Sevick Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

[Nick hits Freddie in the nose causing it to bleed]

[Luke and Philip are playing at the pool]

Brittany (crying): "OW! THAT HURT!"

Announcer: "Jo meets the Sevick Family. The family run ragged by their son Adam who has ADHD."

[Adam tries to hit Kevin's head]

[Adam tries to hit a pool noodle at Greg]

Greg: "Stop it, Adam!"

Announcer: "The kids beat each other silly and act odd."

Mia: "I hate this meal!"

Oscar: "I don't want it!"

[Eugene kicks Asa]

[Asa tries to do the middle finger]

Announcer: "And do a risk of injury."

[Eugene is about to cut Oscar's hair with scissors]

[Hayleigh gets on the stairs the wrong way and hits Nick]

[Nick hits back]

[Lauren gets on the stairs the wrong way and hits Leah]

[David wrestles Greg]

David: "Fuck you!"

Announcer: "Mom and Dad are trying to keep the kids under control."

[Adam throws a skeleton mask at Russell]

Freddie: "Fuck you, Nick!"

Sasha: "Listen up, ice cream pop!"

[Asa does a gesture to Mia and throws her Elmo plush on the ground]

[Mia cries]

[Luke is doing homework]

[Hayleigh is trying to kick Adam]

Adam: "MOMMY!"

Announcer: "Can Mom and Dad improve Adam's ADHD?"

[Adam screams his ABCs]

[Eugene hits him]

Announcer: "But he is not the worst behaved, the non identical twins, an 11 year old boy, 1 set of triplets and a 5 year old are."

Eugene: "Oh girl! You're such a fucking shit talker!"

[David, Hayleigh, Lexi and Eugene play Call of Duty: Black Ops 4]

Russell: "TASTE THE POWER OF THIS KILLER MACHETE, FATFACE!"

[Russell chases Freddie with a machete]

Kevin: "It's a nightmare!"

Announcer: "Will Jo make the parents shape up?"

Carmen: "I know Jo, but this is too hard to control them."

Jo: "But Adam has ADHD. I see he tries to copy everyone's behaviors."

Announcer: "Or will it be too late and will someone get hurt?"

[Eugene pulls Sasha's leg]

[The triplets push a cow at a local farm]

[Freddie cuts one part of his hair with scissors]

[Eugene throws a football at Asa's face]

Freddie: "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Submission Reel
Jo: "Let's see my last family with a 4-year-old who has ADHD before I retire."

???: "Hello. I am Carmen and this is Kevin. We are the Sevick family. We have Luke who is 17, Philip who is 16, Greg who is 15, Asa who is 14, Brittany who is 13, Leah who is 12, non-identical twins Hayleigh and Lauren who are 11 also, David who is 11, Oscar who is 10, Nick who is 9, fraternal triplets, Russell, Rachel and Lexi who are all 8, Freddie who is 7, Sasha who is 6, Eugene who is 5, Adam who is 4 and Mia who is 3."

Kevin: "The kids under 16 are hard for us to control with their bad behavior."

[Adam throws a firetruck toy right through Greg's balls]

Greg: "Stop it, Adam!"

[Greg gets the firetruck toy and throws back at Adam's face]

[David wears a homemade alien costume outside and chases Rachel]

Rachel: "MOM! An alien's here to get me!"

[Nick wrestles Asa]

Carmen: "Philip and Luke are 100% well-behaved."

Nick: "GO BITE YOUR OWN PENIS!"

[Asa records Oscar getting hurt on his skateboard]

Oscar: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Carmen: "Adam has ADHD and we tried over 60 medications to help him, but it does not work out like always."

[Adam is eating a carrot]

Carmen: "The kids spit like camels."

[Hayleigh starts spitting on Mia]

[Mia spits back]

Kevin: "They draw bad stuff, like when David drew a naked men and women and cocaine in Luke's notebook."

[Oscar draws 10 minions with dicks on David's notebook]

Greg: "Woof! Woof! WOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!"

Carmen: "Just stop it!"

[Adam drives Kevin's car]

[Rachel tries to push Oscar to the stairs but misses and Oscar grabs the railing safely]

[Freddie shoplifts a Bakugan DVD and knocks over the toys in the shop]

Sasha: "I'm a pick the world up and I'm a drop it on your fucking head!"

