Simpson Family/Transcript

Before the Revolving Line of Credits
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Lester: "Shut up, you stupid (bleep)!"

Announcer: "Jo meets the Simpson Family."

Submission Reel
Jo: "Here I am in Springfield, Missouri, ready to help another family. Let's take a look, shall we?"

???: "Hi, we're the Simpson Family. I'm Barbara."

???: "And I'm Max or M.A.X.... whatever."

Barbara: "We have Lester who is 10, Eliza who is 8, and Maybel who is 1. Lester is our main problem, for he has been diagnosed with ADHD. He pulls various sorts of pranks, has little or no respect for authority, swears, has an antagonistic relationship with his sister Eliza..."

[Lester pushes and hits Eliza]

Eliza: "Lester, stop it."

[Lester bites Eliza]

Eliza: "MO-OOO-OOM!"

Barbara: "Maybel mimics violent acts she sees on TV programs."

[Maybel mimics a violent act she sees on Tom and Jerry by using a knife to mimic Tom's act to kill Jerry with an axe]

Barbara: "Maybel, no! We do not do that! That is not nice! Stop it!"

Max: "I work at a Nuclear Power Plant, and quitting time's not until 5:00pm."

Barbara: "Supernanny, I'm begging you, please, please come help."

Jo: "I'm on my way."

Simpson Family Home
[Jo knocks on the door]

Barbara: "Hi."

Jo: "Hi, I'm Jo Frost. Nice to meet you."

Barbara: "Nice to meet you too, my name is Barbara, and this is Maybel."

Jo: "Hi, Maybel. How are you sweetie?"

[Barbara leads Jo upstairs and to the bedroom of a freckled girl with glasses and curly red hair, who is working on her homework]

Barbara: "This is my other daughter, Eliza. She just got home from an afterschool club."

Jo: "Hello, Eliza. I'm Jo-Jo. Nice to meet you."

Eliza: "Hi."

[Eliza stands up, but finds herself literaly super-glued to the chair, courtesy of one culprit--]

Eliza: "Grrr, LESTER!!!!"

Jo: "Lester?"

Eliza: "Yes, he's my brother. He does that a lot."

[We hear laughter coming from a spiky blonde-haired boy]

Lester: "Got you, Eliza! You shoud've seen the look on your 4-eyed face!"

Observation Begins
[Eliza is in her room playing the Trombone]

[Lester drowns Eliza's trombone music with loud heavy metal music with explicit lyrics]

Eliza: "Lester, turn that (bleep) music off! I'm trying to practice! I have a school band concert next week!"

Lester: "No!"

Eliza: "MOM! LESTER WON'T TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC!"

[Barbara enters Eliza's room]

Barbara: "Lester, please turn down that music. Your sister's band concert at school is next week and you do not interrupt her while she is practicing."

Lester: "I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE (bleep)ING FACE!"

Eliza's after school Activities
Barbara: "My daughter has afterschool activities, such as the band after school each day, Chess Club on Mondays and Wednesdays, Pony Club on Tuesdays, Science Club on Fridays, and Book Club on Thursdays."

Jo: "I mean, why would she choose to join clubs to go to everyday after school when she has a school band to go to every day?"

Jo: "Why do you not want to go home to your family, Eliza?"

Eliza: "Everyday, when I come home, my brother tortures me. He makes my life a living nightmare. I thought that staying after school for club activities would make me feel safer from him."

Parent Meeting
Jo: "We're here because I want to talk to you about your children. Your youngest, Maybel, imitates violent acts on Tom and Jerry. It's disgusting!"

Jo: "Let's talk about Lester. He tortures his sister, Eliza, and he constantly makes her life a living nightmare. As a result, Eliza would rather stay after school for club activities."

House Rules
Jo: "Today, I'm here to introduce some house rules. Number one, no swearing. number two, no fighting..."

Naughty Pit
Jo: "Today, I'm going to introduce the Naughty Pit; for whenever Maybel misbehaves, this is where she will go."

[Jo pulls out a clean colorful trash can-sized piece of furniture]

Jo: "You will also deposit 10..."

[Jo brings out 10 blue beanbags]

Jo: "...beanbags into the pit when you put her in there. But if she gets up before her time is up, I'd like you to discard two more beanbags for every move. Since she is only 1, she will stay there for one minute."

Barbara: "But what about Eliza and Lester? What if they behave unacceptably?"

Jo: "Since the Naughty Pit is only appropriate for Maybel, Eliza and Lester will be sent to the Reflection Room. I'm now going to show you the...Reflection Room."

[Jo leads Barbara, Lester, and Eliza into the dining room]

Jo: "The dining room will be the Reflection Room for Lester and Eliza."

