalia?

Mi-Yung: (signing) “It’s a very sensitive topic, I prefer more shoujo anime and manga, also manhwa, I'm okay if you like it.”

To BE!Maria, does the gang have links to the any crime gangs in East Asia?

BE!Maria: “Some groups, we mostly gather in the underbelly of Miami and sometimes Kowloon and other Wretched Hives, some Yakuza groups use the guise of Japanese far-right groups to hide themselves, as it’s pretty fucking difficult to arrest them back in Japan, Joseph and Mi-Yung are quite aware they use this as a coverup and can tell them from real uyoku dantai groups, they use katanas instead of guns like how me, Takeshi and Satomi use them, many people go to the underbelly, drug cartels, triads like Scorpion Blood and Black Heaven, prostitutes and pimps, just fucking anyone.”

To BE!Maria, what is the pettiest thing you ever heard?

BE!Maria: “There was an incident I’ve heard where this 13-year old Japanese-Korean girl was having her JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure-themed birthday at the Manga/Manhua/Manhwa library, she got a massive set of JoJo manga and DVDs, instead of JoJo manga she got, there was books on Unit 731, Nanjing, comfort women, just any horrible shit done to Korea and China, just anything to do with Japanese imperialism in general, for the DVDs, she got Japanese war crime exploitation films in the cases instead, some were second hand, the same bitch from the ripping up MHA story ruined a girl’s birthday because she couldn’t put aside her bullshit for a moment, She tried to justify ruining a 13-year old’s birthday, we just call that girl the Manga Culture Jammer, Yumiko donated the books to the local library.”

To Joseph, can you tell us a bit more about the ”Manga Culture Jammer” girl?

Joseph: “Yeah, sure, The Manga-Manhua-Manhwa library was a library that used to be an old library that was about to be shut down, it went under new management and is now a haven for young manga fans, this girl took objection to Chinese manhua and Japanese manga being in the same place, her name is Chua Lian-hua, she’s annoying as fuck, she’s 21 but acts like a 13-year old bratty child, according to her rhetoric, all manga is the product of imperialists and shouldn’t sit next to “pure” manhua comics, she ended up having a crush on me, even though I was nearly 38, almost a 17 year age difference, but I look very young, I was a victim of the far-right, she just bitches about manga.”

To Jiayi, what kind of a parent is Lei, does he have rules?

Jiayi: “Lei doesn’t allow his daughter to own her own tablet, she can play games on the laptop and daddy’s tablet with him and listen to music, she’s just isn’t allowed to own her own tablet like most parents who give their kid a tablet, he says she should wait until she’s older, he also bans YouTube Kids cartoons like those ones that manage to get past the censors, He bans what he thinks are “corrupting influences” such as the Powerpuff Girls 2016 reboot, I don’t blame him for that, one of the storyboard artists is a convicted pedophile, Teen Titans GO! for obvious reasons, he doesn’t want his daughter to grow up being a tablet-addicted spoiled brat that treats others poorly, so, he’s one of those moderately conservative parents, he does permit her to watching Steven Universe because of it’s positive message and acceptance, he allows her to watch kid’s cartoons if they don’t have any terrible messages like Teen Titans GO!.”

To Maria, did any of your fellow gang members or yourself experience any racism as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic?

Maria: “Just me, Xiu-mei and Longwei, me and Longwei were born in the states, when Xiu-mei started kindergarten, a parent from her school put a message reading “My white kid shouldn’t share a class with your disgusting little c***k disease spreader”, Xiu-mei is a second-generation Chinese-American, she’s only visited China twice, one at the age of 3 in 2018 and 4 before the outbreak in China, she mostly went to Macau and Hong Kong, I got my hair pulled by some bitch, Longwei punched her, I told that bitch I was born in the states.”

To Maria, did anyone in the gang get any notes about “loud sex” from anyone?

Maria: “I got a note after I did it with Longwei at 21 that read “Maria and Longwei, I’m happy for you and I’ll let you two finish, but do you have to fuck so loud?!”, Lei got one with Fumei that read “To the Chinese couple next door, Your sex is so damn noisy, Is 1. An exorcism taking place, 2. Loud sex, and 3. A murder case that went horribly wrong?”.”

To Jiayi, why do you dress in Gothic Lolita fashion with your twin?

Jiayi: “It went well with the vampire theme we had aswell as our appearance, Lei never really bothered to cut his hair, so, it basically gave us the appearance of twins that could change their clothes at will, we stopped doing that since we started to secondary sex characteristics such as me developing breasts and widened hips and Lei developing muscle, me and him were nearly identical other than that, the reason was because it became more difficult for us.”

To Maria, Did Jonathan Liang ever suffer discrimination due to the COVID-19 pandemic?

Maria: “Yes, he did, the main issue is that Jonathan is a fourth-generation Chinese-American, He doesn’t know how to speak Chinese or Cantonese, He once was threatened about the virus by a white man when he was out shopping for his girlfriend, told him to go back to China, Jonathan’s ancestors came from Hong Kong and his 4x great grandma came from Nanjing, Jonathan’s never been to Hong Kong.”

To any gang member, is there one film or show you refuse to watch or use?

Lei: “The 2018 Aquaman film and soon-to-be sequel, I refuse to support a film when they have a fucking bitch of an actress who has abused her ex-husband and falsely accused him of abusing her, as a guy who survived physical abuse and starved at the hands of a foster mother and her daughter who was my age, Fuck the BelieveWomen movement, I believe my sister because I saw her being almost raped aswell as Tanisha and Maria, Those women on the web basically want attention by using Knight Templar methods.”

Mila: (written) “I’m definitely boycotting the Mulan live-action film, Even though I haven’t lived in Hong Kong since I was 15, and I stay the hell out of Shan Tin, I’m a passionate and proud Hongkongese who isn’t fond of the Chinese government even though I’m in the Triad, I refuse to give my hard earned gang money to a woman who supports police brutality.”

BE!Maria: “This may seem really fucking stupid and petty, But I only watch the English Dragon Ball dub from an unofficial site and always set the language to Japanese if I have it on DVD that supports the Japanese language, As much as I love the English dub, I think I’m gonna stick to the Japanese version where Goku is voiced by obachan Nozawa, As much as I strongly dislike religion due to obvious reasons, they complain about Vic’s faith then uses disgraceful language, I would of found the recording of Goku calling his son a f****t hilarious if it wasn’t so hypocritical, now, I don’t hate actors like Todd Haberkorn, Chris Patton, while I dislike his stance, I still respect him as a voice actor and Chuck Huber, he’s my favorite, I still find it hilarious that Hiei, Jiayi’s lovable dwarf husband shares his voice with Android 13, who is a tall trucker-looking guy, She almost had a mindfuck, To make it short, I refuse to support several bastards who fired a guy over a fucking jelly bean yet don’t fire the people who made offensive bullshit!”

To Lei, what do you think of the parents of Xiu-mei’s classmates?

Lei: “They really piss me off, the father of one of her classmates is a huge racist and a Holocaust denier, I only teach Xiu-mei the basics about the Holocaust, she does have a clear understanding what happened and he told me to ”stop feeding her bullshit”, His racism seemed to have taken it’s toll, His son refused to sit next to anyone who wasn’t white and called me ”yellow skin”, another was an anti-vaxxer mom who hated autistics, Xiu-mei’s best friend is an autistic girl and she actually thinks her stimming by flapping her hands is adorable, she demanded that she gets expelled, yeah, another one was a woman who steals toys off children.”

To Lei and Fumei, was there any incidents involving any of the parents?

Lei: “More than I can count, The racist guy’s son hit Xiu-mei for not speaking English and drew over her calligraphy and told her Trump will deport her back to China, even got ink over her $250 qipao and leggings, When me and Fumei was called in alongside the guy’s parents, The father tried to insist that Xiu-mei was lying, didn’t work, I even told the bastard Xiu-mei was born in the states, then he told me to dress her like an American and stop teaching her about the Holocaust, Fuck that guy.”

Fumei: “There was another incident involving a mother who steals toys off children, now, Xiu-mei is allowed to bring in one toy to play with, this time, it was her qipao doll named Binghua, She went “Is that a Barbie?, No, That’s for smart kids, not for you”, She assumed Xiu-mei was stupid because she mostly spoke Mandarin/Cantonese, She fucked with the wrong mom.”

Lei: “Ugh, the worst one was the antivaxxer mom, She tried to stop me going to clinic to get Xiu-mei vaccinated, even kids of gang members do this, She tried to claim it’ll give her brain damage, she also believed in “natural” immunities, she sent in her kid with the common cold, Xiu-mei stayed away from him, I ended up picking her up from kindergarten because I couldn’t risk her getting sick.”

To Lei, why do you teach your daughter about the Holocaust?

Lei: “To show her what horror humans are capable of, I only teach her the basics, I’m not ready to teach her Nanking yet, her uncle and two aunts are of Japanese descent and they only sit with her to discuss only certain war atrocities, I’m definitely not showing her any film of it anytime soon.”

To Lei, did the Slater Family ever find out about Sarah?

Lei: “Yes, Martha and Daniel think she’s a horrible person for stealing $100,000 from Autism Speaks, stealing from a charity that doesn’t do shit with the people they claim to help.....is fair game, Sarah is the mother of an autistic girl named Suzie, she stims, dislikes loud noises and is curious, We plan to send both girls to an elementary school soon after because of their kindergarten being shitheads.”

To Maria, What’s your favorite thing about living with a Chinese-predominant family?

Maria: “Hmmmm, Well, I like celebrating Chinese New Year, I prefer to wear a loose qipao over a tight one like how sexualized Chinese women wear, Everyone was very patient when I was learning Mandarin and Cantonese as I spoke and read Japanese, They still told me it was perfectly fine to wear a kimono and during Japanese-American festivals, they’ll let me wear it, I even think it’s kind of adorable when westerners wear kimonos, Satomi told me she still likes kimonos.”

To Lei and Jiayi, when did you meet Sarah Kelin?

Lei: “In high school, she was a junior and I was a sophomore, so, a year behind me, I was a starving teenager with shit foster parents and she was the popular model student and cheerleader, she found me outside the school with me trying to steal her lunch while she isn’t looking, she became sympathetic when she realized what the hell was going on.”

Jiayi: “Yeah, We found out she joined an underground hacker ring later on the day after we got the fuck out of school.”

To Maria, how come you refuse to contact your cousins?

Maria: “That’s probably for the best, Hideki doesn’t even know I exist because he has never seen me, that’s probably for the best, same with the boy or girl Kuyo has, that her first cousin once removed is a murderer and gang member, I was told never to come back, I’m basically an exiled heiress of a dying family, It’s probably best for Kuyo’s kid to never find out who I am, most of my family members on both sides are dead, I stay away from my What-If and main self’s family because they’re not mine.”

To Longwei, how was your life in the quarantine during the coronavirus pandemic?

Longwei: “Kind of sucks are assassinations and trips are on hold, can’t even go to the fucking bar.”

To Maria, do you like George Floyd?

Maria: “As a person, Floyd wasn't the greatest. Growing up in a poor section in Houston, George got busted with a ton of crimes. However, after serving 5 years for a robbery, he decided he was gonna change for the better by working at the local church and preaching about peace. It's kinda sad that someone who wanted to change for the better died by those who tried to take him down. I hope he gets justice though, He did something I can’t even do now, turn my life around, several violent murders and robberies and I’m unable to, but he can and I appreciate him for doing so.”

To Longwei, any social media accounts?

To Maria, would you rather stay inside or go outside?

To Maria, do you still like Fist of the North Star?

Maria: “Yes, I do actually, There’s tons of Values Dissonance with main me, she plays the M-rated Fist of the North Star, I do too and sometimes watch it with Longwei, I watched it with my uncle all the time when I was a tiny thing.”

To Jiayi, are your fellow gang members aware of your endometriosis?

Jiayi: “Yes, I had to be put on the pill and take pain medication at 18 years old, I’m still one of the youngest gang members, I’ve seen my brother suffer hunger pains to the point he would faint, It’s like that except for the womb, I even vomited from it, Due to how heavy my menstrual cycle was and Lei wasn’t taking any chances, we had to stop switching our clothes to confuse people.”

To Lei, were there any incidents in any comic or anime convention you went to?

Lei: “Yes, I went with Fumei, Jiayi, Maria and Xiu-mei, Xiu-mei is a big fan of Cells at Work! and has dressed up as the Platelet, which looks like a kindergarten student, so, it was perfect for her, she was quite well-behaved and many cosplayers told me how adorable she is, Now, one thing I didn’t realise is that there’s a lolicon fanbase for the Platelet leader, which is composed of several fans in the fandom, I just saw Cells at Work! as a cute cartoon me and her can watch since she’s far too young for JoJo, which is animated by the same company and there’s a JoJo-esque character that goes “ORAORAORA!”, needless to say, she does repeat it, this guy who was holding a dakimakura as Maria told me, The guy smelled awful and Xiu-mei was scared of him, he was talking about how “cute” the Platelet leader was, next thing, he grabbed her and started calling her a “cute little loli” and started feeling her, and I punched him, my wife went for security, it turns out the guy was a man on a sex offender’s registration who was in jail for two sexual assaults, one of which was against a 14-year old girl, I’m revolted, I never thought perverts saw the character that way.”

Fumei: “It took a while for her to get over it and a Killer T Cell cosplayer told her not all grownups are like that, She’s fine most of the time, but discussing it with her freaks her out, the fact she was nearly sexually assaulted by a sexual predator pissed us off, he became Lei’s latest victim a few days later, when I asked him what he did, he cut off his genitals, shoved them in his mouth and then carved “PEDO“ on his chest, then shoved one of his eyeballs up his ass.”

To Maria, where there any problems with Xiu-mei’s birth afterwards?

Maria: “Yeah, Lei not only had a bastard child until he and Fumei were married, but a false rape allegation against him, not by Fumei, but Fumei’s own brother and several of her gang members, this went on until Xiu-mei was two when her father was proven that the sex that conceived Xiu-mei was consensual, Xiu-mei was born healthy and they did have a doctor come and take a look at her and even the doctor who examined Fumei could not find any evidence of forceful rape or foul play, but, I still wonder, what was his motive behind this?, Did Lei want an heir?, or did he just have sex without thinking that he was gonna be a parent?”

Jiayi: “When my brother was questioned, he did admit to having sex a few times with Fumei as early as 2014, even saying that it was consensual, Fumei even admitted to agreeing to it, she was like the girlfriend I didn’t know my brother even had, I wouldn’t call my brother ugly while he was in high school, he was attractive but he was gaunt from hunger, women didn’t usually notice a poor little Chinese boy suffering from malnourishment, At first, Boss was upset and so was Yuyan.”

Zhao, can you tell us a little more about your family?