[Oscar kicks Mia's Dora the Explorer plush on the fire]

Carmen: "They do act aggressive to us like a ninja and they rule the roost by peeing, defecating and breaking the furniture."

Oscar: "That toy is stupid!!!"

[Nick drives Carmen's car]

[Mia is dressed up as Krampus and starts chasing Eugene while roaring]

[Mia hits Eugene]

(Eugene hits back)

[David plays with a chainsaw]

Carmen: "David, put the chainsaw down!"

[Greg hacks Kevin's computer]

[Leah throws a dodgeball at Eugene]

[Eugene starts chasing Leah outside and goes on the street]

[The kids run around the China shop while the oldest kids knock over antiques and the younger ones knock the shelves with dangerous objects]

[David, the triplets, the non-identical twins, and Eugene work together pushing Luke off the hammock]

[Oscar jumps off the roof while wearing a Superman costume while screaming]

[The triplets throw water balloons at all of their siblings which cause the kids under 16 to get in the fight]

[Mia throws the TV remote and then throws Carmen's cosmetic kit out of the window]

[Freddie screams]

Carmen: "Supernanny, we need you now!"

Sevick Family Home
[Jo knocks at a door]

Jo: "Hi, nice to meet you."

Carmen: "Nice to meet you also, my name is Carmen."

Jo: "Where's your husband?"

Carmen: "He's just coming home from work."

Jo: "Oh....What's his occupation?"

Carmen: "He's a computer programmer."

Jo: "Hmm, interesting."

Kevin: (returning home) "Hello, Jo."

Jo: "Hi, Kevin."

Observation Begins
[Eugene moons the neighbors]

Carmen: "Eugene, stop mooning the neighbors."

Eugene: "I CAN MOON THEM IF I WANT TO!"

[Hayleigh hits the neighbors in the head with a golf club]

Carmen: "HAYLEIGH! Do not hit the neighbors! You could've seriously hurt them!"

Hayleigh: "Like I give a fuck!"

[David and Lauren use a booby trap to catch one of the neighbors and high-five each other]

David: "We got his ass!"

Lauren: "We sure did!"

[The triplets work together pushing one of the neighbors to their backyard pool and dunk him hard underwater]

'''Jo: I couldn't believe that that kids were terrorizing the neighbors. That behavior has got to stop!'''

[The kids return home, where Hayleigh and Lauren go on the TV and watch the movie "Richie Rich"]

Eugene: Me and David want to watch Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.

David: I agree! That movie is so much better than Richie Rich!

Eugene: More like Fucky Fuck!

Hayleigh: Too bad losers!

Lauren: We're watching Richie Rich and that's final!

[Eugene screams and pushes Lauren and Hayleigh down the chair, causing them to cry]

Carmen: What just happened?

Lauren: That fucking asshole Eugene pushed us!

Hayleigh: Yeah! And they're about to change the movie!

[David changes the movie to Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind]

David: You brats deserved it. We're watching Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind and that's final!

Carmen: You two can watch Richie Rich in my room.

Observation Continues
[Adam is crying, whilst the rest of the children are watching Rise of the Guardians]

Adam: FUCK THAT MOVIE!!! I WANT TO WATCH THE ADVENTURES OF ELMO IN GROUCHLAND!!!

Greg: That movie is for babies!

Asa: Fuck off, baby!

[Adam hits Greg and Asa]

Greg: OW!!! YOU HURT ME, YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!!!

Asa: YEAH!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?!?!

[Adam changes the movie to The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland]

Adam: You guys can eat your own asses instead, because I'm watching The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland!

Brittany: Hell no! Change it back now!

Adam: NEVER!!!

[Leah and Oscar beat up Adam]

Adam: (crying) I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

Leah: You deserve it!

Oscar: Do that shit again, and you will fucking regret being born!

Kevin: Leah and Oscar, you do not beat up your younger brother nor threaten him. And Adam, you can watch Elmo in a different room.

Jo: In the end, Kevin let the kids get away with bad behavior.

Pooltime
Carmen: "Freddie, get out of the pool."

Freddie: "NO!"

[Carmen gets him out]

Freddie: "FUCK OFF!"

[Freddie pees on the pool deck and comes back into the pool]

[The triplets, the non-identical twins, David and Eugene make big cannonballs into the pool naked]

Carmen: "Oh my goodness! You two put some clothes on before someone sees!"

David: "Nope!"