Barbara: "This is the Reflection Room. Don't wanna be in here, right?"

Eliza: "No."

Jo: "And it wasn't long before Maybel kicked off."

[Barbara is in the laundry room washing clothes and linens]

Maybel: "I hate you, Mummy!"

Barbara: "Maybel, you do not speak to mommy that way. That is not acceptable; you talk to me that way again, and you're going to the Naughty Pit. Do you understand me?"

[Maybel smashes a peanut butter cup into Barbara's face]

Barbara: "Come on, let's go to the Naughty Pit."

Maybel: "NO!"

[Maybel tries to escape in her Princess Cozy Coupe with Glitter play car]

Barbara: "Come on, Maybel. Out of the play car."

[Barbara catches up to Maybel, takes her out of her play car and deposits her into the Naughty Pit]

Barbara: "You have been placed here in the Naughty Pit because you were behaving unacceptably towards mommy. Now you stay here until I come and get you."

[Maybel screams at the top of her lungs]

Jo: "Just ignore it, Barbara."

Reflection Room
Jo: "Barbara was getting into her car to pick Eliza up from an afterschool club, and Lester started to kick off."

[Barbara straps Maybel into her car seat]

Barbara: "Lester, let's go. We're going to go pick up your sister from Chess Club."

Lester: "(bleep) no! I ain't getting in! I just got home from school, you stupid (bleep)!"

Barbara: "Lester, no! Stop this behavior right now!"

Lester: "My behavior won't stop, (bleep)!"

Barbara: "So, what do I do?"

Jo: "I'd like you to give Lester a warning to stop the behavior. If he does not listen, I'd like you to send him to the Reflection Room for 10 minutes."

Barbara: "Okay."

Barbara: (to Lester) "Lester Malcom Simpson, this is your warning. Stop this your behavior. If you do not listen, I'm going to send you to the Reflection Room."

Lester: "I'M...STAYING...HERE!!!!!!"

Barbara: "I cannot trust you to be at home by yourself because you threw a wild party without permission and made a the house a mess which took a week to clean up. Let's go."

Lester: "NO!!"

Barbara: "What do I do, Jo? Put Lester in the Reflection Room before or after picking Eliza up from Chess Club?"

Jo: "Do it after. If he choses to be defiant, then there will be consequences for it."

Barbara: "We're still going; Eliza's waiting. If you choose to be defiant, then there will be consequences. Do you understand?"

Lester: "I...DON'T...WANT...TO!!!!"

[Lester starts kicking Barbara]

Barbara: "You do not kick your mother. If you do that again, I'm taking away your XBOX 360!"

[Barbara, Maybel, Jo, and Lester drive off to the school to pick up Eliza from Chess Club]

[Lester uses very bad words on the way to Chess Club]

Eliza: "See you later, Jenny!"

Barbara: "Come on, Eliza!"

[Eliza gets into the car with Jo, Lester, Maybel, and Barbara]

Barbara: "So, did you have a good time at Chess Club?"

Eliza: "Uh-huh."

Barbara: "Anything interesting, honey?"

Eliza: "Yep, we got to play chess."

Lester: "ARE...WE...GOING...HOME..YET??"

Jo: "Stop the car, Barbara. Stop the car."

[Barbara stops the car. Jo turns around and faces Lester. She looks mean.]

Jo: "Lester, you do not distract the driver like that. That is dangerous."

Jo: "As soon as we got home, Mom and I put Lester straight into the Reflection Room."

[Jo and Barbara place Lester into the Reflection Room]

Barbara: "Lester, you do not distract the driver, because it is dangerous and an accident could happen if the driver is not watching the road."

Jo: "And what else for? What about what happened before we picked Eliza up?"

Barbara: "You were being defiant and disrespectful to me and swearing at me before we left to pick your sister up from one of her afterschool activities. You will stay there for 10 minutes. Plus you lost your XBOX 360 for the whole day."

[Lester starts smacking Barbara's face]

Jo: "You do NOT under any circumstances hit your mother! That's naughty behavior!"

[Lester pulls Jo's hair]

Jo: "Let go of my hair! That is unacceptable and it's not a game!"

[Barbara and Jo leave Lester in the Reflection Room]

[Lester escape and spits on Jo's arm]

Barbara: "You've now lost your Gladiators DVD's!"

[Barbara confiscates Lester's Gladiators DVDs and puts Lester back in the Reflection Room and leaves him there]

Lester: "I HATE YOU MOM!!!!"

Barbara: "That's ALL your XBOX 360, Playstation 2, GameCube and PSP games gone! Consoles included!"

10 minutes later

Barbara: "I would like you to apologize to me, Lester."

Lester: "NO! Not until you give back my stuff!"

Barbara: "I want an apology."