Zhao: “Sure, My extended family lived in Chinatown, I live with my brother, sister, sister-in-law, my cousin and his kids, My uncle was an old man, my sister’s 13-year old daughter and 17-year old son died, my brother died alongside his wife, 12-year old son and 1-year old daughter, she was dropped on her head, my cousin died alongside all four kids, my sister, she was not in the house at the time of the massacre and she moved back to Shanghai, My sister in law was brutally gangraped, There was 10 men in the house at once, I took my six-year old nephew and hid in a closet with him, I’m assuming that they raped my niece and my cousin’s two daughters, who were 12 and 13 as the both was were naked from the waist down, his youngest, aged 5 and 7 were stabbed to death, my uncle was stabbed repeatedly, he was 76.”

To Lei and Fumei, what is the most heartbreaking thing you saw?

Fumei: “I work as a bakery assistant under a false name, I had a mother come in 2 weeks after she made her order, her child had cancer, She asked the message be changed to “Happy Birthday, Kid’s name” to “Happy Birthday in Heaven, Kid’s name”, turned out her child died before her 5th birthday, another was with a woman who’s fiancée turned out to be abusive, my manager, who was actually a drug smuggler of Korean descent who was on the run for assault and robbery accepted it, Another one was for a baby back in 2015 that was stillborn.”

Lei: “I remember one time when I was shopping with Fumei and Xiu-mei, Xiu-mei was playing with her Jessie doll, A kid came in with his mom, we were at a mall located in Orlando, I saw this spoiled tween with her mom, She had a little sister who was probably suffering from leukemia or cancer, it was the kid’s birthday and the damn tween tried to make it all about her, even demanding what shops we go to and what the kid should buy, even threw a damn tantrum as if she was Xiu-mei’s age, Xiu-mei had spoken to her after the tween ran off, the girl’s aunt went out to get her and said that the girl was very nice, but her sister was mean and controlling over both her mother and herself, then, tween snatched Xiu-mei’s Jessie doll and said that she wanted it, I snatched it off her and scolded her for being a selfish bitch, the little girl, who was 5, thanked Xiu-mei for being her friend, I gave Xiu-mei some of my money and she brought the girl a Barbie doll, she died a week later, her mom invited me and Xiu-mei to her funeral, the first ever funeral Xiu-mei has went to, her mother told Xiu-mei “Thanks for being her friend”.”

To Tanisha, did people ever belittle you for your choice when you aborted?

Tanisha: “Yes, many times, those idiots only care about a fetus until it’s born, I found the guy who fathered that parasite and with Lei, killed him, One woman said I was a “murderer” for aborting “my child”, Fuck you bitch! I was fucking raped!”

To Lei, was there anything to get back at the Gardners?

Lei: “Yes, many times, one time when I was 16, This was petty revenge, She got into the bathroom and locked it from the inside when I needed to urinate badly, and my bladder was about to burst to the point I could feel the bulge on my lower abdomen, so I peed on the coat she was planning to wear to school and designer shampoo, conditioner and body wash bottles and the next day, no one would go near her because she reeked of urine, it’s a pretty vile revenge, I’m not really proud of it, but fuck it was worth it, she was a fucking bitch, also, I exchanged Gareth’s newspapers, he read pretty much the US Daily Mail with porn magazines a friend brought me, I did the piss-in-designer wash set prank when she either got new ones and both Gareth and Jennifer were away, so, she reeked of piss no matter what she did, it was a pretty strong smell.”

Jiayi: “I called my twin a “dirty bastard“ as a joke afterwards, well, served her right for it, she became known as pee-pee girl for the rest of the year, until we left on our birthday.”

To Maria, what are the worst kinds of people in the criminal gang underworld?

Maria: “Those who prostitute or rape their children, mores specifically, old perverts in their 60’s and 70’s who prostitute their teenage granddaughters, anyone who’s committed crimes against children are highly despised and ostracized among their fellow gang members, some of those gang members are parents like Lei, sometimes Lei’s hired to take down pimps who prostitute their female relatives, another are Neo-Nazis, We’ve killed tons of them, being an abusive parent who‘s killed their spouse of kids can have every parent gang member on your ass, Another are extreme anti-abortion activists that bomb clinics or killing women who had abortions.”

Longwei: “Yeah, it‘s basically a prison with no guards, but if your went into someone’s home and raped someone’s daughter, Yeah, then we will know who you are and boil your testicles.”

Lei: “Dongshun told me this Hong Kong man who was on pedophile charges, when his fellow gang members found out what he did, They castrated the guy and told him never to come back again, Child molesters are frowned upon in gang communities.”

To Maria, were you expecting Lei to be a deadbeat and sperm donor?

Maria: “When I realized he got a women pregnant?, Yes, I think everyone did, he had multiple factors for being an abusive or a deadbeat parent, crap childhood, rapist father, no, he wasn't raped, abused by foster parents, all that shit, Fumei genuinely grew to like Lei over time, we just thought Lei conceived for the hell of it and abandon his one night stand.”

To Lei, how do you start your day with your family now you are together during the COVID-19 pandemic and before that?

Lei: “Good question, Before the pandemic, Me and Fumei had split custody as her fellow gang members aren’t real fond of me, even after the false rape accusation was cleared, Yuyan warmed up to me overtime and became the closest thing I had to a mother-in-law, if they are both staying for several nights, Fumei sleeps on a futon in Maria’s room, Xiu-mei is old enough to sleep on her own, but in some occasions, me and her co-sleep, now, we get up, get dressed, I will sometimes take her to the park with my sister or wife, we would have fried rice and dumplings for breakfast, Xiu-mei likes hers Mantou, which is unstuffed, Then I will sit to watch cartoons with her, she loves Cells at Work! and Pokémon and likes traditional Chinese music and we teach her both Cantonese and Chinese languages and when she’s older, we’ll sign her up for Chinese and Cantonese classes, then lunch, we sometimes make pancakes and other days we make rice cakes, then I put Xiu-mei down for her nap, she sleeps for about 2 hours, which gives me and Fumei enough time to have time to ourselves, like watching horror films, her tickling me and violent anime, when we do wake up Xiu-mei, We teach her some Cantonese and Chinese words, we also raise her on a balanced diet and only eats sweets if she’s earned them, Sometimes, we’ll go shopping, at the end of the day, she goes to bed at 7:30pm and I go to bed depending on what I was doing that day.”

To Lei, what happened to Penelope after the “piss prank”?

Lei: “Her former clique started to bully her, they would call her “pee-pee-girl”, ‘Pee-nelope” and “Piss Panties”, my favorite being “Spongegirl Piss-Her-Pants” some of her bullies even forced her to pee herself several times to increase this, even forcing her to drink large quantities of water and deny her use of the toilet so she would piss herself in class, even the boyfriends of her clique started going out to restaurants with me and my sister, basically no one would sit next to her.”

To Longwei, did you ever visit Taiwan?

Longwei: “Yes, actually, I did with Lei, Fumei, Jiayi, Takeshi, Satomi and Maria, Satomi was kind of confused at the fact Taiwan, also known as the Republic or China loved Japanese culture, Satomi’s told me she’s read about Japanese war crimes, I had to explain to her that Taiwan wasn’t treated ‘war crimes’ shit such as Korea, They kind of knew that Fumei was a mainland Chinese because of her mainland accent and were expecting her daughter to do whatever the fuck she wanted, a native Taiwanese gang member told me mainlanders don’t get the best reputation, but they were startled how well-behaved Xiu-mei was.”

To Lei, what are Xiu-mei's favorite cartoons?

Lei: “She loves 1987 DuckTales, Dora, Some Chinese cartoons, My Neighbor Totoro, She also likes Cells at Work!, It’s basically Osmosis Jones + Hetalia + JoJo, She loves Pokémon too.”

To Lei, do you hate YouTube's new COPPA rules?

Lei: “Yeah, It proves parents rely on technology to parent their neglected brats then blame the creator if their kid sees something inappropriate, This is exactly why Xiu-mei will never be raised on technology and is limited to what she can watch on YouTube, Parents these days are so idiotic and neglectful, Thinking YouTube is a good substitute for parenting, Their parenting is godawful and those content creators are getting punished because Mommy can’t parent little Billy and baby Leon, They also seem to assume all animation is for kids, from what I’ve learned, JoJo isn’t for kids. Neither is South Park, Family Guy, F is for Family, Rick and Morty, and other adult animations. I wouldn’t even leave Xiu-mei alone with a tablet all the time and I made it clear to her that she is not to be left alone watching YouTube.”

To Lei, what do you think about the Homo Sensual Nightclub?

Lei: “One thing I really dislike about it is even though not all the attendees are bad, most are actually pretty nice people, I remember one time me, Chris and Darren were sent there to pick up supplies from our client, Now, they didn’t mind an Asian-American man, but one thing that does keep happening, I look very feminine and to fit in, Darren picked out a flashy croptop and jeans with a chain, I told Fumei I looked like a male stripper, I got to wear a locket with a picture of my daughter inside, which is nice of him, but one attendee got very touchy with me, and one thing with me, I do not like being touched by men, even my fellow male gang members and boss know this and ask first before placing their hands on me unless it’s for medical reasons, this one attendee even found out I was ticklish before Chris told him to back off, when he did it again, I took matters into my own hand and yelled “Don’t touch me!” in my native Cantonese, which is “唔好掂我! (Mh'hóu dihm ngóh)”, I only like being tickled by my sister or wife, no one else, childhood trauma, being hit on was a pain in the balls, but most of it was typically playful, but hard to tell at times.”

To Lei, I heard it was your daughter’s 5th birthday yesterday, what did you get her?

Lei: “We got several new qipao, a calligraphy set, some Pokémon plushies, a Nintendo Switch, which Maria is teaching her how to use and a toy phone, now, We set restrictions for the Switch.”

To Maria, why have you decided you wouldn’t return to Japan?

Maria: “Many reasons, one being Japan having more stricter gun laws than the states, even someone living a bastard’s life would find it difficult to settle in Japan, A lot of old-fashioned Japanese aren’t real fond of hāfu and American-raised Japanese and to them, I’m a “Twinkie”, yellow outside, white inside and a “gaijin’, not all old-fashioned Japanese, some kids there thought I was the coolest adult ever, I’ve even met a few old Japanese a few times, but I have no desire to stay in Japan, I told my uncle and grandpa to tell my cousins I died in a car crash and only want a select few to know, so, basically, I told them to put my death date as the day I ran away from home, December 5th 1997, I don’t think Kuyo and Hideki would like what I do now, I’ve learned he has a daughter and is married, don’t want them to find me, still alive and in a triad.”

To Lei, does Xiu-mei share any interests with her “aunts” and ”uncle”?

Lei: “She’s been watching Godzilla films with Maria, it turned out she actually liked them, She likes all the kaiju equally, her favorite films is Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster and Godzilla vs. Biollante, we did get her action figures but she doesn’t use them very often.”

To Lei, what happened after you killed Xiu-mei’s predator?

Lei: “I went away at 5 pm and didn’t get home until around 2 am, Me and Dongshun killed that bastard together slowly and painfully, I castrated him, severed his dick, he took 20 minutes to die, Dongshun stabbed him several times and even broke the guy’s nose, To ensure he died, I decapitated him with a knife, we took the knife home and I cleaned it off, it was quite dark so no one could see I was covered in blood, I dropped Dongshun off and he quickly changed into his pajamas and slept, while I made it back to the Black Heaven hideout, no one was up and I put my clothes in the washing machine and walked around the house naked to the bathroom, covered in blood when Fumei found me about to open the bathroom door, she heard the door open, I looked like something out of a horror film with my hair and body covered in blood, She quietly told me to take a shower and she’ll give me my pajamas, This isn’t the first time I did this, I actually got complaints from my fellow gang members about me walking around naked covered in blood, no matter how many times, I still do it.”

To Maria, Did any of the consles you had ever break?

Maria: “We went through four 360’s before settling with a newer model and me settling with a PS3, I got a special edition of the PS3 released for JoJo All-Star Battle for the release of the game in 2014 and it still works, The first 360 we had got the E74 error, I thought it was a glitch and it was glitching so badly that me and Longwei restarted the device, BAM!, E74 error, now we did get this fixed by my hand, but after a few weeks, It kept crashing, the next one we got lasted three days, three red lights, error code 0023, the third one got the E76 error after lightning hit our house during Feng’s birthday, it cut out when Feng restarted, E76, If Lei is to be believed, this is the result of a burnt network chip, we replaced it and later put a warning reading “Do not use in lightning”, This one became known as Old Dusty, he lasted several years, He later finally bit the dust after the RROD error 0002, We later got a newer model, I was like “fuck this” and ordered a PS3 JoJo ASB edition.”

To Lei, why did you buy Xiu-mei a COVID-19 plush toy?

Lei: I bought her the toy as a way to teach her about the virus and what’s about to happen during a pandemic. I do plays of the virus infecting other toys that don't wear masks and use hand sanitizer. This teaches her that unless we use safety precautions and wear masks, we can get the virus. I also see Xiu-mei refer to it as "Mr. Covid" and is the antagonist in her plays, but outside it, she treats it as any other plush toy and she says he’s “nice off-set” and “is willing to teach people how COVID-19 works”, basically with love and respect, Cells at Work! is basically Xiu-mei’s escapist route, she loved it before this crazy COVID-19 shit happened, but it’s now an escapist route for me and her, considering I got her the plush, she treats him with the same amount of love she gives anything given to her by me.

To Lei, what was your reaction to Xiu-mei’s hidden violent temper during your spat with the Georgia Family?

Lei: “A mix of shock, pride and trying hard not to burst into laughing, Sweet and innocent Xiu-mei beating another little girl’s ass for ripping her Cells at Work! manga, she’s very protective of her stuff, especially If I’m the one who gave her it, Reicheru thought it wasn’t appropriate to nickname my daughter after Dio Brando, considering who the character is, this wasn’t surprising but Xiu-mei said she liked it, the nickname stuck and if she does become a gang member, Dioko is an extremely likely moniker, Her actual personality is more like a Jonathan than a Dio.”

To Zhao, what annoys you about Lei?

Zhao: “If he comes home after a really bloody murder he committed around dark, specifically around midnight to 2am and is covered in blood including his hair, He strips himself naked and walks around, still covered in blood to the bathroom to take a shower to wash the blood out, I get annoyed at Lei for this, Let’s just say that every gang member who had the unfortunate time to wake up just to find Lei, naked and covered in blood and has seen him naked more times than probably his own wife.”

To Jiayi, how was your brother after he killed his daughter’s attempted molester?

Jiayi: “He was terrifying as hell, When Fumei told me when he came upstairs to take a shower, naked and covered in blood, he basically looked like something out of a horror movie and the fact he went to sleep peacefully after torturing that asshole for three whole hours, if Dongshun’s to be believed, they kidnapped him from his home, he was out on probation at the time, drove him to a secluded area and started beating him up, Mostly Lei, who had more of a role in torturing him, he stabbed his genitals, abdomen, slit his throat and stabbed him repeatedly, Boss was mostly upset with him walking around naked and covered in blood than the fact he went out and killed a guy without his knowledge.”

