Seinfeld Family/Transcript

Before the Revolving Line of Credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny...Ruth travels to Canada to meet a family with 6 children, 4 of them breaking mom and dad's hearts."

[Sheila destroys her mom's makeup]

Janice: "I WANT MY BOTTLE BACK!"

[Jacob runs in the kitchen naked]

Announcer: "They also torture the family's pet African Grey Parrot whose name is Chatterbox."

[Max bangs on the family's African Grey Parrot Chatterbox's cage, causing Chatterbox to squawk in fear]

Calvin-Chris: "Dude, leave Chatterbox's cage alone."

Max: "NO!"

Announcer: "For mom and dad, going out in public can be a horrifying nightmare for them."

[Sheila runs into a park's lake, takes off her clothes, and swims in it naked]

Tasha: "Sheila, get back here."

Naughty Bed
Ruth:I am introuducing the naughty bed. Everytime the kids are naughty they will go here Jacob for 5 minutes and Shelia for 4 minutes and Janice for 3 minutes and Max for 2 minutes.

Calvin Chris and Tasha:Okay

Off the Hip Technique
Ruth: "I introduced the Off the Hip technique to Tasha."

[Max screams as he clings onto one of Tasha's legs]

Ruth: "Tasha, come down to your son's level and provide him 2 options."

Tasha: (to Max as he lets go of her leg) "Max, listen to me please. I am giving you 2 choices. You can either play outside with your sisters and brothers or take a nap. Your choice."

Max: (crying) "I don't know..."

Tasha: "Come on, Max. It is your decision."

[Max hits Tasha]

Ruth: "No, we're not doing that."

Max: "YES!"

Tasha: "Max, listen. You have to either play outside or take a nap. You need to make your pick."

Max: (whining) "I CAN'T MAKE MY PICK!"

Tasha: "Yes, you can. Those are only your 2 choices. That's it."

[Max screams at the top of his lungs]

Tasha: "Ruth, what do I do now?"

Ruth: "Walk away."

[Max kicks Tasha as she tries to walk away]

Ruth: "Nah, nah, nah. We're not doing that kicking. You pick him up by the hand and look at him sternly in the face."

Onward
Ruth: "Later on, Jacob was teaching the family's pet African Grey Parrot to say inappropriate phrases. Due to encouraging the parrot to swear, Jacob was disciplined in the Naughty Bed."

Jacob: "Can you say 'I am a b****', Chatterbox?"

Chatterbox: "I am a b****!" (squawks)

[Tasha comes in]

Tasha: "Jacob Huckle Seinfeld, this is your first warning. If you keep teaching Chatterbox to say bad phrases, you will be placed in the Naughty Bed. OK?"

Ruth: "Jacob's refusal to listen to mom caused his placement in the Naughty Bed."

Jacob: "Chatterbox, say 'Mommy is a piece of s***'."

Chatterbox: "Mommy is a piece of s***!" (squawks again)

Tasha: "Alright, Jacob, you deserve a trip to the Naughty Bed for continuing to teach Chatterbox to swear."

Jacob: "I don't wanna go."

Tasha: "Jacob, NOW!"

Jacob: "I WANT TO KEEP TEACHING CHATTERBOX TO SWEAAAAAARRRRRR!"

Tasha: "No, you will not. You must stay in the Naughty Bed for 5 minutes because you taught him to say bad things."

[Jacob punches Tasha in the stomach]

Tasha: "You do not punch your mommy in the stomach. That is not acceptable."

Ruth: "Put him on the Naughty Bed, Tasha."

[Tasha places Jacob on the Naughty Bed]

Tasha: "You have been placed in the Naughty Bed because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop teaching Chatterbox to say rude things. Now stay here for 5 minutes."

[Jacob escapes outside naked]

Tasha: "Jacob, where are you?"

[Tasha notices Jacob running in the street naked]

Tasha: "Jacob, come back to the house and into the Naughty Bed and put your clothes back on before somebody sees you!"

Jacob: "YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME!"

[Tasha scoops Jacob up and returns him to the house and deposits him back on the Naughty Bed, walking away from him without a word]

Bye Bye Bottle
Ruth: "I showed Calvin-Chris and Tasha the Bye Bye Bottle Technique to give away Janice's bottle."

[Ruth pulls out a Disney Princess sippy cup from her purse]

Ruth: "What I want you to do is to explain to Janice in a firm voice that she doesn't need her bottle anymore."

Tasha: (to Janice) "Janice, listen to mommy. You do not need your bottle anymore. So we will replace it with a sippy cup."

Janice: (screaming) "I WANT MY BOTTLE!"

Tasha: "No, you are all done with the bottle. So you need to accept the sippy cup because you are not a baby anymore."

Janice: "BUT I WANT TO KEEP IT!"

[Janice throws the Disney Princess sippy cup out the window]

[Ruth goes out to retrieve the sippy cup]

Ruth: "Look, sweetie. This sippy cup is very special. It has the Disney Princesses; it has Belle, Tiana, Cinderella and Aurora! And I know you like Disney Princesses."

[Janice stops crying]

Ruth: "Are you ready to try it?"

Janice: "Yes."

Dinnertime
[The family is eating at the dining room]

[Sheila slurps her soup]

[Janice picks up her plate and starts eating like a pig]

[Jacob throws a piece of broccoli at Rio's shirt]

[Rio starts crying]

Tasha: "Rio, are you fine, my baby?"

[Max pours his soup from his bowl on Cliff's head]

[Cliff starts crying as well]

Calvin-Chris: "Cliff, what's wrong, tiger?"

Janice: Jacob threw his broccoli at Rio shirt.

Janice:Max poured his soup on Rio head.

Calvin-Chris:Janice put your plate down and use your sliverware

Janice:Okay

Tasha:Jacob and Max your going to the naughty bed for what you guys did for Rio.

Jacob and Max then sat on the naughty bed for 5 and 2 minutes.

2 minutes later

Tasha:Max you were on the naughty bed for pouring your soup on rios head

Max:Sorry

Tasha:Thank you and apologize to your brother too.

Max:Sorry Rio

Then 5 minutes later

Tasha:Jacob you were on the naughty bed for throwing broccoli at rio shirt.

Jacob:Sorry

Tasha:Thank you

After that the boys got their pjs on.

Tasha:Tell everyone good night.

Max and Jacob:Good night.

Ruth:Sheila and Jacob and Rio get to stay up. Max and Jacob don't have that tonight.