Spotlow-Garbiel Family Thanksgiving

Afternoon
[Megan, Bob, Bridget, Oscar and Jason watch Happy Gilmore with Adam Sandler]

Frank: "Dad, Aunt Maya won't let me watch a movie."

David: "What is it?"

Frank: "Happy Gilmore."

David: "NO!"

Frank: "Why can't I? It's not even rated R."

David: "If Aunt Maya says no, she means no."

Frank: (angrily) "(bleep) OFF! I WILL WATCH IT!"

David: "Get back here, Francis Malcolm! Don't force me to wash that filthy mouth out with soap."

Dinner
Frank: "So, what's for dinner?"

Aunt Mila: Kielbasa,                        (Translated to:)

Frank: "SPEAK ENGLISH!"

David: "That is Polish, Frank."

[We see two-alarm deep-fried turkey, cranberry compote, cornbread dressing, squash casserole, wild rice with mushrooms, warm turnip green dip, tofurkey, classic sweet potato casserole, classic Parmesan scalloped potatoes and sweet potato-pecan cupcakes with cream cheese frosting on the table]

[The family is having Thanksgiving dinner out in the patio]

Bridget: "A lovely tofurkey just for me. Thank you, Aunty Mila." (She kisses Aunt Mila on the cheek)

[Bridget is happily having tofurkey]

[Frank glares at Bridget eating her tofurkey]

David: "Frank, eat your dinner."

Frank: "But I can't stand Bridget eating what those hacks at PETA tell her to eat."

David: "Bridget did say 'thank you' to her aunt. We don't judge other people on their beliefs and what they eat. She is a person, too."

Frank: “She judges others! She thinks Pokémon is animal abuse!”

Nicolette: "Frank, listen to your father and eat your food, please."

Frank: "Ugh!" (reluctantly begins eating his dinner)

David: "Thank you."

[The family resumes eating until Frank grabs Bridget's face once she finishes eating her tofurkey]

Nicolette: "Frank! Let go!"

Jason: F**K YOU FRANK!!!!!!

Frank: "She deserves it, though. She's just a blind sheep who agrees with everything PETA says."

David: "Again, we don't judge people on their beliefs, and you need to respect beliefs no matter if they go against yours."

[Frank squeezes Bridget's face harder, making her cry]

Nicolette: "Continue this behavior and you won't get any dessert."

[Frank pushes Bridget off her seat, making her cry louder]

David: "That does it, no dessert for you, Francis Malcolm Spotlow-Garbiel. Go in the house and stand in a corner and think about what you did."

Frank: "It's her fault that she decided to join PETA and think Pokémon is evil!"

Bridget: SHUT UP FRANK!!!!!!!!!!!

Jason: F**K OFF FRANCIS SPOTLOW GARBRIEL

Nicolette: "JASON EILLOT SPOTLOW GARBRIEL & BRIDGET EMILY SPOTLOW GARBRIEL! NO DESSERT FOR YOU BOTH GO TO YOUR ROOMS NOW!"

[Frank, Jason & Bridget begrudgingly go inside and stand in a corner]

Aftermath
David: "I'm sure things will be better next year, Maya."