To Lei, rank all the albums of Cannibal Corpse.

Lei: From worst to best, it's Vile, Gallery of Suicide, Gore Obsessed, Kill, The Wretched Spawn, A Skeletal Domain, Bloodthirst, Red Before Black, Torture, Evisceration Plague, Eaten Back to Life, The Bleeding, Tomb of the Mutilated, and Butchered at Birth, I only hate one song from Tomb of the Mutilated and that’s Necropedophile, I listened to it, I hadn’t felt this disgusting since I was starving behind a building, the song I Cum Blood was kinda gross.”

To BE!Maria, rank the albums from the Ozzy era (from self-titled to "Never Say Die!", plus 13).

BE!Maria: From worse to best, it's Technical Ecstasy, 13, Never Say Die!, Sabotage, Vol. 4, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Black Sabbath, Paranoid, and Master of Reality. I didn't like Technical Ecstasy that much due to the futuristic vibe, but I was introduced to the band by Master of Reality, and I still have an emotional bond for it.

To Mila, will you ever play Pokémon Unite?

Mila: (writing down) “No, I like spin-offs but that, no, no, MOBA games to me are fucking boring as shit, I think the Pokémon Company needs to start researching before joining partnership, I’ll just stick with SWSH.“

To BE!Maria, are you gonna check out the new Deftones "Ohms" album?

BE!Maria: I don't listen to Deftones, but from what I've heard, they're a nu metal/alternative metal band who've made some of the best albums from those genres. I may go check it out, but nu metal isn't exactly my favorite genre.

Alright, so I listened to the album, and I was actually pretty impressed with the album overall. My three favorite tracks from it are Genesis, Radiation City, and The Spell of Mathematics. I might go check out their other albums in the future.

To BE!Maria, after your allergic reaction in 2009, did anyone try to comfort you?

BE!Maria: “Yes, Longwei and Liu Wei did, Longwei dressed up as Jotaro Kujo and Liu Wei up as DIO and pretended to have a stand fight, I was shut down until that.”

To Lei, did anyone judge you for being a sociopath and a parent?

Lei: “Yes, several people had, I’m a sociopath, not a narcissist.”

To Lei, would you want Xiu-mei to be in a gang?

Lei: No. While me and my wife are in a gang, we would much rather have our daughter not be part of it and instead get a good job. But should she ever join the gang, she'll likely take on "Dioko" as her nickname.

To Feng, Have you heard of open crotch pants?

Feng: “Yes, I fucking hated them, No one wants to see your penis and testicles or your bare ass in public, it’s unhygienic and indecent.”

To Longwei, did you have any funny stories in China?

Longwei: “Yeah, during the Nanjing Massacre Memorial Day, we book a hotel and stay on the 12th and leave on the 18th, On December 15th, I had a Chinese woman telling me I was ‘sexy’, with Maria in earshot, another one was a woman putting her hands through Lei’s hair, Now, Lei has long black hair much like his sister, one of them told him to do a striptease, so we basically had both genders hitting on us, On a more heartwarming note, A Chinese woman who spoke Japanese from her husband helped Satomi read parts she didn’t understand.”

To Zhao, why the name ‘Black Heaven’?

Zhao: “Hm.....If you think about it, Maria, Joseph, Liu Wei, Takeshi, Mi-Yung, Devi, Bopha, Mila and Tanisha are basically ‘fallen angels’, Lei and Jiayi, Longwei, Satomi and Feng were ‘demons’ since birth, The term fallen angel, they weren’t originally from the dregs of society but fell into it because of the hell people put them through, while the twins, Longwei, Satomi and Feng were already corrupted.”

To Lei, if you and your family got the COVID-19 vaccine, would you be able to go out like normal?

Lei: Getting the vaccine would mean our family would be able to go out without worrying about getting sick. However, we will still need to wear a mask, because you never know who got vaccined and who didn't, and you still got some conspiracy theorists who think COVID-19 doesn't exist and/or is government propaganda. This pandemic won't be over until we're all vaccined.

To Lei, can you tell us a bit about Jacob?

Lei: “Sure, Jacob was basically one of my friends from high school from the same year, he got kicked out during senior year for destroying the principal’s car after he got in trouble due to the zero tolerance policy for defending a female classmate from a perverted senior student, He invited me and my sister to his home and when he saw how hungry I was, He decided it was best to make me food right now instead of waiting, I felt like I was going to burst, his mom’s cooking was that good, we did listen to death and black metal, he even got me some CDs for me and Jiayi’s 33rd birthday.”

To Maria, did you or the gang ever play Team Fortress 2? Maria: “Yes, yes, a million times yes, Mi-Yung mains the Medic and she’s actually pretty good at it, She can’t actually hear voices, but she does threaten teammates not to overuse the E button as it overwhelms her, The twins typically main the Spy while on opposite sides, we once had a battle of the sexes, guys versus girls, I typically main the Sniper, Usually all sorts of shit happens, one time when Lei was 25, Jiayi took a picture of Lei masturbating wearing only a turtleneck sweater and his Jība dàn and qiú dài on display or us nude or in suggestive positions, this basically used as a distraction if it’s used by males since Lei is pretty damn attractive, sexy pics of us is basically used by both sides, even if Fumei is on the team, she’s a little bemused by Lei’s turtleneck picture, Yeah, the computers we own often contain porno of us that we use on the maps.”

To Maria, have you forgiven Mark Slater for what he did to you?

Maria: Sort of. I'm still pissed as fuck at him for touching my breasts. However, he did admitted in his entitled parent story that it was a bad idea, but then defended it by saying I looked hot. I honestly won't be surprised if he got charged for sexually assault. He also did sided with me and Lei for ending our friendship with Hope Plank after she smashed a Deicide CD Lei's deceased friend gave him. I did saw a post on his Twitter saying that he wishes to start a new term with me and hope to be friends, and I kinda wish the same as well. I just don't feel ready to give Mark another chance yet.

Lei: I can see why that is. That boy not only tormented my daughter with his black metal albums, but he also called me a J*p and demanded I buy him a new boombox like a fucking Karen. I doubt we'd forgive each other truly, seeing how he still hates me for it, but I just want him to move on. While destroying his boombox wasn't exactly the best idea in hindsight, Mark didn't have to call me a J*p when I'm Macau-Chinese.

To Lei, out of your victims, who is the absolute worst?

Lei: “A literal necropedophile and killer...... And this is why I hate the song "Necropedophile" by Cannibal Corpse, though I still love that band. This happened in 2018, This man kidnapped four children and killed three ......I don’t honestly remember what my client, one of the victims’ mother told me, the surviving victim survived with broken kneecaps, I let the bastard have it, I broke his bones and everything, the Neo Nazi I killed in 2016 is the second worse, he raped that poor woman then killed her.”

To Zhao, Do any of your underlings drink? And have you drunk before?

Zhao: “Maria, Tanisha, Lei, Jiayi, Liu Wei, and Longwei, Both Jiayi and Lei just prefer to drink wine, Maria has a pretty good alcohol tolerance, Longwei gets drunk a lot. I don't personally drink though.”

To Lei, Does Jiayi have a favorite game?

Lei: “Final Fantasy, I think she likes Sephiroth though because he’s in her words, a “fucking hottie”.”

To Lei, were you shocked when Mila struck her dad?

Lei: “Mila, for a start, yes, but another thing is, She’s devoutly loyal to Zhao and if she told me if this gang got exposed and caught, she said to me she would rather die with the gang than go back to her parents in Hong Kong, She’s unrepentant to the end, The fact that bastard accused me of being a rapist and Zhao of being a child molester didn’t suit well with her.”

To Maria, why the paramilitary-esque gang uniforms?

Maria: “It’s to look more professional to other gangs, They’re weren’t gonna take an old man with street punks seriously, Longwei and Devi designed the uniforms.”

To Lei, do you like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network?

Lei: I like them a lot, and it's a company me and my family support. At least ASAN doesn't support a "therapy center" that fucking tortures special needs kids...

To Lei, do you use hashtags like #redinstead and #autismacceptance instead of #lightitupblue and #autismawareness?

Lei: Yep. As I've and others have stated before, we do not support those fucking jackasses at Autism Speaks.

To Lei, do you like the rainbow infinity symbol as a symbol for autism?

Lei: I haven't seen it yet, but from what I've heard, it's a good symbol.

To Adil, How do you get along with Feng?

Adil: “Well.....He’s nice to me....he even keeps my little sister safe.....He told me he was fooling around with poison and managed to piss off the cops and CCP at the same time.”

To Lei, how was Adil when he first joined?

Lei: “He was quite eager to eat, His table manners were worse than when I was his age....Can’t say I blame him, he probably starved himself so his sister could eat, He won’t touch pork or anything, he doesn’t like it and neither his sister, he somewhat calmed down after a week, we introduced him to McDonalds, which is someone we don’t usually have, He liked hamburgers.”

To Lei, What was the worst mail you’ve ever gotten?

Lei: “The grandmother of that necropedo I killed who’s basically an old Karen sent us Harmoniashipping porn and the game over screens from A Personal Nightmare with the words “YOU NEXT, YOU KILLED MY SWEET GRANDSON”, she also sent us a dead pigeon.....Fucking disgusting, If you want to know what Harmoniashipping, if Mila is to be believed, It’s ship art focusing on N and Ghetsis, It’s basically incest.....Disgusting as fuck.....Thankfully, My daughter didn’t see the porn.”

To Jiayi, does Lei have favorite TV shows?

Jiayi: “Criminal Minds, He likes that one, Sometimes Xiu-mei will come in and watch it, He won’t watch the episode "Mosley Lane" if Xiu-mei is around.”

To Fumei, does Xiu-mei like Steven Universe or Gravity Falls?

To Maria, what are your thoughts on Halloween?

To Lei, can Xiu-mei and Akara go trick-or-treating?

Lei: “Yeah, they just can’t bring coconuts home.”

To Jiayi, did you or your brother ever see a mental health psychologist?

Jiayi: “No, Lei refuses to see a therapist, He said to me the last therapist at our second foster home he was at made him feel like it was his fault for being mentally ill, Lei had serious mental health issues from his childhood and adolescence, He said that Xiu-mei, Fumei and me restrain him from harming himself or anyone he loves, Kuíqīsī is a good cat for mental health, he just sits on Lei’s lap.”

To Adil, what do you think of Pokémon UNITE?

Adil: “I...don’t really play MOBA games, it took me a while to know that Tencent only distributes Pokémon in China, My sister likes it....It helped her open up more, she!s planning to attend elementary school once we get our citizenship and passports.”

To Devi, how old are you, Bopha and Akara?

To Fumei, did Lei need help when Xiu-mei was a baby?

Funei: “A lot of it, Bopha helped him, even giving him useful tips like not shaking Xiu-mei if she won’t stop crying, and Bopha had to explain Shaken Baby Syndrome to him and me, he seemed to understand it, One thing I noticed if Lei is in anger, he actually will ask Devi to hold Xiu-mei for him, take a few deep breaths in the bathroom and go downstairs to hold Xiu-mei, He instantly calms around her, Xiu-mei’s first words were “Daddy”, He is quite happy to see his daughter since before the pandemic, me and him didn’t live together, but....I’m happy he is taking a part in our daughter’s life.”

To Lei, Does Xiu-mei play games on your phone?

Lei: “She plays Pokémon Masters EX, I turn off the microtransactions, I decided to stop playing due to how.....kinda shit the game was......After several updates, I found Xiu-mei playing it, she had greatly improved my sync pairs, got several event-exclusive sync pairs, and greatly improved it, at first, I thought I’d explode....but I was really happy....And she’s not technology-raised, sometimes the other gang members will play with her.”

To Lei, how many older autistic kids have you seen?

To Lei and Fumei, do Xiu-mei and Suzie get along?

To Lei, why didn't you try to get help when you and Jiayi were abused by Jennifer, Gareth, and Penelope?

Lei: As much as me and my sister should've gotten help in hindsight, we just couldn't. Me and Jiayi got it bad, but I got shat on more as they would starve me for days all because I didn't bought that heifer Penelope the right clothes. Gareth in particular threatened to cut off my balls if I told anyone what was going on, and he especially loathed me after I had supposedly "raped" Penelope, even though she faked it just because I annoyed her. Teachers and students knew what was going on with me and wanted to report them to CPS, but I begged them not to.

Jiayi: If the previous incidents didn't make Lei crazy, then it was the trio of devils that made him the sociopath as he is today. It's also why he's hard to trust, because he doesn't want to go through another shitty foster family.

To Adil, what are your thoughts on heavy metal?

Adil: It's not exactly my cup of tea. I do enjoy listening to traditional Uyghur folk music though. And yes, I am aware that I wear a shirt for a death metal band named Deicide for my casual wear. Lei gave it to me since he likes the band, and I'll admit that the shirt does look cool.

To the gang, how many families have you encountered?

To the gang, do you like the Keenes excluding the homophobic Mr. Areslutsand***s?

To Lei and Devi, what kind of family-friendly Halloween movies have you watached?

To Lei, what clothing Feng wears as casual wear?

Lei: “Shirts made by a company called Ink Poisoning Apparel, One he has is one with a parody of the Flavor Aid sachet with references to the Jonestown massacre, Which is pretty fucked up and we don’t allow Feng to wear it when he’s in public, he wears it as a pajama top.”

To Lei, Did you know anyone from high school who got suspended?

Lei: “A guy in my year got expelled for dressing up as Jim Jones for Halloween for the school’s annual Halloween party, He and his girlfriend who was in a Kool-Aid shirt who was like ‘the fuck...?’ the whole time went around handing grape-flavored Kool Aid to everyone at the party and spoke about ‘revolutionary suicide’, It was fucked up but it was hilarious, but still fucked up, His mom tore him a new asshole in front of everyone, and I’m just sitting there drinking the Kool-Aid because I was thirsty...Jacob actually told me about the Jonestown massacre and we read books on it.....One other guy a year higher than me got suspended for dressing up as Hitler, Turned out one of the teachers was a Holocaust survivor and sadly, It wasn’t funny....”

To BE!Maria and Lei how did the intervention with Hope Plank go?

Lei: A lot better than I expected. With Hope's resisting attitude, though, I'm not sure if we truly got through with her.

BE!Maria: Still, I hope the intervention we and her family had was a wake up call that Hope is going too damn far with her antics. I mean, how low do you have to go to mock the death of a deceased musician because you hate the band that fucking much? I completely snapped when I saw her AITA story about it and she was downplaying it as a joke and telling people who were offended by it to "get a life". Like others have said, this is exactly what Princess Starlight would've done.

To Lei, if you weren’t atheist, what religion would you have?