Eugene: "Yeah! It's better to swim naked, anyway!"

[The other kids except Freddie, the triplets, the non-identical twins, David, and Eugene go into the pool with their bathing suits on. Kevin also shows up in his regular clothes.]

[Eugene scoops up some poolwater with a glass cup, pours some into his mouth, and begins gargling]

Kevin: "Eugene, pool water is not for gargling. It's for swimming in."

[Lexi swims underwater and bites Nick's foot like a crocodile]

Nick: "MOM! A SHARK BIT ME IN THE FOOT!"

Lexi: "That was me, you fucking retard!"

Carmen: "Lexi, you do not bite people nor call them a retard!"

[Hayleigh hits Lauren in the head with a pool noodle, which leads the twins to fight each other with their respective pool noodles]

[Rachel gathers water in a bucket and soaks Adam with it]

[David splashes water at Asa]

[Asa splashes water back]

[Russell punches Brittany in the nose, making her cry]

[The non-identical twins, Eugene, the triplets, and David urinate and defecate in the pool]

Oscar: "That is just gross!"

Brittany: "Yuck!"

[The 7 amok runners laugh at what they did]

[Carmen steps in]

Carmen: (to the 7) "You 7, what you did was utterly disgusting and I don't appreciate it. It also isn't funny."

Kevin: (also stepping in) "All of you, get out of the pool. We're cleaning it and you're not allowed to go in until further notice."

[The kids sulk]

Carmen: "As for you David, Hayleigh, Lauren, Lexi, Russell, Rachel, and Eugene. Put your clothes back on this minute before a neighbor notices! I'm not gonna say it again!"

[The 7 do as they're told and redress themselves]

Carmen: "Thank you."

Dinnertime
Jo: "While pooltime was pretty bad, dinnertime could be compared to feeding time at the zoo."

Mia: "I fucking hate this meal!"

Oscar: "I don't want it. It's gross!"

[Leah slurps her soup loudly and begins gargling with it]

Kevin: "Leah, do not slurp your soup that loud!"

[Eugene throws a couple of Green Giant green beans at Leah]

Eugene: "SHUT YOUR BITCH ASS UP WITH YOUR SLURPING!!!"

Leah: "FUCK YOU, EUGENE!!! GO KILL YOURSELF!!!"

Carmen: "Leah and Eugene! We do not speak like that at the table!"

[Freddie throws a piece of chicken at Nick]

Nick: "OH, FUCK YOU!!!"

[Nick in return throws stuffing at Freddie's shirt]

Freddie: "NICE ONE, ASSHOLE!!!"

[Sasha tosses some broccoli at Asa]

[Asa does a gesture and throws his fork at Greg and Greg throws a spoon at Asa's face]

[Adam is eating a carrot, but spits it back out]

Adam: "Ew! Carrots are fucking yucky! And those clam casinos taste like shit that is stuck to a fat person's butthole, and they will never take a shower!"

[The situation segues into a food fight between the kids except Philip and Luke]

Luke: "Heavens to Betsy! What is happening?"

Brittany: We want to have McDonald's!

Greg: Yeah! They're serving the Travis Scott Burger and I want it!

Kevin: After this, you're not getting nothing!

Mia: WE HATE YOU!!! GO DIE IN A FIRE!!!

Carmen: Don't ever say that to us!

Eugene: WELL IT'S TRUE!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE FUCKING WORSE!!! YOU DON'T DO SHIT!!!

David: EXACTLY!!! WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU FUCKERS!!!

Carmen: The kids can be extremely brutal when it comes to name calling sometimes.

Parent Meeting
Jo: The kids here run amok. Philip and Luke are the only well-behaved ones here. Luke even told me that he feels depressed at times because of the behavior.

Introducing the Naughty Tuffet
Jo: I will introduce the Naughty Tuffet so the parents can gain more control.

Morning
Jo: "David, Nick, Asa and Adam started to kick off when David was playing Xbox."

[David plays Thrillville on Xbox]

David: Oh yeah!

Adam: "Shut up Xbox nerd!"

David: "Holy shiiiiiiiiit!"

[Asa runs to David and does a gesture and David hits him]

[Nick hits Asa]

Carmen: "Nick, sit at the chair!"

Nick: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

[Nick sits at the chair]

[Nick hits Freddie]

Jo: "Nick, you don't hit your brother. That is not acceptable whatsoever."

