Mark Slater's Entitled Parent Story

Religious Nut-job family accuses me and my friend of being Satanists because we were wearing heavy metal shirts, then mock Devici's little brother for being bisexual
Hi, I'm Mark Slater. For those who don't know, I'm the eldest child of the Slater Family and I love heavy metal music. My favorite metal genres are death metal and black metal. I will be creating this blog on all the entitled parents I've come across. Inspired by Maria Tachimi's blog on the same stuff. Now let's begin this shit show!

Characters:

Me (Mark)

Devici

EF (Entitled Father)

EM (Entitled Mother)

Our first story starts off in Panda Express. Me and my friend Devici were eating there, catching up with our lives. For this story, I was wearing a black Gorgoroth shirt and Devici was wearing a the shirt for the album cover of Iron Maiden's "The Number of the Beast". Next to us was this family who was wearing clothing from the 1800s. Looking back, they may have been Amish, but we live in Washington. Plus, I don't think the Amish would go out to eat at Panda Express.

Anyway, the dad comes to our table to say this:

EF: Excuse me, but you boys need to take off those shirts right now! These bands are turning you into Satanists!

Right off the bat, they're going for the classic "heavy metal music makes you a satan lover!!!!!!!11" excuse. Yeah, plenty of the metal songs I've listened to have Satanic references. It's especially prominent in black metal. However, neither me nor Devici were Satanists, and I doubt that the members of Iron Maiden were Satanists, since Nicko McBrain is a Christian.

EM: My husband is right. You teens reject God and that is wrong. Don't come here again until you confess to your sins and start listening to more appropriate bands like Imagine Dragons.

Imagine Dragons? I'm sorry, but Imagine Dragons is one of the most generic, commercial, and bland bands I've ever listened to. It makes Nickelback look awesome in comparison! At that point, I had to step in.

Me: You think we're rabid? You're the type to take your kids to these gay conversion camps that abuse kids out of profit!

Devici: I agree! My brother is bisexual, and he almost killed himself because of it!

Yeah, Devici's younger brother is bi, and he got a lot of shit at school because of it. If it weren't for the support of Devici, he might not be living right now. Devici is a tough guy, but he doesn't like to talk about that incident much.

EF: Well you know what? Tell your brother to start liking girls more often! Homosexuality is a sin! It says so in the Bible!

Me: Oh really? Name a verse in the Bible that specifically says that homosexuality is a sin!

That's when the family went silent, then took their crap and went to sit on a table far away from us. At that point, me and Devici were laughing our heads off. We've come across these types of people before, but this was the first time we finally proved one of those idiots that they were wrong. Normally, they're too close-minded to even listen to our opinions.

Moral: Never fuck with a metalhead whose sibling is LGBT.

Karen flips her shit at my friend's birthday party because we blasted Morbid Angel at the park
Characters:

Me (Mark)

Harold

Karen

CG (Cool Guy)

This happened in the local park. I was with one of my friends Harold. Harold is into thrash and speed metal. We were there celebrating his 16th birthday, and I requested the DJ to play Morbid Angel's "Immortal Rites". He agreed and we were having a good time. Suddenly, we were approached by a middle-aged white woman who looked like a Karen (hence why I'm calling her Karen here).

Karen: I didn't knew they allowed Satanists in the park! Turn off that devil's music and put on Yoko Ono!

Yoko Ono? Is she serious right now? All she does in her music is either sing mediocrity, or scream like an ass! And let's not forget the time that she drugged John Lennon. So much for being lovely...

Me: You seriously want us to put on that crackhead's music? Go take that shit somewhere else!

Harold: Yeah! Besides, I'm not much of a fan of the Beatles anyway.

Karen: YOU STUPID IDIOTS!!! YOU KIDS NOWADAYS HAVE NO TASTE IN MUSIC AT ALL!!! I BET YOU ACT RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL TO YOUR PARENTS JUST LIKE YOU ARE DOING TO ME RIGHT NOW!!!

Yeah, I really don't need to explain how stupid this is. Not to mention that she was screaming this in a whining tone. While she was giving us a big performance on how NOT to win an Oscar, CG comes to save the day!

CG: What seems to be the problem?

Karen: These idiots are playing black metal music and are disrespecting good musicians! Tell them to go away right now!

Side note: Morbid Angel is death metal, not black metal. How would she know what black metal is anyway? Does she listen to it secretly?

Harold: That's not true. We were having a good time, and she came to harass us and try to disrupt my birthday party.

CG: Yeah, I work here, and they do have a right to play the music.

Karen: I HATE THIS!!! YOU ALWAYS GOTTA SIDE WITH THE MINORITIES!!!

What minorities? 95% of the people in that party were white. Only a handful of us in the party were different races.

Anyway, she stormed off, pissed that she didn't get to wreck a party. We thanked CG for helping us, and we continued with the party. It was an amazing time overall.

6IX9INE fan interrupts heavy metal concert to show the crowd "real music"
Characters:

Me

Geoffrey Hikens (vocalist)

6IX9INE Kid

I was traveling to Seattle because a band was playing at the Metal n' Beer Bar. The bar is known for bringing in local heavy metal bands in the venue to preform. This one was named "Slay the Angels", and the band played a mix of death metal and grindcore. One of the members that was performing was Geoffrey Hikens. I met Hikens before, and he's a pretty nice guy. I was excited to see the band in action.

The concert started as normal. They were playing a song called "Exodus at Bay", and boy do the guitar riffs go fast! We were having a great time, with a mosh pit and stage divers and everything.

Suddenly, this kid comes up and makes the band members stop the music. He looked to be 13-14 years old and was wearing a Rich the Kid shirt with hair that looked like it was stolen from Justin Bieber.

6IX9INE Kid: Attention everyone! You all think you're so bad and cool just because you listen to stupid rock! You need to listen to 6IX9INE! He is awesome!

6IX9INE? No thank you! Not only did that Skittle threw his entire team under the bus during his testimony, but he also plead guilty to sexual assault against a minor! Yet, a lot of people aren't concerned about the pedo shit and more on the fact that he snitched. He's one of the many reasons why I hate rap!

But next thing we knew, that boy pulled out his phone and started playing this song named "GOOBA". God it was ass! His screaming didn't fit well with the beat, and don't even get me started with the music video! It's enough to make a person go blind! Geoffrey, not wanting the crowd to be traumatized, took the phone from the kid's hands and turned off the music.

Geoffrey: Look, we're trying to perform here, and we don't appreciate you trying to ruin it. Please get off the stage.

Geoffrey was trying to reason with the kid, since he was young. Trust me, if that was an adult, he would've gotten his ass handled!

6IX9INE Kid: Wow! Sucks that you people don't know what real music is!

Me: Real music my ass! He raped a child, dipshit!

The crowd laughed at my comment, and the kid was escorted out of the bar by security. The concert continued as normal, and after it ended, I went up to Geoffrey to get his autograph for the CD of their most recent album, as well as talk about that weird kid.

Me: I honestly didn't knew kids this young were listening to atrocious rappers like 6IX9INE. Seriously, where are their parents?

Geoffrey: Yeah, if that kid was my son, I would feel ashamed!

My awful experience at TT10 base
Basically, me and my family were traveling to the Team Terrific 10 base as a way to introduce ourselves to the locals there and possibly join their army. I thought that was ridiculous, since they actually allow 6 year olds to join. Nevertheless, we went there anyway.

I went to the Black Heaven Hideout since it was a cool place. I saw a little girl sleeping, and I figure I prank her. So I got out my boombox and started playing Beherit's "The Gate of Nanna". Beherit is an underrated black metal band from Finland, and boy do their songs slap! I have the "The Oath of Black Blood" compilation on the original 1991 vinyl, and it's great!

Anyway, after she woke up and started screaming for her dad, her father comes in, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the shit out of it! He was acting like those hitmen from Pulp Fiction! That's when the confrontation started.

Her father was this Chinese man that had long hair and wore some kind of vampire-like clothes, At first, I thought he was the mother until he started speaking.

Mark: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!?!

Lei: You woke my daughter up, Mark!

Mark: How the hell do you know who I am?

Lei: I've seen the episode of your family. It's a joke!

This happened after the Supernanny episode of our family aired on TV. It was still pretty recent, and I heard it got banned in some places. Pissed that he called my family a joke, I went on to say this:

Mark: At least I'm not a weeafuck J*p like you!

Yeah, I called him a J*p. Let me put out that record that I am not a racist. It was in the heat of the moment, and I was extremely pissed that he broke my boombox. However, he got triggered and proceeded to grab me by the neck and slam me on the wall!

Lei: “I’m Macau Chinese, Not Japanese, Bastard.”

Excuse me, but how was I suppose to know he was from Macau? I pushed him away and gave him a piece of my mind.

Mark: (pushing Lei away) WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT?!?! YOU GET TRIGGERED MORE EASILY THAN A LIBERAL!!! YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER OWE ME A NEW BOOMBOX, FUCKER!!!

Lei: “No way, You woke her up!”

At that point, my mom came and apologized to Lei, and I just left out of anger. That piece of scum fuck still owes me a new boombox to this day!

Later on, I went to a building where people come and study and whatnot. I overheard "Pandemic" by Accept. I'm not the biggest fan of them, but I do enjoy their albums "Blood of the Nations" and "Balls to the Wall". I went to the source of the song to see a girl read a JoJo's Bizzare Adventures manga. I decided to give her a chit-chat.

Mark: (arriving) Yo, is that Accept?

BE!Maria: Yes. Do you like Accept?

Mark: I do, but I mainly listen to black and death metal.

BE!Maria: Can you show me the songs you listen to?

Mark: No, because some jackass decided to shoot my fucking boombox just because I blasted some Beherit and called him a J*p!

Yeah, I couldn't resist telling her that incident with the psycho. I was hoping she'd side with me, but something else happened.

BE!Maria: Was he Lei? Because he’s not Japanese, he’s also a sociopath.

Mark: Well I guess it was him. Still, even if I didn’t know he was Macau Chinese, how was I suppose to know? All Asians are the same, anyway!

BE!Maria: Excuse me? I'm Asian too, well half-Asian, and we're not all the same. There is a difference between A Macau person and a Japanese person. I'm Japanese-American.

Again, I'm not a racist, but I was still pissed about the boombox at the time. Nowadays, I know plenty of differences from Asians, and I'm mostly interested in Japanese and Chinese culture.

Mark: That's nice. Now can we listen to some Darkthrone?

BE!Maria: “Err, not right now, I only listen to that when in a pissed off mood, so no.”

Mark: Well, okay. At least you didn't destroy my property nor assault me!

BE!Maria: Also, while you're here, please don't go near Michael McNamara.

Mark: Why?

BE!Maria: Because he eats human souls. He also uses his powers to “see”, he’s blind.

Wait, there's a guy who eats human souls? The fuck?

Mark: So you have human-eating people here? That's just ridiculous!

BE!Maria: Well welcome to the Team Terrific 10 base!

Mark: Well I think there's one thing I would wanna eat...

BE!Maria: Wait, what are you doing?

Mark: I was wondering if you can be my... girlfriend...

Yeah, I know I'm looking like Bill Cosby with that attitude, but damn was she hot! That black leather jacket was kinda revealing, and she was spreading those legs! She was just asking to be ra- oh great. Sorry, I just get a little too crazy with BE!Maria sometimes. She reminded me of Lzzy Hale.

BE!Maria: Already have a boyfriend, trust me. You don’t wanna cross him.

I ignored that, and I proceeded to touch her breasts, leading to her to slap me.

BE!Maria: Are you fucking serious?! I thought you were cool!

Mark: Come on, babe, you know I'd be willing to try out some Japanese pussy!

BE!Maria: NO! Aren't you, like, 17?!

Mark: I don't give a damn! I'd like to lose my virginity to a hot girl like you!

Looking back, I knew I shouldn't had tried to do that. However, the sick sex freak of me just couldn't resist! I think I need to get a chastity cage...

BE!Maria: You have five seconds to get away, or I'll call up Longwei!

Mark: Go ahead! I don't give a damn!

BE!Maria: Longwei! Get over here!

If I had to do it over again, I would've just left right then and there. However, I wanted to see this so-called tough BF she had, and there he came!

From what I was told, he’s Taiwanese-American man born in Chicago.

Longwei: “Hey baby, what’s going on?”

BE!Maria: “He touched me inappropriately.”

Mark: Yeah I touched your girl, but she's was just too damn hot!

He then pointed a gun at me, Fucking asshole.

Longwei: “You have five minutes to leave, Maria is my baby, you hurt her, I’ll shoot your dick off.”

Yep! He points a gun at me and threatens to shoot my dick off if I don't GTFO! Now who's the crazier one here? Me, touching a girl's breast out of fun, or a sociopathic BF who points guns at any guy who just looks at her?

Long story short, I left there, still wanting my dick, and I spent the rest of my time at the karaoke building, where I sung heavy metal songs to those who are metal fans. Actually, a lot of them were into metalcore and nu metal. Guess they haven't heard of Megadeth.

However, it ended with my family coming in telling me I had to go in the office for a meeting. The higher ups heard about all the crazy shit we've done, and now they're pissed!

Longwei: I'm very disappointed in your behavior! Mark, why would you do that?”

Mark: I was just listening to some Beherit, first off, and I was just messing around with her. Lei took it way too damn far and broke my fucking boombox! I demand you punish him and make him buy me a new boombox!

Longwei: “But you also called him a Jap, He’s not even Japanese, He speaks fuckin’ Cantonese.“

Mark: How the fuck was I suppose to tell?

Longwei: “There’s a difference between a Macau Chinese and a Japanese.”

Mark: Whatever, jack off!

Of all the people who had to say that, why the same guy who wanted to shoot my dick off? Guess he's into CBT!

Longwei: You also tried to hit on my girl BE!Maria! Why?

Mark: But she was hot! Even though she was defending Lei, I'd figure we'd fuck together!

Longwei: Mark, she doesn't like to have sex with anyone other than me!. Especially since she was almost raped as a 17-year old girl!

Wait, she was raped around my aged? Now I kinda felt bad of trying to fuck her. No wonder she was so pissed! Then, Lei came and said this to my mom:

Lei: “You people know, I have antisocial personality disorder or sociopathy, I am nothing like your kids, Mine was worsened by prolonged abuse.”

He's a bigger sociopath than Bill? Yes, Bill is a diagnosed sociopath, and I thought he was the biggest asshole. With all the shit they've been through before, I'm surprised none of them fully went insane! Oh, and BE!Maria came and said this to me:

BE!Maria: And Mark, if you ever try to hit on me again by touching me inappropriately, I will beat you up! I am part of a gang, you know! All of the women in my gang are not to be messed with. I am thankful you didn’t do this to Tanisha or Jiayi!”

She's in a gang? And she's glad I didn't do to other minors? Sorry, but I'm not a pedophile! Also didn't knew you were in a gang! Actually, with all the crimes you've committed, how are you not in jail?

Mark: Whatever, but if you still want a piece of my dick, you know who to call!

I tried to give BE!Maria my phone number, but she ripped up the paper.

BE!Maria: “Longwei is my babe, got it? Besides, he’s already taken what’s his.

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking doing that. I also found out that Stacy got too close to Michael McNamara, causing him to flip his shit and spawned some demons or something, I was later told he uses them to ”see” his surroundings due to an eye condition. He did made a good point that mom needed to discipline her. She always lets Stacy get away with everything, and me and Bill are honestly sick of it!