Lei: “Theistic Satanism, I have zero respect for the God of Abrahamic religions, I’m fine with Adil and Patime’s Islam and Kelly’s Christianity....but me, I can’t forgive a god who would allow me to be born into an abusive home and used all my childhood from 3 to 11 years old, then be sent to an abusive foster home with hardly any food or not enough to keep me going....Some of this is why I relate to Deicide and just about every black metal band with Satanic themes. I REFUSE to worship something that allowed my life to be shit and let me and my sister be born to an abusive father.”

To Lei, what was the most difficult kill you ever had?

Lei: Easily the one where me, Jiayi, Fumei, and BE!Maria were off to kill some extreme Fundamentalist parents and their assfuck of a pastor. The client was some kid who said that his parents, mainly his father, constantly abused him and brainwashed him in an attempt to get him into this fucked up religion. The final straw came when his mother found his secret box that contained the Satanic Bible, DVDs of some anime and VeggieTales (that, plus the anime, were the only shows he enjoyed against the propaganda shows his parents and the church forced him to watch), and some CDs to Slayer's "Hell Awaits" and Cancer's "Death Shall Rise". The parents were livid, and burned all of the items as well as the box to nothing but ashes. When he came home from the church-ran Christian school, they went fucking psycho on him. The dad in particular just used his fists to beat him to the pulp. He got two of his bones broken, and some of the bruises and scars were permanent, and he showed us them as proof that he wasn't lying. God they were brutal. They then dragged him to the church of this corrupted Pope who was wanted in another state for child sexual abuse, where he'd perform an exorcist on him. This included pouring olive oil on him, including on the injuries, and even beating him up with a wooden paddle. When all was said and done, the father dragged him to his room, punched him some more, and locked him in the room with nothing but a Bible. Despite the injuries, he somehow got out of there and got help from the neighbors, who had no idea of the extent of the abuse until now. Despite everything going against those shitsacks of parents, the church used all of their money to hire the best lawyers in town and they got out of serving any jailtime. The client later told us that this incident in particular got him to convert to Theistic Satanism, destroy any love he had left for his parents and Christianity in general, and wanted nothing more but his parents and his pastor dead.

BE!Maria: The killing itself was intense. When we broke into the house in our paramilitary gear, the dad just went absolutely nuts for our break-in and appearance and chewed us out on how we're all going to hell and that we needed to convert to their crazy religion immediately. The mother then tried to restrain us to the ground, but Jiayi stabbed her in the back. The dad even tried to shoot Lei with the gun, and he barely dodged it in time. Long story short, we ended up killing them by stabbing them to death. Lei in particular carved out the words "FALSE CHRISTIANS" and "CHILD ABUSERS" on both of their backs. When we got to the priest, I kid you not, we saw him looking up some vile lolicon ero guro. When he saw us, he threw a dagger at us, which we dodged, and called us "c***k cunts" who would rot in hell along with Hirohito. Lei went ballistic and kicked him in the nuts before carving out his eyes and slicing off his dick. We also broke his bones before slitting his throat and killing him. Lei also carved a pentagram, an inverted cross, and "PEDO PRIEST" on his back. Lei later recalled that the priest was right up there with the pedofuck that nearly assaulted his daughter and the literal necropedophile as the worst people he's ever come across...

To Lei, Fumei and Xiu-mei, do you guys like Steven Universe?

To Xiu-Mei, do you like Dora the Explorer?

To Lei, why do you hate people who infantilize child abuse survivors as adults?

Lei: “Because these survivors aren’t kids anymore…In simple terms, they treat them like they can’t think for themselves, I actually had people treat me like that, It’s like they treat every adult who’s survived child abuse like they’re N from Pokémon, Now, I play Masters EX, and the thing is, I can’t relate to N other than the interests in math and intelligence, N grew up in a nice castle surrounded by toys like my daughter, his sisters and even though Ghetsis is a dick, At least he raised him from childhood and provided him, Qing-lai is is a piece of cowshit who scarred his two children for life, He forced us to kill animals and later on, a human man for his own thrill, I guess the Stephensons were a break from all that horrible abuse I had prior but…I was far too fucked up for them.”

To Devi and Bopha, what kind of shows and movies does Akara watch?

To Devi, Bopha, Lei and Fumei, do you have any plans for Halloween 2021?

To Jiayi, is Raymond still kicked out of the base?

To Jiayi, what was also up with Qing-lai?

Jiayi: “I have this belief he was a pedophile, He was attracted to skinny women who looked very young, our mom was 17 when she was brutally raped and he would make inappropriate remarks about her while me and Lei were growing up…he told me once I was old enough, he would marry me off to one of his friends at 18…who ran a pedo ring before he was sent to jail…”

To Lei, have you listened to war metal?

Lei: Yep. I'm been getting addicted to that genre lately, with some of my favorite bands being Blasphemy, Black Witchery, Revenge, Conqueror, Proclamation, Diocletian, Goatpenis, Beherit, and Archgoat.

To Zhao, Can you explain the design of the uniforms worn by the gang?

Zhao: "They convey stoicism and easy movement, also 'we'll resort to force if necessary'."

To Lei, what was Adil's reaction to the UK-based Uyghur Tribunal finding that China has been committing genocide against the Uyghur people?

Lei: "Even though it was unofficial, Him and a Uyghur female friend of his began exclaiming about this, He exclaimed that 'it will be a memorable day for the Uyghur people and today will be known as 'Remembrance of Victims of the CCP Day' while his friend exclaimed 'That's right!'."

To Adil, do you do scams and other forms of conning?

Adil: "Yes, the gang has recently dabbled into scamming techniques. Now, for this story, we tricked a Chinese Communist Party official who sent my parents to that camp to think we kidnapped his 17-year old daughter, who attended the high school I attended after I got my permanent citizenship. The girl doesn't actually give a shit about what happens in China and is just a spoiled girl who is spoiled rotten by her father and is not even grateful for what her father buys for her. We used a convincing lookalike who was actually 30 and a member of another gang. She even had a baby I helped looked after. She was the correct height and build, it required a lot of makeup. She even cut her hair to look like the daughter and even practiced the way she spoke because turned out she was actually born in Hong Kong and of Japanese descent. I actually thought she was Gui-ying until after the scam. The next is that Lei had his hair tied back and wore paramilitary gear aswell as Longwei. We pretended to be members of a nonexistent Chinese liberation paramilitary organization and demanded him $110,000,000. In Chinese yuan, that would be about 701,294,000. It took a lot of work, but it was fucking worth it!"

Lei: "I love how after he paid us, his daughter threw a tantrum after her father couldn't buy her a new designer coat because he's basically broke. I heard he had to sell half of her stuff just to get some of the money back. That scam helped us sort out our Christmas that year and sorted out the next years."

To Lei and Fumei, does Xiu-mei watch The 1998 Powerpuff Girls and the original Teen Titans?

Lei: Yes. She prefers the original PPG and TT over the new ones.

To Lei, has Xiu-mei played Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach?

Lei: No. She isn't allowed to play any FNAF games due to the jumpscares and graphic content. She does own a bunch of FNAF plushies from that game. She's particulary fond of her Glamrock Chica and Roxanne Wolf plushies, though she doesn't like the latter's narcassistic personality.

To Lei and BE!Maria, what are your thoughts on Santa Inc.?

Lei: Fuck. That. Show. I mean, besides the SJW shit and cringey humor, the characters were a bore, and the plot was absolutely ass! And don't even get me started on Seth Rogen's comment on the hate, which he quoted, "We really pissed off tens of thousands of white supremacists with our new show #SantaInc which is now available on HBOMAX!" Just, why? Now, I don't hate Seth Rogen or anything, and I did enjoy the films Superbad and The Interview, but this show was just horrible. Xiu-mei is also not allowed to see this show due to its graphic nature.

BE!Maria: However, on Episode 6 where Candy loses the spot for Santa to Devin, Santa revealed to her that the reason why he picked him instead of her was because he was good with children, and that while he would be the face for Santa Inc., it was Candy that would do most of the work. Now, his speech was pretty good, and I thought that this show was gonna get good. However, Candy just tells Santa to fuck himself, and then, it's revealed that Santa was the villain! I can't believe that they had the oppurtunity to make the show good, and in the end, it turned out to be shit! And yeah, that tweeit about pissing off the "white supremacists" was just tacky at best and terrible at worst.

To BE!Maria, what are your thoughts on High Guardian Spice?

BE!Maria: The critics were right. This show was absolutely shit. I don't even have much to say about it because it was so goddamn forgettable.

To Lei, what are your thoughts on what's happening with MamaMax right now?

To BE!Maria, who was the worst teacher in high school?

BE!Maria: "The religious studies teacher. I kid you not, it was like she had an entire tree stuck up her ass. She refused to let a boy in my class use the bathroom because he told her he didn't need it beforehand, and when he finally admitted he needed the bathroom, she refused to let him go, telling him that 'Jesus doesn't like liars'. The poor boy ended up wetting himself in class after he held it in for over an hour. A guy ended up having to take him out of the classroom so he could change to some spare pants, since that kid was more prone to frequent urination and had a kidney defect. None of us laughed. If anything, we were just repulsed at the teacher for being such a religious bitch that she would disregard others. She even had a knack for trying to convert the atheist students to her religion. She was eventually fired after assaulting a student for attacking Christianity. The kid was Jewish."

To Lei, What else did Penelope did that damaged her reputation?

Lei: "She made fun of a girl in our year with a genetic incurable heart condition that took the life of her father and older brother. She died in what would have been my senior year after collapsing in class. Her brother flipped his shit when he found out all of the abuse her sister endured and punched Penelope, leading to her demanding a month later that Gareth and Jennifer see the guy and get revenge, only to be told he died in hospital. Penelope disrupted an tribute of remembrance ceremony that took place outside and even made bullshit lies about him, including a rape accusation that was proven to be false. Another was when she called a cancer patient a 'bald whore'... She really is an ableist cunt."

To Adil, who was the popular kid that became an outcast in your school?

Adil: "The senior cheerleader and the star footballer. The senior cheerleader nearly killed a girl during a hazing ritual by spreading peanut butter on her face, even though she had a severe peanut allergy. She almost died, and her parents pressed charges against the cheerleader's parents. I didn't see her for weeks. As for the footballer, well, he harassed a cancer patient and accused her of being a racist skinhead. She was wearing her older brother's jacket, but he still refused to listen to reason from the girl's father and brother. He was half-black, and the girl and her family were Israeli-German. Another I know was kicked out of school and shunned after he raped a junior."

To Lei, what is one character you refuse to cosplay as?

Lei: "N from Pokémon. All I gotta say is, never fucking again. This happened when my daughter was 18 months old,. My wife went as a Neo Plasma grunt since Fumei does cosplay as a hobby and she makes these beautiful cosplays, while my daughter wore a Pikachu onesie that she made. I used temporary tea green hair dye. Now, I know why people hate N's shitty fanbase, since I got harassed by a couple of girls who asked me very disturbing questions and even got ahold of my phone number and sent me links to N rape fics and even Harmoniashipping hentai. The worst one was a fanfic where Ghetsis rapes a ten year old N for going outside. God, that was vile as shit! Now, I would like to point out that these girls disregarded my boundaries while I was at the convention. I got shown pornographic fanart when I was trying to feed my daughter, as well as asking my wife if she was Ghetsis' sex slave and asked her if she would fuck N. Don't ask me why, but she was put off cosplaying a Team Plasma grunt for a year. The worst thing they asked me if I was a shota and raped by my father when I was little! That shit made me furious, especially since I came from an abusive home. They got so bad, security had to be called and we went home early. I was left very disturbed by my encounter with those four. I later found out that one the girls was on a sex offenders registration for the attempted rape of a 15-year old boy. I don't do Ghetsis cosplaying either because I don't want to take any chances with N's batshit insane fangirl posse."

To Lei, can you give us examples of Penelope’s ableism?

Lei: “She believes autistics, the mentally ill like myself and the physically disabled belong in group homes and institutions. We had a girl in our class with cerebral palsy, who was a very sweet girl, but Penelope ranted to the teacher when she got a higher grade that she was stupid and probably was cheating. Another thing that happened early on in the year was I found out she was being tried for assault and got fires from her job for ripping off a a co-worker’s hearing aids because she thought it was ‘unprofessional’. She even refused to listen to advice from a mental health professional! Yeah, she’s an ableist bitch.”

To Lei, I made a fanfic where I sent Hope Plank to jail, but my friends in this wiki didn't like it. Why?

Lei: “(sighs) You know, you'd think this would go without saying, but Garfield, since you seem to be a complete dumbass who doesn't know shit, let me make this perfectly clear: Rape and victim blaming is NOT fucking funny! Why in the actual FUCK did you bother asking me this? You’re asking a guy who’s sister was nearly raped and got victim blamed by our shitty foster family. You’re basically to kids what PETA is to animals…”

To Lei, which gangs are the lowest hierarchy in the underbelly?

Lei: “Really scummy people. I ended up having to kill in an entire familial cult other than the victims. Basically, they indulged in rape and torture when the girl turned 10 and then she was married off when she turned 18. These assholes, especially the patriarch who raped his own granddaughter and showed zero remorse said that it was his right. According to someone who left the family, it was a ‘generations-long tradition’ and they tortured girls to make them compliant. There are also a lot of pedophile rings. Feng decided to get back with one of the rings and snuck in their headquarters to lace their drinks and snacks with cyanide and arsenic. All members who drank and ate the poison died. Another are those who kill animals.”

To Lei, what do you think about Davian Louis?

Lei: I think he's pretty cool, but when he wanted to join our gang, I had to decline his offer. He was upset at first, but he eventually got over it. We're getting along pretty well now.

To Lei, how many kindergarten and first grade classes did Xiu-mei go through?

Lei: “Two kindergarten classes and three first grade classes. One of her kindergarten teachers and her first teacher in elementary was a misandrist who absolutely loathed men. She first segregated students by gender and gave the girls more playtime, while punished the boys for talking too loudly or laughing and parents complained about these punishments. She couldn’t keep her fucking bias to herself and gave the female students higher grades. It was so bad, she ended up getting fired when me and Kelly compared Xiu-mei and James’ worksheets. I actually caught her in the act when I told Xiu-mei to fail her math test on purpose. I actually had to explain her teacher was sexist and she actually understood. She purposefully fucked up her answers like writing the incorrect number or spelling a word incorrectly. This happened over the course of five days and me and Kelly went in to show the principal the worksheets.”

To Maria, have you heard of weeaboos?

Maria: “Yes, and holy shit they’re the absolute fucking worst! Now, Takeshi was actually FUCKING STALKED by one of those people. He works part time at a comic book shop. Back in 2014, this weeb did all sorts of things that would piss off everyone you can think of. The policy is that restricted manga like yaoi, yuri, and hentai in general are shrink-wrapped and are NOT to be sold to anyone under the age of 18. A parent would probably be pissed if we sold their kid what is basically manga porn. This bitch, however, was at least 16, and she actually tried to buy 15 yaoi mangas and a few copies of Battle Royale. A friend of his got sick and I filled in as a temporary worker.”