Nick: PISS OFF, YOU FAT BITCH!!!

Carmen: (to Freddie) "Freddie, are you alright?"

Freddie: (Coldly) I'm okay...

[Freddie then rushes to Nick and kicks him in the face]

Nick; OUCH!!! FUCK YOU, BASTARD!!!

Freddie: THAT'S WHAT YOUR BITCH ASS GETS!!!

Introducing the Reflection Room
Jo: I will be introducing the Reflection Room for discipline.

Jo: This is where you go when you misbehave.

Hayleigh: Kill yourself!

Lauren: Yeah! Go kill yourself!

Jo: This is your warning. Keep it up and you will go on the Reflection Room.

Hayleigh: Like you fucking would!

Lauren: Fuck yeah! I fucking dare you to take us there, you fucking fatass!

[Jo places the two in the Reflection Room]

Jo: I am placing you here because you continued to curse at me, even when I told you not to. Stay here for 11 minutes.

Hayleigh: Fuck that shit!

Lauren: WE'RE GOING OUTSIDE, AND YOU RETARDS BETTER NOT STOP US!!!

[Hayleigh and Lauren rush out of the house]

Jo: With the two running out, I knew I had to step in and catch them before something terrible happens!

[Jo is seen chasing the girls]

Jo: You two come back right this instant! It's extremely dangerous to run on the road!

Hayleigh: FUCK OFF, FATTY!!!

Lauren: IF YOU WANTED TO WORKOUT, WHY NOT DO IT AT THE GYM YOU GAY ASS PRICK?!?!

[The two split ways. Hayleigh goes to the park while Lauren goes to her friend Ava's house]

Ava: Lauren!

Lauren: Let me in! I'm hiding from some crazy fatass who wants to take me and Hayleigh to the Reflection Room.

Ava: So what do you want to do?

Lauren: You got any new movies?

Ava: Well we're gonna watch A Simple Wish soon.

Lauren: Cool! I wanna see it!

[Lauren then watches A Simple Wish with Ava's family. 30 minutes into the movie, however, Jo arrives with Carmen and Kevin]

Carmen: I cannot believe you dashed out of the house and fled to your friend's house!

Kevin: When we get home, you're going straight to the Reflection Room.

Lauren: OH, FUCK NO!!!

[Lauren attempts to escape, but Jo grabs her by the hand and they march back home]

Jo: Stay in the room and think about what you girls have done!

Going to Burger King
Jo: "The family decided to go to Burger King, but Hayleigh threw a tantrum."

Carmen: "Kids!"

[The kids walk in]

Carmen: "Today, we are going to Burger King, be on your best behavior."

Hayleigh: "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BURGER KING! IT'S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE!"

Carmen: "Don't worry, we'll order a veggie burger for you. Is that okay with you? It has no meat in it, love."

Hayleigh: "Okay then...."

Jo: "After that, she relaxed and settled down a little bit, but Lauren went crazy!"

[Lauren flips the chairs and tables]

[Lauren flips off other customers]

Kevin: LAUREN!!! What are you doing?!

Lauren: Fuck off! You are the worst!

[Lauren throws food at the windows]

Carmen: I think we're gonna take the food to-go...

Jo: After that disaster, Carmen took Lauren straight to the Reflection Room.

Carmen: You're staying here because you've misbehaved while in Burger King.

Lauren: GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE!!!

[Lauren runs outside, and Carmen chases her]

Lauren: You can't catch me, loser!

Carmen: Get back here! You will not be going outside!

[Lauren runs to Amanda's house]

Lauren: I'm hiding from my father. Let's go play on your PS3.

Amanda: Sure!

[15 minutes later...]

[Carmen busts in the door and chainsaws the PS3 and Madden NFL 11]

Carmen: You do not run away from home to go see Amanda. This is the second time you have done so! Now let's go!

Introducing the Naughty Pit
Mia: I hate carrots!

[Mia throws the carrots in the pool]

Kevin: How dare you throw the carrots into the pool! That's it!

[Kevin takes Mia straight to the Naughty Pit]

Kevin: You're here because you threw the carrots into the pool. Stay there for 3 minutes.

Mia: NO!!!

[Mia hacks into the speakers and begins to blast "Lotion" by Deftones]

Kevin: Mia, turn that off right now!