Long story short, we got kicked out, and we weren't allowed to join. Honestly, I'm kinda glad we didn't join, because god forbid I had to go into war with kids at an age where they should be watching PAW Patrol...

Beyonce fan tries to steal my Cannibal Corpse CD
Characters:

Me

BF (Beyonce Fan)

CC (Cool Cashier)

This happened at a record store. I just bought the original 1990 CD of Cannibal Corpse's "Eaten Back to Life" album. Before that, I had a limited edition picture disc of the album from 2013, though I do prefer CDs for the better quality. I bought it, and I asked the owner if I can listen to the album on the CD player they had, which he said yes. He also likes heavy metal too, so it worked.

We were jamming out, when we saw this woman who was carrying a basket of a bunch of Beyonce albums. She looked to be in her early 20s, and had the god awful pink dyed hair. It reminded me of Stacy's hair.

BF: Ugh, that song is so offensive! How is this band not banned?

Actually, their songs were banned in Germany and Russia. When they performed in Russia, the authorities raided the entire concert because of rumors of drugs being passed around there. Seriously, Russians don't fuck around when it comes to drugs, despite being vodka addicts!

Me: Well if you don't like the music, you don't have to listen to it. Just tune it out.

BF: That's not an option! I'm only here to get my Beyonce stuff! She is a real musician, unlike that speed metal!

Speed metal? Since when was Cannibal Corpse a speed metal band?

CC: M'am, it's not a big deal. Now please step here to purchase your stuff.

BF: NO!!! As a matter of fact, give me that awful CD!

She then yanked the CD out of the player and took a run for it! Really? Steal a CD that I just bought? What good would that do? Me and CC were chasing her, trying to get the CD! She then tripped and fell, letting go of the CD. I ran straight towards it, and I didn't found any scratches. Thank god, since the original CD was the only one they had in stock.

Me: You're lucky this isn't broken! Otherwise I would've fucked you up!

BF: I DON'T CARE!!! YOU SHOULDN'T BE LISTENING TO THAT AWFUL BAND!!!

CC: It's one thing to dislike a band, but to try and steal someone else's CD is just wrong.

CC banned the woman from the store and couldn't pay for her shit.

This is just another example of how ridiculous these anti-metal people are. No sane and reasonable person would do that!

User on Metal Archives rages at users over rejected review, then gets banned
This is the first time I get to talk about the Metal Archives, since nobody else gives a shit about it for some reason. The Metal Archives is a site where people can add in bands from all kinds of metal genres, as well as post reviews of albums. Now the site has a strict code on what they consider metal, so don't expect assfuck bands like Slipknot and My Chemical Romance in there anytime soon. Plus, they also have some standards on the reviews, so the archives aren't flooded with a bunch of one-word shitty reviews. Despite these seemingly strict rules, the mods are pretty nice, and as long as you aren't wrecking havoc, you'll have a good time.

Now I'm a user there, and I got around 6000 points (my rank is "Metal Freak"). I mainly just add a bunch of black metal/death metal bands from the Pacific Northwest (the region where I live), as well as post reviews on a bunch of albums, from the mega-successes of Megadeth, to that one obscure death metal demo from 1992, I've reviewed them all. I'm well known on the site, and I've helped many users there on reviews and band submissions.

But enough about my time there, and time for the main story. In the forums, we have a thread called "The Review Feedback Workshop". Here, users can post their reviews so others can critique them on how to improve them and have them be accepted. There was this one user named "gogokerryking188" who posted this:

''What the goddamn shit?!?! I submitted a review on Slayer's "Reign in Blood" album, and it got rejected because I didn't "describe the music enough". The gay ass mod who rejected is named [REDACTED]. Please fix it for me or I will go Angel of Death on his gay ass!''

REVIEW:

''Slayer's "Reign in Blood" is awesome! Angel of Death is an amazing song with ass kicking riffs and extreme vocals! Raining Blood is also cool! The rain gives in an ambient mood, and the drums beat like craaaaaaaaazy! Everything else is perfection of perfection! Go buy it now!!!''

Yeah, uh, that's not acceptable. Plus, he was talking trash to a mod. I quoted his post and said this:

''I understand you're frustrated, but try to refrain from raging like that. The mods especially don't appreciate it when it's on them.''

''As for your review, it was way too damn short! I'm sorry, but you just barely described the music, as all you said in one song is that it had "ass kicking riffs and extreme vocals". Try going into a bit more details, like what makes the vocals extreme?''

''Also, the mods sometimes grade on a curve. Since many users have already reviewed the album, their standards would be higher so as the reviews don't get repetitive with similar-sounding stuff. Put some more effort in your review, and it might be acceptable.''

You'd think he'd follow the rules and fix it up, right? If that was the case, I wouldn't be typing this story right now. Gogokerryking188 then replied with this:

''Grade on a curve?! What the fucking hell!!! There are far worse reviews that got accepted! Why isn't mine accepted?! There are other accepted reviews just like mine! If you're gonna accept those, accept mine as well jackasses!''

Yeah, no. If there are others like that, I would've posted them on the Oven Fodder thread and have the mods get rid of them. At that point, a mod came and said this:

''Dude, you're review is clearly unacceptable. And then you wanna come and call the mod that rejected that review a "gay ass"? Just follow Mark's advice and it might be approved.''

Soon, another user said this:

''I agree. I've gotten some of my reviews rejected, but I don't cuss out the mods. I post them here, ask politely what is wrong with it, and people will give me suggestions, and I use them to improve the review and get it accepted.''

Despite everyone telling him to calm down and fix the review, gogokerryking188 had other plans. He responded with this:

''FUCK MY ASS!!! YOU ARE ALL HYPOCRITES!!! YOU TALK ABOUT BEING MATURE AND FIXING REVIEWS, BUT I BET WHEN YOUR REVIEWS GOT REJECTED, YOU WERE PISSED AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN ONLY BE CALM WITH YOU PEOPLE FOR SO LONG!!! I GOT SEVERE ANGER ISSUES!!! DON'T FUCK WITH ME!!! I'VE ALREADY SUBMITTED THE REVIEW IN 100 ALBUMS!!! THE MODS BETTER ACCEPT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AND GIVE ME 8 POINTS FOR EACH REVIEW OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL HACK THIS SITE AND KILL YOU ALL!!!''

Do I really need to explain how immature this is? That's when I said this:

''Okay, I think we're done here. I'm not gonna be helpful with you if you're gonna be like this. Also, if you're spamming your review on a bunch of non-related albums, then I can gets the mods to ban you for spam. Is this really how you want this to go? Attack us all with an extreme meltdown that leaves the rest of the user base seeing you as an example of what not to do when their review gets rejected?''

That's when he posts with this:

''NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE NOT DONE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS ARE NOT GONNA SEE A "MELTDOWN". THEY ARE GONNA SEE SOMEONE BEING VICIOUSLY ATTACKED AND ASSAULTED OVER A REJECTED REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANNA BE ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE OPPRESSED AND CENSORED BY DICTATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST. ACCEPT. MY. FUCKING. REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''

Wow. Was all of that shit necessary? We gave him constructive criticism on how to fix his review, and he wants to throw a meltdown over it? This is something Stacy would do!

Long story short, gogokerryking188 was banned from the site and the forums for his rude behavior as well as spamming his poor excuse of a review in exactly 165 albums (the mod counted them all).

Now let me be clear: gogokerryking188 does not represent all the users on MA. 99% of the users there are pretty relaxed, but you always get those couple of dicks who have to ruin the fun.

And to end off this section, here's what a mod said right after gogokerryking188's last post:

OK Karen.

Rangerphile flips me off for not liking Korn and his sick obsession, then plays victim after I confront him
Before we get into this one, I gotta explain what a Rangerphile is. Taken from Encyclopedia Dramatica, though this version is edited.

''Rangerphile is the term used to describe the sick mess of a person that is best described as the unique combination of a furry and a rabid Christian, or possibly as a web 1.0 version of a Sonic fan or a Brony. These people -- if they may be called that -- engage in a pathological sexual practice known as Rangerphilia, which consists of insatiable perversion directed at the characters from the shitty Disney cartoon series Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers.''

''This show, which was not nearly as good as its contemporaries, is actually something of an embarrassment in the Disney canon (which is really fucking saying something), owing to the fact that it was just so goddamn awful. Many children who watched the show can't even remember anything about it, save for the theme song that was so soul-destroying with its annoyance it drove some adults to suicide. You could consider Rangerphiles to be bronies 1.0, in that they are grown men obsessed with a show for children, although the Rangerphiles as a movement never gained the momentum or numbers that those horsefuckers have. Rangerphiles currently campaign for "Rangerphilia" to be a sexual orientation -- a very strange thing to note, as Rangerphiles are virulently homophobic. They're also rabid Christians and are obsessed with this character named Gadget Hackwrench, who constantly has porn made of her 24/7. This is all combined to make one shitty fanbase.''

Okay, now that we got that out the way, let's get to the story.

Characters:

ME

RP (Rangerphile)

CC (Cool Clerk)

I was going out shopping at Target. Since this happened during the COVID-19 pandemic, I was wearing a mask and keep a distance from others. As I was getting my items checked out, there was this weird guy who was incredibly obese and has this awful stench. I could smell that shit from my mask! He was also carrying a body pillow of Gadget Hackwrench, who was showing off her junk like a prostitute! Soon, we decided to try and have a chat with me.

RP: Hey, you seem like a metalhead.

I was wearing an Exodus shirt at the time, so I can see where he was coming from. Possibly being a metalhead as well, I responded.

Me: Yeah, I'm a metalhead. You like metal?

RP: Hell yeah! Korn is the best metal band ever!

Korn? A metal band? Excuse me, but what the shit? Korn is probably one of the worst nu metal bands I've ever heard. These guys just shout and play these "hardcore guitar riffs" in hopes of looking tough. In the end, they look more like white rappers who probably listened to too much Limp Bizkit and Eminem.

Me: I'm sorry, dude, but Korn is nu metal, and nu metal isn't metal. Besides, I'm surprised you listen to that, especially since you still watch a crappy kids show!

RP: Excuse me?! I sexually identify as a rangerphile, and I have a sexual relationship with Gadget Hackwrench.

Yeah, don't ask me why this guy got into a relationship with a fictional character. I've seen these people on the Internet all the time. Recently, I came across a nerdy kid who was literally married to Mistress 9 from Sailor Moon. That sick fuck had the paperwork and everything! I don't know which country he went to to get those papers. Maybe he married her to Japan. Anyway, back to the story.

Me: How the fuck are you in a relationship with her? She isn't even real!

RP: HOW DARE YOU!!!

That's when the jackass thought it would be a genius idea to flip me off. What. The. Ass. Does this guy know any manners? That's when I decided to confront him about it.

Me: Are you fucking serious right now?! Just because someone doesn't like Korn and is against your shitty relationship doesn't mean you flip me off like that! Did your parents not spank your ass hard enough?!

I guess the tone I gave nearly made him shit his pants, because he started whining and hugging his disgusting body pillow tightly.

RP: CLERK!!! This man is intimidating me! He is African-American, and is armed! Stop him!

African-American? Armed? What the fuck? Is he mentally unstable? That would probably explain the rangerphilia and thinking Korn is metal. The clerk, however, saw everything, and he wasn't having any of that fucker's shit.

CC: I saw everything. You shouldn't be flipping people off like that and getting all angry. And accusing him of being black and armed is one of the worst things I've seen a customer do. Shut up and wait in line or you can leave. Your choice.

The sick fuck eventually shut his trap, and I continued with getting my items and leaving. I don't know if he lives in my area or not, but if I see him again, I might have to burn his body pillow.

Crazy kid pisses off her mom by playing death metal songs during a live stream and ruins the food
I've been watching this channel called "Nicole's Epic Live Streams". It's this channel about a mother who live streams her daily life. It sounds boring, but each of the kids are special in one way, and it's just so damn entertaining! However, there was this one child named Abby that keeps on causing trouble...

One day, Nicole was having a live stream where she is cooking the kids food. This happened during the COVID-19 pandemic, so she had to get the ingredients via online delivery. During the stream, however, one of the kids named Abby came up and wanted to have some fun.

Abby: Remember me, mommy?

Nicole: Oh god, it's you again! What do you want?

Abby: I want you to hear this new music I'm getting into.

She then got out her phone and play Suffocation's "Effigy of the Forgotten". Abby has revealed to the viewers before that she started getting into heavy metal, and her favorite genres of metal were thrash, death, and black metal. Until that point however, Nicole wasn't aware that her daughter was listening to metal.

Nicole: ABBY!!! TURN OFF THAT MUSIC RIGHT NOW!!!

Abby: Fuck no! As a matter of fact, this food is fucked!

She then takes the pot of the soup and dumps that shit on the floor! She does the same to the other food and then plays around on it like pigs playing in the mud. Abby loves to mess up other people's food for some reason, and doing that and blasting heavy metal is her favorite things to do when pissing off people.

During this shitfest, Nicole attempted to stop her, but Abby is a fast runner, and whenever Nicole grabbed her, Abby would bite her arm, causing her to let go and Abby runs off once again.

Eventually, Nicole's husband Jerry came and confronted Abby.

Jerry: Abby! What are you doing with mommy?!

Abby: Piss off, you fucking jackass! I hope you go die in a fire!

Jeff: No! In fact, you need to leave now!

Jeff pulls out her phone and plays Death Grips's "I've Seen Footage". For some reason, Abby can't stand Death Grips, mainly because she thinks MC Ride is weird and she thinks their songs are "a dumb mix between rap, rock, and electronic crap!" I don't like Death Grips either, but I'll admit, I did enjoy their album "The Money Store".

Anyway, Abby was scarred from the music and ran out of the kitchen. Nicole high-fived Jeff for getting rid of her and apologized to the viewers. She then said that she'll find a way to stop Abby from misbehaving, then stopped the stream.

I thought what Abby did was hilarious. That's what Nicole got for being such an ass lately.

Hardcore punk fan tries to convince us that Black Flag and Minor Threat are metal bands, then destroys my friend's Bluetooth speaker because we were playing Carcass
What happens when a hardcore punk fan tries to convince us that some punk bands are metal, despite them not being such? Let's find out!

Characters:

Me

Devici

HPF (Hardcore Punk Fan)

Me and Devici were at the park. He brought a Bluetooth speaker with him, which was pretty cool in a black/blood red color mix. He put on Carcass's "Surgical Steel" album, and the sound of it was beautiful. We were listening to it while brainstorming some ideas of a new blackened death metal band we were gonna create.

Then, we were approach by this guy who had the longest mohawk ever. It was in all kinds of color, and it was kinda hideous to look at. He was also wearing a shirt of Bad Brain's self-titled album with grey shorts and black sandals.

HPF: Excuse me, but what the hell are you two listening to?

By the way, he had this weird British accent that made it kinda hard for us to understand.

Me: It's Carcass's "Surgical Steel" album. It's a great mix between traditional heavy metal and death metal.

HPF: Really? You should try listening to Black Flag and Minor Threat. These bands are metal and are awesome!

Did he just seriously call Black Flag and Minor Threat "metal bands"? Now I have listened to both of these bands before, and they're not bad. It's just not my cup of tea.

Devici: I'm sorry kid, but they're not metal. Sure, they have some thrash influences, but they're still mainly hardcore punk.

HPF: Not true! Black Flag and Minor Threat are metal! Stop being close-minded and give them a chance!

Me: Me and Devici have listened to Black Flag and Minor Threat before, and they're not metal. I don't know what you're talking about.