Lester: "I'M...NOT...GIVING...YOU...ONE!!!"

Barbara: "Fine, you can stay here in this room."

[Lester kicks Barbara in the face]

[Jo raises her voice]

Jo: "Kicking your mother is unacceptable behavior, and I will not tolerate this anymore. You will stay here and think about your actions. When your mother comes back, she expects an apology."

Lester: "SHUT YOUR MOUTH, JO!!!"

[Lester punches Jo in the face]

[Jo raises her voice louder]

Jo: "YOU DO NOT USE THIS PHRASE BECAUSE IT IS INAPPROPRIATE!"

Lester: "I DON'T CARE (bleep)!"

[Lester kicks Jo in the face]

Jo: "For talking to me that way, you've now lost your iPod Nano."

Lester: "YOU ARE TAKING MY FUN AWAY! THIS IS (bleep)!"

Jo: "Now you have automatically lost your TV privileges."

[Max arrives home]

Max: "I'm home! Where's Lester?"

Lester: "Off with your head!"

[Eliza is hiding in her room, as she starts her homework]

[Lester walks out of the Reflection Room and knocks the television over]

Max: "LESTER MALCOLM SIMPSON!"

Lester: "SHUT UP!"

Jo: "Lester's tantrum was epic. It held on for another 3 hours."

Lester: "YOU ALWAYS TAKE MY FUN AWAY!"

Barbara: "Lester, just stop it."

Lester: "NO! I HATE YOU, YOU VERY BIG TUBBY FAT LAZY OVERWEIGHT (bleep)Y MEANIE! I WISH YOU WERE (bleep)ING DEAD, YOU (bleep)ING (bleep)!"

[Barbara loses it]

Barbara: "I'm so sorry, Jo, but I can't deal with this (bleep)!"

[Barbara runs away in tears]

[Jo looks mean and very angry and gets very angry with Lester]

Jo: "How dare you act this way towards your mother!"

Lester: (sneering) "I dare and I did."

[Jo doesn't seem even a little pleased and raises her voice so loud]

Jo: "Young man, this behavior is not a game! Go back to the Reflection Room and stay there!"

Lester: "(bleep) OFF, YOU WORTHLESS OLD HAG!"

Jo:

Lester:

Thought Box for Eliza
Jo: "Eliza stays after school for afterschool activities as a refuge from her brother, who torments her at home, and makes her life at home a living nightmare, so today I introduced the thought box."

Jo: "Eliza, it's me, Jo-Jo. Mind if I come in?"

Eliza: "Not at all."

[Jo steps into Eliza's room]

Jo: "I'd like to introduce to you the thought box, is that okay? Here, you can write down your own thoughts and ideas and put it in this box so that your mom and dad will know what's going on in your mind? Would you like that?"

Eliza's 9th Birthday
Jo: "The next day was Eliza's birthday, and she was having a campout slumber party in her backyard with all of her friends from school. However, little did she suspect was that her celebration was going to end in disaster."

Eliza: "Diane, Rosa, Carol, Debbie, Linda, Zoey, Isabella, and Amelia, I want to thank you all for coming to my birthday party."

[On the refreshments table, there are tofu dogs, mini veggie burgers, a birthday cake, a tray of fruits and vegetables, Tang, roasted potatoes, S'mores, cookies, baby carrots with hummus, cheese and crackers with grapes]

Barbara: "Are you girls having fun?"

Eliza: "Yes, mom."

Debbie: "Where's Jenny, Eliza?"

Eliza: "Dad was cooking outside on a grill with tofu dogs and veggie burgers, and we were all looking at the stars with the telescope mom gave me for Christmas."

Eliza: "We're gonna see the stars tonight."

Jo: "At first, everything started out just fine for a while."

[Eliza and her friends are nestled in their sleeping bags, sleeping in Eliza's tent]

Barbara: "Goodnight, girls. Goodnight Eliza, happy birthday, sweetie."

Jo: "And then Lester ruined everything..."

[Lester, dressed in a Jason Voorhees costume, sneaks into their tent]

[Eliza and the other girls scream in horror]

Diane/Debbie: "JASON VOORHEES!"

Linda/Zoey/Carol/Isabella: "Aaah! Run for it!"

Amelia/Rosa: "HELP!"

Eliza: "Please don't hurt me, Mr. Voorhees!"

[The girls scream in terror from the tent]

Girls: "Aah! Help us! Jason Voorhees!!!"

Max: "Girls...shut up and go to sleep! I have work in the morning!"

Barbara: "Lester Malcom Simpson! Get over here!"

[cut to: Barbara chiding her son]

Barbara: "I do not find that funny that you think it's okay to scare your sister and her friends like that, mister. Now get in the house."