Mia: NEVER!!! YOU WILL BE FORCED TO LISTEN TO THIS UNTIL YOU GET RID OF THE FUCKING NAUGHTY PIT!!!

Toy Confiscation
Jo: "Today, I'm going to introduce the Toy Confiscation technique."

Meeting Macaulay Culkin
Jo: Later on in the day, I wanted to surprise Luke by having him meet one of his favorite movie actors.

Macaulay: Remember me from the first two Home alone movies as Kevin McCallister? Also from the movie, The Good Son as the villain, Henry Evans? I was good friends with late Michael Jackson. You should also see my movies, Uncle Buck and My Girl. Suddenly my movies, including, Getting even with dad, Richie Rich, The Pagemaster, and the Nutcracker started to flop when I got older in my early teen years because I wanted to retire from acting so bad and live a normal childhood.

Luke: "Macaulay?"

Macaulay Culkin: "Yes?"

Luke: "Do you have a child?"

Macaulay Culkin: "I do have a Child. His name is Dakota."

Family Time
Jo: For Family Time, mom was hosting a movie night.

Carmen: What movies do you want to watch?

David: I want to watch Follow That Bird!

Luke: How about we watch the 1993 movie "The Sandlot"?

Philip: I agree. That's a good movie.

Carmen: Okay. We will watch the Sandlot.

[The movie intro starts playing]

Jo: Things were going well, until chaos ensued.

David: FUCK THIS MOVIE!!!

Eugene: YEAH!!! WE WANNA WATCH CRADLE OF FEAR!!!

Kevin: Cut it out! We're not watching that movie because it is too inappropriate!

Lauren: TOO FUCKING BAD!!! PUT IT ON OR ELSE!!!

[Hayleigh knocks down the popcorn]

[Lauren pushes Mia off of her chair]

Mia: (Crying) FUCK YOU, LAUREN!!!

[Lauren and Hayleigh are immediately placed in the Reflection Room]

Jo: You two are in the Reflection Room because you knocked down the popcorn and pushed your little sister off of her chair.

Lauren: Does it look like we give a shit?

Hayleigh: BECAUSE WE FUCKING DON'T!!!

[Suddenly, the movie is changed to Santa Inc.]

Carmen: Who changed the movie?

David: WE DID!!!

Eugene: YEP!!! AND WE'RE NOT CHANGING IT BACK UNTIL YOU LET LAUREN AND HAYLEIGH OUT OF TIMEOUT!!!

Kevin: That's not happening anytime soon, because they were misbehaving and breaking the rules!

Sasha: WELL THEN FUCK YOU!!!

[Sasha blasts the TV with the show while Oscar hacks the speakers to play "Bubble Butt" by Major Lazer]

Jo: I was completely stunned by what's going on, and I knew I had to step in before things got even worse!

Jo: David, Eugene, Sasha, and Oscar! You all are going straight to timeout right now!

Mia
Mia: I HATE THE NAUGHTY PIT!!!

[Mia throws the Naughty Pit into the pool]

Adam
Adam: "I AM GOING TO HURT YOU ALL!"

[Adam beats Jo with his fist]

Russell, Rachel and Lexi
Jo: "It wasn't long until the triplets started taping Mia to the wall via duct tape."

[Russell tapes Mia's left arm to the wall]

[Rachel tapes Mia's right arm to the wall]

[Lexi tapes Mia's left leg to the wall]

[Russell tapes Mia's right leg to the wall]

[Lexi tapes Mia's belly to the wall]

[Rachel mutes Mia's mouth shut with duct tape]

Mia: "HMMPH! HMMPH HMMPH!" (Translates to: "MOMMY! PLEASE HELP!")

[Carmen runs to the room and tries to remove the tape]

Carmen: I cannot believe they used the strongest tape we have. It's so hard to remove it!

[Carmen eventually removes the duct tape from Mia's arms, legs, belly, and mouth]

Carmen: "Sweetie, what happened?"

Mia: (crying) "They taped me to the wall!"

Carmen: (to the triplets) "Guys, that was not nice at all. You must take 8 minutes for each of you in timeout."

Russell: "WE AIN'T GOING TO TIMEOUT!"

Lexi: PISS OFF!!!

Rachel: GO DIE IN A FIRE!!!

[Carmen drags the three to timeout]

Carmen: You're in timeout because you tied up Mia. You will stay here for 8 minutes.