HPF: OH YEAH?!?! WELL THIS CARCASS CRAP SUCKS!!!

Next thing we know, he grabs the speaker and slams it on the ground, destroying it. Now that was an ass move. It reminded me of when Lei shot my boombox over a petty prank.

Devici: What the hell was that for, man?!

HPF: I FUCKING HATE CARCASS!!! THEY'RE THE WORST BAND EVER!!! YOU METAL ELITIST ARE SO CLOSE-MINDED THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT THAT BLACK FLAG AND MINOR THREAT ARE METAL!!!

Me: Dude, you're the asshole that destroyed my friend's speaker for nothing, and you're the close-minded one for being an elitist and blowing up on two individuals just because they stated that some shitty punk bands aren't metal.

At this point, this shithead's parents arrive. They apologized to us and forced their son to buy Devici another speaker. I hope that boy got a good spanking.

Audiophile calls me racist because I don't own Japanese vinyls; thinks MP3s lose data overtime
Audiophiles are one of the worst people in the music industry. They're the type of people who spend their gas money on a bunch of overly-expensive music equipment just to get the "best sounding experience", and they shove their shitty beliefs down your throat. I came across one a while back, and it was horrible.

Characters:

Me

Audiophile

I was traveling to a music convention in Portland, Oregon. Basically, it's a place where music enthusiasts like me go and show off our music collection, as well as talk about music-related stuff. I brought in my rare black metal/death metal vinyls to show off for the metalheads. Many were especially surprised that I owned the original vinyl to Mayhem's "Dawn of the Black Hearts" bootleg. Only 300 of them were ever printed.

While things were going on, a guy approached my station. He looked like Anthony Fantano, but with medium-long hair and without the glasses, wore a shirt of the Nirvana logo, and had long pants with black Adidas. He also had this ridiculous info to share!

Audiophile: Ugh, this vinyl (he's talking about Dawn of the Black Hearts) looks hideous! Who this hell uses a dead body for an album cover?! And what the ass is that?

He points to a vinyl to Mortuary Drape's "All the Witches Dance".

Me: That's Mortuary Drape's "All the Witches Dance". It came out just a year before DOTBH, and it is said that the band members used an actual corpse for ritualistic and photo opportunity purposes.

Audiophile: Well that's ass! You got any vinyls from Japan? They have a better built and come with better sound!

Me: Uh, no. I don't own any Japanese vinyls at all.

And this is where shit starts to hit a fan...

Audiophile: Wow... I didn't knew they had racist asshole in this convention!

You hear that, folks? If you don't possess any vinyls imported from Japan, then you're a racist bigot! Honestly, this was ridiculous, and I had to call him out for it.

Me: Really? I'm not a racist, and I can't afford to pay the import tax.

Audiophile: Of course you can't afford it! I bet you also use MP3s!

Me: Oh, don't tell me you're one of those people...

One common sign for Audiophiles to do is complain about MP3 and claim that FLAC is better. And that's what this assfuck is about to do!

Audiophile: Come on, man! FLAC is so much better than MP3! It is ripped directly from a CD source, and it isn't compressed, so no audio files are lost, and it sounds better! With MP3s, however, not only do they sound horrible, but they also lose data over time!

Me: What the fuck are you trying to say?

Audiophile: Well, you see, FLAC uses lossless compression, while MP3 is 'lossy'. What this means is that for each year the MP3 sits on your hard drive, it will lose roughly 12kbps, assuming you have SATA - it's about 15kbps on IDE, but only 7kbps on SCSI, due to rotational velocidensity. You don't want to know how much worse it is on CD-ROM or other optical media.

Excuse me, but what the fuck? THIS IS WHAT AUDIOPHILES ACTUALLY BELIEVE!!! I'm sorry, but no sane person believes that MP3s lose data over time. This man has reached a new level of stupidity! It's the stupidity that can only be dreamed of by Fred Durst!

Me: Yeah, no. I've own some MP3 files over the years, and not a single byte was lost. I don't know where you got that info from, but you seriously need to do more homework. Besides, you only lose them if the harddrive is fucked up, which is very rare if you take care of it.

At that point, the audiofucker was defeated, he sighed, and walked away in shame.

Seriously though, I still don't own any Japanese vinyls, nor do I plan on getting them. I also don't plan on switching to FLAC anytime soon because not only can I not hear the additional audio files, but they take up too much fucking space! To end this off, here's a tutorial I made on how to troll these fuckers:


 * 1) Take some unpopular album from your music library. Ensure it isn't easily available in P2P networks.
 * 2) Make MP3 256kbps files from it and upload to rapidshare, mediafire, megaupload, bittorrent, etc.
 * 3) Audiophiles will start to ask for FLAC version. Make it:
 * 4) Make very low quality mp3s out of MP3-256s (encode in something like 32 kbps with constant bitrate (CBR))
 * 5) Re-encode those low-bitrate mp3s as .flac files and upload 'em (make sure to mark them as FLAC)
 * 6) Publish link to your "lossless" version as response to audiophiles' complaints.
 * 7) Pseudoaudiophiles will be very satisfied with sound quality improvement.
 * 8) PROFIT!
 * 1) PROFIT!

The worst review on Metal Archives
Another story about some shit on the Metal Archives, yay...

You know what's the worst review on the Metal Archives site? No, it's not UltraBoris's review where he gives Master of Puppets a 0%, but this is one about a guy who gave Darkthrone's "Under a Funeral Moon" a 28%. He even titled the review as "This album does not deserve its cult status".

Now, I understand that people are entitled to their opinions and shit, and that it technically doesn't qualify as an entitled parent story, but some of the crap he said sounds like something a soccermom would said. And I'm here to roast it! The review will be in italics. Now let's go!

''I may be crucified for this. How dare I give a bad rating to this cult black metal album?''

Yeah, how dare you!

Well, at first, I like most of Darkthrone's albums:

The key word being "most".

A Blaze In The Northern Sky, my favourite being Panzerfaust, or Ravishing Grimness.

I'd prefer UAFM and TH. Also, I can tell he's from Europe because he spells favorite with a u.

In the most recent Darkthrone’s black'n'roll period, Circle the Wagons rises as their most impressive album in the decade.

That's nice, but Old Star is still better imo.

Darkthrone really deserve their status as one of the most influencial Norvegian band ever but this album does not.

99% of black metal fans like me call the album classic rightfully unlike you. Also, what the hell is "Norvegian"?

Under a Funeral Moon was the first Darkthrone album I listened to, shortly followed by Transilvanian Hunger.

You're doing it wrong! UAFM comes first!

I discovered black metal twenty years ago and I knew Darkthrone was the cult band you had to listen to.

As well as Mayhem, Burzum, Emperor, Immortal, and others.

''So I spinned this album dozens of times, trying to persuade myself I was enjoying it. The fact is: I was not enjoying Under a Funeral Moon.''

Have you tried listening to the album at 3 AM while in a wintry forest in Scandinavia?

I can't deny that this album possesses a grim and dark tone, which fitted very well in the 90s.

Everything dark and grim is fitted in any 90s culture.

But the overall sound is rather bland, even with a high volume it never managed to impress the listener as the production is really weak.

You're complaining about the production being weak? It's a black metal album, damnit! You expect clean production like the many stale death metal albums from the late 90s and early 2000s?

Guitars, on one hand, sound good with a very sharp tone, simple yet hypnotic riffing.

The guitars hypnotized me, dude!

On the other hand, the bass lines are almost non-existent (non-hearable) and never achieved to sublime the guitars work.

Trve kvlt bands don't use bass at all.

The drums are distant, quite sloppy with very simple and repetitive patterns.

Aren't they all?

Nocturno Culto did a good job, his vocals have nothing special but he has a unique signature and you recognize him very easily.

How can not so special vocals be unique? As you can see, the reviewer doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

The vocals sound good and do not take precedence over music, which is appreciable with this low intrumentation output.

What the fuck did he just say?

So this album is all about the guitars work and vocals, with a low production and repetitive riffs.

Pretty much. Get used to it if you're gonna be listening to more black metal.

Actually Under a Funeral Moon sounds like other Darkthrone albums, so where is the problem?

The problem is that this guy is deaf, and is just making shit up to try and make a point.

It just brought nothing to black metal.

To quote John Cena, "Are you sure about that?"

Songs on A Blaze In The Northern Sky are more memorable, with a better songwriting, the production being almost the same.

ABITNS is more of a baseline for UAFM, though ABITNS is still pretty good.

So why Under a Funeral Moon is that praised?

Because UAFM is an improvement to the pervious album, which you failed to notice.

Maybe it was just released at the perfect time and got more recognition.

Oh yeah, it was released to same time where Varg killed Euronymous. What's he gonna say, "Darkthrone is capitalizing off the controversy"?

The same applies for Transilvanian Hunger, which is a little better and then the band only changed its direction with Panzerfaust.

At least with TH, one of the songs was written in honor of Pelle Ohlin.

Under a Funeral Moon is not as good as the previous and following albums, never overshadowing them.

But it has the darkest cover of them all!

Back on this album concrete content, the title track and Unholy Black Metal are the real downsides as they are mostly uninspired with very little variation and are the songs in which the drums patterns are the least impressive.

Those are like my favorite songs off the album, you dickfuck!

The best song on this album is To Walk the Infernal Fields and sounds like Bathory’s Enter the Eternal Fire.

That song and Enter the Eternal Fire do not sound alike. Now I'm starting to seriously think this guy is deaf.

I’m certain Fenriz and Nocturno Culto listened to a lot of Bathory before being Darkthrone and before writing music, but first Bathory’s black metal albums were released ten years before.

UAFM came out in 1993, and this kid thinks Bathory's black metal albums came out in 1983. You're just one year off!

I don't know if people who praise this album nowadays still like it or just remember the first time they listened to it and consider it as a memory of the 90s black metal.

It's both for many.

But I can't imagine a neophyte in black metal could be able to listen to this record now and feel the same as when it was released.

I was still new to black metal when I first listened to this album, and I liked it.

I know this album inspired hundreds of bands, just look at the amount of covers you can find.

Name them then.

This album was lucky to get so much hype where A Blaze in the Northern Sky deserved much, much more.

Honestly, all the albums deserve so much hype, but that's just me.

As stated before, maybe you have to praise this album to be considered as an honorable metalhead but after all, black metal is about the freedom of mind and speech, so today am I the blasphemer among the blasphemers?

Yep. Because you think a classic black metal album like UAFM is shit, I'm revoking your honorary metalhead status. Go back to listening to mallcore, Fred Durst!

Batshit insane SJW accuses me of being a white supremacist because I wore a Burzum shirt
Characters:

Me

SJW

Cool Clerk (CC)

In this story, I was going in Target because my cousin's birthday was coming up, and he requested that he get a vinyl of Marilyn Manson's "WE ARE CHAOS" album that was recently released. I don't listen to Manson that often, but I thought Antichrist Superstar was decent.

I was at check-out when this woman with hideous neon green hair came up to me.

SJW: Excuse me, but is that a Burzum shirt you're wearing?

Me: Yes. It is the album cover of Burzum's "Daudi Baldrs". (For reference, this was the shirt I was wearing)

SJW: Are you serious?! That man is a neo-Nazi and white supremacist! You're probably one too!

Oh my god... she's really gonna call him a Nazi and white supremacist? And she's gonna accuse me of being one just because I listen to his music? Talk about being absurd. As a matter of fact, Varg himself was never truly a Nazi or white supremacist. At worst, he was just an angsty teen who wanted to look cool and edgy, and even in moments where it did seem like he a bit of a jackass when it came to other races, he stated that he doesn't believe in those statements anymore. He still does lean right on the political spectrum though.

Me: Ma'am, how do you know that I'm a Nazi? Just because I listen to bands like Burzum doesn't mean I think white power is "best power". Also, I fucking hate NSBM, Nazi punk, and RAC because that's where most of the shitty Nazi asswipes are at.

SJW: Well Burzum still falls into NSBM, because he killed Euronymous for being black!

Euronymous was black? What the fuck was that lady smoking that day?

Me: Excuse me, but last time I check, Euronymous wasn't black. I don't agree with Varg killing him, but his music still slaps!

SJW: That's the thing! You're more concerned about the "music" rather than support good artists! Why don't you listen to ABBA or Taylor Swift?!

At that point, CC heard everything and stepped in.

CC: Excuse me, but can you please stop harassing this young man? Just because he listens to black metal doesn't make him a Nazi. Believe me, I used to be into black metal, though I'm nowadays into punk rock and nu metal.

The SJW sighed, and just went to a different clerk.

That was like the second time some lunatic was trying to start shit with me in Target. The other time was with the Rangerphile, and God knows where the hell he's been. However, I was still able to buy the vinyl and give it to my cousin, and he loved it.

1st Amendment Auditors try to rip up my friend's shirt; We beat their asses
You know what really grinds my gears? 1st Amendment Auditors, or as I'd like to call them: Frauditors.

These are the types of people who go inside a public building like a courthouse or post office, and film there while harassing people and shit. And when the police confront them, they cry, resist arrest, and even try to kill them! I've seen channels like Degeneration Nation and Schrodinger's Cat that showcase these jackasses, and they're kinda hilarious. However, me and my friend Devici came across them, and it was a shitty experience.

Characters:

Me

Devici

Frauditor #1

Fraudiotr #2

Post Office Employee (POE)

Cool Cop (CC)

So me and Devici were at the post office because we were gonna sale some CDs to a guy from eBay. While we're waiting, we see two guys who were carrying cameras and were basically filming people. They were going up close to some people!

Me: Excuse me, but I don't think you two should be recording here.

Frauditor #1: Said who?

Frauditor #2: Yeah! We're independent journalists covering a story!

Right off the bat, they're claiming they're "independent journalists" who are covering a story. What story are they covering that allows them to invade people's privacy?

At this point, POE arrives to try and stop them.

POE: Excuse me, but you two cannot film here.

Frauditor #1: Yes we can!

Frauditor #2: It is our first amendment right!

POE: No it isn't. The sign says you aren't allowed to film in a federal post office.

Frauditor #2: Fuck that shit! This is public property, and we can film these people if we want to, bitch ass hoe!

Devici: Don't speak to her like that!

Frauditor #1: No one asked you nothing! And what kind of shirt is that?!

Devici was wearing a long sleeve shirt to Death's "Scream Bloody Gore" album (reference). Now I later spoke to the other people here, and none of them had a problem with the shirt Devici was wearing. However, these fuckers couldn't take it apparently!

Devici: Does it matter if I'm wearing a Death shirt?!

Frauditor #2: Yes! We hate death metal!

Me: Don't change the fucking subject. You're the assholes that wanted to come here and start trouble. Now I suggest you jackasses leave before she calls the police on your sorry asses.

Frauditor #1: I can't take this shit anymore!

Then they proceeded to tackle down Devici and one of them pulled out a knife!

Devici: Get off of me!

POE: (trying to break up the fight) Leave him alone!

Frauditor #2: No! We're gonna cut up his shitty shirt!

At that point, I knew I had to stand up. I grabbed one of their backs and shoved them down. I did the same to the other. Devici then gets up and kicks away the knife one of the Frauditors tried to grab.

Devici: You wanna cut up my fucking shirt, huh? Cut up this!

We then proceeded to give their asses a beatdown. Devici especially didn't hold back. Man, he gave them two black eyes and a shit ton of bruises! By the time we were done, these crybabies were sobbing and begging for mercy!

Me: Next time, don't try to start shit with us!