To Maria and Lei, why do you guys say "Now" a lot?

Maria: Now, it's a nice way to open up on sentences as well as give some context.

Lei: I think we should just say "now" with every chance we get to piss off these people, because I'm seeing more complaints on the fact that we constantly use "now" to start off our sentence.

To Lei, If Adil’s having issues in school, who comes to the school?

Lei: “Me, Fumei, and sometimes the boss. The boss passes off as his grandfather. The most awkward thing the boss had to deal with because there’s an anime club at the school and one of the weeaboos in the club brought in a pornographic yaoi manga and a hentai DVD and shared it with the others including Adil. It was on for 40 minutes until the teacher walked in. The girl’s parents were called in, and at the end, she got expelled after several others including Adil testified.”

To Lei, does Xiu-mei attend a Chinese-American group?

Lei: “Yes, but the major issue is that several of the kids who immigrated from China with their parents, some of whom were extremely wealthy and are only children like Xiu-mei.They have this thing called ‘little emperor syndrome’, and one of the boys was very bossy and he was used to having servants he bossed around, and my daughter has a limit when she stops forgiving someone. Now Xiu-mei is thankfully not a little emperor, and many of the kids including her did not take this well. My daughter does NOT like being bossed around by other children, especially those the same age as her, and many of the kids including her refused to speak to him. Xiu-mei even pushed him when he tried to snatch her Switch out of her hands.”

To Longwei, what do you think of Paul Fleming?

Longwei: “He should've fucking died. I hate him. Devi and Lei also fucking despise him.”

To Fumei, do you and Lei plan on having another child?

Fumei: Ergh, not right now. We're perfectly fine as it is with a family of three, and keep in mind that Lei is a diagnosed sociopath. Xiu-mei was an illegitimate child for a month. We don’t know how Lei will handle a second child mentally, and our bosses would prefer it if we didn’t have a second child.

To Lei, What do you think of Dhar Mann videos?

Lei: “He does his best to spread a positive message, but I can’t relate to his videos, especially if the villain in it is a toxic lowlife and others FORGIVE them despite fucking everything. I can’t relate to shit like that. Qing-lai had no sob story or no motivation, and is just a cruel asshole. The second thing i that his video logic does NOT fucking work in real life, especially when killing people is your job like me. My abusive childhood will not give me ‘plead for forgiveness’ rights. A Dhar Mann video isn’t going to get me to turn my life around, nor would it get me to apologize to my victim’s family. My least favorite episodes are the ones with horrible parents and how you should forgive them. I can never forgive a cruel, disgusting, vile pedophile and ephebophile who raped my mother and treated me and my sister more like a tool and a weapon rather than a living human person. Dhar Mann does his best job to deliver positive messages, and I can respect that, but the aesop puts me off.”

To Mi-Yung, do you have friends with other Korean gang members?

Mi-Yung: (signing) “There was a Korean man in the same gang as Han-Gyeol. His name is Lee Gwi-han He was originally from South Korea alongside his 12-year old daughter and wife. His elder daughter, who was 16, was gangraped by five boys from her high school. She ended up dying from complications as a result of the rape and since the boys were all 16-17. Korean law basically gave them a slap on the wrist. He ended up killing them all and got prison until his wife broke him out, he only has one eye, the other had to be surgically taken out due being stabbed in the eye by the eldest of his daughter’s rapists when he tried to defend himself. He’s the most hardened bastard I ever met. His English isn’t good, but he gets help from his wife and daughter, who are amazing people. They’re still affected by the loss of their daughter and buy her gifts on her birthday, which is November 18th.”

Lei: “The guy’s pretty intimidating. Like, he once broke his daughter’s rapist’s fucking neck! Xiu-mei used to find him scary until she saw him having his nails done by his daughter and watching a BTS music video with her.”

To Lei, how long have you been friends with Jacob and Davian?

To BE!Maria, what are your thoughts of the accusations of Raya and the Last Dragon doing a poor job at being a representation of Southeastern Americans.

BE!Maria: While I'm half-Japanese and half-white myself, doing some research on Southeastern Asian culture shows that the movie came off more like virtue signaling rather than a genuine passion for said culture, and that kind of sucks, especially since they were able to properly represent Hispanic and Latino culture in Encanto. Here's to me hoping they can actually represent Japanese culture right in a future movie of theirs.

To Joseph, How did Francesca’s pregnancy go?

Joseph: “It went well, although Francesca was in pain later into pregnancy, but it was worth it. Lei and Devi helped me and their wives helped Francesca, Sa-rang, named after my mom was healthy. Lei also helped a lot, and I even had to learn about childcare for fathers that also included shaken baby syndrome.”

To Zhao, how did you meet Choi Gyeo-ul?

Zhao: “In March 2022, she was wearing a school uniform with a bloodied fox mask. Now, she had some rather poor English, and Gyeo-ul was unwilling to trust me because she thought I was a cop. It made sense, becayse there was a report over a serial killer schoolgirl who murdered five people back in her native South Korea, including four boys and a teacher, but she needed a bath and looked filthy. She wore a uniform covered in blood and dirt. She was named Kumiho by the media because she wore a fox mask.”

Gyeo-ul: “I’m... not used to working in a crime gang... I told him my victims were awful... four rapists, and a shitty teacher who was no help... Fucking Korean law... the teacher didn’t care. I slit their throats with a smile...”

To Gyeo-ul, what do the other gang members think of your K-pop obsession?

Gyeo-ul: Most of them prefer heavy metal, but they respect my music tastes... I got into K-pop back in my native country... BTS in particular helped me a lot while I was fleeing the country... Most of them are grateful... I’m not one of those people to tell others if ‘they didn’t stan insert K-pop band, they would have lived." I also like SEVENTEEN and EXO...

Lei: “Despite the fact she’s killed five fucking people and probably many more and has a guaranteed bloodlust, her interests are like that of a normal Korean high schoolgirl with her having an interest in K-Pop, romance dramas and even magazines. When I watched Korean shows like All Of Us Are Dead and Squid Game with her, she showed NO interest despite the fact she’s a fucking serial killer. Now, these are shows I watch but she doesn’t like them. There was a plotline in All Of Us Are Dead about a bullied schoolgirl who had nude pictures taken of her and this seems to have affected her. Now, she doesn’t mind us watching it as she told me ‘I’m not your mom, watch whatever the fuck you like.’ I honestly think she’s steering away from sex and violence so she can heal properly with people who understand and care for her deeply, which makes sense.”

To BE!Maria, what are your thoughts on Blazebirth Hall?

BE!Maria: They have some incredible music, but I wish they weren't infested by a bunch of neo-Nazi dumbfucks. Forest might be my favorite band of the circle, especially with the albums "Like a Blaze Above the Ashes", "Foredooming the Hope for Eternity", and "As a Song in the Harvest of Grief", but even Forest ended up becoming shit with their final album "In the Flame of Glory", as that album became NSBM and dropped the atmospheric parts.

To Zhao, did you get Gyeo-ul therapy?

Zhao: “Yes. We took her to a group therapy who helped violence and sexual abuse survivors. The therapist was very patient with her. I explained the story of her. She tried to stop me there because she worried the therapist would report her to the cops because we have a belief her death toll is higher than 5, but she settled very quickly when the therapist told her it's confidential. One of the people attending was a 18-year old North Korean defector who ran away with his sister who was three years younger than him when he was 14, so she is 15 now. Both parents were dead in North Korea. He was nervous and was on the run for it. He was taken under Han-Gyeol’s wing. There was a small handful of North Koreans in a South Korean predominant gang. His name was Lee Hang-il and his sister Lee Na-young, who was also sworn in.”

Gyeo-ul: “I like Hang-il. He’s a sweet boy to a poor girl like me.”

To BE!Maria, have you checked out Mr. Enter's latest review on "Out of Jimmy's Head"?

BE!Maria: No, but I might check it out since I've heard people say it's a good review.

To Zhao, was there any rules when dealing with Gyeo-ul?

Zhao: “Yes. For a time being, I prohibited men including her male gang members from her room until she trusted her male fellow gang members enough. They can interact, but they can’t be in her bedroom. We did plan to ban anything violent and sexually explicit until Gyeo-ul shut that down. She didn’t want her horrifying experience being used against anyone and didn’t want to restrict anyone’s freedom. She said just because she doesn’t like watching those shows doesn’t mean we should ban others, and if a dude is entering the base, I actually have to put a multi language sign on her door reading “NO MEN ALLOWED/남성은 허용되지 않습니다/不允許男性/男性は許可されていません/ھېچقانداق ئەر رۇخسەت قىلىنمايدۇ/Không có đàn ông nào được phép/មិនអនុញ្ញាតបុរសទេ។”, especially if visitors are present.

To Jiayi, what makes your twin brother so terrifying?

Jiayi: “When he’s killing people. He has two modes: murderous and violent rage then... nothing. He feels absolutely nothing like he’s a killer robot. Qing-lai did even tell us we were nothing but tools. He felt nothing when killing Sam Leong. Being forced to kill him is something me and him will regret, even though Lei feels regret about it, he says he feels ‘nothingness’ like nothing can get him to feel about him, including grief, anger and sadness... He’s even watched documentaries with extremely dark and violent subject matter before Xiu-mei was born to get him to react to something, like feel sadness and anger, but nothing worked. To this day, Lei watching a Harold Shipman documentary freaks me out because of his lack of emotion when watching it like he’s intently focused on all of it. When he killed Qing-lai, he had this extremely sadistic nature. Lei was always sadistic when it came to killing and torture, but when he killed that piece of cowshit, tt was like watching a toddler playing with a new toy when he tore his teeth out, dunked him in water, and ripped his fingernails out. Me and him broke his bones, stabbed him repeatedly and when he was finally done, slit his throat.”

To Zhao, what was Lei’s reaction to the media comparing Xiu-mei to Gudrun Himmler?

Zhao: “Disgusted that the media would compare an innocent girl to a fucking Neo Nazi…”

To Lei, what was the most embarrassing moment that happened to someone you know?

Lei: “Me and a friend were doing a Holocaust presentation in high school. I was sick from hunger the day the presentation happened so he did most of it. He unintentionally got sources from anti-Semitic websites and Stormfront, and he accidentally turned it into a Holocaust denial presentation. This was an issue because he didn’t even learn about the Holocaust until now and he assumed it was a story. One of the sites even claimed the Holocaust didn’t happen and I had to be called in to class after I felt better. I had to meet with people from the Anti-Defamation League and synagogues to be taught about antisemitism and even had a projector presentation on how not to be anti-Semitic, though a rabbi did came into my defense to say that I was out for that day and that I couldn't have been responsible. That didn't matter anyway, as me and my friend got two weeks lunchtime detention despite the fact I was ill when the presentation was made. Not exactly a good idea when you’re constantly hungry...”

To Lei, what was the first anime Gyeo-ul has watched?

Lei: “Pokémon, she just came in one day and sat down while me and Xiu-mei were watching it, I think she wanted to watch a K-Drama or something, but she requested she wanted to watch another episode, we then decided to get her a Nintendo Switch imported from South Korea and SWSH with their DLC to get her started, her favorite Pokémon is Vulpix.”

To Lei, do you remember the Columbine High School massacre?

Lei: “Yes. I was 14 at the time and a freshmen, and during that time, I felt nothing. No sadness, no anger, no happiness, nothing. Not even when the teacher told us the death toll and the moment’s silence and seeing the flag at half mast did I felt anything. I actually got into detention after the dress code was revised because I refused to remove my jacket, which was a black longcoat like Klebold wore. I wore it to make myself appear dangerous because I was a poor Chinese brat.”

Jiayi: “Some of the teachers had little to no understanding of Lei’s sociopathy and low to lack of empathy. Zhao initially thought Lei was a Columbiner because he would collect newspaper clippings, pictures and other objects, even screenshot serial killer articles, genocides, disasters, massacres and shootings. He even collect books. However, this is NOT the case for him. Lei feels NOTHING when reading about this kind of stuff. He has no emotion when reading this at all.”

To Maria, do you remember the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster?

Maria: “Yes, I do. I remember my parents watching it on TV with me. I was sick that day so I wasn’t in kindergarten. They were happy because it might get me to be interested in space and explained that this is a great day for me to learn about NASA and space because Transformers were from space and the fact one of the astronauts was Japanese-American and would probably inspire me. Then, what should have been a happy family bonding moment that was being filmed turned into me watching a Space Shuttle turn into a fireball and explode and my parents tried to turn the TV off but the damage had already been done. Adil asked me for a school project on the Space Shuttle Challenger since I was old enough to remember it. Mikey even recorded me and my family watching it, but cut it off too when my parents realized what the fuck was going on and told Mikey to stop the film. He called this tape “SPACE SHUTTLE CHALLENGER”. I even lended Adil the tape and told him to return it when he was finished.”

Lei: “We even took Adil, and the whole gang to the Kennedy Space Center. It was actually kind of fun. I got the STS 107 Mission and STS 51L Mission patches since the logos were used during two ill-fated missions. Xiu-mei got a plush toy version of a Space Shuttle. Maria looked at me like “what the fuck?” when I brought the patches, heh. It was a good day overall.”

To Lei, what kind of kid were you in high school?

Lei: “The trenchcoat/poor kid. I actually bought myself a trenchcoat and sunglasses when I was 15 to make myself appear tougher other than the hand me downs because I actually did get picked on a lot. Sucks for the bullies since I stole their lunch money, and their lunch, and probably killed several after I found, including the Chinese girl-obsessed asshole who tried to molest my sister. I was the trenchcoat kid in middle school aswell. I got detention several times because of it.”

To Lei, what is one thing that made you appreciate Xiu-mei?

Lei: “She found a broken Buzz Lightyear figure in a ditch while out when she was in kindergarten field trip. She was four at that time and asked me if I could fix him. His arm was falling off and held on by wires, he was covered in dirt, he only had one wing, and the other was snapped in half. I called my friend in high school who did reconstructions and repairs and he got replacement parts, including a new arm, right wing, head, soles, helmet, stickers and many other things and worked on getting Buzz Lightyear fixed. He told Xiu-mei Buzz was lucky to have someone as sweet as her save him and acted like he was saving a patient in a hospital to ease her and would call her once he was all better. It took five days to fix Buzz Lightyear, including cleaning and sandblasting, as well as new painting because there was no way he could get some of the black stuff off, placing a new voice chip, and a new wing. Even though she was anxious, she was happy with the restored Buzz Lightyear and held him for a few days and spent time with him. She told me she didn’t want to leave him alone again because it must of been ‘scary’ for him. She treats him like how she treats her other Toy Story toys. Now, she does know I have mental health issues and thinks he had been traumatized by the whole time he spent homeless and I saw her act out therapy with her dolls. That is honestly one thing that made me appreciate my daughter for her personality. She still has the figure to this day.”

