Cloud Family/Transcript

Before the Revolving Line of Credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Hailey: "I hate this family!"

Hailey: "I don't want to be your daughter anymore!"

Hailey: "Ai deserved it. She is a crybaby!"

Announcer: "Annie goes to Helena, Montana to visit a Chinese family."

Morgan: ”Mulan, come on!”

Mulan: ”” (Translation: Stop touching me!)

Submission Reel
Annie: "You are with me in Helena, Montana to meet a Chinese-American Family."

???: "Hi, I'm Agatha Sr., and I am a part-time real estate agent."

???: "Hi, I'm John., and I am a full-time paramedic."

???: "Hi, I'm Agatha Jr., but I'm usually called Aggie."

???: "你好，我是娇" (Translation: Hello, I'm Jiao)

???: "你好，我是宋" (Translation: Hello, I'm Song)

Agatha Sr: "We have 16 kids, 12 are from China and 1 granddaughter, Jiao and Song are 20, Aggie is 19, Baozhai is 18, Zhao is 17, Wei is 16, Mei is 15, Mulan is 14, Morgan is 13, Dongmei is 12, Mingzhui is 11, Jane is 10, Chun is 9, Chen is 8, Ling is 7, Hailey is 6, and our granddaughter Ai is 2 1/2 is Jiao's daughter and her birthday is coming soon."

John: "Aggie, Jane and the Chinese kids are well-behaved, but Hailey and Morgan, but mostly Hailey are far from it, Hailey throws tantrums, hits people, swears, screams, and terrorizes Ai because she wants to be the baby of the family, Ai and her Chinese uncles and aunts do not speak English, but me and my wife are Chinese-American, Morgan is mostly-behaved but often has a real problem being grateful, other than that, she is well-behaved, and dates her 19-year old boyfriend from China, Xiaoping, despite having a criminal record, he is actually kind to us, he is friends with Aggie, Zhao, and the twins, he stole cars but Morgan doesn't really seem to realize."

Agatha Sr. "Hailey has been kicked out of several schools in the last year, Morgan misbehaves because of Hailey, she feels she is not getting attention."

[Morgan hits Mulan]

Mulan: "” (Translation: Ow! Morgan!)

Morgan: "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HAILEY!"

Morgan: "She ruined Chinese New Year, Zhao's birthday, grandfather's funeral and many others."

Hailey: "I hate this family, and all of you stupid Chinese dorks!"

Morgan: "The family has tried every behavior modification facility we could think of in hopes of straightening Hailey up, but...none of them worked. We tried everything, but Hailey seems to keep on winning every battle against us."

John: "Mei, my daughter has ADHD and Asperger's, she is very silent, and she hardly talks, she speaks in a robotic manner and says very little words, Hailey mocks her for her disorders."

Mei: "" (Translation: Recommendation: Leave room)

Hailey: "SHUT UP YOU ROBOTIC-SPEAKING whore!"

Mei: "" (Translation: Go.....away....I'll make you cry)

Hailey: "Mommy is a big, stinky, ugly, fat motherfucking bitch!"

[Hailey flips the bird]

Hailey: "I'll blow up this house and kill everyone!"

[Hailey draws a picture of her mother being run over by a giant lawn mower, bleeding to death]

[Hailey writes bad words on the walls]

[Hailey pees in the streets]

Annie: "Enough is enough."

Agatha Sr.: "Also, the entire family except Hailey are vegetarians."

John: "And refuse to kill any animals except Hailey."

Agatha Sr.: "Supernanny for you now!"

Annie Arrives at the Door
Annie: "Good afternoon. You must be Agatha Cloud Jr."

[we see Jane with her left arm in a cast, Mulan's right foot wrapped in bandages, Chun has a patch over the left eye, Zhao's head is wrapped in bandages and Aggie's leg is in a cast]

Annie: "Where's Hailey?"

Morgan: "Oh, she's grounded in her room for two weeks."

Annie: "Why?"

Morgan: "She nearly killed our neighbor, Mrs. James' parakeet with Song's old BB gun, and she Tapped our neighbor, Mr. Connor's house. She also pushed Jane in front of a moving car in the street, causing her to get hit."

Annie: "Well, may I go and see her?"

Morgan: "Sure, but be careful."

[All of a sudden, we hear Hailey yelling obscenities and other things unmentionable]

Morgan: "KEEP QUIET UP THERE!"

[Mei is seen, reading about Chinese history, she hears the racket and covers her ears]

[Hailey is screaming on the top of her lungs]

Mei: "“ (Translation: Get her......be quiet)

Observation Begins
[Song is watching a Chinese Game Show on his and Jiao's laptop]

Hailey: "LET ME USE THE LAPTOP! SONG, OR ELSE I'M GONNA BEAT YOU TO DEATH!"

Song: "海利，而且，这是我和我的双胞胎妹妹的笔记本电脑" (Translation: No way, Hailey, besides, this is me and my twin sister's laptop)

Hailey: "YOU WERE ON IT ALL f(bleep)ING DAY! LET ME USE IT!!"

Song: "别闹了，看电视或东西" (Translation: Stop it, watch TV or something.)