An ambulance then arrived to take the two away. Both the Frauditors were charges with harassment and assault, as well as an attempt to destroy property. Me and Devici surprisingly weren't charged with beating them up, considering it was out of defense.

CC: I've been through a funk like that, and I understand your frustration. However, next time, let us handle the situation instead.

So long story short: Don't try to cut up a metalhead's shirt, or you'll get fucked up.

Crazy metal elitist tries to take stash of metal and rock CDs and vinyls that were being donated to poor music fans, then cusses out gothic girl
There are times where as a metalhead, you feel like your music is more important than others. Hell, I've even had plenty of those tendencies. However, you get some who go way too far, and that's where you get Jacob.

Characters:

Me

Jacob

Harold

Volt

GG (Gothic Girl)

Now Jacob is a metalhead who, like me, prefers death and black metal. However, this man goes beyond the realms of being an elitist. He makes all the stereotypes of a metalhead elitist look calm in comparison. He has this crazy definition of "true metal" and constantly shits on big bands like Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Dio, Black Sabbath, and others for "selling out". He even flipped his shit on me because I liked Slipknot. However, what he did here was the final straw.

Now, our group was heading to Seattle because we knew plenty of music fans there who wanted to collect some CDs and vinyls to their collection, but couldn't afford them. We raised a charity event to gain enough money to buy some albums and hand them to the poor kids. I did plenty of donations myself, donating a ton of black and death metal albums that I either didn't listen to that often anymore or was bought from the Extr3me Metal Record shop.

Now, Jacob was tagging along with us. We told him that he wasn't allowed to take those albums because they were for the poor fans. He agreed, but didn't help us organize the stands. He was spending it playing Among Us on his phone.

Soon, the people came in, and we started handing out the albums. However, Jacob saw a limited edition vinyl of Batushka's "Литоургиiа", and he wanted it.

Jacob: Oh shit, I gotta cop that! I've been looking for it for years!

He tried to take it, but Volt, the manager of the charity, stopped him.

Volt: You can't take that. It's for the poor kids, remember?

Jacob: I don't give a fuck! I've been looking for it, and I want it now!

This pissed off Harold (remember him from one of my earlier stories?), because he was the one who donated that vinyl, and he didn't want it to go to a psychotic metal elitist, and I don't blame him.

Harold: You back the hell off. I was the one who donated it, and you're not gonna take it. If you aren't gonna help us, just leave!

At that point, a gothic girl who was wearing a ripped up Type O Negative shirt saw the vinyl and wanted it.

GG: Hey, can I get this vinyl? It looks really cool.

Volt: Sure. It's free.

Jacob saw this, and said probably the most shitty thing I've heard a metalhead say:

Jacob: You can't listen to that shit because it's for men like me! Go back to listening to your gay gothic metal bands, you fucking d**e!

That was the final straw for Volt and Harold. Harold punched him in the face and told him that he wasn't gonna be friends with a "homophobic jerkfuck who attacks people's music taste". Volt also kicked him out and said that he was banned from any future events he does.

The Gothic Girl was crying at this point, clearly hurt by what Jacob said. I went up to her and comforted her.

Me: It's okay. I've listened to gothic metal before, and while I'm not a big fan of it, I do like listening to Type O Negative. Say, after this, how about I go buy you a new shirt?

GG: (wiping her tears) Sure.

She got her Batushka vinyl, and I also got her a brand new Type O Negative shirt that she really liked. She later told me that she was bisexual and that she has faced some homophobia in her family, and didn't appreciate Jacob calling her the d-word.

I haven't heard of her since, and I didn't even got her name, but I do hope she's okay. As for Jacob, he's since left the state and went to live with his grandparents in Maine. Let me clarify that Jacob does not represent us metalheads at all. The only thing he represents are the negative stereotypes of metalheads that aren't true at all. So Jacob, if you're reading this, fuck you.

Our new principle tries to stop me from wearing a Terrorizer shirt; I sue the school for it
I don't know why, but I've been seeing a lot of people calling me out for the shirts I've worn lately. You've heard some of the stories, but this one comes from the new principle in our new school.

The old principle retired, and we got a new one named Alex Smith. Smith came from an All-Boys Christian Boarding School from Tennessee, and he still maintained his religious rules. He's done plenty of shit to a lot of students, but that's for another day. For now, here's my experience with him.

One day, he called me in his office to confront me about dress code. Apparently, he didn't approve of the shirt I was wearing, which was the album cover to Terrorizer's "World Downfall" (Reference).

Alex: That shirt depicts Jesus Christ in a negative way, and at Anacortes High School, we can't allow it!

Now, I've spoke to many other students there and even the teachers and staff, and none of them had a problem with the shirt. However, Alex Shit can't understand freedom of speech, and I reminded him about it.

Me: Principle Smith, you do realize that me wearing this shirt is protected under the First Amendment, a.k.a., Freedom of Speech? None of the teachers had a problem with it, and neither did [the previous principle].

Alex: Well just because everyone else is fine with it doesn't mean I will!

He then proceeded to defend his reasoning with the court case Boroff v. Van Wert City Board of Education. In that case, a kid sued the school for banning him from wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt. However, the judge sided with the school, stating that the band goes against the morals of the school. However, I said this:

Me: Yeah, but another thing is that the dress code doesn't say anything about religious figures. It just said no profanity, support of drugs/alcohol, or any uncensored nudity. This shirt doesn't go against any of these rules, and I've worn far worse shirts in the school that were still allowed. You know, instead of arguing with a kid for wearing a Terrorizer shirt, you could've been punishing some kids for bullying or vandalism.

But Alex was having none of it. He said I either needed to turn the shirt inside-out, go home and change to a more appropriate shirt, or leave and be considered truant. I decided to leave and didn't bother changing, because I wasn't about to lose my freedom of speech just to satisfy some conservative religious fuck!

I then proceeded to sue the school for violating my rights, as well as some other ridiculous rules Smith tried to implement, like expelling non-Christian or atheist students and even trying to replace the gym with a chapel. On top of it, Smith was found to be in a pedophilic relationship with a 16-year-old girl, and he was 45! I found that out in court, and if there weren't any guards in the room, I would've beat his ass!

Long story short, I won the lawsuit, and Smith was charged for his fucking crimes. We've since got a new principle, and he's actually a fan of rock and metal music like me. He told me that I can wear my rock shirts as long as it doesn't contain nudity or excessive gore. Guess my Terrorizer shirt is free to roam the school!

Entitled brat tries to steal my rare Moonblood vinyl; mombie defends him
Characters:

Me

Bill

Rachel

Billy

This story takes place at the house. My mom was inviting someone over named Rachel. Now, me and Bill don't like Rachel because she supports Autism Speaks like our parents and has a tendency to act like a Karen

She also brought out her son named Billy. Billy hates Stacy because she has low-functioning autism and can't speak. He lectures her on how her "disease" is gonna ruin our family and shit. He probably got that from his mom. He's also a fucking entitled brat who thinks he owns the world. We might not be the best, but he makes us look like Mother Teresa!

Now me and Bill were watching a movie while the adults were in the kitchen talking about their lives. I noticed that Billy was carrying something. When I took a closer look, I noticed that he had my 1998 vinyl of Moonblood's "Blut & Krieg". That vinyl is very rare, as they only pressed 333 copies of them. I really didn't want this fucker to mess around with it.

Me: Excuse me, but what are you doing?

Billy: I want this! It looks cool!

Now, if I were Rachel, I would just tell Billy no and tell him to give it back, since that boy is 8 and is WAY too young to be listening to Moonblood. However, Rachel wasn't gonna let him off.

Rachel: You leave my son alone! If he wants the record, let him have it!

Me: I'm sorry, but your son isn't entitled to my shit!

Bill: I'm gonna have to side with Mark here. Just give it back to him. You know how much these records mean to him.

Billy: Shut up!

The two then ran outside and got in the car and attempted to drive off! If mom and dad didn't stood behind the car, who knows what those shitheads would've done to it!

I was eventually able to recover my vinyl, which was undamaged, and mom banned the two from the house. I'm pretty sure they stopped being friends after this, because I haven't heard mom say anything about Rachel after that incident. Can you really blame her?

Guy in my school pretends to be a longtime fan of metal; denies that he's a poser
Posers are one of the worst things in fandoms ever. These are the types of people who pretend they're in the in, but turn out to be full of shit. I met one of them in the metal community, and it was frustrating to say the least.

Now, I came across one of my former friends in middle school named Paris while at Chili's with my other friends. He showed me these really cool Iron Maiden and Led Zeppelin shirts he bought, though he got them on Hot Topic, which are infamous for housing emos and goths. I told him we can get some even better merch at an independent clothing store focused on music. He agreed and we went there to get some stuff. I got a long sleeve Leviathan shirt and a Deicide shirt. Paris, however, bought the same shirts that I got.

Now, this was a bit surprising to us, because Paris was one of the quiet kids in school. He never showed any interest in metal, let alone music in general, so I asked him if he knew Von, which is a pretty obscure black metal band from Hawaii. He said yes and that he's been a longtime fan of them. He then stated that he's listened to all kinds of metal ever since the 6th grade, and that he even got to meet the band members of the grindcore band Nasum. I was especially surprised by this, but at the same time welcomed him in our group. After all, it's nice to have some new members in a metalhead group.

However, things started to get weird. Whenever he'd see us wearing a metal shirt or listen to a metal album, he'd always order the shirts and CDs and claim to have been longtime fans of them. I was getting a little suspicious about this, so I tested him by showing him some NSBM bands on Metal Archives. Now I don't listen to NSBM because of the Nazism ideology in not just the music, but also in the members who even defend that shit! I told him that it's tolerable to get free downloads of the band's discography, but buying the albums is a no no. The next week, I see him wearing a shirt of Evil, a notorious NSBM band, and even owned the CDs and vinyls to every NSBM album that I showed him. When I asked him about it, he said he'd listen to those bands for years and while he doesn't condone their political beliefs, they made "kickass music".

I was now really starting the get concerned, so I asked a friend of him about it. He revealed to me that he had listened to pop and rap music most of his life and hadn't even got into metal until recently. So yeah, this "listening to all types of metal for years" nonsense was false. I confronted him about it, but he denied it.

What really set me over the edge was when I send my group a list of bands they should check out, one of which was a slam/brutal death metal/goregrind band named Onchocerciasis Esophagogastroduodenoscopy. Paris said he never heard them before, and said he'd check it out. I was actually glad he didn't say he'd listened to them for years because they'd only been in the scene for a year. However, the next day, I see him with a hat of O.E. and insisted that he has listened to the band since day 1. I had enough at this point, and said this:

Me: Dude, just yesterday you admitted you didn't even knew who the fuck they are! And just recently you ordered a bunch of NSBM shit even when I told you not to do so! What is your deal?! If you haven't spent years listening to metal, it's okay! You don't have to be a know-it-all, but you gotta stop doing this shit!

And you know what he said?

Paris: Sorry, I didn't elaborate. I only listened to one O.E. song before, but didn't bothered to check them out until you recommended me them. I've been in the goregrind scene for years, and I'm too busy listening to hundreds of goregrind bands to check out the newer ones like O.E..

That was a month ago, and I haven't even bothered to talk to him since. I know I seem like an asshole here, but he STILL insists that he's been listening to metal for years TO THIS DAY. I don't know if he's afraid of being a newbie in the genre or if he's trolling us. Either way, I hope he stops this habit.

The most ridiculous Band Appeal thread in Metal Archives history
I saw this band appeal thread on a band called "Perished Pussies". This thread was so ridiculous, and the user was acting so Karen-like, I just had to archive it here.

''ILuvMetalCore45: Hello! I tried to submit a band called "Perished Pussies", but was blacklisted for being metalcore with more punk influences. I was wondering if they can be reconsidered based on their third album "Shoving Spiked Dildos Up Her Ass". It's clearly got a lot more metal riffs in it, and they somehow even got Martin Birch, the producer of albums from Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, and Rainbow, to look over the production. The album was recorded in 2019-early 2020, so this was before he passed away. I hope you reconsider them, since they're one of my favorite metalcore bands right now!''

Links: [REDACTED]

'''[Admin]: Me and two other mods listened to the album. We determined that it still leaned towards punk than metal, so the blacklisting stays.'''

'''Also, Martin Birch wasn't even involved in the album's making at all. What the hell made you think otherwise?'''

''ILuvMetalCore45: Are you kidding me? P.P.'s latest album is more metal than ever! You probably think it isn't because of the song "We Wanna Fuck Them All" because it's the most punk song. However, I can assure you that most of the other tracks aren't punk. Listen to the tracks "Death Metal Can Eat our Asses", "We Ate Her Flesh Like It's Cannibal Holocaust", and "We Will Fuck You (Queen cover)". The latter is a really interesting deathcore cover of Queen!''

''And yes, Martin Birch WAS involved in the making of the album. He even talked about it in this video: [REDACTED]''

'''[Admin]: The link is broken, and looking at the URL, it looks faked. Now we already made the decision. Please move on.'''

One day later...

''SallieWannaCake: Hey, I went to the band queue and I found hundreds of bands with this similar name like "P3rished P∩ssy1", "P.P"., and "The Pussy was Perished". I think the user who made this thread is the cause of this. You mind doing something about this?''

'''[Admin]: We determined that the user did all of these bands. We rejected them all and banned him from the website. Thank you for letting us know, but we'd suggest you take it to the "Point whores, vandals and other wrongdoers" thread next time for a similar report.'''

''SallieWannaCake: Thanks. And I'll make sure to use the appropriate thread for reporting wrongdoers in the future.''

''ILuvMetalCore45: SALLIE YOU FUCKING SNITCH!!! WHY DID YOU PULL A FUCKING 6IX9INE?!?! YOU'RE LUCKY THE MODS DIDN'T BAN ME ON THE FORUMS!!! YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!!!''

''SallieWannaCake: What made you think it was a good idea? You know it's against the rules to do that. And no, that's not "snitching". Please don't do something like this in the future.''

''ILuvMetalCore45: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!! YOU TAKE LIKE A CUNT!!! CUNT FUCKS JUST LIKE A CUNT!!! YOU ACHE JUST LIKE A CUNT!!! YOU'LL BREAK JUST LIKE A CUNT!!! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!!!''

'''[Admin]: ILuvMetalCore, that is enough! I'm this close to IP banning you from both the main website and the forums!'''

''ILuvMetalCore45: DO IT!!! I FUCKING DARE YOU TO DO IT!!! PLEASE I BEG YOU!!! THIS SITE IS RAN BY METAL ELITIST!!! THEY DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ADDING IN A BUNCH OF SHITTY NSBM BANDS THAT NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT, BUT THEY TAKE OFFENSE IN ADDING A METALCORE BAND WITH MORE METAL RIFFS!!! IT'S TIME WE END YEARS OF PREJUDICE!!! IT'S TIME WE KILL THE ELITIST AND REPLACE THEM WITH FAIR METAL LISTENERS!!! IT'S TIME FOR A FUCKING REFORM!!!''

[Admin]: Where the fuck do I begin?

'''We have these standards for a reason; Otherwise, we'd have Merzbow, Death Grips, and Limp-fucking-Bizkit in the archives, and it would be the Heavy Music Archives. In fact, some of us mods don't agree with the standards, me included. However, we can all respect these decisions for being fair in determining the metalness in the music. Perished Pussy doesn't fit in those standards. You could've just accepted that decision and just move on. But NO! You just had to make up a bunch of sockpuppet accounts to insert a shit-ton of false bands, blew up on a user who had the audacity to report your shitty tactics, and now you're threatening to pull a Coup D'état on this site just to edit the standards to fit your view of metal. We want to be nice to users, but with the shit you've pulled and the attitude you gave us, we can only keep a straight face for so long. Goodbye.'''