[The three punch Carmen in the face and run outside]

[Carmen, Kevin, and Jo run pursuit of them]

[Carmen chases Russell]

Russell: Catch me if you can, loser!

Carmen: Get back here right now!

[Russell runs to Hades's house]

Russell: Hey, Hades! Let's go listen to some Eminem!

[Russell and Hades listen to Eminem's "The Eminem Show" album]

[We cut to Kevin chasing Lexi]

Lexi: You can't catch me, poo-poo!

Kevin: Do not call me that!

[Lexi runs to Perry's house]

Lexi: Hey, Perry! Let's go watch the DuckTales reboot!

[Lexi and Perry watch the DuckTales reboot]

[We cut to Jo chasing Rachel]

Rachel: Fuck off, JoJo!

Jo: Get back here and finish your time, you bitch!

[Rachel runs to JC's house]

Rachel: Hey, JC! Let's go play Minecraft!

[Rachel and JC play Minecraft]

Hayleigh, Lauren and David
Jo: "Later on, when the kids played kickball, Adam took the ball because he has ADHD, David, Hayleigh and Lauren started to kick off."

[Adam runs off with the ball into the street]

David: "NO! ADAM!"

[Hayleigh, Lauren and David chase him]

Hayleigh: "I WILL HIT YOU REALLY HARD!"

Lauren: "NOW DIE, ASSPIE!"

[The kids start hitting Adam]

Adam: "MOMMY!"

Carmen: "Hayleigh Denise, Lauren Heather, and David Paul Sevick, go to your room!"

[Adam starts crying]

[David, Hayleigh and Lauren take off their clothes and shoes and go in the pool naked]

[Carmen goes in the pool and angrily chases after them]

[Hayleigh picks up a plastic glass and throws water at Carmen]

[David pees in the pool]

Leah
Jo: "It wasn't long until Leah beat up Adam while watching Yu-Gi-Oh on his DVD."

Leah: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO TIMEOUT!!! HE WATCHED MY YU-GI-OH DVD!!!

Carmen: So? You tell me, not beat him up!

Going to Burger King (2nd time)
Hayleigh: "Burger King is a poultry and cow slaughterhouse! It harms these animals!"

Jo: "According to mom, Hayleigh is a almost member of PeTA Kids and refuses to eat meat."

Haleigh: I mean... Can I have a veggie burger instead, please?

Mommy and Me
Jo: For the Mommy and Me technique, the kids will be making clay sculptures.

[David made a clay sculpture of a cross]

[Mia made a clay sculpture of a computer]

[Lauren made a clay sculpture of a frog]

[Luke made a clay sculpture of a palm tree]

Jo: Everything was going well, but them Adam destroyed the clay sculptures.

[Adam uses a toy hammer to smash the clay sculptures]

Mia: (crying) My clay sculpture...

Kevin: What happened?

Greg: Adam smashed our clay sculptures!

Adam: They sucked tons of asses! They deserved to get smashed to bits!

At the cinema
Carmen: We will be watching The Tale of the Princess Kaguya. They're reairing it in theaters.

Mia: I want to watch the My Little Pony Movie!

Adam: Me and Eugene want to watch the 8 Mile movie!

Lauren: And me and Hayleigh want to watch the Lion King remake!

Kevin: No! We're watching The Tale of the Princess Kaguya and that's final!

[Mia, Adam, Eugene, Lauren, and Hayleigh all throw a temper tantrum]

Carmen: Knock it off!

[The family goes to the theater, and the movie intro starts]

[30 minutes into the film...]

Mia: I hate this movie! That's it!

[Mia dumps the drinks all over the floor]

[Adam and Eugene throw popcorn at the screen]

[Lauren and Hayleigh go on their phones and blast "Neolithic" by Nocturnus]

Kevin: You five stop! We're gonna get kicked out!

[The five ditch the theater and go sneak into the SAW movie]

Mia: This will be so much better than that crappy Kaguya movie!

Jo: Things were so bad, we had to leave the theaters, and we only watched 40 minutes of a 2 hour movie.

At the Zoo
Jo: "We went to the zoo to test how their kids behave in local areas."

Rachel: "Can we go on the carousel?"

[Eugene runs to the rhinoceros exhibit naked]

Kevin: "Eugene, where are you going and would you please put your clothes back on before people notice you?"

Eugene: "FUCK NO!!!"