[Song is listening to Chinese rock]

Hailey: "LET ME USE IT OR I WILL RIP YOUR (bleep)ING STOMACH OPEN! TAKE YOUR INSTESTINES AND USE THEM AS RIBBONS, AND I WILL LOCK YOU IN TO STARVE TO DEATH YOU (bleep)ING ANOREXIC SON OF A (bleep)!"

Agatha Jr.: "What's going on?"

[Song points at Hailey, who's throwing a tantrum]

Agatha Jr.: "What's wrong, Song?"

[Song writes a note to Agatha Jr., it says "She wanted to use my laptop, when I said no, she threw a tantrum, she threatened me by saying she will rip my stomach open, take my intestines, and use them as ribbons, really gross, Aggie." and passes it to her]

Agatha Sr.: "Aggie and Jiao have to look after the kids while we are gone, it turns into havoc after a few minutes."

Morgan: "She does it all the time, will she ever stop? I wish mom payed attention to me, but one of Aggie, Song and Jiao's friend at university, Xiaoping understands how I fell, he is quite friendly to the family."

Agatha Jr.: "Hailey Megan, come with me right now."

Hailey: "Fine you, dirty horse-banking skank whore!"

[Agatha Jr. takes Hailey to her room]

Agatha Jr.: "You do NOT ever threaten to hurt your siblings because you wanted to use their things, that's a no-no, you aren't allowed to use your brother and sister's things, stay in your room for 6 minutes, then I will come and get you."

[Hailey slaps Agatha Jr.]

Agatha Jr: "Don't you hit me either!"

Hailey: "I hate you."

[Hailey spits in Agatha Jr's face]

[Agatha Jr. leaves the room]

cut to:

[Zhao is drawing Chinese characters with ink]

[John arrives home]

John: "Sorry I'm late, everyone. I had to drive my co-worker Stephen home since his car broke down, and there was a kid who was having a serious asthma attack at a church youth group. The meeting ran a little later than expected."

Cut to:

[Hailey trashing her room]

[Hailey flips her bed upside down, smashing her windows, punching holes in the walls and smashing her mirror]

Observation Continues
Annie: "An hour or so later, Hailey made a very racist note on her mom's iPad 10. As a result, she was disciplined."

[Hailey types in a racist document in the Notes app on her mother's iPad 10 which reads "Chinese pal are no-brainers cuz i hate them and i wish that every1 in Asia died in a boat wreck. Plz go f*** yourself u Chinese maggots and i also wish that China never existed cuz this family sax with nasty-looking Chinese peps. So all Asians need to go f*** themselves on purpose."]

[Hailey snickers and silently tiptoes out of sight]

[Agatha Sr. looks at her iPad 10 which displays Hailey's created document]

Agatha Sr.: "HAILEY MEGAN CLOUD!"

Hailey: "YES, AGATHA TRACEY CLOUD SR.?!"

Agatha Sr.: "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SUCH A RACIST DOCUMENT?!"

Hailey: "BECAUSE I HATE ASIANS IN THIS FAMILY!"

Agatha Sr.: "You know what that means? YOU EARNED A TRIP TO THE REFLECTION ROOM! Also, do not address me by my given name. I am your mother."

Hailey: "SHUT UP, C(bleep)!"

Parent Meeting
Annie: "I'm going to have a family meeting."

Mall Mayhem
Annie: "When the family was out buying Ai's birthday present, Hailey wanted to go to her friend, Janie's house, when Agatha Sr. said no, she kicked up a tantrum."

Hailey: "Can I go to Janie's house?"

Agatha Sr.: "Not today, we are buying a birthday present for Ai."

Hailey: "I WANT TO GO TO JANNNNNNNNNNIE'S HOUSSSSSSSSE!"

[Hailey throws a tantrum like a 2-year old]

Hailey: "I WANT JANIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Agatha Sr.: "You cannot go to Janie's house today because we are buying Ai a birthday present."

Hailey: "YOU ALWAYS CARE ABOUT THOSE STUPID TWINS, AGATHA, THE VET, THE 4 YOUTUBERS, BLONDIE, THOSE CHINESE BRATS, AND THAT GOODY-GOODY 2-YEAR OLD WHO GETS WHAT SHE WANTS MORE THAN ME AND MORGAN!"

Agatha Sr.: "Because they have better behaviors, unlike you and Morgan but she is more behaved than you."

Hailey: "IT ALWAYS WHAT AI WANTS! WHEN I GET TO DO SOMETHING IT IS NO, NO, NO! NOT TODAY AND TOO LATE!!! Ai is a such (bleep)ing goody-goody!, SHE GETS WHAT SHE WANTS AND I DON'T!!! I WILL HAVE MY LITTLE PONY AS THE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME!"

Agatha Sr.: "Because she knows how to behave, and she is good enough to get things."

Hailey: "That does it, I'm gonna pee in my pants!"

Wei: "当妈妈也说，倪浩启兰为主题的党，黑利希望我的小马为主题，黑利踢了一个巨大的发脾气" (Translation: When Mom also said Ni-Hao Kai-Lan was the theme of the party, Hailey wanted My Little Pony as the theme, Hailey kicked up a huge tantrum)

Agatha Sr.: "Ni-Hao Kai-Lan is the theme of the party."

Hailey: "IT'S NOT FAIIIIIIIIIR! I WILL HAVE MY LITTLE PONY NOW!"

[Hailey screams]

Hailey: "I'll pee in my pants right now!"