To Lei, what was the first film you saw in America?

Lei: “I saw Toy Story all the way back in 1995. One of my friends from middle school took me. It was a great film, and I actually liked it. I felt kind of jealous of Andy because he had toys and I didn’t. Jennifer and Gareth never really brought me anything, and anything I had was sold at a pawn shop, even stuff I got from my own birthday. I then watched it with my own daughter and she expressed interest in owning some of the merch from Toy Story.”

To Lei, have you and Xiu-mei seen Turning Red?

Lei: Yes, though I'll admit I was a bit worried about the part of periods, since she's far too young to understand that, and Fumei and Jiayi hide their menstrual products. Thankfully, she didn't question that part, as she was more focused on Mei's transformation into a red panda. She loves that movie.”

To BE!Maria, there's rumors that a former friend of yours volunteered to join Ukraine in stopping the Russian invasion. Is this true?

BE!Maria: Yes, that's true. A former friend I had was named Victoria. She was one of the friends I had briefly before I had to leave. If we did hung out, I don't remember. She did transitioned as a male and changed his (using male pronouns going forward) name to Michael. When Ukraine started allowing volunteers in the force, Michael immediately signed up and was shipped to the country. So far, he's doing good, and claimed to have four body counts from Russia's side.

To Longwei, what’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen?

Longwei: “Fumei, Lei and Xiu-mei watching LazyTown. It must be seen to be believed. Now, Fumei finds Sportacus and Robbie Rotten attractive and Lei playfully teases her over it and even points out if she is focused on them while watching. Xiu-mei doesn’t mind actually, but she did tell them to keep their voices down. And despite their marriage, Lei doesn’t give a fuck if Fumei thinks Sportacus and Robbie Rotten are attractive because it doesn’t affect their marriage in any way and Lei always will playfully tease her. Lei even told us they watch it as a family so he can tease his wife over her finding Sportacus attractive and the fact in his own words ‘Sportacus isn’t a condescending prick who will encourage eating disorders.’ Fumei tends to fire back that he found Elvira attractive and she had to sit through Elvira’s Movie Macabre with him.”

To Zhao, does your gang plan on doing anything related to NFTs?

Zhao: “Um... no. Assassinations, selling weapons, and ransoms are much better ways of making money and are more eco-friendly. In fact, most of the gang does scams involving fake NFTs that basically don’t put in a crypto wallet, but just scams people buying these fake NFTs out of their money. Plus, because NFTs are basically links, Lei changes them to porn links, which is usually a dick pic or anything raunchy.”

Longwei: “NFTs? Yeah, I support Nice Fuckin’ Titties!”

To BE!Maria and Lei, thoughts on Will Smith slapping Chris Rock?

Lei: Even though he shouldn't have gone up there and slapped him, I don't exactly blame Will Smith for being that mad at Chris Rock for offending his wife with that G.I. Jane 2 joke. Being someone with ASPD, I've had a lot of people judge and even make offensive jokes about it. Despite that, along with me not feeling any kind of emotion except on rare occasion, I still maintain a healthy relationship with my wife, my daughter, my co-workers in the gang, and close friends.

To Tanisha, does the shop you work in host card game tournaments?

Tanisha: “Yep, and it’s one of the worst parts of working in a game and card shop. Now, I host Pokémon TCG and Yu-Gi-Oh! tournaments and Longwei comes to help me since he has played the game and is actually good at it. The rules in Yu-Gi-Oh! are basically you cannot have a fourth card copy in your deck, so if you have four copies of let’s say, a Blue-Eyes White Dragon, then you must exchange it with something else or you can’t duel. And no matter what the anime tells you, you can only have one Egyptian God Card in your deck. All three or even two of them is a rule violation, and there is a banlist and I have to look through all the cards to ensue they are legal for use. In Pokémon TCG, there’s just a banlist and double deck draw, where you draw the second card in the deck. I actually refused to allow a 17-year old because he had a banned card in his deck, and he even had four copies of said card.”

To Longwei, do you hold the fact Maria’s 4x great grandfather was a Confederate soldier against her and even having a picture of him in a locket?

Longwei: “No, I don’t. Even though boss Zhao doesn’t exactly approve of the locket because Michael’s in the Confederate Army during the American Civil War, he lets her keep it alongside the tarot cards because it’s a old family heirloom passed down throughout the ages from the 1800’s and she’s basically the last heiress of his bloodline, which is something the boss can relate to. Zhao actually told us not to hold this against her since times were extremely different back then, and from what I’ve read, he’s like a dude Maria without the Japanese heritage and he was an Irish pagan, so he believed in multiple gods and the belief the Major Arcana are protectors.”

To Lei, did Pierre ever wrote you and Xiu-mei back from prison?

Lei: “He has written back, but not any to me, but my daughter only. Xiu-mei is already traumatized as it is, and these letters aren't exactly helping restore her sanity. Most of his letters are directed at her viciously by calling her a "spoiled brat", a "failed abortion", and an "unwanted pregnancy" who should've been murdered. And that's not to mention that his latest letter even referred to her as a "stupid c***ky whore" who eats dogs and cats and that she's nothing but a "COVID spreader" who needs to be executed by the hands of Mao Dezong immediately. After that particular note, I decided to burn said note along with the rest of them outside. I also called the jail he was held at and asked them to blacklist the address so he couldn't send anymore letters at the hideout. The jail does not know this is a gang hideout so we were fine as it’s under the legal operation of a home for troubled Asian-Americans.”

To BE!Maria, was there ever a kid back in school that was way too damn annoying with his or her jokes?

BE!Maria: “A girl named Debra, She was fucking annoying and kind of a bitch to me and Joseph, now Debra was making Yo Momma jokes despite being ASKED to stop seven times, all this after my mother died, now if Yo Momma jokes are used for comedy, I can get that but when you’re asked to stop, then yeah, we’re gonna have a problem, I actually ended up giving her a black eye.”

To Lei, did you ever resent the fact Bo-qin and Hao-yin refuses to take you and your sister in after they found out about you?

Lei: “No, I don’t….In the Sinosphere which is both North and South Korea, China, Taiwan, Macau where I’m from and Japan, Illegitimate children are viewed as not part of the family, Hao-yin was filled with resentment and anger because she lost her daughter and two children ‘tainted with evil’ took her place, the police couldn’t save her in time and had multiple chances, and even though them taking me in would probably save me from years and years of severe abuse, I can’t blame her because she didn’t want anything to do with Qing-lai, even if he fathered the last remaining links to her daughter….She considered me and my sister ‘tainted by evil’…She died in 1999 so I can’t really tell her to go suck a cock.”

Jiayi: “It’s something Bo-qin lived with all day and all night. Now, when Lei had Xiu-mei with Fumei, both were told to marry eachother or put Xiu-mei up for adoption, so the illegitimate children thing is still kind of there, but this was mostly because neither gangs wanted Lei to be a deadbeat and leave Fumei to raise Xiu-mei alone, so Lei married so Xiu-mei wouldn’t be an illegitimate child, and the stigma of illegitimate children in Chinese culture.”

Lei: “Ironically enough, she suffered a major heart attack when police officers recovered the tape at the house of a convicted pedophile after viewing the snuff film that was called “血腥星期日” or Bloody Sunday, which was the murder of Sam Leong at the hands of me and Lei. When Bo-qin told us, she screamed that ‘These is NOT MY GRANDCHILDREN!”, “MONSTERS!” and at her final breath. She murmured “Chao” repeatedly until she died.”

To Jiayi, what was the worst gang backstory you heard?

Jiayi: “In Scorpion Blood of this year, Madame Xi found a Japanese woman in a department store with her twin children. She had a black eye and bruises all over her she desperately tried to hide with clothing, and her kids were absolutely terrified of Yuyan. After quieting her children down, she told Yuyan her name was Tomoko Shinomiya and her twins were called Yuuya and Ami. She said that her husband died in February 2022 in a road accident coming home from work and her mother-in-law became severely abusive to her and blamed her for the loss of his son, and her in laws wouldn’t do anything. She ended up getting arrested after she did in a bathroom and the neighbor called the police after a noise complaint. Tomoko was found bruised and battered and her mother in law was arrested. She used this time to sell the house and run to emigrate to the United States with her children. We even got permanent status sorted out for her. She also demanded the kids.”

Fumei: “She was our first Japanese member, which is a bit of an oddity since most of us grew up in China. Madame Xi originally came from Harbin, China and grew up near the ruins of Unit 731. The reason her kids burst into tears was because they thought Madame Xi was their grandmother. Madame Xi doesn’t have children other than Xiu-mei as a pseudo granddaughter.”

To Lei, did you ever hear about the woman that forced the children at her daughter’s birthday to give their bears to the birthday girl?

Lei: “Yep, and I actually have a story similar to this. When she was over to a girl’s 4th birthday in October 2018, she was in Xiu-mei’s preschool, Xiu-mei was three, the mother actually forced all the kid’s there, including Xiu-mei to hand over their bears to the daughter. The bear she picked out was an Alolan Vulpix that she still owns. I had go to a doctor’s appointment which was on that day because I was having severe pain whenever I urinated and they wanted to make sure it wasn’t cancer, so me and Xiu-mei had to leave early, but the mother then tried to make all the kids give their bears to their daughter. When the birthday girl tried to snatch the Alolan Vulpix, she bit her and shouted in Cantonese ‘Mine!’ I actually left the party earlier than expected after telling the mother that I hoped she likes her new Build-a-Bears, because that’s the only friends she’s ever going to have unless she changed! To this day, I still kind of dread a birthday party at Build-a-Bear Workshop...”

To Lei, what is the funniest anti-Autism Speaks stunt you did?

Lei: “Oh, many. One time, for Autism Awareness Day and the school was doing something for Autism Speaks, I sent Xiu-mei to school in a shirt in Morse Code in blue. It actually read “Fuck You, Autism Speaks!”, and they did this is kindergarten aswell and they didn’t notice until Music class. The teacher was an Army veteran and understood Morse Code.”

To Lei, was there any dumb rules when Xiu-mei was in school?

Lei: “Yeah, the school banned hazelnuts because a student was allergic to them, which is reasonable except for the fact her allergy was very mild. She only suffered hives and a rash if she came into contact with them, and EVEN her mother tried to repeal this. It ended up getting repealed after a doctor was called in and proved the girl’s allergy wasn’t severe. Another was when I ended up being called by the principal because Xiu-mei asked the teacher and classroom assistant to keep their voices down because they was was talking too loudly when Xiu-mei was working on a pop quiz about WWII. I asked them what they were doing, and they replied a pop quiz. So then I snarked “Yeah, she kind of had the right to tell you to keep your voice down...”

To Lei, Can you tell more about the pro-Israel teacher you had?

Lei: “I am not kidding when I say she was a bitch to everyone! One time, when we were doing an assignment on Neil Armstrong and the Apollo 11 mission, I asked her to keep her voice down because she was talking too loudly and I got detention, and believe me, I do not recommend letting her teach anything about the Israeli-Palestine conflict because she can’t keep her fucking bias to herself. Now, she proclaims criticism against Israel is anti-Semitic and she actually gave 80% of her class an F because their essays included mentions of Israeli war crimes and several others, and when I was asked about it at home, even Jennifer and Gareth thought it was the stupidest thing ever and decided not to do the usual punishment for me which was no food for three days! Even Penelope doesn’t like her because she is a condescending bitch. You know you’re a shitty teacher when shitty foster parents hate you.”

To Lei, did any teacher from Xiu-mei’s school get fired?

Lei: “Yeah, a fourth-grade teacher, and she was fucking racist Arebad-Georgia Family-style. The fourth graders complained she segregated students by forcing non-white students to sit in the back, gave white students higher grades even if they did poorly and the non-white students lower grades no matter how well they did. Hell, she actually refused to let a girl who had gay dads attend a classmate’s birthday and treated her extremely poorly. She even campaigned for the school to get rid of Spanish lessons. Xiu-mei was in first grade. This happened when she was 5, so a year ago in 2021. Now, what happened was she dragged Xiu-mei into her classroom during recess and yelled at her for speaking Mandarin and Cantonese and kept her in there for the entire recess and the whole day so she could speak English like everyone else and even called her a ‘c***k’. This bitch hit my daughter when she dared to get mouthy and actually broke her wrist. She actually told Xiu-mei she shouldn’t wear a qipao because ‘this is NOT CHINA!’ and when her teacher noticed she didn’t return, she called us. Now there was a convicted pedophile who was caught trying to drag a 7-year old girl out of the school, so me and Fumei fucking panicked when we received that phone call. Now she kept her in there all day, and we thought something had happened to our child until the girl who had the two dads said her teacher dragged her into her classroom. I actually used an expired credit card to get the door open since she won't unlock the door. I was fucking angry, and my daughter was being forced to wear a Donald Trump Make America Great Again shirt that was too big for her with a KKK hood, as well as being forced to hold a Confederate flag and on the board was ‘Cantonese and Mandarin are un-American.’ She also had bruising on her face because she was hit after she refused to read it out. When the teacher was back, I fucking lost it. I didn’t care if I was in an elementary school. I ruthlessly beat her senselessly in front of fourth and third graders as well as stomping on her hands when she tried to fought back, causing nearly all of her bones in her hands to break. Her fourth grade class was cheering us on while all of this was happening. Yes, even the white kids hated her. While all of this was going on, Abigail got Xiu-mei out and went to call the police. It took three teachers including the principal to get me away from her. She tried to falsely accuse me of rape for that. No, I just beat her up because she abducted my daughter and forced her to stay in her class the whole day trying to teach her white supremacist logic, made my daughter remove her leggings and qipao and made her wear basically outfits you’d make your children wear at a far-right march! Fumei got Xiu-mei out of there and dressed her back in her qipao and leggings. Xiu-mei actually punched her while she was crying on the ground yelling “MUDAMUDA!” Xiu-mei was traumatized and aswell as pissed off.”

Fumei: “During the investigation, the teacher denied all wrongdoing and said that ‘racist’ was in her words ‘rather annoying communist inspired silencing tactic’, and said that it promoted silencing against patriotic pro-American and those against mass immigration, crimes committed by black, Asian or Hispanic criminals, and other shit. She claimed Abigail’s dads who are actually really cool people by the way are pedophiles and sex offenders and how Xiu-mei’s qipao was against school dress code although the principal was cool with it. In the end, she was found guilty of all charges and the court vowed that she never work with children again. Justice was served that day...”

To Lei, besides the child abuse and alt-right crap, is there anything else we need to know about Karen Mailson?

Lei: “Yes. There was a time where she started a one person campaign to get rid of foreign language classes and have the daughter of two Mexican immigrants kicked out of school.”

To Lei, what do you think of the family from Vintage Honda Civic?

