Acicia Family/Transcript

Before the revolving line of credit
Announcer: "Tonight on Supernanny..."

Ricky: "A young (bleep) man with a trash can strapped to the back of his (bleep) so the rats can't chew through the last pants."

Announcer: "Jo meets the Acicia Family.."

Jennifer: YOU'RE GOING TO SUFFER!!

Announcer: "..and finds a mom who holds her kids hostage. Can Jo stop her from making life a misery?"

Jo: I swear, Jennifer; I'm not kidding.

Submission Reel
Johnny: "When someone misbehaves, Jennifer brings out the wooden paddle to punish the children."

Regan: "Mummy is poo-poo!"

[Jennifer comes in with a wooden paddle, grabs Regan by her hands and hits her with it]

Jennifer: "This will teach you not to call me names, you bad pest!"

Johnny: "Ricky sings alot of songs with profane and questionable lyrics."

Ricky: (singing) "And I could die now, rebirth, mother(bleep)er, hop into my spaceship and leave Earth, mother(bleep)er,"

Jo: "My word..."

[Regan goes onto Jennifer's Facebook account entry and types in, "I am a stinky poo-poo head. I like work better than my family. I love to hit Regan with a paddle. I hate my family, too!"]

[Regan gets up and goes outside to play]

Jennifer: "REGAN! GET BACK HERE!!"

[Jennifer spanks Regan with a wooden paddle]

Jennifer: HOW DARE YOU VANDALIZE MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT?!!!!!!

Jennifer: How many times do I have to tell you not to vandalize my Facebook account?

[Jennifer deletes "I am a stinky poo-poo head" and continues spanking Regan]

Ricky: (singing) "But soon for a (bleep), it be on, mother(bleep)er, 'cause all the bull(bleep) had made me strong, mother(bleep)er,"

Jo: (gasps)

[Coraline bites Jennifer's arm]

[Glinda throws a potted plant out the window]

[Autumn throws Lacey's cosmetic kit out the window]

Jennifer: "Coraline, Glinda and Autumn are badly behaved children."

[Michaela spits at Jennifer]

[Coraline farts on Jennifer]

Observation begins
Lucy: "My dream is to become a kindergarten teacher, but mom keeps me from achieving my dream by making me work as a third parent. Mom is so selfish and lazy. She also shook baby Sierra, which caused her to become blind and have cerebral palsy, although she survived."

[We see baby Sierra]

[Michaela farts on Sierra]

[Sierra wails]

Observation continues
Jennifer: "All right, who sold my Blackberry on eBay?!"

Ricky: "What Blackberry? Don't look at me. I haven't seen your dumb gadget, you nagging old hag."

Jennifer: "Did you sell it on eBay?!"

Ricky: "Nah, (bleep), I'm retired. (bleep)ing your (bleep) in the (bleep) with a tire..."

Sakura: "Regan sold your Blackberry on eBay."

[Jennifer goes over to Regan and spanks her with a wooden paddle]

Jennifer: "This will teach you not to sell my Blackberry on eBay! How dare you?! After all I've ever done for you, you ungrateful, nasty little beast!"

Regan: "But what about my Let's Go Luna toys?!?!"

Jennifer: "PIPE DOWN, NAUGHTY GIRL!!! YOUR LET'S GO LUNA TOYS WILL BE CONFISCATED WHEN I AM DONE!!!!!"

[Regan cries]

Regan: "I want to play outside!"

Jennifer: "Too bad! You will not for a whole month, you disgusting little worm!"

Jo: "Kids need to go outside to explore not staying inside because It will decrease their social skills.

Regan: "I'll pee in my pants right now!"

Jennifer: "Don't you dare, you filthy, hideous brat!"

[Regan pees her pants]

[Jennifer spanks her even harder and faster]

Jennifer: "This will teach you not to pee in your pants, you miserable, malicious creature!"

Regan: "I HATE YOU! YOU NEED TO BE DEAD!"

[Jennifer spanks Regan a lot more faster and harder]

Jennifer: "SHUT UP! YOU STUPID, GROSS MONSTER!"

[Jennifer picks up Regan and drags her into the attic, locking the attic door]

Jennifer: "Now you stay in that attic! You shameful, dumb animal! And don't come out until I say so! No meals!"

Regan: "YOU ARE UGLY! LIKE A.... UGLYDOLL!"

(Regan escapes the attic and plays the Nick Jr. Free Draw game on the computer until Jennifer sees her.)

Jennifer: "We are not drawing on Nick Jr., turn the computer off, NOW!"

Regan: "GET THE HECK OFF MY LIFE!!!"

(Regan cries as Jennifer brings her back to the attic.)

[We hear a knock on the door, when Jennifer answers a woman from Child Protection Services is seen at the door]

Jennifer: Hello, how may I help you?

Woman: Hi, my name is Margaret from the Child Protection Services. (She walks inside) The department received a call from your children's schoolteachers, and asked if everything was okay at home. Do you mind if I talk to your kids?

[Ricky, Lucy, Regan, Orla, Michaela, Sierra, Coraline, Glinda and Autumn come to the den to meet Margaret and talk to her]

Mayhem at the Church
Ricky: (singing) "'Cause I don't give a (bleep) if you don't like my (bleep), 'cause I was high when I wrote this so suck my (bleep),"

Johnny: "Ricky!"

Ricky: "'Yeah, uh, base god (bleep),"

Johnny: "Ricky, we are in church."

[Johnny takes Ricky's headphones off]

Ricky: "'(bleep) you (bleep), bruh,"

Minister: "Sir, we do not tolerate this behavior at church because it is against our policy."

Ricky: "SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, GRANDAD!"

Jennifer's form of Discipline
Jennifer: "All right you nasty little beast, as punishment, you will be sleeping with the rats in the cellar for a week!"

Jo: "Jennifer!"

[Jennifer rolls her eyes]

Jennifer: "That nasty little beast disobeyed me and she needs to be punished!"

Jo: "No. That is the incorrect form of discipline."

Jennifer: "I told that hideous brat not to leave the yard, but she did it anyway. She needs to be taught a lesson."

John: "I'd like you to make it very clear that she goes to the Naughty Pit for timeout."

Jennifer: "She deserves it Jo!!!"

Jo: "There is many ways to discipline a child than spanking and banishing them in cellar!!!"

[Jennifer ignores Jo's comment and she banish Regan to the cellar]

Jennifer: "Now you stay in the cellar!"

Regan: "I hate you Mommy!!!"

Jo: "Why did you do that, Jennifer? I am worried that she won't be able to survive in the cellar!"

Jennifer: "She needs to learn her lesson."

[2 minutes later, Jo recovers Regan]

Jennifer: What. IS. HAPPENING?!

Orla Gives birth to a child
Jo: "Later on, I got a phone call at the hospital regarding that Orla was in labor, and she was giving birth to a child."

[We see Orla in the hospital room with her newborn baby]

Orla: "Hey, Jo. It's me, Orla. I just gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and his name is Benjamin."

* Huge silence between the family*

Regan: Oh great, another stupid baby.

Orla: REGAN!

Jo: "About an hour and a half later, Orla arrived home with her newborn son Benjamin."

Orla: "Hi, I'm home! Have you met my son, Benjamin?"

Jennifer: "Holy crap! What the hell is this!!!?!?

Orla: Oh, hi mom. Have you met my son Benjamin?