Oliver gets sent to Military School

The Decision
Jasmin: "Oliver, look at me when I am talking to you. Your behavior at Behavior Modification Camp in Oregon was appalling! You are going to be sent to military school!"

Oliver: "IT IS A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE (bleep) EACH OTHER IN THE (bleep)!"

Jasmin: "Do not answer back to me with that profane language!"

[Oliver spits]

At Military School
[Oliver kicks an officer]

Officer: "Do 10 chin-ups on this bar! Then do 55 jumping jacks."

1 week after Oliver has left
Jasmin: "Beatrice, Kent! Do you want to play Chutes and Ladders with mommy?"

Beatrice: "Sure, mummy!"

2 weeks after Oliver has left
Oliver: "YOU AIN'T STOPPING ME! I WILL ALSO HAVE EMINEM!"

Officer: "Run 5 laps, please."

1 month after Oliver has left
[Oliver spits at the officer]

Officer: "You bought yourself 10 pushups, Lake!"

Oliver: "I WILL NOT DO THEM!"

[Oliver bites the officer]

Officer: "Right! 25 pushups!"

Oliver: "YOU ARE NOT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

[Oliver punches the officer]

Officer: "Drop and give me 30!"

Oliver: "SHUT UP, YOU FILTHY CLOWN!"

Officer: "Keep answering back and that is 50 pushups!"

2 months after Oliver has left
[The family (minus Oliver) are going to the movies]

Jasmin: "What movie do you want to see?"

cut to:

[Oliver smacks an officer in the face]

Officer: "Lake, you got 10 sit-ups. Let's move, move!"

3 months after Oliver has left
[Kent and Beatrice are playing Candyland with Jasmin while Quinn is playing with Jeff]

[The phone rings]

Jasmin: "I'll get it! We'll resume the game shortly."

[Jasmin picks up the phone]

Jasmin: "Hello? Who's this calling, please?"

Sgt. Melissa Patrick: "Mrs. Lake, your son, Oliver is a demon!"

Jasmin: "What are you talking about? I thought this camp was supposed to change my son's behavior..."

Sgt. Melissa Patrick: "He was throwing balloons filled with yellow paint, I was like OMG! You have to come and get him ASAP!"

Jasmin & Quinn get furious with Oliver
Jasmin: (stern voice) "OLIVER! YOU ARE BANNED FROM WATCHING TV FOR 2 MONTHS! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PLAY WITH YOUR 3DS FOR TONIGHT, OR ANYTHING ELSE! YOU ARE GOING TO BOOT CAMP!"

Quinn: (losing his cool) "YOUR XBOX 360 WILL ALSO BE GONE UNTIL YOU CAN LEARN TO BEHAVE! NOW TAKE OUT YOUR PENCIL AND PAPER AND WRITE AN APOLOGY LETTER TO SGT. PATRICK!!!"

Oliver: "I hate you and this family!"

Quinn (no cool, stern voice): "DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!"

Oliver: *writes* Dear Sgt. Patrick, I am sorry... NOT! CRAM IT! YOU'RE OUT OF IDEAS!

[Quinn examines the apology letter]

Quinn: "OK. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOU ARE BANNED FROM WATCHING TV FOR NOT TWO MONTHS, BUT SIX!"