Hailey: "Chinese people are disgusting cockroaches."

Agatha Sr.: "Listen to me Hailey, continue and you will lose your Baby Annabelle dolls for a week, and you'll go in the Reflection Room, It's Ai's decision, not yours."

cut to:

Ai: "妈妈，叔叔的歌，我希望有一个开兰娃娃" (Translation: Mommy, Uncle Song, I want a Kai-Lan doll)

Song: "我和妈妈将让你一启兰娃娃" (Translation: Me and Mommy will get you a Kai-Lan doll)

Jiao: "观望" (Translation: Wait and see)

Annie: "The tantrum went on when the family went out to eat at a restaurant."

Agatha Sr.: "Hailey has been kicked out of several schools in the last year. We tried Therapeutic Boarding School for kids who had behavioral problems at home, Behavior Modification Camp, Military School, Boot Camp and Residential Treatment Center. We tried everything."

Annie: "Can you tell me what she has ruined?"

Song: "黑利被踢出了无数的学校在过去一年. 她也毁了很多假期" (Translation: "Hailey was kicked out of countless schools in the previous year. She also has ruined many holidays.")

Morgan: "My 13th birthday which was One Direction-themed was ruined because of her, me and my friends had a Han Dynasty-like dance after the party which was held at the community center, it went well for a few minutes until she splatted me with water balloons, how embarrassing and crazy."

Agatha Jr: "Chinese New Year was ruined because of her, we prevented her from going to Janie's house because it was Chinese New Year, and what else? she nearly killed Zhao, Ai and Mom but they were saved, by me and Wei."

Agatha Sr.: "Mulan's 14th birthday was ruined because of Hailey, who changed the music to the MLP: Friendship Is Magic theme which Mulan hates, ate the cookies we provided, and threw the cake at her friends, piece by piece."

Morgan: "Christmas was horrible. Hailey shoplifted some toys from the department store. In Christmas Eve, she gobbled up all of the cookies which were left out for Santa Claus. When it came time to open presents on Christmas morning, Hailey stole presents from her niece Ai and some from her cousins and claimed them as her own."

Agatha Jr.: "St. Patrick's Day was ruined because Hailey and Zhao got intoxicated during a parade, but Zhao only had a fever and nothing else and recovered after we used painkillers, but Hailey began throwing up and got sick, we told all the kids except Hailey to stay upstairs."

Morgan: "Halloween was a sheer nightmare."

Ai's 3rd Birthday
Annie: "It was Ai's 3rd Birthday, she was having a Ni-Hao, Kai-Lan-themed birthday which was celebrated at Chuck E Cheese's, she invited her friends from Pre-K and ballet class."

Annie: "They played games like Ye-ye says, Wake Up Mr. Sun, Guess the Chinese word, and more."

[On the banner, it says "有开兰生日艾！" which means "Have a Kai-Lan birthday Ai!"]

Song and Wei: "我们得到了一个惊喜给你，艾" (Translation: We got a surprise for you, Ai)

Ai: "这是什么？" (Translation: What is it?)

[Song gives Ai a beautifully decorated present]

Ai: "它是开兰吗？" (Translation: Is it Kai-Lan?)

[Ai unwraps the present revealing a Kai-Lan plush]

Ai: "太棒了！" (Translation: Yay!)

Jane: "You got a Kai-Lan doll, aww."

[Hailey is sulking in the corner]

Hailey: "Why do they like Jane more than me and Morgan!"

Agatha Sr.: "Stop complaining."

Hailey: "No! I will not! Anyway, where are we going, I wanna go to McDonald's."

Agatha Sr.: "We are not going to McDonald's, we are going to Chuck E Cheese."

Annie: "Hailey then threw a tantrum."

Hailey: "I DON'T LIKE CHUCK E CHEESE! I WANNA GO TO MCDONALD'S!"

Morgan: "Remember what happened to Zhao? He got sick due to his table salt allergy."

Hailey: "I don't care what happened to that f(bleep)ing c(bleep)t Zhao! I WANT MCDONALD'S!"

Agatha Sr.: "No, we are NOT going to McDonald's, we are going to Chuck E Cheese and that's final!"

Hailey: "That does it, I'm peeing in my pants!"

[Hailey pees in her pants]

Agatha Sr.: "You do not pee in your pants. That was bad."

[Jiao comes down to Hailey's height]

(Hailey slaps Jiao)

Jiao: "" (Translation: Hailey, listen to me, Ai wants to go to Chuck E Cheese for her birthday, continue and you'll be placed in the Reflection Room when we get back to our house, you don't make the theme and where you want to go to)

(Hailey hits Jiao)

Hailey: "I WANT MY LITTLE PONY AND MCDONALD'S OR I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND THROW IT TO THE COPPER PAN!"

Annie: "The tantrum worsened."

Hailey: "I HATE NI HAO, KAI-LAN AND CHUCK E CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Jiao grabs Hailey by her hand and puts her in the Reflection Room, no conversation, then writes in English on a piece of paper "Stay there for 6 minutes, just because it's someone's birthday doesn't mean you make the theme and what you want to go to for Ai's party, It's Ai's choice, not yours." then leaves]

Hailey: I could kill you right now, you c(bleep)t!"