Insane ANTIFA activist burns Satanic Warmaster vinyls and gets arrested
This happened at the Extr3me Metal Record Shop. We were hosting an event where we showed off our collection. I bought a bunch of brutal death metal vinyls with me, as well as some DSBM records. Things were going good until some guy with a Balaclava and an ANTIFA shirt comes up and complains about some of the vinyls.

ANTIFA Guy: Is that Satanic Warmaster? You do realize that guy is a literal Nazi, right?!

Now, Satanic Warmaster is one of the more infamous black metal bands because he's associated with some NSBM bands, from having Goatmoon signed to his label and even doing splits with Absurd and Aryan Blood. However, we've decided that Satanic Warmaster isn't NSBM musically since his lyrics aren't mainly about National Socialism and Werwolf themselves say their ideology isn't even close to Nazism. Too bad some of his stuff got blocked on Discogs...

Anyway, the ANTIFA guy got into an argument with the guy who owned the Satanic Warmaster vinyls, and proceeded to take them, went outside, poured gasoline on them, and set that shit on fire! Mind you that this happened on public streets, and someone almost got ran over for trying to stop the fucking psycho. I even went up there and kicked him in the balls.

Me: What the hell is your problem?! Just because you don't like a certain band doesn't mean you fucking burn down someone's vinyls!

ANTIFA Guy: YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! FUCK YOU ALL!!! YOU ALL SUPPORT FASCISM AND THE KKK!!!

At this point, the police and the firefighters arrived. The fire got so bad, it burned down someone's car because they couldn't swerve out of the way in time and it almost set the shop on fire! Because of the severity of the arson, the ANTIFA guy was arrested and charged with arson and destruction of property, as well as attempting to incite a riot, since he attempted to recruit bystanders in his shitty protest.

I haven't heard anything from the ANTIFA guy, but the owner of the Satanic Warmaster vinyls not only got them replaced, payed for by us, but he even got a free ticket to a Satyricon concert that was happening in Seattle. So the moral of the story is don't go burning down vinyls to a band you don't like, especially if they aren't filled with hatred as you think.

My thoughts on the Hope Plank situation
So lately, Hope Plank has been getting a lot of shit for something bad she did, and I'm here to express my thoughts about it.

Now, for those who don't know, Hope is one of the eldest children in the Plank family. I've met her, and she's pretty cool. However, she is notorious for her opinions on music/movies. Not only does she loathe movies and/or music that are too inappropriate, are for babies, and were panned by critics, but she even bans her younger siblings from watching those movies and listening to that music. She rather has them get into stuff that has meaning to them. Hope has also done a lot of shitty tactics. She once tried to get Xiu-mei to stop watching Ponyo and instead watch Spirited Away or Grave of the Fireflies, the latter of which her parents ban her from watching.

Now, what she did a few days ago caused everyone in the Supernanny/TT10 community to flip the fuck out. She was visiting BE!Maria, Lei, and others when she saw her younger siblings Lianne and Lilian pick up a CD of Deicide's self-titled album. For some reason, Hope thought they were gonna listen to the album, and she doesn't want the kids to be listening to death metal. So she decided that the best thing to do was to smash the damn thing! What the fuck? I don't do that shit to my friend's rap albums, and I hate rap!

What makes this even worse is that the CD was Lei's, and Lei got that album as a gift from a friend, who committed suicide after some fake pedo-hunting group falsely accused him of being a pedophile. That Deicide album was one of the few things he had left of his friend. I can't even imagine what its like to lose something a deceased friend gave to you! Hope really is a heartless bitch!

Lei then slapped her across the face and chewed her ass out. Fumei, Lei's wife, also came in her husband's defense. BE!Maria saw the shitshow and decided enough was enough. She told Hope that their friendship was done for and made her give $15 to replace the CD.

Ever since then, Hope has been getting tons of hate from the community for her poor ass decisions. I even went up to her AITA article to say this in response to Lei's comment:

''I agree with Lei's comment. I don't like rap, but I don't go destroy someone's Ice Cube vinyl! I may be a crazy metalhead who sexually assaulted BE!Maria, but I still have standards!''

BE!Maria even agreed with me. I haven't met her in months, and the last time I did, I went Bill Cosby on her ass, which wasn't a good idea in hindsight. She probably still hates me for it, but it's good that she agrees with me.

Now Hope, if you're reading this, I hope you learn a very valuable lesson from this. You are entitled to your own opinions, and it's okay to not like some movies and albums, but destroying someone else's album, especially one that was given by a dead friend of theirs, is extremely fucked up and crossing the line. Just let people like what they like!

Psycho old man runs over concert attendees and attempts to kidnap metalhead
This might be one of the worst encounters I've ever had, and that's saying something.

This took place in July 2019. Me and my buddies were going to the an open concert that included various death metal and grindcore bands in the Portland area. Things were going good until we got into the middle of Claw Hammer's performance. That's when we were screams. As it turns out, someone was running over the crowd and even shooting at them. The band members stopped playing.

Hell-Shocker (leader of the band): YO!!! Everyone go help out whoever needs helping! And try to stop that fucking psycho!

Me and my group ran to the crowd and saw that many people were injured. Not only that, but we later found out that one person actually died from the incident. His name was James Welkins, and he just turned 18 when he went to the concert. Rest in piece, James.

But that's just half of it. I later saw an old man lure one of the metalheads in his truck. The guy getting kidnapped, Ueno Shigetaka, had very long hair and was wearing a Cattle Decapitation shirt.

Ueno: Let me the fuck go, old man! What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Old Man: Be quiet, Jack Wong! It's time I teach you a lesson for skipping school, get a pedophilic d*ke and f****t to try and rescue you, and get me falsely charged with kidnapping by gaining sympathy from those damn SJWs!

Ueno: What the fuck are you talking about?! And my name isn't Jack Wong damnit!

I wasn't about to let the old fuck kidnap Ueno, so I grabbed a nearby bottle and knocked the old fuck out with it! Me and others who witness the kidnapping then hogtied him and kept him restrained until the police arrive.

Later on, Lei revealed to me that the old man who perpetrated the attack was the same one who kidnapped him. Apparently, he thought he was a high school student and dragged him back to school while breaking his wrist in the process. He then physically and mentally abused him and even assaulted his wife and Dongshun before being apprehended. He was then arrested for the attack as well as murder, attempted kidnapping, and even brutally molesting a 13-year-old girl in school!

I went to his trial to see some justice, as well as the band members of Claw Hammer and others who attended the concert. The old fuck defended himself by saying how us metalheads were "living demons" and that he was doing "God's work" and proclaimed that his goal was to torture and kill "Jack Wong" and even admitted to the judge that he would kill more if he was released. In the end, that old bastard got life without parole, just narrowly missing the death penalty. I also heard that the inmates found out about the child molestation case and got his ass beaten so bad he has to use a wheelchair to get by. I guess you can say that justice was served that day...

The time I met Mike from the Pinker Family
Have you guys saw the Pinker Family episode on Supernanny? Apparently, the son in the family is a neo-Nazi who tries to force his family to get into the shitty ideology. Well I met him before, and oh boy was he a load of ass...

Characters:

Me

Mike

Demonic Slash

Devici

Volt

Me and my friends were traveling to Alabama because we were going to interview some heavy metal bands for a documentary. We were in a park in Auburn interviewing Peter "Demonic Slash" Johnson from the war metal band Celestial Slaughter. Suddenly, we see Mike Pinker pulling up on us.

Mike: Holy shit, it's Demonic Slash!

Demonic Slash: Give it up, Mike. I don't fucking support neo-Nazis.

Me: Wait, you know this guy?

Demonic Slash: Yeah. He's a literal neo-Nazi who terrorizes his family with hatecore music and graphic Holocaust videos.

Now, our group is completely against hatecore music, including Nazi Punk, NSBM, and RAC, so we were on Peter's side.

Devici: Can you please leave? We're doing an interview here.

Mike: No! Listen to this!

He then pulls out his phone and blasts Aryan Terrorism's "War" album. I was one of the unfortunate souls who listened to that album, and god was it absolute shit. I am not kidding when I say it's one of the worst heavy metal music you will ever listen to in your life.

Volt: Dude, cut that shit out and get the fuck outta here! We don't need your NSBM ass to ruin this interview!

Mike: Okay, libtards!

Mike then left and then proceeded to egg our rental car. What the fuck? Now what good would that do? We chased him out, but he dropped his phone during the entire ordeal and didn't even bother to get it.

Devici: What do you say we sell his phone? He wants to egg our fucking car, we'll sell his shit!

Demonic Slash: I have a better idea! Let's tie it up to a firework and light it up!

Me: Sure. Let's go get some fireworks.

We then went to a nearby store and got a big firework. We then went to an open area and strapped his phone to the firework. We lit it up and watched as the phone shot up into the shy and then exploded! It was such an amazing sight!

Mike never found his phone and doesn't know what happened to it (at least until he reads this, and if you are, Mike, fuck you!). As for the interview, we were able to finish it smoothly and recently got the documentary finished. We ultimately didn't include Mike in the final product, but the documentary came out pretty good.

Karen goes crazy after finding out a Burzum CD costs over $700; demands she get it for free, but fails miserably
Hey everyone. I apologize for not updating this blog in forever. I had a lot of personal stuff to deal with, plus I almost lost my entire vinyl collection by some lunatic robbers, but that story is for another day. For now, I would like to tell you a weird story in the Metal Archives forum.

Now, in the MA forums, we have a board called the "Selling and Buying Board". This is where people go to buy and sell stuff. There's also a similar board for trades, but the buying board is a lot more popular. Of course, there's some ground rules like one topic per user, don't be a dick to buyers/seller, and a zero-tolerance policy for selling racist shit (thank god for the latter). However, this one user named WellManneredMother284 tried to buy a Burzum CD from someone, and let's just say she didn't acted "well-mannered"...

''WellManneredMother284: Hello! I am looking for a Burzum CD. My son is a big fan of that band and he is looking for the album titled "Burzum". He told me to go here since someone might have it. If you have one and are looking to sell me one, please answer! Thank you!''

''JamesCordai666: Hey. I own a first press of the Burzum CD from 1992. I don't listen to Burzum a lot anymore, especially when my interest for black metal was gone, but since I haven't played it in almost a year, I guess I can lend it to you.''

''WellManneredMother284: Why thank you, James! I'm sure you're a very nice gentleman. So how much will it cost?''

''JamesCordai666: Oh, I'm selling it for $722.89. I'm not sure if you'll be able to afford it, but if you can, I'll PM you my PayPal.''

''WellManneredMother284: Hahaha! That's a funny joke! You have a really good sense of humor, James! Now seriously, what's the actual cost? I'm saying about $15 or less.''

''JamesCordai666: I'm dead serious. It's $722.89.''

WellManneredMother284: Why?

''JamesCordai666: Well, this is a first pressing of Burzum's self-titled album, and they only pressed 500 CDs for it. Not to mention that the self-titled album hasn't seen a lot of represses in recent years (not counting the Burzum/Aske compilation album that gets a lot of pressings lately). And my CD is in near-mint condition, which is in a better condition than most albums that were released at that time. Don't believe me? Check out the pricings at Discogs:'' https://www.discogs.com/Burzum-Burzum/release/413444

''As you can see, the lowest price that particular CD was bought was for $298.00. In fact, one CD was sold for $1,500, which is twice the amount that I'm offering. I know you didn't expect the CD to cost that much, and I'm sorry for offering you a "bad deal", but that's just how it is. Take it or leave it.''

''WellManneredMother284: Wow... are you a survivor of Shaken Baby Syndrome? What the FUCK makes you think that I'm gonna spend over $700 for a FUCKING CD to some church-burning murdering neo-Nazi when I could've just downloaded a .rar of the album off some Brazilian's Blogspot for free?! You people really are FUCKING lunatics! I don't give a FUCK if only 500 were made or if it hasn't been repressed. As a matter of fact, how about you give me the FUCKING CD for free? At least it will cover the troubles I have for even finding the FUCKING thing.''

''JamesCordai666: Are you serious right now? For starters, how are you gonna assume I'm a survivor of Shaken baby syndrome? That's like, a complete disgrace to those who've been there. And like I said earlier, the CD is rare and hasn't been repressed in a while. And while I do agree that it was wrong for Varg to burn down the churches and kill Euronymous, he has stated several times that he isn't a Nazi and has since rebuked his past claims that WERE Nazism. And give you the CD for free? With that attitude, no.''

Also, if you were gonna complain about an expensive CD, why are you even here?

''WellManneredMother284: Because I wanted a FUCKING CD that costed $15! Why the FUCK do people spend SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY on a plastic disc? THIS PLACE HAS A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH EXPENSIVE SHIT!!! Seriously, if the CD costed $15 when it was first made, it should stay $15! It's just like those Pink Floyd vinyls where people are spending WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING MONEY on the first presses on "The Dark Side of the Moon" when THAT VINYL ONLY COSTED $25!!! WHY?!?! So either lower it down to $15, give it to me for free, or FUCK OFF!!!''

JamesCordai666: Or I can report you to the admins, which is what I'll do next!

The mother was later banned from the board for life for her rude behavior. I'm not sure if the kid ever got his Burzum CD, but I sure hope he did and the mother didn't get it by complaining.

Spider_X's crazy meltdown on the Metal Archives
Okay, I promise you all that the attempted record robbery story will be coming out after this. For now, I need to talk about this recent issue on MA.

Basically, Spider_X, a notable user on MA, got her reviews on Totale Vernichtung's albums removed for various reasons. Rather than ask politely for an appeal, she decided to do the worst thing possible, and I will make fun of it here!

''I am only assuming that I am in the right thread, if not I don't really fucking care at this point honestly. I really don't.''

So why are you writing this?

So this thread reads "(AKA Why was this review accepted?"........ my question to you Morrigan, since you were the one to make this particular thread in the first place (as well as make the decision to go on a fucking deleting spree with my reviews, completely UNWARRANTED)..... the question should more like read as this: ""Why was this review accepted, and then DELETED?""

Because those reviews were ass, honey.

''I am addressing BOTH you and MutantClannfear as he was your apparent lacky in this fucked as hell decision you made on having all 5 fucking Totale Vernichtung reviews deleted.... no, neither you or him could not take the time to PM me stating anything of this, could not take the time to save back to draft instead of me losing 4 fucking months of my time in writing those, no it seemed much easier to discuss amongst ya'll'selves to make this retarded fuck decision.''

They don't need your permission to remove them, dummy!

And, don't give me the "Nsbm" shit either, as my Aufgegeben review ((was)) still up, and that band is fucking blatant Nsbm.

Again, those reviews weren't removed just because the bands were racist, although I'm pretty sure that's part of it.

Totale Vernichtung is absolutely NOT, no matter what you Mods/ Metal lords so happen to think, it's been mentioned in interviews this, made fucking public, so don't even give me that fucking Goddamn shit!!

And what does that have to do with your reviews?

''Metantoine obviously had, had a problem with my supporting Totale Vernichtung, but that is not his fucking business who I listen to and who I choose to show my love and support for. If a band is on Metal-Archives, they are subject to review, and it was known on my M-A profile page how and why I write exactly how I do, I gave no special treatment over Totale Vernichtung as ALL bands I had written for, I had written with immense passion.''

That doesn't mean shit if your reviews are shit! When will it get through your thick skull?

