Teavee Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Kyle: "STOP IIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!"

Announcer: "Jo travels to Dallas in Texas to meet the family of a stay at home single divorced dad."

Submission Reel
Jo: "Here I am in Texas ready to help a single divorced dad who needs my help. Let's take a look and see who we got, shall we?"

???: "Hi, we're the Teavee Family! I'm Mike and I'm a stay at home single divorced dad. I have three children, 11 year old Hannah, 7 year old Matt and 4 year old Kyle."

Mike: "My only daughter, Hannah is a million per cent well behaved and she will be having her 12th birthday party in a few days time."

Mike: "My wife Sharon "

[We see a picture of Mike's former wife Sharon]

Mike: "I got a divorce over a year ago."

Mike: "For Matt and Kyle, I tried Military School, Therapeutic Boarding School, Boot Camp, Behavior Modification Camp, but they didn't work."

Mike:Matt encourages his younger brother to do naughty stuff.

Jo Arrives at the Teavee Doorstep
[Jo rings the doorbell]

AM Morning
Mike: "Okay guys, your breakfast is ready on the table and so you have to be ready for school."

Hannah: "Okay, dad!"

Kyle: "NO!!!!"

Matt: "That ain't gonna happen!"

Mike: "If you boys aren't dressed, then you're going to school in your pajamas!"

PM Noon
Jo: "Whilst the children were at school, I sat down and had a chat with Mike."

Jo: "So Mike, tell me about your divorce with your wife."

Mike: "Sharon moved back with her parents to Denver in Colorado where she was born and raised in."

Jo: "Has any holiday been ruined by your sons?"

Mike: "Christmas was totally ruined while we were at my parents' house in Marble Falls, Arizona to spend the holidays with them because Mike and Kyle were shoplifting from the mall. They gobbled up all the fudge and cookies. This was the first Christmas we've celebrated as a family since Sharon and I got divorced. Then on Christmas Day, those bad boys recieved nothing but coal and sticks in their stockings and they each got notes from Santa as their only Christmas presents and I told them as a result of being put on Santa's Naughty List, they have now lost all of their privileges and for a year. And then they decided to attack Hannah for being the only one who got presents and she screamed and cried for help and I came rushing to her side. Later, they stole presents from their cousins and claimed them as their own. And then they ruined Christmas dinner made by my mom by starting a huge food fight with their cousins."

Jo: "I can only imagine."

Mike: "What's worse, Easter was a sheer nightmare! We were having an Easter Party at my sister's house. It got off to a bad start when Mike and Kyle threw eggs over Hannah's head and doused purple egg dye all over her white dress, which was expensive and dry-clean only. The eggs and the dye are for decorating. It cost me a lot of money to get the stains out at the local cleaners."

Observation Continues
[After school, the kids go home]

Mike: "Hi, sweetie! How was school today?"

Hannah: "It was good, Dad."

Matt: "Go Kyle! Go Kyle! Play it!"

[Kyle starts playing Call of Duty]

Mike: "Matthew, don't encourage him!"

Kyle: "Die, die, die!"

Matt: "But Dad...you always like violent games and TV shows as a kid, right?"

The Phone Call
Nicole: "Hello, who's calling?"

Mike: "This is Mike Teavee, a single divorced father calling from Dallas in Texas. I have three kids, 11 year old Hannah, 7 year old Matt and 4 year old Kyle."

Nicole: "Is their any problems with your kids?"

Mike: "My only daughter Hannah is the only one who is a million per cent well behaved and her 12th birthday is coming up, but as for Matt and Kyle, they're...far from it."

Nicole: "How so?"

Mike: "Well Nicole, they ruin the holidays and special occasions, swear, talk back, spit, bully Hannah and they show a complete lack of respect for authority."

Nicole: "Okay Mike, if Matt and Kyle swear, give them a Green Smoothie and for being naughty boys, Matt will go on the Naughty Platform for 7 minutes and Kyle will be on the Naughty Chair for 4 minutes. You got it?"

Mike: "Sure thing!"

Nicole: "Okay, best of luck to you, Mike."

Mike: "Thanks a bunch Nicole."

Naughty Platform and Naughty Chair
Jo: "It wasn't long until Matt kicked off because he encouraged Kyle to hit Hannah."

Jo: "Mike, I'd like you to give Matt a warning."

Mike: "Matthew, we do not hit. That is not nice, if you do that again, then you will go into time-out on the Naughty Platform."

Green Smoothie
Matt: "(bleep) off, you stupid (bleep)!"

Matt and Kyle talk to Jo
Matt: "I miss Mom, but I'm afraid to ask dad if I can talk to her."

One day till Hannah's Party
Mike: "Okay, Hannah, what theme would you like this year, sweetie?"

Hannah: "Mmmmmm....how about a mall scavenger hunt this year?"

Mike: "Great choice! I'll call the stores at the mall in advance."

On the day of Hannah's Party
Hannah: "Oh dad, this party is gonna be awesome!"

Mike: "I think so too, honey."

[Hannah's friends, Miley, Sally, Sydney, Macey, Penny, Ruby, Lisa, Vivian, Lindsay, Jeannie and Josie arrive]

Hannah: "Mall scavenger hunt, here we come!"

Mike: "All right, ladies. We'll divide 12 people into 2 teams. I've got your scavenger hunt lists right here. Here are the rules: There is a 10 point bonus for the first team to arrive at the mall meeting place. 5 points will be rewarded for each item teams bring back, but no two items may be from the same store. Salespersons initials are required on all items. 5 points are rewarded for a picture of each item. Receipts are required for the $10 hunt. Remember, there is also a point deduction for every instance of running, screaming or rude behavior towards salespeople or other shoppers and a 1 point deduction for every minute teams are late to the mall meeting place. The first team to finish their list, make it back within the time limit and has the most points, wins. Good luck, ladies."

[Mike blows a whistle]

Matt and Kyle vs. the Babysitter
Jo: "I decided to take Mike out to spend a day at the opera. So the kids stayed home with a young babysitter named Jane Dumais."

Jane: "I have my babysitting notebook with me as always."

Mike: "Okay. Now, Jane, I'd like to show you something new here that Jo has given me."

Jane: "Okay."

Mike: "If Matt and Kyle are naughty, give them a warning and if they continue, Matt has to go on the Naughty Platform for 7 minutes and Kyle must sit on the Naughty Chair for 4 minutes."

Jane: "So where are they."

Mike: "I'll show you."

[Jane writes down all the information in her babysitting notebook]

Mike: "If those boys carry on swearing, then they'll have to drink a Green Smoothie. So I'll give you this thing here."

[Mike hands Jane a copy of the recipe for the Green Smoothie]

Mike: "I wrote the ingrediants for the Green Smoothie and I added the places in the kitchen where you can find them."

[Mike hands Jane a long list of emergency numbers]

Family Update
Mike: "Since Jo was gone, I "