[Hailey tears up the note without further warning and sprinkles the pieces onto the carpet]

6 minutes later

Agatha Sr.: "Hailey, the reason why Jiao put you in the Reflection Room was because you were being spoiled and moody with the theme and where we are going to. Now I'd like an apology."

Hailey: "I'm sorry."

Agatha Sr.: "Good girl."

[Agatha hugs and kisses Hailey]

At Chuck E Cheese's
[The family are in their car]

Agatha Sr.: "I can't believe our little Ai is turning 3 years old."

Hailey: "I STILL WANNA GO TO MCCCDDDDOOOOOONNNNNNAAAAAALLLLLLDDD'S!!!!!!!"

Morgan: "Cut it out, you nit!"

cut to:

[The family and Ai and her friends at McDonalds]

Giuseppina: "Happy birthday!"

[Ai bows at Giuseppina]

[Emily shows Ai a present]

Emily: "Ai, here's a present for you, mate."

Ai: "" (Translation: "For me? Thank you!")

[Ai unwraps the present to reveal a Kung Fu Panda 2 DVD]

Ai: "" (Translation: "Thanks, Emily!")

Fillip: "Ai, happy birthday, my friend!"

Ai: "" (Translation: "Thank you, Fillip!")

[Feng hugs Ai]

Feng: "祝你生日快乐" (Translation: Happy Birthday.)

Agatha Jr.: "Ai's classmates, Feng from China, Ajith from India, Ryosuke from Japan, Giuseppina from Italy, Sami from the UK, Coco from France, Emily from Australia, Wang-Jung from South Korea, Marco from Mexico, Josie from Ghana, Ronald from Canada, Fillip from Germany, and Choo from Thailand are all her friends are all 3 years old."

Ai: "谢谢！" (Translation: Thank you!)

Jane: "Ai is Feng's female counterpart in so many ways, they are from a Chinese-American Family and never speak English, and they are the best of friends."

Hailey: (mumbles) "Why couldn't I stay home instead?"

[Hailey is carrying a box]

[Hailey pees, defalcates and farts into the ball pit]

Morgan: "MOM! HAILEY PEED, POOPED AND FARTED IN THE BALL PIT!"

[Agatha Sr. examines the pee and poo in the ball pit]

[Agatha Sr. examine the smell of Hailey's fart in the ball pit]

Agatha Sr.: [blocks her nose] "Poo!"

[Hailey runs around naked]

Baozhai: "Mom, Hailey is running around naked!"

[Hailey pees, defecates and farts on the workers and employees]

Workers and employees: "Augh, poooo!"

Agatha Sr.: "Hailey Megan, you put your clothes back on this instant before someone sees you!"

[Ai screams in the background]

[Hailey karate kicks the employee, causing him to fall over on the floor, and Hailey begins jumping on his face up and down]

Hailey: "I'M GONNA BEHEAD YOU!"

[Hailey steals a soda drink from a teenager and pours the half-eaten pizza all over them]

[Hailey steals the pizzas, picks them up and throws them at a teenager]

[Hailey spits at some adults]

[Hailey throws the purple birthday cake at her Chinese siblings]

Morgan: "Hailey, stop!!!"

[Hailey throws the orange flavored juice at Song and Wei]

[Hailey presents the box to Ai]

Hailey (sweetly and nastily): "Happy Birthday, Ai!"

[Hailey opens the box, and out come black cockroaches]

[Hailey defecates all over the tables]

[Cockroaches crawl all over the tables, the employees, the workers, the manager, the customers, the cake and food]

[Hailey takes a knife out of her pocket and stabs Ai and tries to kill Giuseppina by snapping her neck, causing them both to scream and cry]

[People scream]

Agatha Jr.: "I'm going to tell mom on Hailey!"

Agatha Jr.: "Mom, Hailey released my cockroaches and now they are everywhere!"

Ai: "" (Translation: "Mummy, blood...")

[a health inspector arrives]

Hailey (screaming at the top of her lungs): "GO AWAY OR I WILL SLICE YOUR NECK!"

Health Inspector: "Don't mind me, ma'am, I'm just checking this restaurant out."

[Health inspector sees black cockroaches]

Health inspector: "This establishment is being closed for the day."

Agatha Sr.: "My daughter done this not me, and the cockroaches are my daughter Aggie's, she collects bugs, no need to worry."

Agatha Jr.: "Please forgive me for this."

[Agatha Jr. gets the cockroaches in a box and puts them outside]

Health Inspector: "Oh, I get it now, your daughter has to be banned from Chuck E Cheese for life."

Agatha Sr.: "HAILEY MEGAN CLOUD! GET OVER HERE NOW!"

Hailey: "Just a moment....Hey Ai, Chuck E. and Kai-Lan were killed by Godzilla. It's true."

[Ai cries even louder]

Agatha Sr.: "HAILEY, I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSE!"

Hailey: "Enough? How about this?"

[Hailey runs to a fire alarm and pulls it, causing it to go off]

Aftermath
[Ai is crying and bawling all the way home]

Agatha Jr.: "There...there...Ai, please don't cry..."

