Sevick Family Christmas 2031

School Play
Nicole: "The Sevicks went out to Luke's Christmas play at his high school."

Kevin: "Children, find a seat!"

[The triplets, the non-identical twins, Eugene, and David run off, go to the snack stand and steal some of the snacks the snack stand is offering]

Snack stand vendor: "Excuse me, but you did not pay for those. Please put them back ASAP."

Eugene: "GET LOST, YOU KE$HA LOOK-A-LIKE!"

[The vendor ignores Eugene's rude comment and takes the snacks back]

[Cut back to the auditorium, the rest of the family is seated]

Kevin: (quietly to Carmen) "We have seven missing."

Carmen: "Go and get them before the play begins."

[Kevin gets up]

Kevin: "I'll be back, family."

[Kevin exits the auditorium and in the nick of time, finds the seven amok runners and escorts them back to the auditorium]

Kevin: (to the seven amok runners) "You were supposed to stay in your seats. Going anywhere in public without me or your mother's supervision or permission can be dangerous. Oh, look, the play's about to start." (lowers voice) "Let's be quiet."

Christmas Shopping at the Mall
Nicole: "Christmas shopping at the mall was unfortunately a disaster for the Sevicks."

[Adam enters the children's Christmas miniature train ride via money in his pocket that was borrowed from Eugene without permission and urinates in one of the train's seats]

[Cut to: Eugene violently tugs on the person who dressed up as Santa Claus' fake beard]

Person dressed up as Santa: "Ouch! Don't pull on my beard, child. That's not nice."

Eugene: "REST IN SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER!"

[Eugene finally rips off the person's fake beard]

Eugene: (using a toy megaphone) "SANTA'S A FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! Run for your lives! Santa Claus is a fake! There is no such thing as Santa!"

[The children in line scream and cry]

[Hayleigh is seen with the other PETA members protesting in front of the fur store]

[Hayleigh is holding a sign that reads "Only animals should wear fur", while a male with glasses holds a sign that reads "Fur is murder", and a female with blonde hair holds a sign that reads "Fur out, love in".]

Hayleigh: "Keep in mind guys, if someone wants in the store, we let them in, We don't want to cause any trouble."

Male: "Okay."

[A woman goes up to the fur store]

Hayleigh: "It's okay! It's peaceful protesting, no yelling anti-animal abuse stuff, you can come in."

Woman: "Thank you, but why?"

Hayleigh: "Me and my friends heard reports of PETA members who were placed under house arrest for attacking fur or leather-wearing people in malls and cities, And I know attacking people for wearing animal clothes is wrong."

Woman: "Don't worry, the fur and leather sold at the shop is all fake."

[Meanwhile, Kevin escorts Eugene from the person dressed as Santa]

Kevin: "Do you realize that you made other kids cry because of what you said?"

Eugene: "I don't give a shit, and there is no such thing as Santa anyway!"

Kevin: "Eugene, language! Now the kids don't believe in Santa. Anyway, you must hold my hand for the rest of the shopping trip, and do NOT let go until we get back to the van. Okay?"

[Eugene begins bawling]

Carmen: "Next year, we are doing our Christmas shopping online, Kevin."

Kevin: "Good idea, Carmen. Now Eugene doesn't believe in Santa."

[David runs to GameStop]

The Elf on the Shelf
[Carmen and Kevin arrive with a box containing an elf on the shelf and its book]

Going to a Ski Resort
Nicole: "Carmen and Kevin booked a trip to Mohawk Mountain Ski Area to spend Christmas there."