''So, don't you dare fucking single out Totale Vernichtung to me!! God fucking damn it!!''

It's too late for that.

Those 5 reviews were NEVER rejected, all ACCEPTED within the past 4 fucking months, and were very appreciated not only by the band, but I have had a few people message me telling me that my reviews of his band got them to go and check him out, and expressed immense appreciation to me.

They were probably acceptable by some newbie mod whose WAY too lenient on policies. I heard they appointed two mods last week.

''Do you 2 fucking morons even realize what you have done????? Do you even???? I have watched and seen so much shit go through here and out, it isn't even funny. It's not even cool alot of stuff that some of you Metal lords I have seen do. Shit like this is one of many issues with this site!!''

Do you realize that you just removed my horrible reviews just so you keep this site clean of bullshit?! That's so despicable!

''I have been here for the LONG FUCKING HAUL, since 2006, and I am already ready to walk away from M-A, which at one time had truly meant something to me, it's all about fucking power and control from some of you, there is only one......................... only O N E Mod that still gets my respect as he has never been anything but honest with me, and that is Azmodes. I will always respect him regardless, the rest of you guys can fucking go to Goddamn hell for all I care.''

Even Azmodes is looking at this and cringing.

I will never regret writing this.

Spoiler alert: You will.

Fred fucking Durst me if you guys want to, might as fucking well, cause guess fucking what???????????????????

I'm an idiot who can't accept the fact that my reviews don't meet the quality for this site! At least I hope that's what she says...

I DON'T FUCKING CARE AS I WILL N O T BE COMING BACK.

You're acting like a fucking child, you know that? My non-verbal autistic little sister can act more mature than you!

I am drunk and I am furiously angry as Goddamn hell,

Well that explains it.

and I will look back on this and still not fucking care!!

Again, you will regret this shit.

''Much love and respect always to you Azmodes............ fuck all the rest of you that were even in on this decision, that was HIGHLY unwaranted!! Fuck you guys really''

And fuck you two!

Long story short, Morrigan banned her in the forums for "being a brain-dead nazi apologist dipshit having an epic meltdown". However, it looks like she still isn't done, as she changed her profile bio to this:

Banned on the forums, nice haha :D

It's funny because you deserved it.

Fucking "Fred Durst" me here too, while all you fucking morons are at it.

Which may eventually happen. (At the time of writing, Spider_X isn't banned off of the main MA site)

''You write reviews for this site, at any given moment they can and will be deleted. 5 deleted reviews that HAD BEEN ACCEPTED, one of the site owners Morrigan decided to have a moron work under him to delete 5 reviews I had written (MutantClannfear). He could not apparently do that himself, fucking coward.''

Again, they didn't meet the quality of the site and were deleted for a good reason, asswipe.

Says this in retaliation to me, while obviously not even actually reading my fucking comment, as he states this: "Last edited by Morrigan on Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:04 pm, edited 1 time in total. Banned for being a brain-dead nazi apologist dipshit having an epic meltdown"

That reason was definitely a good reason to ban you. Why? You think you're a sane bastard?

''I say that he did not read it, because hours had passed after MutantClannfear had deleted all my reviews of Totale Vernichtung..... claiming fucking Nazi bs, YET my Aufgegeben review was STILL FUCKING UP?????????''

That Aufgegeben review was alright, but because of this shit, you don't deserve to have that review up.

''until I had just deleted all my existing reviews after saving them first........ Aufgegeben is fucking BLATANT NS, love that band immensely, but still VERY blatant Ns. Oh that can stay............ Totale Vernichtung, no.... fucking shit pieces of hypocritical garbage.''

...I'm not even gonna go there....

Fuck you guys!

And fuck you too, bitch!

''And, yes I defended my reviews. One, they had already been ACCEPTED.''

Accepted by a newbie mod who didn't knew how the rules worked.

Two, you guys seriously need to get ya'll's shit straight know what bands are and are NOT Ns.

Kinda true, since some bands are classified as NSBM for no reason. At the same time, Totale Vernichtung's one of lyrical themes is National Socialism, so that NSBM label is well-deserved.

''And, three... if a band is on Metal-Archives, there is no where on this Goddamn site that says any rule about what bands you can or cannot write for. If this is the case, you guys might want to fucking UPDATE that shit.''

It also says you can't write shit reviews.

''Fuck. Talk about fucking "brain dead". Fuck.''

THEY'RE BRAIN DEAD?!?! Have you took a good look in the mirror?

Like I said, at the time of writing, Spider_X hasn't been banned off of the main MA site. However, her time here might be cut short pretty soon. I never found Spider_X to be anything special, but after this, I think we're all done with her shit.

EDIT: Spider_X has officially been banned off of MA for life. About damn time if you ask me.

The time some robbers tried to steal my records; I stabbed one of them
Here it is, the time where someone attempted to steal my records. Let's do this shit!

Here's some background info. I sell some records on Discogs, mainly albums I don't listen to much anymore. I was selling my cassette of "Derailed" by Fiend, which is a brutal death metal/grindcore EP. Someone who wanted to buy one was pissed at me because my item wasn't available in their area, and I had the only type of cassette they were looking for. After some arguing, he claimed he got my address, but I didn't believe him. He was later suspended on Discogs for his dumb behavior.

Now it's time for the incident. This happened at night somewhere in 1-3 AM in the morning. I don't remember the exact time.

The entire house woke up with some crash that came from the living room. My parents came down to see two guys breaking in and they immediately held them at gunpoint.

Robber 1: STOP RIGHT THERE, MAGGOTS!!!

Martha: What the hell are you doing?!

Daniel: Don't kill us!

Me and Bill saw them from afar and went away so we won't be seen. Stacy had no idea what was going on.

Me: Bill, you take Stacy in your room and lock the door. I gotta stop those asswipes!

Bill agreed and took Stacy away. I went back into my room and grabbed a knife I kept under my bed. I was gonna take some drastic measures if needed.

Robber 2: If you two wanna see the sun come up again, you take us to your eldest son's room now.

My parents led them to my room. I hid in the closet. These two then proceed to get my vinyls and put them in bags. I couldn't believe my fucking eyes!

Robber 1: Where the hell is that Fiend cassette?

Martha: What the hell are you talking about?! Leave my son's albums alone!

Robber 2: Fuck no! He wants to stop my boy from getting Derailed, we're gonna steal his entire collection and hold that shit for ransom until he gives us what we want!

At that point, I knew exactly who these fuckers were. I then jumped out of the closet and stabbed one of the guys in the back.

Robber 2: OW!!! I'VE BEEN HIT!!!

Daniel: Damn, Mark!

Mark: GET OFF OF MY SHIT!!!

Robber 1 tried to kick me away and took off. I chased him outside. I eventually caught up to him and tackled him down.

Me: (pointing the knife at his neck) You wanna fucking die, bastard? What the fuck made you think I would let you and your gay ass friend steal my vinyls?

Robber 1: I just wanted my fucking Derailed cassette! Just give it to me!

Me: Well guess what? After that fucking stunt you pulled, you're not getting shit!

The cops arrived and arrested the two. Seeing how I stabbed one of them out of self-defense, I wasn't charged with assault, as much as those two wanted. Thankfully none of the records were severely damaged from the attempted theft. The only one that was damaged was a CD to Tulus's "Pure Black Energy" since the jewel case got beat up badly, but the CD and booklet itself was fine. I eventually swapped out the old case for a newer one.

The time I met some obsessed SML fans at a protest; Toxic Jeffy fanboy then rebels against parents
First off, sorry for not keeping up with this blogpost. I've been busy with the family and my new job at the local record store, and there haven't been a lot of crazy stuff happening. Anyway, here's this one encounter I had just a few days ago.

Okay, so here's some background: SML is a plush channel on YouTube that makes skits on Nintendo characters and especially a puppet named Jeffy. Lately, Nintendo threw them with a cease and desist letter because they were using their characters to mock some minorities and now they're forcing them to delete their channels since their URLs contain Nintendo properties. I don't watch SML, but one of my friend does and is devastated. He especially hated the new puppet designs for some of the characters and vows to not watch any new SML videos after "The Super Bowl Problem!".

Anyway, this took place in Redmond. Me and two friends (Devici and Volt) were returning home from a local concert where war metal band Bestial Goat Killers was performing. We passed the Nintendo USA Headquarters when we saw a group of SML fans hosting a demonstration against Nintendo deleting their channels. Devici wanted to ignore it, but me and Volt decided to go check it out.

As we came closer, this one kid who looked 8 and was wearing this Jeffy shirt came up to us.

TJF (Toxic Jeffy Fan): What are you three doing here?

Devici: Are you guys seriously protesting about SML lately? You might as well leave now, because a multibillion dollar company isn't gonna cave in to some little kids bitching about an edgy guy's plushie content.

Me: Yeah, I agree. I watched a couple of them, and they're definitely not my cup of tea.

TJF: Well I'm not surprised, especially with that cringy shirt!

I was wearing a long sleeve Immolation shirt at that time.

Me: Uh, that's Immolation, a band you mostly likely don't even know. Also, you're the one to talk, especially with that shirt!

Volt: For real, I won't be caught dead wearing that.

TJF: Well it looks like a heavy metal band. My parents don't even let me listen to that because they think it's "the devil's music". They want me to listen to their stupid country music!

Harold: Uh, why are we changing the topic?

TJF: Because I want to listen to that band!

I was kinda in a dilemma on this one. Yes, I can't stand people thinking heavy metal makes you a Satanist, and I would love to show this fan a whole wide world of metal. However, I didn't want to get in trouble with his parents.

Me: How about this? If you want to listen to metal so bad, then I recommend checking out some of the entry-level bands like Metallica, Iron Maiden, Pantera, Judas Priest, Motorhead, Slayer, and Black Sabbath. From there, you can expand into some more extreme metal bands, and if you really are brave, you can check out some death metal and black metal.

Before I even finished my last sentence, though, he was already on YouTube and played Slayer's "Angel of Death". At that point, his mom came it.

TJF's Mom: Billy what are you doing here? And don't tell me you're listening to metal!

Harold: His name is Billy?

TJF: It's Bill! And yes, I'm listening to some Slayer.

TJF's Mom: SLAYER?!?! (takes phones and turns it off) Billy we told you that heavy metal is gonna make you a devil worshipper!

Me: Actually, I've been listening to metal for years, and I would like to remind you that I am a Christian and I go to church every Sunday! (Note: I'm an atheist, and I haven't stepped in a church in years. The only reason I said it is to make a point) If your son want's to get into metal, just let him the fuck be! Don't be trying to control what music he listens to!

TJF: Yeah! She even tried to ban me from watching SML!

TJF's Mom: GET IN THE CAR NOW!!! You are in big trouble when we get home mister!

The two then left, and that's when me and my friends decided to leave there. We later find out that a few hours later, the group left once it started raining.

As for that Billy kid, I haven't heard of him in a while. I did, however, contacted someone who knew the mom, and he said that Billy has been listening to a lot of metal lately, and his favorite bands are Exodus, Vio-Lence, Immolation, Mercyful Fate, and Metallica. He also told me that his mom is accepting his metal taste more, but she insists that he stays away from black metal, since that's where the "real devil worshippers" are. I do hope I meet him again, so I can hook him up with some true Norwegian black metal.

UPDATE: I actually got in touch with Billy, and he says he's listening to some black metal, but in secret so as to not get in trouble with his mom. He says his favorite black metal bands are Immortal, Burzum, Mgla, and Leviathan.

Karen tries to get me to give our Drudkh vinyls to her autistic child. I said no and she accused me of being anti-autistic
Before I go on, let me go on to say that I am not anti-autism at all. I have a little sister named Stacy who is non-verbal, and while I had some grudges with her in the past, I still love her like any other sister.

Anyway, for this story, I was traveling to a gig in Kennewick, Washington that included some state bands. Agalloch was suppose to show up, but they never did for some odd reason. Sucks, but it was still a good show nonetheless.

Before I left, I went out to a nearby vinyl store named Crazy Records that sold all kinds of vinyls, metal included. They actually had some vinyls to Drudkh's "Forgotten Legends" and "Autumn Aurora". I've been searching for those vinyls for a while, and I'm really glad that I found them. I took the two vinyls and went to checkout. While waiting, I saw a woman who reeked of a Karen appearance looking at some Lady Gaga vinyls with her daughter, who looked to be 14. She was wearing pink unicorn headphones and was watching My Little Pony on an Amazon tablet.

I'd also like to mention that both the mother and the daughter were wearing an Autism Speaks shirt. Me and Bill aren't a big fan of the company, as they've done more harm to the autistic community than good. At one point, they even supported the infamous Judge Rotenburg Center, which was notorious for torturing special needs children with electric shocks. Those fuckers supported that shithole at a Resource Fair they did in 2013. Despite all of that shit, our parents still support the company.

Anyway, Karen saw my vinyls and got this ecstatic look.

Karen: Hey, Isabelle, look at those cool vinyls!

Karen tried to get Isabelle's attention, but she was too busy with her show.

Me: You actually like Drudkh? Now that's a surprise.

Karen: No, but I'm sure my daughter would love to have those vinyls. Can you please hand it to us for free?

Me: What? No!

Karen: But she has autism!

Me: That doesn't matter. I'm the one paying for them, not you.

Karen: Clerk, are there other vinyls like that?

Clerk: Sorry, m'am, but he's got the last Drudkh vinyls. Come back tomorrow, as we'll have them restocked.

This is where Karen goes from chill to psychotic.

Karen: I'm not gonna be here tomorrow because tomorrow, I have to drive back to Bend just so her father can have his mandatory visits! Give me those vinyls!

She tried to snatch the vinyls, but I stopped her.

Me: Will you stop this?! You're acting less mature than your own daughter!

Karen: You hear that, honey? This anti-autistic guy doesn't want you to have those vinyls because he is a meanie head!

That's where Isabelle got mad and proceeded to throw some records at me! I mean, what the fuck is that gonna do?

Me: Tell your daughter to stop!

Clerk: Yeah! She's gonna break them!

Karen: Not unless you give it to us!

Me: Fuck no! Go get your own shit! I'm not gonna give them to with that attitude of yours! And don't give me that anti-autism shit either, because my younger sister has the same condition as your daughter!

Clerk: Actually, I think you need to leave.

Karen had no choice but to drag her now screaming daughter out of the shop without buying anything. I was still able to buy my vinyls and went back home without incident.

Another ridiculous Band Appeal thread from Metal Archives
Hey, you remember that story where some metalcore fan flipped his shit because Perished Pussy wasn't on MA, leading to him creating sockpuppet accounts to try and bypass the blacklisting and cussed out a user for reporting his crazy ass? Well I've encountered a thread that rivals the Perished Pussy thread, maybe even worse.

Now, there are some bands on MA that get debated countless amount of times over whether or not it's metal enough to be on the site, and Slipknot is notorious for this. Technically, they are listed on here, but it's a thrash metal/crossover band from Connecticut. The nu metal band from Iowa is blacklisted since none of their albums are metal by the site's definition, though that hasn't stopped a shit-ton of mallcore goths from trying to convince the admins that Slipknot is "the most brutal death/black metal band ever". For me personally, I actually like Slipknot, as they're one of the few nu metal bands I can tolerate. But even for me, I just don't find them to be "actual" metal. The closest they got to being metal was in their second album "Iowa", but even then, for every metal song they had, they also had 3 non-metal songs in there.