Agatha Sr.: "AS FOR YOU, HAILEY MEGAN CLOUD! YOUR BEHAVIOR AT CHUCK E CHEESE WAS UNACCEPTABLE! YOU MADE AI CRY BY SAYING CHUCK E WAS KILLED BY GODZILLA ALONGSIDE KAI-LAN, YOU KARATE KICKED CHUCK E, AND YOU NEARLY KILLED GIUSEPPINA BY SNAPPING HER NECK AND ALMOST KILLED AI WITH A KNIFE, ON HER BIRTHDAY! AND AS FOR GIUSEPPINA, IT'S STILL GOOD SHE IS STILL FRIENDS WITH AI! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DONE THAT, SHE ENJOYED SPENDING TIME WITH HER FRIENDS AND YOU ATTACKED THEM, THEY MIGHT NOT WANT TO GO SEE HER EVER AGAIN!"

Hailey: "That was the point! I was trying to kill her!"

Annie: "Hailey was banned for life from Chuck E Cheese's after this."

Hailey: "SHUT UP AI! YOU TOO BIG TO BE CRYING LIKE THAT!!!"

Agatha Sr.: "Hailey! That is completely rude."

Ai: "我要回去妈妈！" (Translation: I WANNA GO BACK MOMMY!)

[Hailey starts shaking Ai]

Hailey: "THIS'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO SAY YOU WANNA GO BACK, OKAY?!? BECAUSE IT'S AGAINST THE LAW!!!!!"

Jiao: "天疱疮，留下她一个人！我知道你想回去爱，但您的可怕的阿姨败坏了党！" (Translation: Hailey, leave her alone! I know you want to go back Ai, but your horrid aunt ruined the party!)

Agatha Jr.: "Yeah, and she ruined your whole life!"

Morgan: "Awww, did we really have to leave, Mom?"

Agatha: "I'm sorry Morgan, but we had to."

[Jiao is trying to quiet Ai down]

Annie: "Ai just bawled her eyes out, she wanted to go back to Chuck E Cheese's."

Jiao: "" (Translation: Would you want to go to Chuck E Cheese's again when it reopens, when grandma puts Hailey in the Reflection Room when we get back then you will have hot chocolate and a nice warm bath?)

Morgan: "May I come, if I'm allowed?"

Agatha Sr.: "Yes, you can Morgan because you didn't misbehave."

[Jiao nods]

[Ai stops crying]

Ai: "是妈妈" (Translation: Yes mommy)

Annie: "Then Hailey hit Ai for getting all the attention."

Hailey: "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, MCDONALD'S IS HEALTHIER! I DIDN'T WANT TO TRY YUCKY PIZZAS ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!"

[Hailey smacks Ai unbelievably hard across her face]

[Ai cries]

Jiao: "HOW DARE YOU SLAP MY BABY, YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER!"

Agatha Sr.: "NOW HAILEY MEGAN! YOU ARE BANNED FROM GOING TO JANIE'S FOR 10 DAYS, STARTING NOW!"

Hailey: "I WANNNNNNNNT TOOOOOOOO GOOOO TOOOOOOOOOOOO JANNNNNNNNNNNIE'S!!!!!!!!!! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!!! I'LL PEE IN MY PANTS RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

[Hailey begins kicking the seat rapidly in front of her]

[Hailey pees in her pants and farts in the car]

Agatha Jr.: "Eeuuuuugh! Hailey. that's completely digusting!"

Hailey: "AGATHA JR., I CAN'T HELP IT!!!!!!!!"

[Hailey slaps Agatha Jr. in face]

Agatha Sr.: "Don't worry, Aggie, I'll handle Hailey. JUST YOU WAIT 'TIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME YOUNG LADY!"

At home
Agatha Sr. "Jiao, get your father on the phone and tell him to come home immediately and quickly, as soon as possible."

Jiao: "" (Translation: Why, is there an emergency?)

[An enraged Agatha Sr. physically drags Hailey in the Reflection Room]

[Hailey tries to hit her mom]

Agatha Sr.: "IF YOU EVER HIT ME AGAIN, YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN BIGGER TROUBLE WITH ME!!!!! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO GET OVER IT!!!!!!"

Hailey: "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!"

[Hailey hits her mom again]

[Jiao rushes to the phone and dials John's work number]

Jiao: "" (Translation: Hello, is John available?)

[Hailey tries to hit Agatha Sr., causing her to get very aggressive and slaps Hailey very hard across the face multiple times, leaving a red handprint]

Agatha Sr: "I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR BEHAVIOR! STAY IN FOR 18 MINUTES! YOUR TIME OF STAYING IN THE REFLECTION ROOM HAS BEEN TRIPLED! I AM DISGUSTED! YOU RUINED AI'S BIRTHDAY, YOU RUINED HER WHOLE LIFE, YOU RUINED HER CHANCE TO TRY PIZZA AND YOU RUINED HER CHANCE TO PLAY WITH HER FRIENDS AND FANG, THEY MIGHT NEVER WANT TO GO NEAR HER EVER AGAIN! THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU ARE EVER GOING TO CHUCK E CHEESE, YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR 5 DAYS AND I AM REALLY DISGUSTED! HOW DARE YOU! YOU ARE BANNED FROM PLAYING WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS AFTER SCHOOL FOR 12 WHOLE DAYS, AND YOU ARE BANNED FROM PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND YOUR DOLLS FOR A WHOLE WEEK! NOW GO SIT IN THE CORNER! AND THE NEXT TIME WE GO TO CHUCK E CHEESE, YOU WILL BE STAYING WITH ME AND YOU WILL NEVER EVER SEE YOUR FRIENDS EVER AGAIN! KEEP THIS UP AND YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO BED FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!!! YOU MAKE ME WISH I NEVER HAD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW GET IN THAT CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Agatha Sr. forces Hailey on a chair which faces the corner, leaves her in the Reflection Room and slams the door]

Hailey: (gets angry again) "GOOD! I'M GLAD, I NEVER LIKED BEING IN THIS SHITHOLE OF A FAMILY ANYWAY!"