Lei: “Fucking condescending pieces of shit... They remind me of my former ‘foster family’ who used me and my sister’s foster checks on themselves, and the fact I don’t drive an expensive car, like, does it look like I give a fuck? And the fact they mock anything ‘not normal’ to them. In short terms, no one in the gang likes them for being judgmental, condescending assholes. Hell, even Xiu-mei hates their brat.”

Jiayi: “Even Maria hates them, and Maria is the embodiment of a Lad-ette. She drinks, smokes, and talks about sex and sometimes even I forget she’s actually a girl.”

To BE!Maria, what are your thoughts on Helluva Boss?

BE!Maria: It's not my thing personally, but I do like some episodes. Austin is a huge fan of it, though.

To Lei, did your birthday ever get ruined?

Lei: “Once, and it was from the jackass Pierre. This happened in 2014 and the fucking asshole ate me and my sister’s birthday cake. When he got caught, he claimed I didn’t like chocolate and red velvet, even though they're actually my favorite flavors of cake.”

Hey, Lei, Maria, do you ever like to watch New or Old Disney Movies?

BE!Maria: I prefer the old movies.

Lei: Same. The new ones are kind of lame.

To Lei, have you listened to the latest Grand Belial's Key album?

Lei: I have, and it's actually pretty good, despite the band members being white supremacist fuckers. I still think their first album "Mocking the Philanthropist" is their best release, with "Judeobeast Assassination" coming at a close second.

To Lei, was there anyone no longer allowed to stay over at the Gardners?

Lei: “Believe it or not, Jiayi had an ex-boyfriend, and he would come over. He was a really cool dude and I liked him. He was the same age as us, and what caused this romantic relationship to end was Penelope forcefully kissing him. I would like to remind that Jennifer did nothing but watch with an evil grin on her face because neither could stand the thought of Jiayi being happy. Jackson was never the same again. Last from what I’ve heard Jackson is doing well and is still close friends with Jiayi.”

To Lei and Jiayi, other than the neglectful home life of Gardeners, did they have any rules?

Lei: “Yeah, if they were guests over, like your boss, girl posse, gossipy hens, you stay upstairs and don’t leave. I had to sneak out to use the bathroom alongside Jiayi. Also, we weren’t allowed to sit on the couch, buy anything more than $6, anything more than that was pawned for money, and oh, no fads. So basically anything late 90’s-early 00’s was banned. I also was not allowed fast food and if they ever ordered any or brought some home, me and Jiayi were not allowed to eat it.”

Jiayi: “On Jennifer’s side of the family, she has a sister who left her kid with us. Now, these two fucking bitches refused to listen to reason from a fucking mental health caseworker that Lei was NOT mentally fit to be looking after a child. Her kid is bratty, screams constantly, and Lei got told off for disciplining her when she threw her food at the sink! And they even had the audacity to tell Lei not to swear in his own ‘bedroom’, and the brother in law even agreed with us on this and after work would pick his daughter up. The last thing I heard was she was in a women’s jail for assault and robbery, aswell as the murder of an elderly woman she was supposed to look after.”

Lei: “When we lived at the Stephensons, they had a strict rule on no video game consoles or fads, as well as heavy metal music or anything ‘Satanic’. The last time I met them, they mellowed out a lot and Aimee was a fan of Pokemon and they loved my daughter like a granddaughter even though she wasn’t theirs and she saw Zhao as a grandpa.”

To Lei, did you know about Gareth dying the same day as your daughter was born?

Lei: “Yeah. Tassie did messaged me about the funeral and she told me no one on his side of the family came to his funeral. His sister even spat on the coffin before storming out. Turned out he wasn’t only a terrible guy to me, as he physically and mentally abused his sister’s kids, though I can't say I'm not surprised to hear that.”

To Lei, Have you ever met the Cano-Sykes Family?

Lei: “Yeah, and the guys in that family are sexist and condescending assholes. Their two youngest brats threw a tantrum when Xiu-mei and Mila beat them at Pokémon Sword and Shield and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Look, I’m a grown ass man and I can’t even beat Mila. Xiu-mei herself does not take shit from anyone.”

BE!Maria: “Riddhi needs better parents and better brothers. I actually gave Jasper a black eye when he told me I should be having children and serving men instead cuz’ I’m female. This is the exact same shit those cult leaders from the CCOTD told me for years. And that's not to mention that they’re also racist.”

Lei: “When they told me to go fuck myself, I was like ‘Fuck this, you’re getting a Frillish, game over.” And I traded them a female Frillish nicknamed Game Over with little to zero IVs, at Level 100, and only knew Destiny Bond.

To BE!Maria and Lei, do you ever sympathize for Riddhi Cano-Sykes?

Lei: “Yes. My sister and my fellow female gang members would beat my ass to a pulp if I ever treated them like that. When she and Kaseeb have kids, I would probably tell her to go no-contact with her adopted family.”

BE!Maria: “I gave Jasper a black eye because of how shitty he was acting. I don’t take sexist and racist bullshit from anyone, and I make myself clear when I say that. Those two are just like the cult leaders that treated the Docks like a Christian-controlled hellhole.”

To Feng, do you get inspirations from other poisoners?

Feng: “Yes. Lacing curry with poison has got to be a unique way, yet horrific. That’s what a Japanese housewife did to her entire neighborhood. She managed to kill the council’s president and vice president, a young boy and a teenage girl, like fuck! One mass murder I did involved lacing curry with not arsenic, but warfarin based rat poison which killed over 30 and caused over a hundred hospitalizations, which I unleashed on an animal liberation terrorist group.”

To Lei, what is the dumbest confrontations you had to deal with?

Lei: “One time at an Easter event, I was planning to meet Kelly there. Now, most of my female colleagues were busy, so we all decided to come since Xiu-mei insisted. So 8 of us with three little girls. Joseph left Sa-rang at home came to an Easter Event, and there was this mom ranting when we got out that this was a children’s parking space. Longwei asked we could move, but the woman yelled ‘it probably won’t make a difference! My two children had a meltdown in the car because you parked there before us!’ It was only when Devi got out of the car, crossed his arms, and said this, ‘We’re entitled to use this spot.’ Adil also helped his sister, Xiu-mei, and Akara out of the car. She shut her mouth soon after that after realizing we had three kids.”

Fumei: “When Xiu-mei was a baby, Lei would take pictures of her and me, and he used to work in a bookshop as an undercover until Xiu-mei was 4. One female colleague who couldn’t have kids took an issue with him looking at pictures of his daughter during free time and talking to her via video call and asked him not to do it near her because ‘it’s not fair on her that he has kids and she doesn’t.’ He told her no because he wants me to know how he’s doing and it’s the only time he can talk to his daughter. I told him this was the exact same woman who took offense at me being pregnant.”

To Lei, did you ever meet Sam Leong’s daughter?

Lei: “Yes, and we met in 2021. She got married and had two children, a 17-year old son and a 4-year old daughter. I wondered why she wanted to meet me when her first memory of me and my sister was me walking out of Qing-lai’s torture den, covered in her father’s blood. Looking apathetic to her family’s horror, she never forgot my face when she looked at me. My sister showed more emotion than I did. Her look was that of complete pity. She invited me to Utah where we lived at until Qing-lai’s arrest. I was befuddled why she would even want me. The bloodstained brat who killed her fucking dad.”

To Lei, what was the dumbest AITA story you ever commented on?

Lei: “One story I’ve read involved an overzealous bookseller refusing to sell a book on the Columbine High School massacre to a 15-year old girl because he thought she was a Columbiner. Her parents came down to the store with her to complain. He had the audacity of calling an innocent 15-year old girl a ‘future school shooter’! Needless to say, I went off on his ass to put it lightly...”

To Gyeo-ul, what was school like?

Gyeo-ul: “I was a very good student with straight A’s until it went straight to hell with the rape and all. One story I remember was when we had a Halloween party. Two girls, including that bitch Da-rae, dressed up as the Columbine shooters. I think she dressed up as Eric Harris. She was always infatuated with the shooters. It caused outrage and both got suspended from school for two weeks. Da-rae and her friend were also banned from a school trip to Seoul. Da-rae and Bong-cha insisted they didn’t do anything wrong. One of my teachers, an English teacher who actually attended Columbine, especially got really pissed off. They also got detention and a long lecture on Columbine. I was also formally a true crime enthusiast before my ordeal. Nowadays, I can’t look at anything to do with it in case I see something sexual assault related.”

To BE!Maria, thoughts on the whole Roe v. Wade overturn controversy going on right now?

BE!Maria: “I’m honestly fucking disgusted! These fucking politicians care more about their religious beliefs and inflicting them on a country than a raped woman or a woman who would fucking die if she gives birth. My mom had to have an abortion years after having me because she could die if she went through with the pregnancy. Now, I asked Joseph Wintergreen, who became a doctor, if implanting an ectopic pregnancy was possible, and he said ‘no, that’s not possible.’ During myself being in the gang, I had to help women who were raped. Their fetus had deformities that would potentially jeopardize the mom’s life or hell, and the mother even had stillborn that needed to be taken out, get access to safe abortions and even be an escort to avoid harassment. And Tanisha hates this shit that goes on. If it wasn’t for Roe v. Wade, she would have given birth to a child she didn’t want and wasn’t even fathered by her murdered husband.”

Hey everyone, what are your legal fronts?

BE!Maria: “Substitute teacher and anime and game collector.”

Longwei: “Game reviewer.”

Devi: “Banker.”

Bopha: “Caretaker and bakery saleswoman.”

Feng: “Pest exterminator. It gives me complete access to a ton of poisons.”

Satomi: “Weapon mechanic.”

Mi-Yung: (signing) “Author. I publish books under a false name.”

Gyeo-ul: “High school student and part-time worker at a Korean restaurant. I attend Lei and Jiayi’s high school under a false name and age.”

Adil: “High school student aswell and ROBLOX and Minecraft game player. I don’t like either and I onlydo it for money.”

Tanisha: “Cartoonist and artist that does commissions. I was caught doing artwork of Pokémon characters and I used Lei in his Ghetsis outfit as a reference. I love art.”

Lei: “PTA member. Which is a bit ironic since I hate nearly half of the parents in my daughter’s class.”

Jiayi; “Chocolatier and cake maker.”

Mila: (signing and mouthing) “Sign language teacher.”

Joseph: “Cover singer on YouTube.”

Takeshi: “Salvation Army member. This would've been tolerable had my colleagues not be a bunch of homophobic jackasses other than a few cover gang members. Fuck my life... My cover job makes me not want to donate to the Salvation Army. Some gang members from other gangs I met told me the staff were cruel and robotic to them and were condescending. They also throw families out if they have an LGBT kid, even when the parents beg them not to kick them out. It’s actually to the point I give them my friend, who is a real estate agent who is a big help in their lives.”

To Lei, about the weird pro-gun activists who said that school shooting victims deserved to die for the dumbest reasons, what else has he done?

Lei: “He actually wanted my daughter’s upcoming private school to have a shooting. He got arrested in September when he actually took a shotgun to my daughter’s private school and opened fire. Thankfully no one was hurt. I ended up disarming him and held him at gunpoint with the other gang members while the teachers evacuated everyone.”

To Lei, how did Xiu-mei’s first day of private school go?

Lei: “Kind of well. Now, some of the kids were fucking scared of her due to the fact her parents were from Chinese crime syndicates and she became the most popular kid in school despite this being her first day and got a girl posse, except she’s a really nice kid. However, I was called in when the teacher discovered she had taken some of my books about Columbine to school and I did have to explain to her it’s alright if she wants to read about it at home, but not while at school. The teachers and even the headmistress were frightened of me and I can’t say I blame them. It’s usually my wife that comes instead of me since they aren’t as frightened of her.”

To Fumei, are there any kids in the private school that Xiu-mei doesn't like?

Fumei: Well, there's this one boy who constantly teases Xiu-mei because of the qipao's she wears on a no-uniform day. She said she has the most beef with him. He actually whined and threw a fit when Xiu-mei refused to let him play on her Switch, and when his dad tried to challenge Lei, the other parents tried to talk him out of it.”

To Lei and Fumei, did the recent shooting that happened in Texas scare you?

Fumei: “Lei actually avoids watching news reports on school shootings despite collecting newspaper articles. Not because they’re distressing, but the fact Lei cannot feel any kind of emotion when he is watching shit like this due to his sociopathy and is extremely lifeless when watching them, and he is aware of this as during the Stoneman Douglas High School massacre, he hit his head off a wall angrily shouting at himself to feel some form of sadness. Lei watched the Sandy Hook news reports with an emotionless demeanor. I think the fact Lei’s angry and pissed off at himself is because he was the father of a 2 1/2 at the time of the shooting.”

To Fumei, did you ever have to breastfeed Xiu-mei or use infant formula?

Fumei: “Both. When I ever visited China under a false name, I refused to buy infant formula there due to a scandal that happened in 2008 after stupid morons at Sanlu thought melamine was a good substitute for giving milk higher protein. Madame Yuyan warned me beforehand, and especially warned me to stay away from Chinese milk powder. Lei refuses to buy Chinese milk products altogether. Feng told me about the effects of melamine on the human body.”

Lei: “So, if you’re asking if mainland Chinese are distrustful against their country’s own milk products, well, a Macau Chinese man and his mainland wife don’t even fucking trust Chinese dairy companies.”

To Feng, did you ever use poisonous fruits, plants, or fungi in your missions?

Feng: “Yes, I actually have. Death cap mushrooms alongside cyanide are the best weapons of mass destruction. Now, my target was a group of corrupt Hong Kong police officers during the Hong Kong protest. I made soup out of death cap mushrooms. Now, the thing with death caps is even though they’re said to taste good, the gastroenteritis symptoms are not your body trying to purge the toxin, but the first indication of liver failure.”

To Lei, has Xiu-mei made any new friends in private school?

Lei: “Yeah, she’s a kind girl and she’s made a lot of friends and her teachers are actually pretty cool, and the parents although they’re a bit uptight, didn’t treat Xiu-mei poorly even because of her race. And let me remind you that she got a fucking girl posse on her first week. These four other girls were said to have behavioral problems including bullying. One even was suspended for pulling a girl’s hair out but are protective of Xiu-mei by all accounts.”

To Lei, is there anyone from the private school you dislike?

Lei: “This Israeli mom. Her family immigrated from Israel. East Jerusalem to be specific, and they had to leave because a rocket destroyed their home. But for fuck’s sake is she obnoxious! Her IDF husband had a record of killing an unarmed 14-year old Palestinian girl in East Jerusalem back in 2012, and no one likes her husband for this reason after they found it out because he was bragging about it. Longwei even asked if he could kill him, though it was denied. Now, most of the parents either came from wealthy positions like doctors, lawyers, programmers, or even a politician, or if you’re me, a high paying member of a Chinese crime syndicate.”