But while this whole "Get Slipknot in MA" craze has calmed down in recent years, one user that went by the name of "AlternativeMetalGod666" attempted to "educate" the mods on why Slipknot is metal. Brace yourselves for this cringy shitshow of a thread...

''AlternativeMetalGod666: Hello. I am here to make an appeal for the Iowan band Slipknot. And before you ask, YES, I did used the search function. The general consensus is that Slipknot is a "nu metal" band and that "nu metal" isn't metal, therefore Slipknot isn't allowed to be on MA. Well I have some concerns about this:''

''1: I personally think the term "nu metal" should not be used, as it is not an actual genre. It was used by MTV and other mainstream companies as a way to make it seem like there was a new genre in the making. Alternative metal is a better term, and even then, I don't understand why bands like Helmet and Fudge Tunnel are on here, but not Slipknot.''

''2: They have actually made more than enough metal albums to make them eligible to be on the Metal Archives. In fact, I have listened to all of their studio albums as well as the 1996 demo "Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat.", and I have also consulted music professors from various colleges and universities. Here is how I would classify these releases:''

''Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat.: Death metal with alternative influences (It is borderline, but in songs like "Slipknot", "Gently", and "Tattered & Torn", it is what you would consider metal)''

Slipknot: Groove/Rap metal (Besides the rapping, this is groove metal through and through with a heavy Pantera sound in songs like "Wait and Bleed")

Iowa: Technical Death/Groove metal (Easily their heaviest album, and the album that would certainly get them on the archives. The song "Iowa" in particular has a black metal vibe in it)

Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses): Alternative metal with Death metal influences (This has a mix of Helmet and Old School Death metal bands like Morbid Angel and Obituary)

All Hope Is Gone: Alternative metal (Besides one acoustic song, this is a metal album with a heavy Helmet sound)

.5: The Gray Chapter: NWOBHM/Heavy metal (While they're not from the UK, the composition, structure, and sound screams NWOBHM as well as some traditional heavy metal. Reminds me a lot of Iron Maiden, Diamond Head, and Def Leppard's debut album)

We Are Not Your Kind: Black/Death/Groove metal (Right up there with Iowa in terms of an extreme metal sound. The black metal tracks are also excellent)

''This is an extremely accurate assessment for Slipknot's discography, and the fact that they still keep on getting ignored is a disgrace. Please consider my professional assessment, and include one of the greatest Alternative metal bands ever in the beautiful site known as Metal Archives.''

''' JordanKambla33: I swear to fuck, these Maggots never give up, do they? '''

''' HellsBells99: For real. If we're seriously gonna be classifying Slipknot as a death or even black metal band, then I'm going to unironically get into screamo! '''

[Admin]: Jordan and HellsBells, please do not butt in band appeal threads unless you're providing some information about the band or suggesting assessing albums that may or may not make the band worthy of being included on MA.

'''As for you, "AlternativeMetalGod666", this has got to be one of the dumbest appeal posts I've ever read in all of my years on Metal Archives. The fact that you're trying to appeal a band that has constantly been brought up and has been proven many times to be non-metal is enough to make us facepalm in shame, but to then include your own "assessment" that also allegedly had some involvement with "college professors" is absolutely pathetic. The thing with Slipknot isn't that they have 0 metal songs. Some of their songs are metal, and we would've included them on this site had at least one of their albums be predominantly metal. But that's the problem. None of their albums are metal enough to be on this site. At best, they're just weak groove metal, and at worst, they're flat out nu/rap metal (or alternative/rap metal since you don't like the term nu metal). This decision was made years ago. Please give this a rest.'''

''AlternativeMetalGod666: With all due respect, sir, I have to heavily disagree with your assessment. Once again, the usage of the term "nu metal" or even "mallcore" is not good, since it is a fake name to alternative metal. Just because people like MTV or Kerrang! classify them as "nu metal" doesn't mean that it is a real genre.''

''If anything, having Slipknot not be part of the archives has done more harm than good in the metal community. MA is the biggest database for heavy metal bands on the Internet, and despite it existing for almost 20 years, they still have an incredibly outdated system that they still insist is "perfect" for assessing metal bands. Now, I can understand not including genres like Djent, Non-metal Grindcore, and most Metalcore/Deathcore bands. Hell, I even agree with your decisions on not allowing Led Zeppelin and Rammstein on the site, as the former, despite being influential to the genre, isn't metal by any stretch of imagination, and the latter, despite having a heavy sound, is still industrial rock/electronic. However, to still exclude Slipknot and "nu metal" in general shows that you are in denial to accept that metal is a growing genre, and you think that if the bands people are trying to add don't sound like Cannibal Corpse or Darkthrone, then they should not be in the archives at all. That is not how it works. Going by your logic, an archive for hip-hop and rap music should not include Soundcloud rappers like Lil Uzi Vert or XXXTentacion because they are just too new for rappers like 2Pac or Big Pun. If you want to be an accurate archive for heavy metal music, including these "nu metal" bands isn't gonna hurt you guys.''

''Also, did I mention that this ban of Slipknot has actually reinforce the negative stereotype that metalheads are nothing but gatekeeping elitists who think that anything that isn't metal sucks? I am far from that stereotype, as I listen to all kinds of metal as well as rock, pop, rap, jazz, EDM, and country, and it sucks that the mods still have this outdated viewpoint on what is and isn't metal after all of these years. I am not asking for you guys to include AC/DC or even the Beatles. I am asking you to finally stop your years of prejudice of "nu metal" bands.''

[Admin]: Oh boy, this is gonna be quite a load...

'''First of all, whether you like it or not, nu metal is an actual genre, and people calling it that or mallcore is accurate. Slipknot may have a bit of alternative influences, but they're mostly nu metal.'''

'''Also, while I'm glad you do agree with our assessment on Led Zeppelin and Rammstein, you thinking we don't include nu metal bands in general because we don't like new things is a lie. If we didn't like change, than blackgaze bands or even some metalcore bands won't be on here. We're fine with a change of metal as long as it's metal by our standards. Nu metal is just heavily rooted into non-metal genres. Hell, even Wikipedia (the least reliable source on the Internet) acknowledges this, as they describe it as "a subgenre of alternative metal that combines elements of heavy metal music with elements of other music genres such as hip hop, alternative rock, funk, industrial, and grunge." Even if there is metal, 99% of the time, it's not the main focus.'''

'''And lastly, you thinking we're "reinforcing negative stereotypes of metalheads" by excluding Slipknot is absolutely ridiculous. I'm pretty sure the band members of Slipknot themselves could care less if some private metal archive site doesn't include them there. They're one of the most mainstream bands in rock right now, and they've got far better things to worry about instead of MA. And don't say we hate them either, as I personally thought "Iowa" and "All Hope Is Gone" were great albums. You seriously think we only listen to the bands we have on this site? Most of them aren't even good anyway (I'm looking at you, Six Feet Under), but as long as they're metal, they're allowed to stay.'''

'''So long story short, we're not gonna be including Slipknot in the archives given their current discography. If they release a new album that you can confidently say is like Sepultura's "Beneath the Remains" in terms of metalness, then you can bring it up again. Otherwise, case closed.'''

(And side note, where the hell did you and your "college professors" get the idea that Slipknot had some black/death metal songs? Are you sure you're not a troll?)

''AlternativeMetalGod666: You know, I am in absolute shock on how you think this is all rational when it comes to classifying metal bands. In fact, I wasn't even gonna make this appeal to begin with. The only reason I did was because I saw a thread for Deftones "Ohms" album in the Tavern section, and the reception of the album in that thread was very positive. That's when I assumed that you guys had finally accepted "nu metal" and were willing to allow them on your archives. In fact, had this appeal been a success, I would've also argued for the appeal of bands like Korn, Deftones, System of a Down, Mudvayne, and Drowning Pool since those bands have made various metal albums that would've made them eligible for the archives. But sadly, this thread shows that users and especially the admins still hate "nu metal" deep down, and are doing everything in their power to still reinforce the negative stereotypes of being a metalhead. And then you said they can only be accepted if they made something like Sepultura's "Beneath the Remains"? No hate to Sepultura, but that is ridiculous. They already had their Beneath the Remains, and that was "Iowa" and "We Are Not Your Kind". And yet you still didn't let them on the archives? And I was dead serious on them having some black/death metal songs, so for the users who thought I was trolling, I'm not, since the professors I've talked to said some of it was black/death metal. I'm asking you one last time: Allow Slipknot and all of those "nu metal" bands on your archives.''

'''[Admin]: Look man, I just happen to be the one checking the thread right now, and I'm giving you the same answer every other mod has given to every other person who has ever asked. Slipknot has been evaluated and reevaluated several times in the nearly 20 years this site has been up. Our minds aren't going to change just because you barged in here and started talking down to me and insisting that the definition this site uses and has used since day one is now suddenly wrong and that it's "prejudiced" to a genre you think is fake and you're hoping that we'll change our minds due to a war of attrition. Let it the hell go and check your passive-aggressive attitude. You're free to believe whatever you want and none of us will tell you that you're wrong, but by this site's definition, Slipknot isn't a metal band. End of story.'''

''AlternativeMetal666: In that case, I'm closing this account and never coming back here since I cannot change your minds whatsoever. I'm telling you, mods, you're gonna have to accept Slipknot in your site eventually, and eventually all of the "nu metal" bands in general, and when that day comes, don't come crying to me and saying that I was right all along for me educating you all on what actually is metal.''

[Admin]: K.

Metalhead parents, DO NOT do this to your kids...
Welcome back to yet another entitled parent story from your boy Mark! Now, the last post got a bit of controversy since people are thinking that my Entitled Parent stories are starting to look more like an archive for petty drama from Metal Archives. Well hopefully, this post will bring things back to full glory!

Now, I know that there are plenty of parents who listen to heavy metal, and those people are really cool. While my parents aren't huge on metal themselves, they also think some of the metalhead parents are cool. However, when it comes to the music their kids listen to, that's where the coolness stop...

You see, a lot of metalhead parents are worried that their kids are gonna get into rap, pop, classic rock, nu metal, metalcore/deathcore, djent, or other "undesirable" music genres. And with rap and pop being more prevalent in the mainstream than ever, those fears have went from bad to worse. Therefore, they end up pushing their kids into listening to metal. Now, it's okay if they play Iron Maiden on the radio or do some casual recommendations. However, I've seen some metalhead parents do some batshit insane shit to their kids, and it makes the good metalhead parents look bad.

A few months ago, me and my family were visiting the Saxon family, which were named after the NWOBHM band of the same name. Our visit was going fine, but then I noticed that their eldest daughter Hannah was listening to Saliva's "Every Six Seconds" album. Now, I only listen to a few nu metal bands, since most of it is cringy, and Saliva is a band I don't listen to.

Me: You actually listen to Saliva?

Hannah: Yeah. They're one of my favorite bands.

However, when her parents caught her listening to it, they flipped their shit! They deleted the album off her phone and berated her on how she could listen to that "evil corporate pandering" and "wiggerish rap metal" and that she was "disgracing the family". As punishment, they locked her in the closet and forced that poor girl to listen to Blasphemy! I like Blasphemy, but forcing her to listen to it was not okay in my books. I had to break the damn door down just so she could get out.

Hannah's Mom: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?! ARE YOU A POSER TOO?!?!

Me: Fuck no! I don't like Saliva either, but you don't see me locking people in a room and forcing them to listen to war metal! You remind me of Karen Karen!

For those who don't know, Karen Karen is this crazy bitch who locked her kids in "Yoko Ono's Torture Chamber" and forces them to listen to Yoko Ono for up to one hour. She was later arrested and sentenced to 30 years in prison.

Anyway, my family had to get the fuck out of there and my mom said she wasn't visiting them again. I also invited Hannah to my place for a bit until her parents got into consuling. She later told me that she never liked her parent's metal, and that she has to hide her nu metal albums so they won't find it.

But that's not all. Another similar incident happened when me and my friends went to a concert for At The Gates. This was in 2019, so this happened before COVID-19 took over. While we were headbanging to "Kingdom Come", I saw this family of three whose children were clearly not enjoying the concert.

Kid 1: Mom, can we move away from the stage? It's too loud!

Kid 2: Yeah! You didn't even bring us ear plugs!

Dad: Too bad! It's time you kids got into real music instead of that mumble rap crap!

Now, if the kids are to be believed, their parents have forced them to come to all kinds of metal concerts in an attempt to get them into metal, but have failed miserably. They even somehow snuck them into a Cradle of Filth concert with a strict adults only rule, and their youngest son was freaked out from Dani Filth's corpsepaint. He said he got nightmares because of it, but his parents told him to suck it up.

Near the end of the concert, the parents were asked to leave because the attendees were complaining that the kids were clearly not enjoying the music and that they worried there was some abuse going on behind the scenes. The parents went full-on Karen mode and told the security guards to fuck off and eat their asses like they were rebellious teenagers. It got to a point where the police had to get involved and kick them out. If there was one good thing that happened with the incident, Tomas Lindberg actually met the kids in person and told them that it's okay if they don't like metal. I'm not gonna lie, that wholesomeness nearly put me in tears.

Now, to any metalhead parent reading this, if your kid enjoys listening to metal, that's great! And if they aren't into metal, that's perfectly fine. You don't need to force them to get into metal, especially in these types of manners, since all that shit's gonna do is taint your relationship.

Kid gets bullied for liking Graveland and Nokturnal Mortum, and the bully gets a taste of his own medicine from kid's dad
For this one, me and my boys were at a metal convention in Bellingham, Washington. The convention is called the Extreme Metal Love Convention, which specializes in thrash, death, and black metal, as well as grindcore. I was viewing a display of Abruptum records when I saw this kid who looked to be 12 or 13 getting yelled at by this grown ass man.

Upon closer look, the man was part of an RABM group and was calling this kid a "fascist apologist" and "brainwashed neo-Nazi" because he bought some CDs to Nokturnal Mortum's "Lunar Poetry" and Graveland's "Thousand Swords". Now, Nokturnal Mortum and Graveland have been given shit for being NS. Nokturnal Mortum in particular was in the NSBM scene in their early years, and had a song called "The Call of the Aryan Spirit". Rob Darken also had connections to some white supremacist dipshits like Capricornus. I don't recommend you check out Capricornus's stuff, because it's pretty bad.

However, Nokturnal Mortum has since denounced their NSBM style and the scene in general, though Metal Archives says they still play at NSBM shows. As for Rob Darken, he ended up getting a concert at Montreal cancelled due to ANTIFA trying to start shit there, and he's since been chill and released some great viking metal albums, though I'm not sure about his far-right beliefs. However, this guy was going absolutely crazy on this kid.

Bully: You better return those CDs right now or so fucking help me God I will smash that shit in front of your white nationalist face!

Kid: I don't support Nazism, dude! I have black and Hispanic friends! Leave me alone!

The guy who sold the kid the CDs then came up to the guy.

Clerk: Bro, just chill the fuck out! Just because that kid listens to Nokturnal Mortum and Graveland doesn't make him a fascist. He's said multiple times that he doesn't condone their beliefs.

I even went up there myself and threatened to get security involved if he didn't slow his roll. It was at this point where his dad came.

Kid's Dad: What is going on here?

Me: Your son is being berated by this man because he thinks your son is on his way of joining the KKK just because he bought a Noktunal Mortum and Graveland CD!

Bully: Fuck your son! You're teaching that poor boy to hate non-whites! People like you are the reason why racism will NEVER truly die!

The dad fucking snapped. He punched the bully in the face and threatened to "let him have it" if he didn't fuck off. The bully dropped his tough guy look and ran off crying.