[Hailey begins screaming, crying and bawling, smashing the furniture, trashing the Reflection Room making a complete mess and peeing and defecating in the middle of the floor]

[Hailey smashes Agatha Sr.'s favorite vase and statues]

[Agatha Sr. loses it even more]

Agatha Sr.: "SHUT UP, YOU VERY BAD GIRL!"

Hailey: "YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU VERY MEAN OLD BITCH! I HATE YOU AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!"

[Agatha Sr. loses her temper even more and bursts into the Reflection Room with a hairbrush]

Agatha Sr.: "JUST SHUT UP!"

Hailey: "NO! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU VERY STUPID, DISGUSTING, UGLY, FAT BITCH!"

[As Agatha Sr. tries to drag Hailey to the chair for a spanking, Hailey spits in Agatha Sr.'s face and repeatedly slaps her incredibly hard across her face multiple times]

Agatha Sr.: "YOU ARE REALLY PUSHING IT WITH ME!"

[Agatha Sr. slaps Hailey's face even harder multiple times]

Agatha Sr.: "NO!!! YOU DON'T SPIT IN MY FACE OR SLAP MY FACE HARD MUTLIPLE TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Annie: "Agatha Sr. slapped Hailey just as hard as Hailey slapped her."

[Hailey escapes from the front door and runs away to Janie's house]

Annie: "I'd like you to calmly tell that little girl of yours to return to the house, otherwise she will lose her TV privileges for a week."

Agatha Sr.: "Hailey Megan Cloud, come back or you'll lose your TV privileges for week."

[Hailey runs over to Agatha and hits her again, pushes her on to the sidewalk and runs off to Janie's house]

Agatha Sr.: "Now you lost your TV privileges."

Hailey: "TRY TO STOP ME, AND I WILL KILL YOU!"

[Agatha Sr. is extremely livid]

[Hailey kicks Agatha Sr. in the private parts]

[Hailey grabs a baseball bat and hits Agatha Sr. in the legs, back, face and head]

Hailey: "My friends say you're a bitch! You're a horrible person to take away my fun!"

[Hailey hits Annie across her face with a baseball bat]

[Agatha Sr. returns Hailey home as soon as John arrives home]

Hailey: "I will slice your fucking neck! Chinese people are all scabs!"

Agatha Jr.: "Don't you dare call us scabs!"

Hailey: "WELL, YOU ARE TOO, AGATHA JR.!!! NOW SHUT UP, YOU 19-YEAR OLD BITCH!!!!

Agatha Sr.: "John! (collapses in tears) Oh John, you will not believe what Hailey has done. She threw an enormous tantrum and peed in her pants because she wanted to go to McDonald's and not Chuck E Cheese and she also wanted My Little Pony as a theme for Ai's party but not Ni-Hao, Kai-Lan. She urinated, defecated and farted in the tables, ran around the place naked, peed on the Chuck E Cheese employees and manager, karate-kicked the Chuck E Cheese employees and threatened to behead them, threw the purple birthday cake at her Chinese siblings, threw the orange juice at Song and Wei and when she gave Ai her present, the black cockroaches came out and crawled over everywhere while the twins where trying to stop them and then Hailey took a dump all over the tables, nearly killed Ai with a knife, nearly killed Giuseppina by snapping her neck, and screamed at the health inspector to go away, threatening to slice his neck. However, we managed to solve everything. Then, Hailey told Ai that Chuck E and Kai-Lan were killed by Godzilla, making Ai cry. Soon after, she pulled the fire alarm. When we left, Hailey said shut up, which was totally rude. When I put her in the Reflection Room, she continued to hit me, so I snapped a bit and slapped her across the face real hard multiple times and threatened to send her to bed early with no dinner. After I left Hailey in the Reflection Room, she smashed the furniture, trashed the Reflection Room, peed and took a dump in the middle of the floor and smashed my favorite vase and some statues. When I tried to spank her with a hairbrush, she spat in my face and slapped me really hard many times and slapped her even harder multiple times and after that, she escaped from the front door and ran to Janie's house with no clothes on. And when I tried to stop her, she slapped me again and pushed me on to the sidewalk and ran off to Janie's house still naked and when I chased her, she kicked me in to private parts and bashed my legs, my back, my face and my head with a baseball bat and she hit Annie across her face with a baseball bat."