Fumei: “I feel bad for their poor kid. It’s not that poor girl they hate, as they actually like her. It’s her parents that bugs them. The mom wanted Ben and Jerry’s ice cream not to be served as a treat for an ice cream and pizza day because Ben and Jerry’s announced they weren’t gonna be selling in the illegal territories anymore, which included Israel. She pisses me off and Xiu-mei surprisingly wanted her daughter to join her posse because she felt bad her parents were nutcases. They actually made Nadia, who is Adil’s Palestinian girlfriend, cry.”

To Zhao, How was Lei and Fumei’s first year of marriage?

Zhao: “Madame Xi and I had to teach Lei about a married life and even got him to try and pick up hobbies since a lot of his isn’t exactly stuff you’d want to talk about with your wife and even had to go out as a married couple.”

To Lei, what happened to Derek Vicker?

Lei: “Oh, the shitty ex-principal? I killed him with Dongshun, and it was glorious. How you ask? I stabbed him then removed his wrist bones, stomach and bladder in a hilarious twist of irony because he broke my wrist, left me hungry, and a full bladder in his office! I did that when I disguised myself as a security guard, so it was easy to sneak in the prison.”

To Lei, who is one of the worst people in your neighborhood?

Lei: “The Homeowner’s Association. More specifically, one of the people who is in charge of our neighborhood named Jenny. She’s an ableist and racist cunt who thinks autistics and the mentally ill belong in group homes and institutions. This headass bitch refuses to listen to any reason from a mental health case worker and threatened us with a court order if we didn’t get rid of our cats, despite being told 10 times by an animal welfare officer and even the landlord who happens to be my boss’ nephew who also survived the massacre that I was allowed to keep Kuí. She demanded we take down lanterns and decorations for Chinese New Year because apparently against ‘guidelines’ despite letting neighbors have 4th of July decorations up. She even had the audacity to tell Maria not to swear in her own home.”

Jiayi: “Yeah, and our house has to have a lot of accommodations because of Lei’s mental health problems and Mila and Mi-Yung’s disabilities such as notes reminding them they’re mute and deaf respectively. Jenny wanted us to take Lei’s passive aggressive notes down along with the warnings that Mila and Mi-Yung were mute and deaf respectively.”

To Lei, what is the worst Asian-American hate crime you’ve read about?

Lei: “Me and Jiayi discovered a Chinese-American man that had been buried alive by KKK members while we were in Georgia. Jiayi was insistent we save whoever is buried alive. It was a Chinese immigrant named Gao-yu. He had been there for days, 4 days to be specific. Now, me and my sister speak Cantonese and this guy spoke Mandarin, so once we drove back to the hideout, we had to treat him at home with help from Angelo because he had no medical insurance since he was homeless and had nowhere else to go. As it turned out, he was falsely accused of raping a 7-year old girl back in China and sentenced to death. I am pretty relieved he didn’t rape that girl, but the fact he was on the run and on death row for a crime he didn’t commit, buried alive, and struggled in America.”

Fumei: “He ended up joining my gang after I helped him recover. For a short time, he wouldn’t go near my daughter because those accusations took him to heart, and he didn't want us to label him as a pedo as well. We later found out that the actual rapist was a corrupt cop who wanted money so he could be a hero. He's hoping to do an international travel to China with the gang to kill the actual rapist and find some closure to this craziness once and for all.”

To Lei, there's a rumor that you hacked into one of the infamous pro-Pierre groups and actually exposed the leader as a registered sex offender. Is that true?

Lei: “Yeah, it's true. Any low level target like anyone who poisons pets and/or is a MAP gets their account hacked and exposed for the whole world to see. I did something similar to a woman who had been poisoning cats with rat poison because her daughter was allergic to them. I even posted CCTV footage for the entire neighborhood to see. But yeah, I exposed the guy as a sex offender.”

To Lei, what did the Columbine fanboy did?

Lei: “Pardon me, but this one's pretty fucking vile. He abducted a 10-year old girl on her way home from school, raped her, and when I was called to jury duty (I went under a false name), he was literally justifying his own deed in court, as he was basically shouting that little girls should be raped because of shit I’m not mentioning due to how batshit insane they were. He also tried to argue that pedophilia should be legalized and accepted and other shit. I noticed something was fishy before because he liked skinny women that looked childlike and had been reprimanded for selling lolicon porn as that is classified as child porn in the area. He actually made inappropriate remarks about teens too. The girl’s dad wanted to tear his throat out when he heard his rant in court. The girl was left severely traumatized and mute because of all of this. Gyeo-ul actually asked the parents if she could be this girl’s therapist because she knows how it feels, and I decided to let Gyeo-ul kill him instead of me.”

Fumei: “It was very sweet to see Gyeo-ul help her,. I think if Gyeo-ul wasn’t a serial killer, she would have been a therapist for rape and CSA survivors,

To Fumei, did you have any birth complications?

Fumei: “No, but we did take her to a maternity hospital just in case when she was 2 days old to check for any abnormalities since she was born in my gang hideout and not a hospital. Now, she was a week premature. I told Lei the due date and she came a week earlier. The doctors told me she was healthy, but wanted to keep her and me in the maternity ward since I did have bleeding and was amenic from blood loss, which I accepted. I told the doctors I would like to stay for five days because it would give me enough time to check if Xiu-mei was going to be okay.”

To Lei, what is one true crime case that actually disturbed you?

Lei: “Elisa Izquierdo and Arthur Labinjo-Hughes. One of my worst fears is my daughter being abused by her own sociopathic and mentally ill father. And when she was out of the hospital when Fumei checked herself and Xiu-mei in due to her being a week early, I called up every mom I knew including some former high school classmates. During the Arthur Labinjo-Hughes case, I actually told psychologists I feared being like Emma Tustin because she had no maternal instincts and was an evil psychopath who saw her stepson as an obstacle in the relationship with her boy’s father aswell as only having kids for attention and money and Awilda Lopez because instead of being addicted to drugs. I had extremely violent impulses and brutal and no paternal instincts aswell as when my daughter grew up, picked up some of these impulses despite being a very sweet child and having a high level of morality, which is something I don’t have. With the Elisa Izquierdo case, one thing that pissed me off was the judge’s blatant disregard of warnings despite being told by teachers, dad’s family members, and even a royal prince that her mom was an abusive drug addict. Longwei told me he faced something similar while living in Chicago despite repeated warnings about his father.”

To Lei and Jiayi, did you ever have to kill a war criminal?

Lei: “Yes. If you haven't heard of the Bosnian War, then you’re in for a wild ride. We killed this guy in 2002 and he was one of my first gang victims. We were asked to take out a Serbian war criminal by a Bosnian-American man who murdered and raped his wife and two daughters, one of whom was aged 7. We tracked down his location and killed him.”

Jiayi: “Lei’s TIFU during that was not eating prior and actually skipping meals because our client wanted it done quickly, so he did the killing while he hadn’t eaten all day. He was struggling with an eating disorder at the time so I did scold our client for letting my brother kill the bastard while hungry because Lei was insistent in not leaving any trace of him in the house.”

To BE!Maria, what was the funniest thing that happened this year?

BE!Maria: “That HOA bitch stepping in cat shit. Even our cats don’t like her.”

To Lei, did you hear Billy Kametz died?

Lei: “Yes. I knew from when his diagnosis of stage 4 colon cancer came out. He was doomed since some recover, but most people don’t when cancer is stage 4. He may have defeated Cancer Cell in Cells at Work as my daughter’s favorite action hero, but in real-life, that’s sadly not the case. In a coincidence, when you’re playing Pokémon Masters, Sync Pairs greet you when you start the game. When Xiu-mei was playing, it was Blue. Maria said she hoped her mom can ask him for an autograph in the afterlife, I nearly went through something similar when Xiu-mei was two except I didn’t die and it thankfully wasn’t cancer but fuck I scared the crap out of everyone.”

To Fumei, when was the last time Lei was violently ill?

Fumei: “When Xiu-mei was 2 years old, so he was 33. He was violently ill and unable to keep food down, had no appetite, and had intense stomach pains and diarrhea that had blood in it. We actually took Lei straight to the hospital. It turnes out he had a tumor in his colon that was causing an obstruction. The doctors told me if it wasn’t removed, he sure would have been at risk for cancer and even death. Thankfully, it was removed without issue, and Lei recovered soon after., Jiayi curled up beside him and refused to leave after he was brought home the hospital.”

To Fumei, what is the dumbest thing you’ve seen someone offended by?

Fumei: “The only people I told I was pregnant were my soon to be husband and a couple of friends. Now, because I haven’t told my brother until I went into labor a week early than Xiu-mei’s due date, one of my friends who is male to female transgender wanted to watch me when I had Xiu-mei, but I told her a flat-out no, telling her I only wanted my brother and boyfriend and she got really huffy and threw a tantrum. She said she would be unable to give birth and excluding her is taking away her womanhood and depriving her of ‘femininity’. I told her multiple times and when I went into labor earlier than expected, she threw a tantrum after finding most of my fellow female gang members helped me with the delivery and she that she should've been involved as well, and basically calling me transphobic. Lei called her out for it. She actually had to be kicked out of the maternity hospital I booked myself into because she was screaming abuse and yelling ‘transphobe!’ at me.”

To Fumei, what’s the funniest thing Lei has ever said waking up from surgery?

Fumei: “When he was high on anesthesia when his kidney stone was taken out, he asked the doctor if he was single and can he have his phone number. When he came out of the colon surgery, the nurse asked him who was the president of the United States. He responded “A Large Piece of Shit!” The nurse responded by telling me he’s okay. He also whined his ‘belly hurt’ like a small child and asked for a belly rub. He doesn’t remember it though.”

To Zhao, what was Maria’s punishment for the Fiona locket fiasco?

Zhao: “As punishment for the assault of Fiona, she was banned from leaving the base for two whole weeks and I confiscated her knife for three weeks. However, I made Fiona’s ban to the base permanent since even I got annoyed at her. Thievery is not tolerated in my base. Maria had NO obligations threatening Fiona with a knife, but Fiona had absolutely no obligations to pawn something that didn’t even belong to her and basically stole property without telling Maria. I don’t exactly approve of the locket personally, but that’s Maria’s property and she can do as she wishes. She says when she dies, she wants to be buried with the locket and the tarot cards as a way to end her lineage and there’s no more Tarot card holders. That’s also one of the reasons she was so pissed off as those alongside her JoJo manga are the last remaining links to her family. If my underlings do something wrong, I make sure their punishments are not ‘no meals’ or anything that can harm them, so I do not beat my underlings nor deprive them of food, water or medicine they need.”

To Zhao, you're treating Maria like she's 16! Stop treating these grown men and women like disrespectful teenagers!

Zhao: “Seriously? If this is about her knife being confiscated, I don't want to hear it! Everyone in our gang, including me, has to follow the rules, and there are punishments should they be broken. This isn't about "treating them like teenagers" or whatever, but it's about protecting our gang from being exposed since our legal operation is a group home for troubled Asian-Americans, such as that near run-in with the whole Fiona fiasco, They were times I had to punish Lei for breaking or disregarding rules like walking around naked covered in blood and he is in his 30’s.”

To Zhao, how was Maria during and after her disciplinary measures were over?

Zhao: “She was still very quiet and listless and generally still seemed to be a bit shaken from everything that went down in the past few weeks. I told her that what's done is done, and if anyone (and especially that militant Christian group who threatened us online) doxxed us because of that cancel culture stuff, me and Longwei will make sure they never get there, and Gyeo-ul kind of understood she couldn’t have Fiona here. She actually admitted she didn’t like Fiona that much either because she wouldn’t stop talking and singing.”

To Fumei, How is Gao-yu in your gang?

Fumei: “He’s still quite sickly, but Tomoko Shinomiya took a shine to him and he took a liking to her. He’s still wary about kids, however.”

To BE!Maria, what was the most annoying thing that happened this year (besides the whole cancel culture controversy, of course)?

BE!Maria: “The time I was told not to swear in my own hideout by a neighbor. This bitch is a racist and ableist cunt who thinks the mentally ill and anyone who isn’t a ‘true American’ belong in prisons, group homes, and institutions. This bitch refused to listen to reason from Lei’s therapist and had the audacity to tell us not to swear in our own damn hideout and Lei not to watch horror movies. She threatens to call ICE on us if we are ‘too noisy’ or just anything. Ironically enough, Joseph told her to keep her voice down because his daughter was sleeping.”

To Lei, How is Fūikèihsī now?

Lei: “He’s a sweet cat, but fuck he’s a pain in the ass. He now has the habit of stealing possessions from people he dislikes. This includes our bitchy neighbor, Jenny, and just anyone I hate (though I honestly can't blame him).”

To BE!Maria, have you heard that the Supreme Court has officially overturned Roe v. Wade?!

BE!Maria: Yes, and to say that I am pissed would be an extreme understatement. I cannot believe that they actually fucking double down on that bullshit. And apparently, half of the US states are going to restrict or even outlaw abortion altogether, making it only harder for women to get an abortion. This just made things even more complicated and hard, and the people who are outright praising that shit is fucking disgusting. My mother had to have an abortion because if she didn't, then she would've died. I bet those so-called "pro-lifers" won't care about her life and instead blame her for having an abortion anyway for multiple shitty reasons. This country is just a joke...

To Zhao, Did the twins ever recover from their childhood?

Zhao: “They haven't fully recovered, but it’s more of a bittersweet recovery. They know somewhere sick perverts are getting off to the snuff film of Sam Leong. Jiayi and Lei are still pretty screwed up, even with therapy both would never recover fully. Some of Lei’s high school friends told me he could not have a proper conversation with somebody unless it was about murder, killing, and torture, and he had to even pick up what his classmates were into so he could have a normal conversation. Jacob actually helped Lei get interested in metal music. Jiayi as a teen was completely apathetic to any murder, even treating murder cases that were happening like they were something you’d watch on TV. I guess both are blessed with suck because it makes them perfect killers but unable to feel anything other than being apathetic and emotionlessness.”

To Lei, what was the hardest kill you had so far this year?

Lei: “I often have to kill borderline creepy assholes who get taken in by my physical appearance…..this year I had to kill a sicko cunt former camp counseler who was a RSO for molesting boys at a camp, This man was into effeminate guys or that looked childlike, Believe it or not, this prick managed to overpower me and hold me by my arms over my head and then onto the ground, he said I ‘was cute’ and ‘sexy’…and made creepy comments about my body and hair and began feeling me, this asshole then tried to get me to laugh after I flinched when he traced his finger on my abdomen.”

Gyeo-ul: “I didn’t like he was doing that to Lei, Lei has this utter look of horror and disgust, I ended up bashing the guy’s skull and Lei finished the job with a slit throat and stabbed him even more times, so, in case this was too long and you didn’t read, one of our targets actually managed to overpower Lei and basically sexually assault him, Lei actually made his killing brutal while screaming “Get out of my head! DIE! DIE! DIIIIIIE!”, our client basically had to drag Lei away from him, needless to say, he was actually pretty horrified…hell, even I felt bad for Lei.”