The manager came and apologized to the two for the incident. The dad said that he doesn't support any far-right music, but is fine with some bands like Burzum, Drudkh, Nokturnal Mortum, and Graveland. They were given some coupons for some of the more bigger stands there.

I would like to point out that I am completely against the NSBM scene in general, and I don't listen to Nokturnal Mortum and Graveland's more right-wing songs. However, as long as they denounce their past NSBM works, and aren't pieces of shits in real life, I'm tolerant with them.

NSBM fucktard tries to start a fight at a metal bar, bar owner confronts him, and he threatens to stab him to death
Oh boy, this one's gonna be a fun one, and not the good kind of fun.

For some background: One of the metalheads around the area is Jason. He's a notorious racist shithead who blasts NSBM and RAC music at night and has a history of starting fights at the local Rock n' Thrash Bar at downtown. The bar owner (Devin) told him that if he tried to start another fight in the bar again, then he was getting banned for life.

For this story, me and my friends were hanging out at the bar. Now, I was too young to be drinking alcohol at that time, so I opted to drink some good ol' Coca-Cola. Jason arrived at the bar and was visibly wasted like he drank ten bottles of vodka. He then began to play Goatmoon's "Finnish Steel Storm" at the karaoke machine.

Me: Oh, fuck, there's Jason and his damn NSBM again!

While Jason was thrashing around, some guy with an Ancst shirt came in and turned off the song, and played Panopticon's "Where Mountains Pierce the Sky".

Jason: Why the fuck did you changed the song?! I don't wanna listen to this hillbilly crap!

RABM Guy: Oh, I'm sorry, but not everyone is into your shitty NSBM bands! Some of us want to have a good time and not have to deal with your fascist beliefs!

Jason: BITCH, FUCK YOU!!! YOU WANNA GO?!?!

Jason began threatening this poor dude, and Devin had to come and stop it before things got too bad.

Devin: Jason, we need to talk...

Devin took Jason outside at the parking lot. I followed him, because if Jason was gonna get his ass beat (foreshadowing), then I had to be a witness to it!

Devin: Didn't I told you last time that if you tried to start a fight again then I was gonna ban you?

Jason: Look, pal, that ANTIFA jerkoff started it when he changed my fucking music! He should be getting banned instead! Now fuck off, baldie!

Now, Devin is a cool guy, but he's kinda sensitive of his head because he had a severe case of Alopecia areata, so he didn't appreciate Jason calling him "baldie".

Devin: (coming up to Jason) Let me tell you something...

Jason: BACK THE FUCK OFF, CUNT!!!

Jason then tried to throw a punch at Devin, but he instead grabbed his arm and tackled him down. He kneed on his stomach and held one arm down and held his other arm around his neck.

Devin: (extremely pissed) YOU'RE MESSING WITH THE WRONG GUY, PAL!!! Look, you're tripping on me, the Ancst guy, and you're tripping in general! You need to shut the FUCK up and chill the hell out! Now I'm calling you a fucking cab, and you're going home. You understand me?!

Jason: You better get the-

Devin: (interrupting Jason) PERIOD!!! I'M NOT GONNA FUCKING EXPLAIN SHIT TO YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!!! YOU'RE GONNA SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, OR YOU'RE GONNA GO TO JAIL JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING DRUNK IDIOT WHO TRIED TO START SHIT!!! Now quit acting like a tough guy, damnit!

Devin released him, and you'd think that Jason would've fucked off right then and there, but as you've seen from the title, the complete opposite happened. He got up and suddenly pulled a knife out!

Devin: What the fuck are you doing?!

Jason: WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?!?! YOU WANNA TACKLE ME TO THE FUCKING GROUND AND YELL AT MY FACE, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!

Devin was now backing away while me and others were trying to stop him. Jason then stabbed his knife at a car window, causing the window to shatter and the alarm to go off.

Jason: (screeching) '''I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, DUDE!!! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!'''

Jason was screaming his ass off and was screaming like James Read from a Revenge album.

Me: Bro, chill the hell out! You don't need to do this!

Jason: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!! WHITE POWER, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

At that point, two police cars pulled up and Jason ended up getting tased after he tried to charge at one of the cops with a knife. He was charged with disorderly conduct as well as threatening someone, threatening a police officer, and attempted assault with a deadly weapon. The last time I've heard of him, he took a plea that got him out of jail, but he was placed on house arrest for over a year and then spent the next 10 years on probation. I think he moved out of town or something. Devin was shocked by the entire incident, but he's since moved past it.

Black metal elitist disrespects fans who died at a Travis Scott concert
Mark here again. Man has it been a while since I've posted here. Oh well, time for yet another story where someone can't help but act all shitty.

For those who don't know, Travis Scott held a concert in Houston just yesterday, and boy were people going crazy for it! I saw a huge herd of people running through the gates while security did nothing! But that turned out to be a problem, because later that night, the crowd was beginning to be compressed and crushed, and many people ended up suffering from cardiac arrests for it. 8 people ended up dying, and many more got hospitalized. There were also two others who later succumbed to their injuries, one of which was a 9-year-old boy. What really pissed me off is that Travis was still performing while all of this was happening. I mean, if your fans are dropping like flies after being crushed, you should probably stop rapping and try to help them out.

While I'm personally not a fan of Travis Scott, I have a friend who loves him and felt devastated to see those people being carried away by paramedics during the whole thing. Another concert that was supposed to be held today got cancelled, and Travis issued his condolences.

However, there's one person who didn't felt so sorry, and that was Greg Wittens. Greg lives in Twin Falls, Idaho and plays in a one-man raw black metal band named Kursed Vampyre. I met him before at a concert in Seattle and he was actually a pretty cool guy. However, on Twitter, he quoted a tweet of the incident and said this:

''FUCK YEAH!!! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT IN CONCERTS!!! PEOPLE DYING WHILE AN ARTIST STILL PERFORMS!!! WHY CAN'T BLACK METAL CONCERTS BE LIKE THAT?!?!''

What. The. Ass. This shit is exactly why people hate black metal! I mean, not even the craziest black metal concert I went to was even close to the chaos at that Travis Scott concert!

Long story short, Greg got flamed on Twitter for that disrespectful comment. Some even compared it to Princess Starlight mocking a racist's dead aunt and Hope Plank mocking Joey Jordison in the wake of his passing. I especially felt pissed at the latter because Slipknot is one of the few nu metal bands I listen to and I do love Joey's drumming. The fact that he can drum while upside-down was very impressive.

But as if that wasn't enough, Greg Whorens proceeded to double down on his statement and called them "posers" who "don't know shit about metal music". He eventually got his account suspended, and I don't think he's gonna come back anytime soon.

Nora Heart attempts to hide out at my place from the police, then tries to steal my Revenge vinyls
Here's some background for those who don't know: Nora Heart was this crazy ass chick who appeared in Supernanny (which is currently hosted by Gloria Robinson). She acted like an absolute madwoman throughout the entire episode, and near the end of it, she shot Gloria in the head three times. This was especially crazy, considering Gloria was only 23 at that time! Thankfully she survived, but Nora was arrested and sentenced to life in prison for attempted murder and a whole lot of other charges.

Now, me and my family watched the episode when it first aired, and my parents were in utter shock. They didn't really think a girl her age would've been capable to do the shit that Nora did, and suspected that some of it was staged. I personally think it's real. I mean, I doubt even the best of acting can get you to scream like that.

Just a few weeks ago, however, it was reported that Nora was out on parole. While it was unknown how she was able to appeal her case, the news reported that Nora was moving near Seattle in an attempt to start a new life, especially since her family disowned her and wanted nothing to do with her. I didn't even think much of it until last night...

I just finished watching Metalocalypse and was ready to sleep in. Suddenly, I heard a window shatter and someone crawling in. When I went downstairs to investigate, guess who I see? Nora-fucking-Heart. Her clothes were dirty, and she smelled like she just rolled in a pile of pig shit.

Me: What the hell?! How did you ge-

Nora: (Interrupting me) SSSSSHHH! I need to stay here for a bit!

Next thing I knew, she rushed to the bathroom and camped there for 10 minutes. I just ran to my room wondering what the hell to do. I would've called my parents, but they were sleeping. Plus, I was worried if I called the police, she would've made a big ass scene of it and go apeshit. Before I knew it, though, she comes in my room wearing my mom's clothes!

Nora: Do you have one of those inflatable beds? I need to crash here for the night, and then I'll leave tomorrow morning.

Me: You're not crashing here! Get the fuck out!

However, Nora noticed some things on my desk.

Nora: Is that Revenge?! I actually got into them while I was in that fucking prison, and they're right up there with Carcass in terms of my favorite bands!

The vinyls in question were from Revenge's first three albums "Triumph.Genocide.Antichrist", "Victory.Intolerance.Mastery", and "Infiltration.Downfall.Death". I had all of Revenge's albums on CDs, but I wanted to come at their vinyls as well. These particular pressings were the bronze-colored vinyls that Osmose Productions issued in 2018.

Me: Before you ask, you're not taking them! You don't even have a damn record player, so what's the point?

Nora: (Whining like she's six) But I want them!

Me: Hell no! Now get out! You've already outstayed your welcome!

Nora: FUCK YOU!!! I WANT THEM RIGHT NOW!!!

The next thing I knew, Nora snatches the records and makes a run for it. Now, I'm normally tired as hell at midnight, but the second someone tries to steal my precious records, I go prancing like a cheetah. She actually ran all the way to the nearby pond and threatened to throw them in there.

Nora: BACK OFF OR ELSE I'M THROWING THEM IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY ASS POND SO THE GAY F****T ALLIGATORS CAN EAT THEM!!!

Me: Just leave them alone! Do you even know how much I paid for those?!

Right when Nora was about to throw them in, a cop who was looking at us from afar approached. He quickly noticed who Nora was and went to detain her once he realized she was up to no good. That's when Nora screeched like an absolute banshee and resisted like crazy.

Nora: 'LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NOT GO BACK TO THAT FUCKING PRISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!'

Eventually, Nora was able to calm down and the officer was finally able to cuff her, but not before she got tased three times. It felt like being in an episode of COPS or Live PD. Nora would've been given an additional charge of violating her parole as well as another charge of resisting arrest. As for the vinyls, they were thankfully unharmed, and the covers just needed a bit of cleaning from the dirt of the ground.

Another day, another wild-ass Metal Archives Band Appeal story
Mark here again, and I got another MA story for you all. Yeah, I know you're disappointed to hear me not talk about some weird parents or some shit like that, but I couldn't resist not posting this story!

For this one, it's about the deathcore band Lorna Shore. You may be familiar with them if you're in that scene, which I'm not since I fucking hate metalcore/deathcore. However, last year, they released a 3-track EP named "...And I Return To Nothingness". And I'm not gonna lie: This one slapped like a bitch. I mean, yeah, there were some core parts, but overall, it was a nice deathcore EP with some black metal elements thrown in it. Why do I mention it? Well the band's new EP was brought up in the Band Appeal thread, and... well, you'll see for yourself...

''NigelMiguela: Hey. Lorna Shore appears to have released their latest EP "...And I Return To Nothingness", and this is straight up blackened deathcore with very little core parts. Maybe this one has a better shot at getting in than Immortal, which was borderline.''

'''[Admin]: Hey, Nigel, thanks for your consideration. While the EP was determined to be mainly metal, at the same time, it doesn't exactly cut it considering their discography making up of borderline/unacceptable core releases. If they released another full-length that is like that EP in terms of metalness, then we'll reconsider it.'''

That sounds fair, and you'd think that they would've left it at that. Unfortunately, this user by the name of LornaShoreStan666 jumped in and started some shit.

''LornaShoreStan666: Are you fucking serious? This is easily the most metal thing they've ever done! Even metalheads I know who despise deathcore loved it and say it's metal! And you're gonna look me straight in the eye and say "uGgGh, It's sTiLl nOt gOiNg tO MaKe tHe cUt bEcAuSe tHeRe's oNlY ThReE SoNgS!!!!11"? That's just proof once in for all that you gay ass mods hate this band and are doing everything in your power to ensure they don't get on! I mean, for fuck sakes, if Agoraphobic Nosebleed can get on MA based on their EP Arc, then I don't see what the problem is in bringing Lorna Shore on here based on an EP of theirs!''

[Admin]: Well, in the case of Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Arc is longer than two of their four full length albums, and only a minute less in length than one of the two that are longer, so it's not that good of a comparison.

'''But yeah, a 3 song EP isn't going to cut it. If they release more EPs of a similar length it might be okay. But just one? Nah.'''

''LornaShoreStan666: Fuck that! That EP, as well as Immortal, are mainly metal albums through and through! While Immortal had more core parts than AIRTN, it's still metal! Why not just let them in as an exception like with Mortiis or Rush?''

[Admin]: We don't accept non-metal projects as exceptions anymore, so that's not gonna help either.

'''I'm sorry, but based on the material available so far, this band is unacceptable. And that isn't really going to change unless their output going forward happens to continue making more releases in the vain of the AIRTN EP. Just let it go.'''

''LornaShoreStan666: Well I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let it go that fucking easily! I also noticed another similar deathcore band named Oceano and even Body-fucking-Count are blacklisted from MA as well. It's because the vocalists are black, isn't it? And that's not to mention that Suicide Silence, Bring Me The Horizon, and Between the Buried and Me were ALL in MA once before you fuckers suddenly decided "aCtUaLlY, tHeSe bAnDs aRe nO LoNgEr mEtAl, So wE'Re jUsT GoNnA ReMoVe tHeM AlOnG WiTh oThEr cOrE BaNdS In tHe hOpEs tHaT No oNe wIlL NoTiCe!1". Well guess what, f****t? WE DID NOTICED!!! SO LET THEM THE FUCK BACK IN BEFORE I WILL!!!''

[Admin]: What the actual fuck?

'''For starters, if we blacklisted Oceano and Body Count on the sole basis of the vocalists being black, then we would also have to remove Blasphemy, Mystifier, Suffocation, and Suicidal Tendencies since they all have black members as well. When it comes to a metal band being accepted, the only thing that matters at the end of the day is the music, not the ethnicity of the members.'''

'''Also, it's true that Suicide Silence, Bring Me The Horizon, and Between the Buried and Me were all in MA at one point, but those bands were later found to have been added in error since none of their releases were found to be predominantly metal, and the same happened to Five Finger Death Punch and Kvelertak. Bands that were initially accepted, but were found to not have any metal releases. Hell, one of the members in Kvelertak even disputed our decision to add them here, since he said the band wasn't metal. The thing is, bands that were added in error would eventually be removed as a way to keep MA pure of non-metal bands, hence, why we have the Cleansing the archives thread.'''

'''And one last thing: Don't ever use homophobic language on this board again. This is coming from the mod team. This isn't 2007, and homophobic language and especially the f word will NOT be tolerated here. Thank you.'''

''LornaShoreStan666: Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh? WELL FUCK YOU TOO, THEN!!! I'M CLOSING MY ACCOUNT AND NEVER COMING BACK SINCE YOU F****TS WANNA BLACKLIST LORNA SHORE AND OTHER AMAZING BANDS FOR NO REASON!!! FUCK YOU ALL, AND GO EAT A DICK SINCE YOU ALL ARE NOTHING BUT QUEER F****TS WHO LIKE THAT SHIT!!! LORNA SHORE FOREVER!!! FUCK OFF, ELITISTS!!!''

'''[Admin]: You know, shit like this is the reason why I sometimes question my existence. But then I think of Party Cannon, and I understand my reason for existing. ;)'''