[John's anger explodes at Hailey]

John: "HAILEY MEGAN CLOUD! I AM VERY ANGRY BECAUSE YOU RUINED AI'S BIRTHDAY AND YOU RUINED HER ENTIRE LIFE! SHE'S ONLY LITTLE! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, YOU'VE TRASHED THE REFLECTION ROOM, YOU ARE BEING PUNISHED AND WE ARE EXTENDING YOUR GROUNDING TIME TO 10 DAYS, SO NO COMIC BOOK READING TONIGHT! YOU ARE BANNED FROM WATCHING TV FOR 2 WEEKS, YOUR VIDEO GAMES AND ALL YOUR DOLLS WILL BE GONE FOR 2 WEEKS, YOU WILL NEVER SEE ALL YOUR FRIENDS AFTER SCHOOL FOR 14 DAYS, WE ARE ALSO TAKING AWAY MY LITTLE PONY FOREVER, YOU WILL NEVER PLAY OUTSIDE FOR AS LONG AS YOU SHALL LIVE, YOU WILL BE FORCED TO EAT ANY OF THE PIZZAS AND ALL OF THE VEGETARIAN FOODS WHICH WE ARE HAVING, AND IN ADDITION TO THAT, YOU LOST YOUR BIKE FOREVER BECAUSE WE'RE SELLING YOUR BIKE AND MY LITTLE PONY ON EBAY! KEEP THIS UP, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE SOLD ON EBAY AND I WILL SEND YOU TO THE MOST STRICTEST CARE FACILITY I COULD FIND!"

Hailey: "Are you done?"

John: "GET TO BED RIGHT NOW!"

Hailey: "NO! AND YOU'RE NOT SELLING MY LITTLE PONY AND MY BIKE AND EVERYTHING ON EBAY!!!!!!"

[Hailey snatches Jiao, Song, Agatha Jr., Agatha Sr. and John's cell phones, runs to the bathroom and flushes them down the toilet but they manage to get them]

John: "Oh, no! Not my cell phone..."

Agatha Jr.: "Don't worry, we have a 3 year warranty, so broke, they will fix ours in no time."

[Hailey goes straight to bed]

[Hailey turns on Home Alone 2: Lost in New York on VHS]

[Hailey watches Kevin McCallister screaming at the pigeon lady at full blast]

Agatha Sr.: "What is going on up there?"

[Agatha Sr. and John come into Hailey's bedroom]

Hailey: [turns off the TV] Oh, nothing.

Agatha Sr.: "Were you watching Home Alone 2?!"

[Hailey nods her head as "Yes"]

Agatha Sr.: "WHY?!?!?"

Hailey: "BECAUSE CHUCK E MADE ME WATCH THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Agatha Sr.: "HEY, KEVIN MCCALLISTER WAS JUST ACTING, AND YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT, ALRIGHT?! IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOUR RAGING FITS NOW! NOW GO TO BED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hailey: "SO DO YOU, YOU F(bleep)ING B(bleep)H!!!"

John: "Alright, that's it. YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO BED RIGHT NOW, MISSY!"

[John locks Hailey in her room with a locker]

[Hailey is crying and bawling very loud in bed]

John: "HEY, I'VE HEARD THAT, PLEASE, CHILL OUT, LITTLE GIRL!!!"

Hailey: "YOU'RE NOT SELLING EVERYTHING ON EBAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!"

John: "SHUT UP!!!"

Hailey: "LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO GO AND SEE JANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

John: "NO!!!!!!! CLOSE YOUR EYES AND GO TO SLEEP!"

Hailey: "IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT, I WILL FUCKING TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF!"

John: "SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP! I'M NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN!"

[The doorbell rings]

Mommy and Me
[Ai, Jane, Morgan and Hailey are making some sculptures out of clay]

[Ai is making a dragon]

[Morgan is making a rabbit]

Morgan: "Ahhh...rabbits."

[Hailey is making a pony]

[Jane is making a sheep]

Hailey: "MINE IS BETTER!"

Agatha Sr.: "Oh, Ai. I love your dragon. It is very nice, Morgan, I love your rabbit too."

[Hailey smashes Morgan's rabbit and smashes Ai's dragon]

Morgan: "My rabbit!"

Agatha Sr.: You are going in the Reflection Room young lady!!!"

Annie: "What happened?"

Agatha Sr.: "Look at what Hailey just did."

Annie: "Come on, Hailey."

Hailey: "No!"

[Hailey bites and scratches Annie]

[Agatha Sr. and Annie physically drag Hailey straight to the Reflection Room]

[Annie puts Hailey on a chair in the corner]

[Hailey hits Annie]

[Hailey hits Agatha Sr., causing her lip to bleed]

Hailey: "I hate this family!"

[Hailey starts throwing books at Agatha Sr.]

[Hailey picks up the chair and is about to throw it at Agatha Sr.]

Agatha Sr.: "Don't you dare!"

Reward Chart
Annie: "Today, I introduced the Star Reward Chart."

Annie: "This is our Star Reward Chart."

Agatha Sr.: "The Star Reward Chart is pretty amazing for the family."

Morgan: "What is this for?"

Annie: "Your rewards and consequences."

Vandal Disposal
[Hailey is on Agatha Sr.'s Facebook page, typing in an entry]

[Hailey types in, "I love to take away Hailey's fun, I am a poo-poo head. I hate Hailey and I hate Annie too!" And presses enter]

[Hailey changes Agatha Sr.'s birthdate to 1768]

Agatha Sr.: "What are you doing?! Ugh, not again!"

[Agatha Sr. looks at her vandalized page]

[Annie moves Hailey away from the computer]

[Agatha Sr. deletes the entry]

Annie: "That's better, Agatha, that's better. And as for you, Hailey, you bought yourself a trip to the Reflection Room since you behaved unacceptably."