[David runs to the children's petting zoo and cuts off a portion of a sheep's fleece with scissors]

[Mia defecates on the path and tosses the fecal matter she defecated at an elephant in its exhibit, but misses]

MIa: "Fuck! Gotta shit out some more and try again!"

Carmen: "Mia, no!"

Hayleigh: "The zookeepers are taking good care of those animals, making sure they are healthy and happy. Right, daddy?"

Kevin: "That's true, sweetie."

[Mia and Adam then pee and poop on the lions]

Carmen: Mia and Adam! Stop this right now!

Mia: "NEVER!!!"

Adam: "THOSE FUCKTARDS PISS AND SHIT ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!!! THEY DESERVE THIS SHIT!!!"

Hayleigh: "STOP!!! PLEASE!!! YOU'RE HURTING THEM!!!"

[Greg and Asa throw drinks and snacks at the giraffes]

Greg: "EAT THAT SHIT AND GET POISONED!!!"

Asa: "YEAH!!! GET SICK YOU FUCKING DEGENERATES!!!"

Trash Talk
Jo: For every time you swear, you will lose a mouth. You have 10 mouths. If you don't lose any, you will get a reward coupon.

Adam: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Jo: Adam, you have lost 10 mouths.

[Jo removes 10 mouths from Adam]

Adam: Awesome! Now I can say fuck whenever I fucking want to without any consequences!

Jo: Adam, that's not how it works. If you continue to curse like that, then you're going to timeout.

The triplets, David, Eugene, and the non identical twins' Epic Tantrum
Jo: "That night, the family went to a sit-down Posh restaurant for dinner."

Russell: "I HATE PORK!"

Carmen: "Russell, eat your food."

Lauren: "I am not going to eat my fucking vegetable curry!"

Kevin: "Eat it, Lauren."

Eugene: "THOSE CHICKEN STRIPS TASTE LIKE A MILLION PILES OF crap!"

[Eugene slams his plate to the floor, shattering it]

[The non-identical twins stab their respective forks in Adam's chest]

Adam: "MOMMY!"

Carmen: "Adam, sweetie. Are you OK, young man?"

[David hurls his plate like a frisbee and it hits a waiter in the hip, causing him to fall over]

Waiter: "That hurt!"

[The triplets work together pulling down the tablecloth on the table, causing all of the contents on it to fall over]

Carmen and Kevin: "Right! We are leaving right now, children!"

Leah: "Already?! But we didn't finish eating yet!"

Kevin: "Sweetheart, I am sorry to say this, but your horrid sisters and brothers ruined it."

[Cut to: the family gets in their van]

Carmen: "David, Eugene, Lauren, Hayleigh, Russell, Rachel, and Lexi, you do not mistreat people in public. It is considered rude and disrespectful. As punishment, you will not play video games for 3 days. You are banned from watching TV for a week, and you lost your computer privileges for 1 week as well."

[Oh the way home, however, Lauren hacks the radio and plays Bathory's "Total Destruction" at full blast]

Kevin: Turn this black metal off right now! I hate this so much!

Lauren: NO!!! BATHORY IS AWESOME, AND YOU WILL ALL LIKE IT!!!

[David and Eugene then proceed to pee on the car seats]

Carmen: You two are so gross!

David: Like we give a fuck!

Eugene: Yeah! That's what you all get!

Jo: "When we finally got home, the twins, the triplets, David and Eugene were disciplined."

Dealing with ADHD
Jo: "Today was a rough start for Adam because he was distracted by something and couldn't do something on a Sesamestreet.com activity."

Adam: "I can't spell ball. It's too hard..."

Carmen: "Yes you can. It's easy."

Adam: "No!"

Carmen: "Yes you can!"

Adam: "No, I'm going outside!"

Jo: "Adam started to kick off and got out of the chair."

[Adam throws a huge tantrum and gets out of the chair]

Adam: I'M GOING OUTSIDE!!!

Jo: "And went on a playground."

[Adam runs outside and gets on a slide]

Carmen: "Say goodbye to every single Toy Story figure you have for a month, I will tell Dad that you were being bad."

Adam: "Fuck no! I want my shit back, bitch!"

[Adam punches Carmen]

Jo: "I calmed her down and told her about Adam's condition."

Jo: "Don't do that punishment because he has ADHD and he could be distracted by something."

Carmen: "Oh, I forgot to mention he was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 3."