Agatha Sr.: "I told you many times to leave my Facebook account alone."

John: "What happened?"

Agatha Sr.: "She vandalized my Facebook page!"

White Sheets Technique
Annie: "Today, I am going to introduce the White Sheets. Whenever Hailey sees the white sheet, it means not touchable. No touch, no use, and no go."

Agatha Sr.: "That's a good idea."

Hailey: "Baozhai is a big fat smelly toad! By the way, we were a happier family before the mongoloids came into the picture."

Baozhai: (gasps) "What did you say?"

Hailey: "I SAID BAOZHAI IS A BIG F(bleep)ING FAT SMELLY TOAD!!!"

Mulan: "How dare you say that?! We are the family!"

Baozhai: "Come on Hailey, let's go to the reflection room."

Hailey: "NO!"

Baozhai: "Yes you have to."

[Baozhai sends Hailey to the Reflection Room]

Hailey: "I hate you and I wish you were dead!"

Hailey's friends at School
(Hailey arrives at Last Chance Academy to meet Janie and the other girls, Amy, Greta, Mia, Josie, Kamryn, Michelle, Wendy, and Frieda)

Hailey: "Today's order of business, we eliminate all of the Chinese dorks and kill them all! We put stupid Chuck E Cheese out of business for good! Who is with me?"

Hailey's friends: "I am!"

Hailey: "We will nuke China and all Asian countries!"

Hailey's friends: "Yeah!"

Frieda: "We will blow up all chuck e cheese restaurant chain restaurants because their crappy pizza taste like cardboard! No more Suck E Cheese!"

Same Page
[John arrives home]

John: "I'm home!"

Thought Box
[Hailey writes some things on paper]

Hailey: "Mummy...is...a...big...fat...meanie,"

[Hailey write something on a piece of paper]

Hailey: "I...hate...mommy...and...Ai...is...ugly and a crybaby."

[Hailey draws Agatha Sr. looking fat and pudgy]

[Hailey draws a picture of a witch turning Agatha Sr. into a frog]

Hailey: (writing) "I hate daddy, too..."

[Hailey shoves the pieces of paper into the Thought Box]

Hailey: (scribbling on a scrap of paper) "Morgan stinks, and Annie is stupid!"

Annie: "When we opened the thought box...we were appalled to find what was in store."

Song: "” (Translation: What is this? Hailey, did you write this?)

Hailey: "YES I DID YOU CHINESE C(bleep)!"

Song: "” (Translation: Hailey! I am taking you to the Reflection Room right now!)

[Song sends Hailey to the Reflection Room]

Hailey: "My friends think you are a c(bleep)t, and so do I."

Song: "” (Translation: In six minutes, I'd like for you to say you're sorry to the family)

Hailey: "That's the point of the Thought Box, though!"

Morgan and Hailey vs. The Babysitter
Annie: "The parents were going out for dinner, Baozhai was at her job as a vet, Song and Jiao were going out shopping, leaving the kids with a young babysitter named Clarine Dumais."

[Clarine writes the information down in her babysitting notebook]

Clarine: "Who wants to play a game?"

Morgan: "No thanks, I got school tomorrow."

Clarine: "Okay Morgan. Hailey, would you like to play a game?"

Hailey: "I don't think so."

[Clarine views the family routine board and the schedule]

Clarine: "Wash up. Dinner is at 6:30 pm, and then after that, we can play a nice board game of your choice."

Hailey: "If it involves stupid Chinese people, then I'm not playing. I hate Chinese people because they are mongoloids!"

Mei: "" (Translation: Listen to music while play Yokai Watch, upstairs)

Clarine: "Morgan, what's Yokai Watch?"

Morgan: "It's a game about befriending Japanese monsters, Mei loves it, mom told me when she was little, all she talked about was Yokai Watch, if you mentioned something she hated like some of the Anti-Japanese war film, she groaned."

Clarine: "Oh."

Mei: ”” (Translation: I....like....it...)

DVD meeting
Annie: "Welcome to the DVD Meeting where we show the way Morgan and Hailey act."

John: "So, has Morgan been bad?"

Annie: "She barely misbehaves because of Hailey."

Agatha, Sr.: "Are we doing this?"

Annie: "Yep."

[Annie plays the CD]

Hailey turns over a new leaf
Annie: "Hailey was an amok runner so I made Hailey write an apology letter to her family as soon as she was ready. Had she not done it, I would be giving up."

[Hailey is seen writing apology letters to her family]

Hailey: "Dear family, I am sorry for the bad things I have done. I promise not to torture you guys. Love, Hailey."

20 minutes later

Hailey: "Guys, I apologize for what I did. I promise I will never do it again."

Agatha Sr.: "We accept your apology, Hailey."

Hailey: "Oh boy, oh boy!"

Agatha Sr.: "Now Hailey Megan Cloud, as a reward for your empathy and apology, you are now officially ungrounded."

Hailey: "What does that mean?"

Agatha Sr.: "That means... Your punishment is over."

Hailey: (jumping up and down) "Yay! What treat will I get?"

Agatha Sr.: "Since you admitted you were sorry for what you did, your toys will be returned."

Hailey: "Yay! My toys are back!"

Agatha Sr.: "And would you like to go to McDonalds today?"

Hailey: "YES! It's about time we went!"

[Agatha Sr. and Hailey go to McDonald's]