[Back at home, Adam wrestles his mom]

Adam: "I'm gonna kill you, whore!"

Carmen: "Don't you dare call me that word!"

Adam: "Shut up, bitch!"

[Carmen puts Adam in the Naughty Platform]

Carmen: "Stay here for 4 minutes, young man."

Adam: "FUCK YOU!"

[Adam gets out of the Naughty Platform and pees on the slide]

[Carmen walks outside and examines the pee on the slide]

Carmen: "Eww...That was disgusting!"

4 minutes later

Adam: "I ain't apologizing!"

Carmen: "Then your timeout starts over."

Adam: "GO KILL YOURSELF!"

[Adam then gets Amazon Alexa to play "Suck My Dog's Dick" by Wesley Willis]

Carmen: Turn that off right now!

Roaming Technique
Jo: "I want to show the family on how to use the Roaming Technique and we did so at a local farm."

[The non-identical twins, the triplets, Eugene, and David all run off into a field]

Carmen: "Wait! Stop! We are supposed to stick together, remember?"

[The triplets tip over a cow together]

[David takes a joyride on a horse]

David: "YIPPEE KAY YAY, MOTHERFUCKER!"

[Sasha blasts "Behind Those Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson]

[Eugene kicks a goat in the back and pulls its tail. The goat then headbutts Eugene.]

Eugene: Stupid fucking goat! Go fuck yourself!

[The non-identical twins launch hen eggs from the chicken coop with a slingshot at a cow that was tipped over by the triplets]

[The rest of the family and Jo chase after them]

[The 7 kids flee by taking a joyride on an unattended tractor]

Kevin: "Kids, get off the tractor."

Eugene: "HOW ABOUT YOU GO TAKE A FUCKING SMELLY SHIT IN A SWAMP?!?! WE WANNA KEEP GOING!"

Carmen: "Kids, you will not continue with this behavior. Do you understand?"

[Kevin turns off the tractor]

[The parents take the 7 off the tractor carefully]

The bad kids turn over new leaves except for the triplets, the non-identical twins, Eugene and David
Mia: We are so sorry for everything.

Lexi: Yeah. Me, Russell, and Rachel don't want to be bad no more.

Leah: Please forgive us.

Carmen: I forgive you kids.

Kevin: Lauren, Hayleigh, David, Russell, Lexi, Rachel, and Eugene, do you have something to say?

Lauren, Hayleigh, Eugene, Russell, Lexi, Rachel, and David: FUCK YOU ALL!!! YOU DARE YOU GIVE IN TO JOJO THE JACKASS!!! THAT'S IT!!!

[Lauren, Hayleigh, David, Russell, Lexi, Rachel, and Eugene all assault the kids]

Carmen: STOP THIS NOW!!!

[Lauren and Hayleigh shatter the TV]

[David flips the table]

[Russell, Lexi, and Rachel run outside naked]

[Eugene smashes the toys]

Kevin: GO TO YOUR ROOMS!!!

Bye Bye Jo Jo and Jo gives up on the triplets, the non-identical twins, Eugene and David
[The family returns home with sad faces except the triplets, the non-identical twins, David and Eugene]

Jo: "No offense, but I give up...."

Asa: "Jo, wait. Why did you have to give up? You should've helped us more."

Jo: "The triplets, the twins, David and Eugene were all far too difficult for me to control."

Carmen: "I get the point, Jo."

Adam: "Awww, I feel bad about you."

[Leah sobs]

David: "GOODBYE FUCKER!"

Eugene: YEAH!!! PISS OFF!!!

Lexi, Russell, Rachel: Never fucking come back, you fucking fatass!

Lauren and Hayleigh: And go eat some asses while you're at it!

Jo: "If I cannot help this family, and if I cannot try to come back for another chance, then sadly, I don't know who will help this family..."

Family Update
Jo: What have you done to the 7 amok runners?

Carmen: "Don't worry Jo, I sent those 7 to a Military School in London."

Jo: "Good. They need it."

Retirement Speech
Jo: "I've been working as a nanny for over 45 years, but now it is time for me to retire. I would like to thank all of the people that have supported me all over the years and to the wonderful families I've successfully brought together again. I will be travelling around the world and catching up with old friends. I'm going to miss this job so much."

(Jo chokes back tears)

Here's Gloria...
Gloria: "Hi, I'm Gloria! I'm a child care worker. I will replace Jo as the nanny."